Hello, and welcome to Fruit Fly News, my name is Frizzie McBee. Today’s breaking news is about the horrifying state of marriage currently in Massachusetts. We have learned that since Gay Marriage was made legal in Massachusetts onFebruary 4, 2004, heterosexual marriage has a completely gone to utter chaos, as predicted by the James Dobson’ Focus on the Family and Pat Robertson’s 700 Club Ministries.
The divorce rate among heterosexual marriages has skyrocketed to 100% – with each heterosexual chosing, for no apparenty reason, that it’s much better to be gay than not. Hetersexual married couples with children have abandoned their kids in Lesbian Shock Troop Military camps and have been clogging the town halls with petitions to marry their next door neighbors.
FFN has sent out their field reporter Britt Flume into Massachusetts to witness this odd, yet predicted phenomena to learn more.
Britt? What can you tell us about what’s going on?
Yes Frizzie and thank you! Yes it’s true and weirdly predicted by the Focus on the Family and the 700 Club spokespersons!! I’m outside of the “danger-zone” of the rioting downtown Boston with MikeDohl who owns a small farm outside of Framingham, Massachusetts, who’s recently decided he too is gay and getting a divorce.
Mike; Please tell us about your decision about becoming gay and divorcing your wife and leaving your children!
Ah-yup! That’s right Britt, may I call you Britt? You’re quite cute too! Are you gay and married yet?!?
Err.. No. Err… I’m not gay and I am…err..
Well anyway! I decided that since everybody else is becoming a homosexual, I thought I’d give it a try too!! So, yesterday, I came home and found my wife in bed with my neighbor’s wife across the field and that’s when I told her I was going to become an official Texas Rump Ranger.
…And what was your wife’s reply, Mike?
Ah-Yup! She said that’s fine…she’s decided to be an official Channel-Surfer and wanted to know what we should do with the kids? I told her we could just leave them here on the farm and let them fend for themselves.
Errr… Thanks Mike! …I think.
Anyway Frizzie, in Boston – violent riots have broken out throughout the city. Heterosexual couples in their cars or walking down the streets seen holding hands are met with a barrage of former-heterosexual people throwing rocks andmolotav -cocktails shouting “We Hate Bush!! We Hate Bush!!”. The newly changed Homosexuals in Boston have begun setting up legislation making Heterosexuality illegal and considered a felony. Rioting crowds have been in the streets ever since Gay Marriage was legalize two and a half years ago and things don’t seem to be subsiding.
Governor Mitt Romney, who recently married his Chief of Staff “Robert”, after divorcing his wife and abandoning his own children, called for a “Gay Pride – Gay Love Day” for Massachusettscitizes in June. Governor Romney, when asked about this sudden change to be a Homosexual along with so many other formerly hetero-citizens, smiled back at me and winked and said: “I just decided that I Hate Bush, too.” Since then, he’s called for the Commonwealth’s National Guard to assist in the containing the violence. But that’s beeninnefectual due largely in part the newly stylized military uniforms from Olive Drab to Hot-Shock-Pink have not been sewn and distributed to all of the troops as of yet.
Back to you Frizzie!
Thank you Britt, good job. While it’s obvious that homeless children are appearing in the millions throughout Boston from their newly-gay-decided parents, the Red Cross has been called in for support. FEMA was also contacted and both have promised sending up trailers to house the children and they’re expected to arrive within the next twenty years. The Red Cross reports that the trailers for housing these newly abandoned children are stuck in a field somewhere in Arkansas awaiting for someone to condem the trailers as unsafe and unhealthy for occupancy.
Dr. Robert Spitzer is a Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University who has been conducting psychiatric research for more than 30 years. Dr Spitzer, after a long detail research on 800 gay people with 60 questions, has concluded that Homosexuals can change and become Heterosexuals if they try “real real hard”. Dr Spitzer also claims that gay lobby scrapes together weak, intellectual-sounding arguments to defend even the hint of contradiction to their own religion of “equal rights.”
Soon after Dr. Spritzer finished his study, he decided to become a Homosexual himself and moved to Massachusetts and joined a singles-group. Nobody has married him yet, and nobody cares why.
In his book; “Marriage Under Fire”, “Dr. James Dobson presents a compelling case against the legalization of “marriage” between homosexuals and the dire ramifications our nation could face. Traditional values in our nation are in severe jeopardy” even though you have to buy his book to learn how why.
Of course, most heterosexual couples who are anti-gay marriage have pointed to television as the culprit to why more and more people are becoming gay. We turned on our television and were astonished at the amount of homosexuality and gay activism currently going on Fox Television.
With the Homosexual Agenda as rampant as it is in America, it’s a wonder that countries like The Netherlands, Great Britain, France, Canada, Belgium and Spain haven’t already imploded upon themownselves.
My name is Frizzie McBee and thanks for watching this edition of Fruit Fly News! Good night everybody.
The Fruit Fly
Filed under: Gay Marriage, Uncategorized | Tagged: FEMA, Frizzie McBee, Gay Marriage, Mitt Romney (R - Mormon), Uncategorized | 1 Comment »