GOP Less Popular Than Dick (Cheney)

From Greg Sargent’s “Plum Line” who notes the latest poll from the NBS/WSJ Poll (PDF!):

The poll found that 26% of respondents have a very positive or somewhat positive view of Cheney, up eight points from April. Meanwhile, it found that the GOP overall is viewed very or somewhat positively by only 25%, down four points from April.

Wasn’t there a time when the only American more despised than Dick turned out to be Paris Hilton? In March 2006, the Washington Post noted that Cheney was polling at whopping 18% approval rating.  Comparing that level of dislike – the Post decided to note people in the news that had higher approvals.  Crunching the numbers, they found that Dick Cheney was:

• Less popular than singer Michael Jackson , bedmate of little boys and world-class screwball. One in four Americans — 25 percent — told Gallup polltakers last June they were still Jackson fans after the onetime King of Pop was found not guilty of child molesting.
• Less popular than former football star O.J. Simpson was after his arrest and trial for murdering his estranged wife and her companion. Three in 10 — 29 percent — of all Americans had a favorable view of Simpson in an October, 1995 Gallup poll.
• Less popular with Americans than Joseph Stalin is with Russians. In 2003, fully 20 percent said Stalin, blamed for millions of deaths in the former Soviet Union during the 1930s and 1940s, was a “wise and humane” leader. Thirty-one percent also said they wouldn’t object if Uncle Joe came back to rule again, according to surveys conducted by Russian pollsters.
• Much less popular than former Vice President Spiro Agnew in his final days in office. Forty-five percent approved of the job that Agnew was doing as President Richard Nixon’s veep in a Gallup Poll conducted in August 1973, little more than a month before Agnew resigned and pleaded no contest to a criminal tax evasion charge arising from a bribery investigation.
• Far less popular than former New Jersey Gov. James McGreevey days after he announced in August 2004 that he had engaged in an extramarital affair with a man and would resign. His job approval rating bumped from 43 to 45 percent.
• But take heart, Dick. About 35 percent of those interviewed by the CBS poll didn’t offer an opinion of you. Perhaps some of your supporters were shy. And other polls released later in the week pegged your popularity considerably higher.
• Besides, even at 18 percent you’re not the least popular public figure in America. You’re slightly better liked than that fabulously blond and brainless party girl Paris Hilton. She was viewed favorably last June by 15 percent of the public, according to Gallup.

While the poll-numbers have changed – can we assume that the bubble-headed bimbo is more popular than the GOP?!

Pray tell – when does the GOP realize that they’re going the way of the pteredactyl and the Whig Party?!

Dick Cheney on CNN tomorrow

Well, it’ll be a time of shock and horror tomorrow:

• Shock that John King (R-CNN) couldn’t find a prominent Democrat to interview so he’s going with a Republican that’s half dead
• Horror that we’ll have to endure more time with the worst Vice President this country’s ever had.

What do you think John King will ask Dr. Evil?

Better question: What does it matter? Cheney will lie about those things that’ll get him in trouble and he won’t be telling the truth on anything else.

Just remember! This is a “liberal” media we have here. This is commonly known as the “Clinton News Network”! ‘Course, if they actually interviewed a liberal, they might be ehem… “Right”!

Bush, The Unloved

Aww… This is sad news!

But wafting around Bush on Tuesday were sights and sounds that his tenure, which began with controversy eight years ago, had ended in controversy as well.

Just as demonstrators protested his court-mediated victory in 2000, so the disenchanted lined Avenue on Tuesday to express dismay with the way the presidency turned out.

As he drove with Obama to Capitol Hill, he passed protesters carrying signs reading “Arrest Bush.” When Bush made his entrance onto the grandstand, the crowd below began singing, “Hey, hey, hey — good-bye.” One man waved his shoe.

And when Bush’s helicopter lifted off from the Capitol, cheers rose from the throng below.

LOL! One dude waved his shoe… LOL! It was 15 degrees in Washington DC at that time, but some dude took the time-out to whip out a shoe and threaten Bush with it.

The last time I had that many laughs was reading the story about that ambulance driver right after Hurricane Katrina blew the snot out of everybody in New Orleans and everything within a 50 mile area. DICK Cheney was trying to look important giving an interview and the guy from behind the camera lens was shouting “Go Fuck yourself Cheney!” and the journalist standing nearby immediately asked: “Do you get a lot of that Mr. Vice President?”!

LOL! The dude threatens Bush with a shoe. I’m going to be laughing about that all day today. LOL! Bush, The Unloved. LOL! Bush is in Texas, America’s “Shit Hole State” and all he has is Laura to convince that he’s wonderful. LOL!

Syanara muthafucka!! …with a shoe!!

Arrest Warrants Issued for Cheney and Bush in Maple Syrup!

The towns of Brattleboro and Marlboro have in instructed their police departments to arrest Vice President Dick Cheney and Commander in Thief, George W. Bush. Without elaborating on any specifics, the ballot’s measure asked voters to approve the indictment based on “Crimes against the Constitution.”

State lawmakers have passed nonbinding resolutions to end the war in Iraq and impeach Bush and Cheney, and several towns have also passed resolutions of impeachment. None of them have caught on in Washington.

Pretty dumb, don’t you think? Especially when you head on to the next paragraph:

Bush has never visited the state as president, though he has spent vacations at his family compound in nearby Maine.

From USA Today:

In Brattleboro, the vote was 2,012 for and 1,795 against. In Marlboro, it was 43 to 25, with three abstentions.

“I hope the one thing that people take from this is ‘Hey, it can be done,”‘ said Kurt Daims, 54, who organized the petition drive that led to the Brattleboro vote.

He said he hopes Bush and Cheney are never arrested here; he wants them impeached before that could happen.

Organizers of the campaign to have these two thugs arrested complained because the ballot included their measure on the back of the form. They wanted the measure front and center on the front cover!

Organizers of the indictment campaign were frustrated that the printed ballot ended up relegating the Bush-Cheney indictment article to the back side, which they said would cause some people to miss it.

The 8-by-14-inch yellow cardboard ballot listed the offices and candidates in the local election on one side, and at the bottom in block letters “Turn Ballot Over and Continue Voting.”

The article read: “Shall the Selectboard instruct the Town Attorney to draft indictments against President Bush and Vice President Cheney for crimes against our Constitution, and publish said indictments for consideration by other authorities and shall it be the law of the Town of Brattleboro that the Brattleboro Police, pursuant to the above-mentioned indictments, arrest and detain George Bush and Richard Cheney in Brattleboro if they are not duly impeached, and prosecute or extradite them to other authorities that may reasonably contend to prosecute them?”

In spite of all the hub-bub going on – people forgot to turn the ballot over anyway. (Which is astounding, if you ask me.) Said:

Barbara Southworth, a 66-year-old nurse, said she would’ve voted against it.

“I forgot to vote because it was on the flip side,” she said.

Check out the last sentence on Deutsche Welle on the exact same story:

Voters in two towns in the US state of Vermont have approved a measure that would instruct police to arrest President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney for “crimes against the Constitution.” The nonbinding, symbolic measure, passed in Brattleboro and Marlboro instructs local police to extradite Bush and Cheney to other authorities that may prosecute them. Lawmakers in Vermont, a state known for its liberal politics, have passed nonbinding resolutions to end the war in Iraq and to impeach Bush and Cheney. None of them have caught on in Washington.

That’s pretty damned funny.

Here’s a really cool video I found on YouTube on the topic (Especially the last two older gentleman):

 

The Life and Times of “Eric, The Red”

I think the GOP’s tiny little heads are about to explode, and I love it. Everything inside of their dime-sized world is caving into this nefarious vacuum hole of theirs and they have nothing that can be done about it. On the Dems side; grassroots aren’t too excited about Hillary Clinton. (Except Bartcop of course. He loves the Clintons and Americana life when Clinton was in office. It’s a little bit Norman Rockwellian, but we love Bart just the same.) I think all of us are thrilled to support Barack Obama, Hillary (and John Edwards). …just not so much with Hillary. We definitely need change, in all of it.

One of my friends said to me one day; “Actually, having Hillary as President would be loads fun just to hear the Repukes whining and bawling all over again. I mean, the Repukes can only blame themselves with all of their stupid scandals, their wars, their Attorney General crap and now the economy… A return of the Clintons was an obvious result! Life with the Clintons was far better than life with the Bushes.”

And I couldn’t agree more. Bartcop is right: Life with the Clintons was a whole lot better than it was with the Bushes. And it’s a given: I’m not at all pleased with Obama’s stand things like gay marriage and I’ll gladly argue with him about his health care plans. But if Clinton wins the Big Brass Ring, I’ll gladly vote for her.

Unfortunately, the GOP can’t say the same thing about the Old Goats on their team.

The Reds hate John McCain, and they hate him with a passion.

Face it: McCain’s win in Florida was a shoe-in. McCain is an ancient old grandpa of a man and where do most ancient old grandpas and grandmas go to live? Can you imagine how much fun we’ll have watching McCain go after that “Young Republicans” vote (again) trying to look “Hip”?

How well will John McCain go over trying out some rap music hoping to get that “youth vote”? In four months from now, will John McCain be showing up on college campuses looking like Methuselah wearing “gangsta colors” and loads of Bling?!

YouTube is going to become a mecca of animated shorts mocking McCain. Subjects of derision for his candidacy will include topics about McCain’s:

• “dentures”
• “trophy wife”
• “trophy nurse”
• “lists of his meds”
• “Voting Records of the Dead” jokes.

You can fill in the blanks because McCain will be shooting them.

Last night, Eric at Red State heavily blogs while he’s watching the Florida Primaries and the results. I just happened to get a kick out of the “slow-motion” thing. With each entry you can see his hopes and dreams fade away with John McCain’s win. And I loved each and every entry.

@ 8:37PM Eric starts his night off bitching about Bill and Hillary:

Hillary Clinton has the support of both Alcee Hastings and Bill Clinton, the last two major political figures to be impeached by the Congress. I didn’t realize that.

Also, there is something disingenuous about the media coverage of Hillary’s race. The Democrats shut down the MIchigan and Florida delegations because of their calendar placements. All the candidates withdraw except Hillary.

I cannot believe the media is giving her campaign favorable treatment for breaking the rules in this way. It’s asinine.

She can’t win in valid contests so she’s going to invalid ones to win. Pitiful.

“Whatever you say, Lunchbox…” <sigh> Stupid Republicans.

Bitching about the Clintons must be a requirement to keep their Honorary Membership cards. The dumbasses.

@ 8:47PM (Ten minutes later) Eric’s cleaned out his his email and someone’s bitching at him about his hatred towards Ron Paul. (Red State has hated Ron Paul and Ron Paul supporters for months now. Eric of Red is apparently no exception.)

From: justin.campbell@scripps.com
Subject: [General Contact Form] Restate.com
Date: January 29, 2008 2:41:08 PM EST
To: RedState.com
Reply-To: justin.campbell@scripps.com

Justin Campbell sent a message using the contact form at
http://www.redstate.com/contact.

Shame on you for “banning” Ron Paul supporters from posting.

You can’t “ban” the truth – as much as you want to…

You should be scared. It’s a Ron Paul Revolution.

[expletive deleted] REDSTATE.COM

@ 8:54Pm (seven minutes later), Eric blogs again. In less than fifteen minutes he’s realized the winner and he’s decided to open a bottle of booze. Eric the Drunk the Red says:

Can John McCain win a Republican primary when just Republicans vote? We’ll find out tonight.

Here’s your open thread.

Polls close at 7pm, but remember the Panhandle is in the Central Time Zone while the rest of the state is Eastern Time Zone.

Exit polling shows a neck and neck race between McCain and Romney.

[UPDATE:] Seniors, veterans, Hispanics, and those concerned about the economy broke for McCain. Conservatives and evangelicals broke for Romney. A reporter from a major news service has called asking for my comment on McCain’s narrow win tonight.

[UPDATE AT 9:12:] John McCain can win in a Republican Primary and he has. Ladies and Gentlemen, we now have our front runner and more likely than not our nominee. Make of that what you will. Me? I’m turning to drink.

[UPDATED AT 9:18:] The way this is shaping up, it’s military vs. conservatives. Likewise, like with Howard Dean in 2004, let’s strike from the rule book the notion that the guy who has the most money wins. Here’s an unpleasant truth for conservatives tonight, myself included: Mitt Romney will limp on, but keep his stack of silver medals in 2nd place. Rudy is over. I’m still voting for Fred. John McCain, at least, I maintain is probably the most viable against Hillary or Obama.

He’s begun doing shooters…

Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s prepare for John McCain as our nominee. As of tonight, the writing is on the wall.

…Now here he’s pissed that he’s had too many shooters…

And I want my party back, by the way. Apparently the McCain people are reading my last line as insulting, which was not my point (I’ll have something up later). For now, I mean it, but I retract it. Tune in tomorrow for exactly what I mean.

@ 9:50PM (Fifty-six minutes later) Eric stumbling around looking for his bunny slippers:

Tonight was not a failure of conservatism, but a triumph of military voters who have made their home in the Republican Party because we are the party of a strong national defense.

In both South Carolina and Florida, they won it for McCain. In the grand coalition of the GOP, we’ve talked about social conservatives and fiscal conservatives. We’ve all ignored the military voters, except John McCain. And he won them big. His message resonated.

And the man still has an +80% conservative rating. I shed no tears.

In the morning, Eric’s had a really bad night’s sleep. He’s pissed because of all the booze and he didn’t just dream this nightmare. He isn’t dead and there’s no hope he’ll spend eternity with 72 virgins. He writes this piece entitled “Electile Dysfunction“, let’s see if you can detect the dank scent of hangover:

I want my party back. I really do. My party, if you will remember, is the one that fights the Democrats on spending, instead of pushing them aside to get a place at the trough.

My party is the one that is conservative without Michael Gerson.

My party is the one where we can disagree politely on matters without calling each other traitor.

Now, personally, I blame George W. Bush for all of this. You can blame Romney or McCain or Giulilani if you want. But George W. Bush left us with a political power vacuum. He knew Cheney wouldn’t run. Cheney would be the heir apparent. Instead of pointing us in a direction, we had this wonderful primary season that has split the party into pieces.

The GOP has a pattern of going with the heir apparent. The party is keeping true to form by heading toward McCain. It has nothing to do with rejecting conservatism. It has everything to do with conservatives following history and tradition and traditionally we’ve always known who the heir was going to be.

George W. Bush, in his utter disregard for the conservatism of the party, decided to break with past precedent on this issue and we find ourselves in the present mess. Along the way, he also gave us big government conservatism, Michael Gerson, Dan Bartlett, an immigration fight, and out of control spending by his own party.

So now we are left with Romney and McCain.

HA!!! So now it’s George W’s fault!!! HAHA!! You can’t get more entertainment than that!

The Republicans have been the Party of Hate since the days of Ronald Ray-Gun. They have a laundry list of everything and everybody that they despise. And now, Redstate has added the Village Idiot to that very same list. Nothing more funny than a Red Ripe Republican bitching and whining about George W after seven years of insanity inside the Oval Office.

Mister Eric of Red; “Have you recently figured out that King George was an Idiot? Or have you been the True Idiot all along?!”. It’s like bitching about hearing Satanic voices by playing Led Zepplen’s “Stairway to Heaven” backwards and using an 8-Track player to prove your point.

The GOP isn’t a political party. It isn’t even a social construct to reflect a political frame of thought. The GOP is social disease of hatred and contempt for anything remotely related to connected to Americana. They hate our Right to Privacy, so they eavesdrop on us. They hate our Right to be Free of Religion, so they give money to selected religious groups. They hate our Right to be Free, so they decide who we are and are not allowed to marry. They hate our Right to be Americans and so they terrorize us.

…And now, they’ve finally, after all of these years…they’ve finally begun to hate themselves.

Letters to the Editor: Gulf News (UAE)…One person’s thoughts on GWB

Ahh…. Those fabulous days when they laughed about Bill Clinton’s “foreign policies” when he became President. They laughed at our (DNC) stupidity with some dumb hick from Arkansas off to visit the foreign heads of state. The laughter! How they joked and riddled each of us…Clinton was our guy and we elected some dumb hick. …How well I remember those days…<sigh>

Well, the sunset hours of our current Texas-sized trailer-park trash and the fruits of his own “foreign policies” have begun to ripen. Ever wonder how people from foreign lands feel about our current “foreign relations genius? Of course we’ll overlook that that disaster of a trip Bush and his wife took to Argentina in Nov. 2005 . The one when Hugo Chavez made Bush looked like an idiot and the local press was reporting that the country had never seen such a mass-riots. The same Argentinian Summit where Bush retured home stumbling drunk and showed up to endorse Jerry Kilgore for Governor who ended up loosing in landslide…but I digress.

Today, Bush is visiting the Middle East. He’s hoping to cinch up the final days of his “legacy” over there. Rachel Maddow lead me to a Letter to the Editor in the United Arab Emirate’s Gulf News and I thought it was worth blogging.

You can read the entire letter for yourself, while I’ll just plagiarize the first sixty-five sentences. Now when you read it.. Read it allowed. …That way you’ll get the full effect of what the author is trying to say.

Ready? Okay..! Ehem..! “A Letter to the Editor! …One person’s viewpoint on our President of the United States: George W. Bush” …read out loud:

Dear Mr. President;

Lest you forget. Invasion of Iraq. Thousands of dead. Looting the National Museum. Disbanding the Iraqi army. Donald Rumsfeld. Shock and Awe. Jay Garner. Paul Bremer. Inciting sectarianism. Abu Ghraib. Thousands of detainees without charges. Torture. Oil. Ghost WMDs. The Niger connection. Halliburton. Blackwater. Deadly security contractors. Mercenaries. Fallujah. Haditha massacre. Blind support of Israel. Instigating the suffering of Gaza. Ignoring the expansion of illegal colonies. Defying United Nations resolutions. Securing “a Jewish State”. Allowing Israelis to extend the destruction of Lebanon in the 2oo6 war. Providing Israel with new Bunker Buster bombs to attack Lebanese towns. The War on Terror. “The Crusade”. Clash of civilisations. Where is Osama Bin Laden? Afghanistan. Bagram massacre. Bombing media offices. Guantanamo Bay. Kangaroo courts. Indefinite detention. Presidential orders to ignore Geneva Conventions. “Unlawful enemy combatants”. Illegal National Security Agency wiretapping. Fingerprinting visitors. Black prisons. Kidnapping foreign citizens on foreign lands. Khalid Al Masri. Abu Omar. Maher Arar. Central Intelligence Agency. “Aggressive interrogation techniques”. Destroying the torture tapes. Iran tension. Isolating Syria. Embracing Syrian opposition Iraq style. The Chavez coup. Denial of global warming. Rejecting Kyoto Protocol. Marginalisation of the United Nations. John Bolton. Paul Wolfowitz and the World Bank. Carl Rove. Alberto Gonzales. Firing attorneys. Nepotism. False democracy promises. Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney and Dick Cheney.

Ahhh… How I miss the days when we had a real President in office… tsk tsk tsk… Instead, we have Texas’ finest in ‘Cowboy Diplomacy’.

What’s that you say?! Oh yes, I remember that saying too: “He who laughs last, laughs best.”

Problem is; nobody’s laughing.

“I” is for “Impeachment”

Okay, I think I’ve figured out what happened.

Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH 10th) Presidential hopeful and Druidic High Priest, entered HR Bill 333 back in April 2007. Everybody snickered and giggle behind his back because as you already know, Kucinich smokes marijuana and gets his Tarot read by famous Hollywood moonbats like Shirley MacLain. Only problem is that High Priestess Nancy Pilosi already told everybody that Impeaching any of the Bush Cartel was off the table. (Pilosi is far too liberal and way too interested in working on the super-secret “Gay Agenda” to be dealing on an Impeachment case.)

Yesterday comes around and Nancy’s sex-slave Steny Hoyer (D-MD 5th) holds the floor and up comes HR Bill 333. Hoyer doesn’t want to deal with this bill and so he puts out the vote to “table it”. In other words: “Let’s ignore this bill like we did in New Orleans.” Now before he can call for a vote to “table” the bill, it has to be read to the full House or Representatives. Out comes a House clerk who’s name was Willow or something and she reads the Articles of Impeachment for Dick “Darth Vader” Cheney.

Now, the dope-smoker ‘s articles of Impeachment are official in the Congressional records. Steny Hoyer thanked Willow and then told the full House that his “Safe Word” was “butt pimple”. He said that it was important that before any sexual activity began during the vote, that everybody knew what everybody else’s “safe word” was. He then repeated his own: “butt pimple”.

The Dems aren’t really interested in the bill; it reaks of mugwort and deep-fried eye-of-newt. Besides, someone had written the bill on hemp paper. The only ones that are interested in the bill are Dems that have their own Druid high priestesses and Dark Arts professors.

The Republicans are definitely not interested in Impeaching their beloved Darth Vader; so being protected on all sides by The Empires’ Storm Troopers, they immediately began voting “Hell YEAH-Let’s Table It”.

House Minority leader John Boehner (R-OH 8th) took some erectile dysfunction tablets made by Pfizer, Inc. and all of a sudden, he had an epiphany: Here was a golden opportunity embarrass High Priestess Pilosi! If they voted against tabling it and let the bill come to the floor for a full debate…

“That little pill creates some mighty big results!” he thought. Here was a brilliant opportunity to make Pilosi look stupid in front of the United States and her “life-partner”!!

With an erection that looked like he had a decent sized pumpkin in his drawers, Boehner began pushing Storm Troopers out of his way and saying; “Get the hell out of my way! I’m John Boehner and I work for the good of The Empire!”. He tagged all of his colleagues by saying “Let’s make fun of Pilosi…this’ll be great. Let’s all vote against tabling this stupid bill and we’ll be able to debate it and make Pilosi look like a Jack-Ass! Get it?! She’s a Democrat so we can make her look like a Jack-Ass!!”

All of the Republicans laughed and said; “Yeah, we get it. That’s really funny…”jackass”. Now what are we supposed to do again?”

Boehner had a very difficult time keeping their attention with that medication “problem” down in his trousers banging into them. But eventually he managed to get his message through. All of the Republicans finally understood and said; “Ooohhh! SNAP!! The Emperor and Darth Vader will be so pleased! You’re right! We can make fun of Pilosi and that stupid Dennis Kucinich too!”

One Republican said to him; “Have you had that…ehm..bulge for more than four hours?” I don’t know: It could have been a physician who asked that, but more than likely it was just another Republican closet-case.

Anyway, Steny left the sacrificial virgin on his pulpit for 15 minutes…and then a little longer…and then a little longer. And he began to realize that not only did he have to take a pee-break, but that the Republicans were are changing their votes from “Yeah Let’s Table It” to “No Way Man, Let’s Have a Debate About It!!”. Steny didn’t know what to think: On one hand, it’d take over a half hour to get all of his leather gear off so he could pee — on the other, he didn’t understand why the Republicans were being such idiots for changing the votes to “NO” and then flipping him the bird.

Steny decided to risk it and take a pee-break and to let the Republicans have all the time they needed. After an hour, the full House had their votes cast and so Steney pushed the sacrificed virgin off his pulpit and called the vote.

170 – 242

(WTOP.com and the NY Times reports that the 162 – 251, but who cares what they have to say anyway.) That means, 170 members said “Yeah..Let’s scrap Kucinich’s HR 333″ and 242 who said; “Let’s not table it – Let’s debate it so we can make fun of Nancy Pilosi!!! “

“We’re going to help them out, to explain themselves,” said Rep. Pete Sessions (R-TX 32nd) while pulling the head off an adolescent Ewok. “We’re going to give them their day in court.”

Hoyers’ gavel, a labrys stolen from the High Priestess’ office, banged on the pulpit: “So moved. We’ll open it up to debate the Impeachment.”

Then, reality hit the Republicans like a Jedi knight’s lightsaber through their brain-pans: “What did we just do?!?! Huh?” Someone from some redneck state whimpered nervously; “Did we just vote to open the debate on the Impeachment of Darth Vader?!”

Storm Troopers closed ranks around all of them, Vader immediately grabbed his shotgun and a little bit of pee ran up John Boehner’s leg. The Emperor sent a fleet of Incom T-65 X-Wing star fighters to hover over the House of Representatives and signed another $30 Billion contract with Boba Fett.

Sunshine, a communal-spouse of Harry Waxman (D-CA 30th) suddenly placed her blunt down gingerly and said: “Why don’t we push this off to Committee?!”

Everybody looked up to Steny Hoyer thinking: “Good idea! Let’s push it off to committee!” Patrick McHenry (R-NC 10th) winked at Hoyer and had a Congressional page pass a note up to him that said: “Your leather outfit is turning me on…call me Daddie. Love, Patty-Pat-Pat.”

Steny Hoyer grabbed another virgin, this time a brunette, sacrificed her to in the name of the Goddess Morrigan and held the vote: “Shall We Push Kucinich’s HR 333 Off To Committee?!”

The House voted again. This time:

218 194

(WTOP.com got it figured out that time.) Now the bill is in the hands of John “Big Eagle Winds” Conyers (D-MI 14th) who’s head of the House Judiciary And All Things Wicca.

John Boehner began crying (again) and sobbing: “The Emperor will be so upset with me!! Oh goodness, I just love this country so much… He…he.. He’s just going to kill my family and he’ll boil my head and eat it for lunch!!” Storm Troopers carried Boehner off while he was wailing and begging for mercy.

The bill was originally co-sponsored by House Judiciary Committe members: Tammy (Dew Rain) Baldwin (D-WI 2nd) Keith (Moonbeam) Ellison (D-MN 5th), Sheila (Rainbow) Jackson-Lee (D-TX 18th), Steve (Sunflower) Cohn (D-TN 9th), Maxine (Twilight) Waters (D-CA 35th) and Hank (Sunlight) Johnson (D-GA 4th), none of whom have passed a drug test since the 2nd Grade. Now that they have more power to truly Impeach the Vader, none of them show any interest today.

Representative Conyers, an former rabid hater of the Empire, the Emperor and Darth Vader, whimped out and has decided that he’s too busy to be bothered by all of this Impeachment Bru-Ha-Ha. His sweat lodge found Judiciary spokeswiccan named “Oak Would” (who was in the middle of “The Mysts of Avalon”) and sent her out to say this:

“The committee has a very busy agenda – over the next two weeks, we hope to pass a FISA bill, to vote on contempt of Congress citations, pass legislation on prisoner re-entry, court security and a variety of other very important items. We were surprised that the minority was so ready to move forward with consideration of a matter of such complexity as impeaching the Vice President. The Chairman will discuss today’s vote with the committee members but it would seem evident that the committee staff should continue to consider, as a preliminary matter, the many abuses of this Administration, including the Vice President.” – House Judiciary Committee Spokeswoman wiccan.

High Priestess Nancy Pilosi, the first Speaker of the House to create a blog off the Priestess’ coven, has absolutely NOTHING listed about HR Bill 333.

Whew!! Washington can be such a crazy place!!! Thank the Goddess I had Kagro X @ DailyKos to help me figure all that out!!

Found near a coffee cup

Lost and Found

In 1994, The Clinton Administration was subpoenaed by Congress for billing records from Hillary’s Rose Law Firm. The Clinton’s didn’t respond because they said they couldn’t find the records anywhere. Then in 1996, the records were found in a room next to the Oval Office. The newly controlled Republican Congress rolled their eyes in dramatic fashion and even Rush Limbaugh said: “oh puuuh-leeeeze”.

Fair enough! Record keeping that bad deserves a good kick in the teeth. This is the office of the President of the United States, not some half-wit hacks running the country.

But little attention is noted to the White House who, when subpoenaed by the newly controlled Democratic Congress demanding documents related to alleged illegal wiretapping. The White House told Congress that they couldn’t find the documents until yesterday…

But where they stuffed underneath a few boxes? Behind the bureau? Nope! They were in Vice President Cheney’s office the entire time!! That’s the good news!

The bad news? Cheney’s office isn’t handing the documents over to Congress. Cheney has decided that claiming Executive Priveledge is a right bestowed up on the Office of the Vice President. (Even though he’s really not in the Executive Branch two months ago to the day.)

All together now: “OH PUHH-LEEEZE!!”

Liberal blogger kicks Fred Thompson in the ‘Nads

The guy who leaked the story about Mark Foley (R-FL) has once again shown to the world that he has a spine. Congressional Democrats are stunned to learn that kicking a Royal Republican is not only possible, but quite fun!

Lane Hudson has filed an FCC Complaint against Fred “Lazy-Ass” Thompson for, well… being a lazy ass!

“[Thompson] has been presenting himself as a candidate for President, he has been raising large sums of money beyond what would be required to explore a possible candidacy.”

Hudson’s blog entry continues:

and he has signed a long term lease on a headquarters for his campaign. He has even spent advertising dollars, which are specifically prohibited by the law.

Thompson spokesperson has confirmed: Fred Thompson’s balls have been kicked pretty hard, but they’re still pretty red.

Don’t take your metal bat love to town

President Bush’s original White House Press Secretary, Ari Fleischer is running a new political spin game. He’s campaigning to lift a city-wide ban on metal baseball bats in high school games. Fleischer’s “Don’t Take My Bat Away” campaign states that he thinks metal baseball bats are perfectly safe and keeping them out of the game is completely unfair. He thinks the city managers aren’t qualified to make such a decision and thinks it would be better to let “his experts decide” such matters.

Oh! I forgot the best part! The name of the town is “Pound Ridge”, New York.

bar-up-up-tshhhhhhhh

Toot my own horn

August 1st, I was the first to break the story about Minneapolis’ I-35W bridge collapse and to point out Republican Tim Pawlenty was running this state “on the cheap“. Four hours after the bridge collapsed, I blogged the fact that the Democrats knew there was a problem with our roads and bridges and Tim Pawlenty vetoed the DFL bills to begin a plan to fix these transportation problems. I was pummeled by right-wing nut jobs demanding that I shut up, and that I was a complete A-Hole because of politicizing such a tragedy.

From The Nation magazine to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, I was the first one to speak up about this horror and accuse the Republican Governor of negligence and his arrogance for his DFL legislature. And I was told to shut up.

Yesterday, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune has published a story that stating that MinnDOT knew about the bridge’s weaknesses and they were told to ignore it.

Internal MnDOT documents reviewed by the Star Tribune reveal that last year bridge officials talked openly about the possibility of the bridge collapsing — and worried that it might have to be condemned.

But five weeks later, all those preparations stopped. In a single conference call on Jan. 17, the same consultants who said reinforcement plates were needed to strengthen the bridge cautioned MnDOT that drilling for the retrofit could weaken it.

“That was the turning point. That’s where we turned the ship 180 degrees,” said state bridge engineer Dan Dorgan.

Republican arrogance caused this bridge to fall. And it was Republican apathy towards our infrastructure that caused the senseless and horrible death of twelve 13 Minnesotans.

Today, Bush is in town for a fund raiser for Republican Senator Norm Coleman’s utterly failed re-election campaign. Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty asked the Republican President to up the ante of money the Feds could give Minnesota by making it a an official disaster site. Fourteen minutes ago from the time of writing: Bush declares federal emergency at Minn. bridge collapse.

The city and state became eligible for more federal assistance for the recovery from the interstate bridge collapse on Tuesday when President Bush declared an emergency exists in the state, the White House said.

This Governor’s administration team knew this bridge would collapse. Governor Pawlenty, his Lt Governor Carol Molnau, or quite possibly both of them knew it was only a matter of time. Bush’s appearance for a fund raiser, giving more money to Pawlenty for the collapse, and the overwhelming support from this Republican White House stinks to high Heaven.

The Star-Tribune’s craziest lunatic for a “journalist” is conservative Katherine Kersten (a.k.a. “Rita Skeeter”). Her Sunday’s column is entitled: Bridge collapse ought to unite us, not divide us.

They’ve been dividing us since the days of Reagan who demonized our government. They’ve insisted our government doesn’t work and isn’t worth saving. They’ve vetoed our plans, and then complained Democrats have no plan!

How can we be united when they hate our country? Where’s the unison when anybody that disagrees with these Republicans are immediately shouted down?

They won’t let us use stem-cells to look for cures for our children. They have a higher regard for mega health insurance companies than they do for our children. If our kids do survive and grow up to healthy young men and women; they’re lured and bribed to go fight for their global oil wars. How can they govern while our families are dead at the bottom of a river underneath hudreds of tons of crumpled steel?!? These Republicans govern like they have a coupon to a Blue Light special special, and you’re “the Special”.

GOP Fundraiser: Machine-Gun Shoot

The Democrats have finally gone too far in their constant criticizm of their friends across the aisle. And, I think it really should stop.

In Manchester, New Hampshire, the city GOP committee chair Jerry Thibideau has hatched an ingenious idea to raise funds by holding a “Machine Gun Shoot”. He’ll encourage his fellow GOP members to bring their Uzis and their AK-47′s for a little bit fun shooting at each other targets.

The Democrats, typical stick-in-the-mud old goats they tend to be, have decided that this is a bad idea.

The concept prompted shudders across the political aisle. Chris Pappas, the city Democratic party chairman, called the event “not just in poor taste; it is downright offensive.”

Of course, I think the opposite. I think that there couldn’t be anything more fantastic than a bunch of GOP assholes getting together fully loaded with automatic weapons and get together. …. Give them some beer… Give them more beer. Give them as much beer as they want!

And then…. LOCK-N-LOAD!!!!

Thibideau is serious too, which is even better news! He’s running around inviting every GOP asshole he can find! Check it out:

Each of the Republican Presidential candidates was invited, Thibodeau said, but all declined, saying they’ll be busy preparing for the following weekend’s much-ballyhooed straw poll in Ames, Iowa.

“I really tried to get Rudy Giuliani there,” Thibodeau said. “Because I’ll tell you, this is a guy that can’t relax.”

Yeah really… Get Rudy Guiliani in there too.

C’mon Rudy! Grab a few cold beers and get in there for some fast action with an AR-15….

C’mon you wossie!!

And Thibideau shouldn’t limit himself with just Rudy Guiliani either. That guy should be inviting other GOP assholes like Glen Beck, and Ann Coulter… Shoot! You could even invite Dick Cheney too!!

These Democrats….it’s a real shame but they just don’t know when to sit back, shut up and watch the fun!!!

Who Flung Pooh?

I swear to God, The Gods, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu and Isis, this is a true story. Complete with the coincidence of the time-line.

With friends last Thursday night for dinner… My dearest Love says to them; “I’m trying to talk him <me!> to go with me <him!> to the Candlelight Vigil at Church on Christmas Eve night.”

Now think Phyllis Diller humor, or sarcasm for a minute… Our companions at dinner, gasped and laughed when they heard that I was going to Westminster for Candlelight Services on Christmas Eve. All of of them said in suprise; “You?!??” “You’re going to Church?!?!” And then there were peals of laughter and lots of spitting at me.

Yes, I said “spitting”. (We’re always spitting at each other when we’re eating. My husband says; “Please pass more mashed potatoes”. So, I pass them and spit on them as I hand him the potatoes. He’ll take what he wants and spits on them and hands them back to me…)

But, I digress. Excitedly, my husband is telling them he might have convinced me to join him on Sunday Eve and everybody’s in shocked that I would even consider it. They’re all laughing and I finally said; “Yeah.. I’ll walk into that Sanctuary at Westminster on Christmas Eve and that Baby Jesus will wakeup, crawl out of that manger, point his chubby baby-sized finger at me and say; ‘Who in the fuck are you!!?”

…We’ve been laughing about the outburst for three days now. Saturday night he said to me; “Are you really going with me tomorrow night to the Westminster Candlelight vigil?” And I grinned and said; “If I get a chance to see that little Baby Jesus look at me and say “who the fuck are you”? Are you kidding?! How often does that happen?! I’m there!”

Now please don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Westminster Prebyterian Church per se. However, it should be noted that Minnesota Presbyterians are hated up here. Whether you’re in a funeral procession, or attending a wedding; you’re always faced with a Presbyterian who’s all up in your grill about the Presbytery. Like, they think if you’re not a Presbyterian, it’s a guarantee that you’re going to H-E-Double Hockey-Sticks. Those damned Presbyterians go door to door, riding their bicycles, wearing those white shirts with that black tie. I’m always yellin’ at them from my car as I drive by; “Get a real religion you freaking Presbyterians!!”

Damned Presbyterians… They’re the only Protestant faiths with the letter “Y” in the name.

The other night, I settled down to scan the ‘Internet Horizon’, and I begin with Landover Baptist Church and “Oh Snap! Look at this headline:”

Baby Jesus Leaps From Manger, Hurls Wet Manure Into Faces of Shocked Audience

Note this photo. The creater, rather than show the Baby Jesus flipping the bird, he shows us the results of the Baby Jesus’ pooh-flinging at both Mary and James. (That’s Mary Matalin, not the Mary, Mother of Jesus you understand.)

The pooh was flung at these two from both political parties. My guess: It’s James Carville’s party that has been throwing the most pooh lately. What with his calling for Howard Dean’s resignation from the DNC within weeks AFTER the 2006 election. What happened to James Carville anyway?

And, who flung pooh that “Horrible Mary Kay”? It’s stunning, because even her snear doesn’t even smudge that bad make-up job one single bit. She’s still ugly. It’s stunning what these conservative Republican women could accomplish if they’d simply get them “a Gay” to help them with these crises’. Just ask Kathy Griffen. But, with James Carville leaking Dem information to his wife, it’s no wonder the Dems have begun to pooh-flunging at both of them! One day, we can hope Dick Shooter Cheney will take “Horrible Mary-Kay” quail hunting and improve that make-up job of hers.

While Christmas stories are being discussed. Let’s remember that Google Earth Killed Santa, and here’s how it happened. (Hint: He even has the time to note a Google Search resulting in a nude sunbather on a rooftop somewhere in The Netherlands.) I’ve looked closely at this photo, and I can say confidently that I have not had sex with this person. I’m a liberal, but even liberals like me have to draw the line somewhere.

The Boy Scouts have their own problems. They’re willing to discriminate against gays, while accepting public funds. I was hoping to get a Merit Badge on my own. I would get my Drama Queen patch in less than twenty minutes, and with my badges in knot-tieing and Pitching, they’d elect me leader of “the Pack”.

Let’s go to Kansas. Why the hell not? We might get a clue as to who stole Dorothy’s ruby-red slippers from her memorial museum in Grand Rapids, MN. (My odds you’re thinking with will be another gay story, and you’d be right!) Did anybody notice this weird gay-lez Liberal Movement appearing within the beltway of America’s Heartland? First, it’s the Republicans that are bailing from the “Grand Older Party” down there and now they’re starting to find Queers who sit on the city counsels and asking the rest of the city to think seriously about this issue.

Are you seriously kidding me? I can solve this mysterious entanglement quickly: We go to Kansas, we get a search warrant for Dorothy’s “hot” slippers and raid every drag queen’s closet and shoe tree for those smelly old slippers, and then we run the GOP off to the Land of Oz. Those damned little Munchkins could use a little GOP action in their lives, and the Grand Wizard of Oz could certainly use the hot air for that ballon of his.

This is a piece I think is fantastic. JoeBacon, a buddy of mine in SoCal found it. It’s a new Barbie piece where you can buy Barbie a dog and it will poop for you! (Hint; If you click the picture, you’ll get to see the YouTube commercial for Barbie’s dog “Tanner”.)

Barbie, like in so many other things, fails miserably in potty-training her own. What’s patently obvious, like her boy friend Ken, the Barbie pooch has been neutered.

Finally with this “package” that Mattel is selling to your children; the “vaccuum pump”. They’re selling a real live shit-sucker for their Barbie. Corporate America can by such hypocrits. Do you remember when Mattel actually filed a lawsuit against Aqua for doing that song that spoofs Barbie? Mattel thought anybody making a parody about their Barbie was worth the attorney’s fees. Mattel lost and then Weird Al comes along and spoofs Aqua! Now that same Mattel corporation is releasing their latest product line for Barbie; A dog named Tanner that shits everywhere and a vaccuum pump to suck the shit off my living room rug.

By the way, if you pay attention to the original Aqua song, you’ll notice they included a dog with a doghouse! Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!! Dammit Barbie!! You’re little dog just peed on our area rug in the living room!

Isn’t there a Barbie Bitch out there somewhere?

So there you have it. Barbie’s gotten rid of Ken and has a self-pooping dog. The poop that’s laying around because Barbie’s a lazy-ass, gets picked up by the Baby Jesus and throws it at that Squealing James, and Horrible Mary Kay. Then some drag queen steals Dorothy’s smellies in Grand Rapids, MN., drives to Kansas and then converts some GOP freaks to become “lib-rul”. I get three merit badges; “Be-yotch”, “Swish” and one for being “Fabulous”. And I get three gold stars for not having sex with the freak that’s sunbathing on the roof in The Netherlands. And on Christmas Eve, the Baby Jesus crawled out of his manger like it was Ground Hog Day, pointed a fat little finger at me and said; “Who in the fuck are you?!?”

I swear this is a true story.