Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Lesbian’s Father Running for President of the United States (His Dirty Little Secret)

Maya Keyes probably wouldn’t appreciate that title so much. After all, it was her father on Feb 4, 2005, who kicked her into the streets without any money and no place to live after she came out of the closet as a lesbian. Err…, I meant “liberal queer lesbian“. Two weeks later on Valentines Day, Maya Marcel-Keyes stood in front of GLBT citizens in Annapolis, MD at a “Equality Maryland” rally and said:

“Things just came to a head. Liberal queer plus conservative Republican just doesn’t mesh well,” she said. “That was making my life a little bit turbulent.”

Yes, the picture you’re looking at is Maya who was homeless and penniless only two weeks earlier.

Her father, a Republican (of course), wouldn’t have anything to do with her and said the day before earlier:

“My daughter is an adult, and she is responsible for her own actions. What she chooses to do has nothing to do with my work or political activities.”

In 2004, while on the campaign trail competing for a US Senate seat in Illinois, Alan Keys was interviewed on the radio where he greedily discussed his hatred for homosexuality. Of Mary Cheney, the Vice President’s daughter who is a lesbian, Keyes called her a “selfish hedonist”. He went on with:

Then, without having been asked anything about his own family, [Keyes] volunteered that “if my daughter were a lesbian, I’d look at her and say, ‘That is a relationship that is based on selfish hedonism.’ I would also tell my daughter that it’s a sin and she needs to pray to the Lord God to help her deal with that sin.”

Maya’s coming out shouldn’t have been a surprise to her parents Alan and Jocelyn. They’d found gay newspapers under her bed during her teen years and they berated her about homosexuality. Keyes’ conversation on the radio was all a lie. He already knew his daughter was a lesbian!

Her parents have known that Maya is a lesbian since they found a copy of the Washington Blade, the gay weekly, in her room and confronted her at the end of high school (she went to Oakcrest School for Girls, a Catholic school in McLean run by the church’s highly devout Opus Dei movement.) Ever since, Maya says, her parents have told her that her sexuality is wrong and sinful.

“As long as I was quiet about being gay or my politics, we got along,” she says. “Then I went to the Counterinaugural,” last month’s protests in Washington against President Bush. “My father didn’t like that.”

If you’re really interested in Alan Keyes’ hatred view towards homosexuality, you can explore his “logic” on “Why homosexual couples adopting a child leads towards incest” by watching this:

(It’s truly stunning to see Arrogance, Stupidity and Idiocy all combined inside a suit and tie wrapper.)

Alan Keyes, the stalwart of the Republican Party and the pride of conservative American family values, made an appearance at the GOP Debates in December 2007. Having a podium of his own, it left everybody curious as to why he was even up there! Was he running? Was he serious about running?

The GOP always has made room for Hatred! There’s no such thing as “too much homophobia”! Of course Alan Keyes is running for president, Silly! Only this time, he’ll have to do it without Maya’s help.

• Take notice of the cartoon of Bride and Bride getting married on his “official website”.
• Now take notice of the first bullet line on his website? It’s an attack on Mitt Romney’s alleged direct involvement with gay marriage in Massachusetts.
• Now the first sentence in the piece quotes Keyes by saying:

“Mitt Romney is single-handedly responsible for instituting same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.”

Using the same logic, Keyes goes on to explain his own stupidity:

“Most people are unaware of the way Massachusetts came to adopt same-sex marriage,” the former Reagan administration diplomat said. “They think the state’s Supreme Judicial Court forced it to happen. That’s incorrect.”

Said Keyes, “The court merely issued an opinion stating that, in its view, the existing marriage law was unconstitutional because it failed to allow persons of the same sex to marry. The court then gave the legislature 180 days to ‘take such action as it may deem appropriate in light of this opinion’ — implicitly telling lawmakers to come up with a new marriage statute.”

Obviously Willard Romney didn’t do enough during that 180-day window of time to fully satisfy the Very Honorable and extraordinarily Pompous Alan Keyes. Keyes completes his stupidity with this comment:

“This action by Mitt Romney is among the most socially-damaging actions by a chief executive in our nation’s history. Because of its far-reaching implications for the future of the traditional family, it threatens to destroy our entire moral and cultural fabric more than any other executive action I can think of.”

And here all these years, I thought it was bad grammar to end a sentence with a preposition.

That Gay Marriage in Massachusetts thing happened in May of 2004. And ya know… I don’t really see it destroying our entire moral and cultural fabric!!! What moral and cultural fabric has been destroyed after four and a half years’ time? If anybody can leave a comment with some ideas on what moral fabric has been destroyed as a direct result of gay marriage, I would certainly appreciate the heads up on that!!!

What do I admire the most about Alan Keyes? It’s the fact that on his MySpace account, he lists himself as a “Proud Parent” in the bio-section. You just can’t get hypocrisy any better than that.

I’m blaming Mark Karlin, Editor and Publisher of BuzzFlash.com for this story. It was his fault that I had to do all this work to write this story. Meanwhile, click on my picture for a cool little campaign song for Alan Keyes and his bid for President of the United States.