Wikie says: “Swiftboating is American political jargon for an ad hominem attack against a public figure, coordinated by an independent or pseudo-independent group, usually resulting in a benefit to an established political force.”
It’s origins from the John Kerry race with the “Swift Vets and POWs for Truth”, a made-up organization with Tom DeLay’s fingerprints all over it. The ads were successful, but it took American politics to a whole new low. Other low points for the Republican party was “push polls” and robo-calls, but that’s an entirely different blog item.
Then, the Republican party sunk to other forms of low-level politics with the Jerry Kilgore (R-incumbant) and Tim Kain (D-challenger) in Virginia. Jerry puts up an ad on television of a grieving father complaining that his son and daughter-in-law were murdered and Tim Kain “volunteered” to defend the murderer.
Swiftboating has become a Republican necessity in order to keep them selves in power. Jim Web for Senate from Virginia, Patrick Murphy in Pennsylvania, Congressman Jack Murtha of Pennsylvania, there are tons of them, aren’t there?! All of them are sleazy, under-handed and all of them have become refined in the depths of their sleaziness to the point where we enter a small little suburban town north of Minneapolis/St Paul about thirty miles called Forest Lake. Beautiful town actually, as well as it’s namesake which is big and surrounded by beautiful homes and boat marinas. And home to the worst kind of swiftboating imagineable.
Now, before we go on, there are three things you can do: 1.) go ahead and read the article (if you can understand all of the characters and players), 2.) you can skip the three page read and have faith that I know what I’m talking about or 3.) you can click the “back button” on you web browser and gawk at something else.
A note to warn you about reading the St Paul Pioneer Press. They are one of those newspapers who like to get your email address so they can spam you. You’re only allowed one “Look-See” If you go back a page and then come back to this story, you’ll have to go through their rediculously rigid snoopy questionaires before you can look at it again. So, feel free to help yourself to mine that I did just so I could look at the story.
Email address: email@example.com
The password: sureenough!
The best I can do to describe this debacle of a story is to give you the down and dirty. But, trust me…the best part of the story is of course, at the ending.
Stev Stegner (Yes, his name is “Stev”, not “steve”) is a business man, a father, a Christian, had a vasectomy in 1971 and ran for the office of Mayor to the fine city of Forest Lake. For those of you who need a geography lesson on Forest Lake, Minnesota, it’s a suburb town north of the Twin Cities about thrity miles out.
Huh?! Did you say “vasectomy”?
Of course I did silly! Because he just recently impregnated a teen aged girl!! If you believe anything of this story, that’s the part you shouldn’t.
So here we go. Let me try to sort this story out.
Stegner gets a call from a woman (who’s name apparently doesn’t exist anywhere on any record in the State of Minnesota or its Capitol), for a complaint about her son, (Jewish) and religious pursecution in the public school. Stegner, who’s only a candidate for the position of Mayor, agrees to meet the woman at a restauarant in Minneapolis called “The Holy Land”. Stegner, made his smartest move by taking along a buddy with him. I beleive that if he had shown up alone, this story would have all kinds of horrifying clap-trap on it and the Republican Party would be there with stenopads in hand taking good notes.
A woman in a burka (as in”it’s a costume”, not as in “a form of ethnic clothing”) approached Stegner and his buddy and said the Jewish woman who made the complaint couldn’t make it. Her little boy was sick.
The results of that conversation resulted in the beginning of the swiftboating of our friend. Soon, there were rumors spreading all over town stating that Mr. Stegner had an affair with a “Middle Eastern teenaged girl” and she was now pregnant. Furthermore, Mr. Stegner was in cahoots with Zacharias Moussaoui. Finally, the evidence that was produced to support these
lies rumors was a few fuzzy and amateuristic photos claimed to have been taken by FBI agents. Oh, and the photos were pictures of Mr. Stegner and his buddy at The Holy Land restaurant, of course. (My guess is that Jewish lady who called to complain about the harassment bestowed upon her kid was having a hard time seeing through that camera lense with that burka over her head.)
The snapshots were hazy and amateurish. But the woman told Winnick they were secret government surveillance photos and claimed the deli was once the hangout of Zacarias Moussaoui, the reputed “20th hijacker” in the Sept. 11 attacks who had attended an Eagan flight school before being arrested by the FBI.
You think it’s messy enough for you?
Get real… It get’s so much better.
Enter the professionals! Ironically, a “public relations” professionals showed up to conduct an interview with these Middle Eastern teenagers to get to the bottom of these rumors.
On Oct. 26, Forest Lake public relations professional Anne R. Gabriel phoned the newspaper. She had heard the rumors and agreed to try to help reporters find people who could confirm them.
Now pray tell; who asked Ms. Gabriel to get involved with this story? Nobody knows, she apparently felt that getting the story straight and accurate was far more important than reporting the incident to the police for “raping of a minor”, or “sex with a minor” or anything else for that matter.
But, she’s a “professional”, and who is the St Paul Pioneer Press to question a professional?! They’re a newspaper, not some goof-ball that should ask questions for Heaven’s sake!
Okay..I’m sorry. I’ve digressed. My bad. I’m just so excited to get to the end of this story because you’re never going to stop laughing your tiny little butts off.
Ms. Gabriel, if that’s her true name, interviews a couple of girls, both of whom were wearing burkas, and she comes back with a bit of a head-scratcher.
They sometimes acted as if they couldn’t understand a simply expressed English sentence — yet at times used relatively sophisticated English grammar and high-level vocabulary such as “escalating.”
Now is that a riot and a half?! I would love to find Ms. Gabriel and ask her;
- 1.) What kind of accent did these two girls have? Was it like; “Oh yah…you betcha! And the one of dem was kinda funny lookin’, you know?!” Or was it more of a high-pitched yell that was like ‘LALALALALALALA’!
- 2.) Is your name “Gabriel”, a common Jewish name, have any connection to being the same person who made the initial phone cal; Ms. Sara Goldberg a.k.a.
Ms. Rebecca Zollingeror Ms. Andy Meyer?
Do you think it could get any worse?
Of course it can, Silly!
There’s the part with the woman who’s in a wheelchair, Andy Meyer, who appears to be at the very heart and soul of this story. But, of course we’ll never know…Because the St Paul Pioneer Press is a piece of crap of a newspaper who doesn’t bother with asking questions of anybody. Ms. Meyer first appears in the story wheeling herself into Ben Winnick’s Supply Store ready to begin spinning the gossip about Mr. Stegner.
In late September or early October, a blond woman in a wheelchair came into Winnick Supply Inc. in Forest Lake, said owner Ben Winnick. He recognized her from around the city but did not know her name. She identified herself as a Messianic Jew and told Winnick, who is Jewish, that Stegner was a Muslim who read the Quran in a Twin Cities mosque.
What a Sweetheart! She’s a “Messianic Jew” who’s going to go out on a rabid racists rant and she’s going to start with all of the Jewish people in her community! Let’s give her an applause as well as all of her other “Jews for Jesus” friends!
When Ms. Gabriel shows up to interview the two Middle Eastern girls, who appears out of now where carrying “fuzzy photography”? Ms. Meyer of course, in her wheelchair and her trusty Polaroids. Ms. Meyer, so horrorfied by the fact that Mr. Stegner might be a Middle Easterner, shows Ms. Gabriel the pictures of him sitting in the restaurant with his buddy. (Excellent evidence, wouldn’t you say?!)
Now here’s the funniest sentance in the entire piece. I swear to God, Allah, Budda and Vishnu, you’ll spill your guts laughing:
Earlier, however, Meyer said she was hired only to interpret for the girls — in Aramaic — and agreed to hold the interview in her apartment. “I have no idea who they are,” she said. “Anne Gabriel and (Zollinger) asked me to get involved.”
The emphasis is mine of course. So, exactly what do you see in this picture that doesn’t seem to quit fit?
Could it be that Ms. Meyer speaks a dead-language? Let’s remember something about the Aramaic language: Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of Christ” was spoken in Aramaic with an English subtext. He hired William Fulco to reconstruct the dialect, the accents and the translation.
Or, perhaps even more interesting; the two Middle Eastern girls speak a language that’s 2,000 years old which coincidentally is the language spoken by Jesus Christ? They don’t speak Farsi, they don’t speak Persian, and they don’t speak Arabic. No, they speak Aramaic!
Or perhaps the picture that doesn’t seem to quit fit is the fact that Ms. Meyer, if that is her real name outside of her favorite burka, is the one willing to exploit a couple of teenaged girls for the sake of keeping a man she thinks is of Arabic descent because of the color of his skin?
Or perhaps she’s outright lying her ass off with that last sentance “I have no idea who they are,” she said. “Anne Gabriel and (Zollinger) asked me to get involved.”. Give me a break! Andy Meyer; you should be ashamed of yourself. You were the first to show up at Winnick’s Supply to begin the gossip, you then “magically appeared” at the interview with the two girls clad in burkas and the “professional”. At that meeting, you whipped our your Polaroids you took of Mr. Stegner at the Holy Land store! You also had all of the detailed information on the whereabouts of the teenaged girls. And then you… Bah! You liar!!
Well we ever know? Of course not! Because the Pioneer Press is such a crap of a newspaper who’s hacked this story from out of their own butts, are too pathetic to publish anything worth the paper it’s printed on. There isn’t a newspaper within five hundred miles who’ll touch this story because it has “GOP” written all over it.
We’ve got an honest to goodness GOP sex-scandal, another GOP exploiting under-aged teens, Trent Lott style “GOP racism”, a George W Bush version of “GOP lies”, a couple of Jews for Jesus, and we’ve just gotta get a better newspaper in our State’s Capitol City. I know, I know…The word “Republican” and the acronym “GOP” doesn’t appear anywhere in the piece. Neither the incumbant nor Mr. Stegner had any party affiliation. But, c’mon…does this simply reak of Republican bull-crap!?
By the way, while we’re discussing this electoral race in particular. Mr. Stegner did win the race for the Mayor of Forest Lake, Minnesota. And he won it handidly at 54.9%! .
If you read this story about eighty times, you will come to the same conclusions, at least I think you will. Andy Meyer is the primary culprit. She’s had at least one accomplice in her homophobic and racist ruse to swiftboat Mr. Stegner, and I have a very high suspicion that Ms. Gabriel was in on it too. (Face it – she’s a “public relations professional”, and what that has to do with any kind of interviewing teenaged girls who’ve been raped by a 42 year old Middle Eastern man, nobody knows.) And finally, the article was researched and written by a complete dolt who may have been lobotomized as a child.
For the record, Andy Meyer did appear at a city counsel meeting on April 20, 2006. The Human Rights Commission of the City of Forest Lake met to discuss the problem of Racism in the Forest Lake Public School system. She also appeared at the same Comission’s meeting on June 15th where it appears one of the City Counsel Members shared Ms. Meyer’s complaint with the rest of the city counsel members. Her second appearance, she produced the argument where she’s blackmailing the schools in North Branch with the option of instructing all of their faculty members on religious freedom, or she was going to the Human Rights Offices in downtown St Paul. (North Branch is a small town a few miles away from Forest Lake.) Her third appearance is in October where she’s filed a complaint about flooding in her street…big deal.
I printed the newspaper article out to an Acrobat Reader. If you want to leave a comment with a request for a copy of the PDF, I would refuse the request immediately and tell you to contact the St Paul Pioneer Press. (j/k)
I think you for your time.
The Fruit Fly