Found In The Ditch

ditch trashMark Cherry has new plans for Desperate Housewives

Openly gay Mark Cherry, creator and producer of the wildly popular television show “Desperate Housewives” has a revolutionary new idea for his show: Add a desperate gay househusband!

Marc Cherry, (right with Teri Hatcher), creator of Desperate Housewivesmark cherry terry hatcher revealed during the ABC Press Tour that Wisteria Lane will become home to its first gay couple in season 4. “We’re going to have the first male desperate housewives,” said Cherry. “They will move into the old Applewhite house and one of the gay men will just have a fractious, hateful relationship with Teri Hatcher. We just started writing the episodes so I probably won’t start casting for another few weeks.”

Will the lucky gay couple have their Massachusetts wedding license framed on the wall as the practice of most legally wed Gay/Lez couples?

Will all of the heterosexual couples’ marriage fall apart as guaranteed by the religiously insane? Oh wait…that’s already happened in seasons 1, 2 and 3, long before the Queers showed up!

It should be a blast to see. I can only hope the gay couple will be protrayed as professional gay people. Because if one of them is a “female impersonator” so some dumb crap like that, I ain’t watching it.

Fred (Fredrick of Hollywood) Thompson’s numbers are extremely low

The Republican Party, extremely disappointed with their current gaggle of Presidential hopeful contenders, have secretly habored a personal hope in Fred Thompson. Thompson however, continues to ride the fence on whether he really wants to run for the Presidency or not. And he seems to have taken a beating with his money laundering raising.

The amount Thompson raised for his committeeSimpsons to “test the waters” of a presidential bid lags the original $5 million goal backers set for June, the first month in which he set out to raise money.

Thompson did, however, collect more than several other Republicans did in their initial fundraising months as prospective candidates. Still, Thompson’s take doesn’t even compare to the stunning $6.5 million haul that Mitt Romney collected on a single day in January as he was exploring a bid.

Let’s recall that Mitt Romney, the GOP’s Golden Boy, has funding problems of his own and has been keeping his campaign floating with his own money.

Thompson apparently doesn’t seem to have enough of his own cash to chip into his campaign otherwise none of us would be seeing these kinds of headlines. Therefore, it’s safe to assume that he wasn’t paid that much when he served as a lobbyist for an abortion rights group. Thompson’s candidacy presents other problems as well: When he announces, all of the Law and Order episodes will have to be pulled off the air, including all of those that are currently in syndication. This move also has an effect on all of those fellow cast members including camera crews, make-up artists, casting directors and walk-on actors who will loose royalties for the more recent episodes.

Minnesota GOP Fund Raising Woes

Dunce…And while we’re talking about the financial woes of the GOP, it seems local statewide GOP teams have their own financial problems.

On another note, [ed.] said he got a call from GOP fundraisers for the special election and he refused to give any money because he did not trust the financial stewardship of the state party. And also because the caller was an asshole, he said.

Minnesota’s GOP has problems internally anyway. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (a.k.a. Bagdad Bachmann) has turned out to be even more bat-shit insane than the voters of MN Cong Dist 6 originally Bagdad Mall of Americarealized. Think Progress has a great piece on Congreswoman Bachman’s comparison to visiting Bagdad, Iraq to a trip to Mall of America in Minneapolis.

Eight-term Representative Mark Olson from Big Lake, MN has been dumped by the GOP Caucus after a jury cleared him of battery, but guilty for terrorizing his wife. While the trial was going on, it was revealed that this “GOP American Family Values” man would beat the shit out of his wife with a Holy Bible. In turn, she would defend herself by using her own HolyLesbian Patty Bible and beat him with it. Don’t believe me? Check out the audio of his confession…

The best part of this story is that Representative Mark Olson is extremely anti-gay marriage. You can check out a YouTube of him bitching in the Minnesota House yelling about his religious views about gays getting married.

Are you still interested in giving your money to these Minnesota GOP political-hacks?!?

US Senator Ted Stevens’ home raided: Underwear, lubes and Internets discovered

This needs no introduction because the story speaks for itselfAshamed Blog

The longest-serving Republican in U.S Senate history, who is known for delivering billions of federal dollars to his home state, Stevens in a statement said: “My attorneys were advised this morning that federal agents wished to search my home in Girdwood in connection with an ongoing investigation.

“I continue to believe this investigation should proceed to its conclusion without any appearance that I have attempted to influence the outcome,” it said.

Old FruitfliesHas anybody set up a webpage that keeps count of all of these GOP Senators and Congressman who’s lives are being invaded by FBI agents? Oh well – who cares about this one. Let him rot with the salmon spawn up river.

Have you heard about his son Ben Stevens? He’s an Alaskan state senator and he’s also under investigation for all kinds of mischief. It’s all of that “family values” that gets me warm and fuzzy on the inside, you know?!

Scary Mary (Poppins) re-cut trailerMe

Andrew Sullivan found the most horrifying film on the YouTube to date. It’s a remake of Mary Poppins, only four times the scare. I was so terrified, I was peeing in my trash lid full of rotten fruit and I screamed so hard, I scared the neighboring maggots back to pupa-stage.

Found in the Ditch

Conservative bloggers sounding pathetic

LipsJohn Hindraker’s blog, The Powerline, carries a piece from the Washington Times talking about some poll that all of his conservative readers can find solace with. What?! The Washington Times?!? What’s that?!Oh yeah, the “newspaper” that’s really a propaganda outlet for the bat-shit crazy religious lunatic Sun Myong Moon, a.k.a. “The Moonies sugar-daddy”.

The Rasmusson poll the Washington Times lists also pushes notes that “conservatives” are still popular in this country and…wait a minute. What?! Did Hindraker and the Washington Times just print that Rasmussen poll?!?

Hindraker’s blog writes:

Most Republicans have been pretty confident that last year’s election wasn’t a repudiation of conservatism. This is borne out by the fact that “conservative” outpolls “liberal” by 32% to 20%. In some polls over the years, of course, the disparity has been even wider. But “progressive” scored 35%, which can only mean that many Americans haven’t figured out yet that “progressive” means “even more liberal than they used to be.” No doubt some still associate it with Teddy Roosevelt.

“Moderate” polled only 29%, which suggests that most Americans want a Presidential candidate to stand for something, as long as it isn’t liberalism.

Did you see those numbers too?!? With Gonazelez lying in front of Congress, Bush lying to the American people and CheneyPostal Anthrax lying to everybody…I simply can’t believe anything a conservative writes any more. So I had to scamper over to the Washington Times and read those numbers for myself.

Protected with a Hazmat suit, a canary in a birdcage and a St Bernard, I clicked on the Washington Times link and read:

The survey revealed that 44 percent of the respondents rated the phrase “like Reagan” positively, followed by “progressive,” favored by 35 percent, “conservative” (32 percent), “moderate” (29 percent) and at the bottom, “liberal” (20 percent).

The rest of the article prattles away like a 3rd grader’s book report that cheated and the Rasmusson report isn’t credited with a link. But let’s see if we understand what this Rasmussen poll is saying..Casio

  • Progressive – polls have 35%
  • Conservative – polls have a 32%
  • Moderate – polls have a 29%
  • …and a liberal have a poll at 20%

So if I added those poll numbers; Progressive + Moderate + Liberal, I get 84%. Actually, the “Conservative” number sounds pretty high at 32% and with Bush’s approval numbers down at 26% who is the current patron saint of “Conservatives”… Yeah – that 32% is a pretty high number.

Don’t believe anything a conservative tells you and if they’re quoting a Rasmussen poll and they fail to do their homework and credit their research – do it yourself. The poll the Washington Times and Hindraker talks about is even worse for the Republican party than they want you to notice. Since neither bothered to credit the actual poll, I had to find it myself.

Clinton WinceTheir pathetic “Reagan-esque” poll from Rasmussen comes from one taken from the Democratic CNN/YouTube debates where Senator Hillary Clinton clarifies that the word “liberal” has been dragged through the mud to mean something bad and that she defines herself as a “progressive”. The Rasmussen folks decided to do a poll on the subject and the word “conservative” does not do well in the poll at all whatsoever.

Said the Rasmussen poll:

For some, it may seem strange to distinguish between a candidate who is like Reagan and a candidate who is politically conservative. But, that gap has arisen because the definition of conservative has been altered by the more recent GOP leadership in Congress and the White House. Also, of course, being compared to Reagan ascribes some personal characteristics that cannot be captured in an ideological label.mowhawk

There are, of course, huge partisan differences for each of these terms. Among Democrats, 32% consider the description liberal as positive. That number jumps to 42% for the description of a candidate as progressive. Among Republicans, just 7% say the term liberal is a positive description, but that number jumps to 26% for the term progressive.

Hindraker would do well and read the Pundit’s column over at The Hill. Brent Budowsky has a piece that’s titled: Neoconservativism is Dead.

Hindraker, the Washington Times, the White House and even theMe Republican presidential candidates can’t find any redeeming qualities with their Neocon agenda that’s going to sell to the American public anymore. They’re a lost species that the planet will happily ignore no matter how pathetic they sound.

John Edwards chides Clinton and Obama for their feud

Presidential hopeful and former US Senator John Edwards (D-NC) is apparently being jealous about the media attention going on between competitors Senators Barak Obama (D-IL) and Hillary Clinton (D-NY).

The Democratic Underground is reporting that Senator Edwards is…

…saying the spat was distracting Democrats from tackling real problems.

jealousSenator Edwards sounds a little jealous here. Wasn’t it all about him and Hillary Clinton just a few days ago who got caught ca-noodling between each other on how they haven’t kicked off other “lesser” valid candidates in this race? Clinton meanwhile, seems to be doing very well in keeping herself in the middle of everything “Democrat” these days regardless if it’s Barak or John.

What problems is he referring too, anyway?

Could it be that “problem” he has on the issue of gay marriage?

Maybe it’s that “problem” he hasn’t notice in the fact that gay couples pay more in taxes than their heterosexual neighbors.

Although it could be that “problem” he hasn’t paid any attention to when gay couples are separated in hospital rooms and the partner is denied access to his/her lover when going through dangerous surgeries.

It might be that “problem” that happens when one person in a same sex relationship dies and their family kicks the other partner out immediately and destroys all of their possessions.

I’m not too sure, but perhaps these Democratic “problems”Me Senator Edwards is talking about when the courts remove children from their parents because he or she is gay.

I don’t really know what he’s talking about. Do you?! kicks out the GOP

mexican fruit fliesIn a rather disturbing turn of events, it’s being investigated that MySpace, a popular social network for young people on the Internet, has removed some 29,000 personal profiles belonging to sexual predators, mostly belonging to the Republican party.

You may recall that in January 2006, the Bush Administration demanded that a federal judge order Google and CNET News service to turn over their search engine records in an effort to stop sexual predators and Internet-child porn rings. And now it would appear that the large Internet social groups have begun cleaning up their own computer networks by removing known sexual predators starting with the Republican Party.

In the past two weeks alone, the Republican Party has been hit hard by breaking the very Family Values Laws they espouse to hold dearest to their hearts and minds of their families. Most noteably was “Diaper-David” Vitter, Republican Senator of Louisiana who was recently fingered as one who had the Washington DC Madam on the speed-dial of his phone.

Other noteables worth mentioning in the past few weeks?

  1. Bob Allen was proposing a draconian Sexual Predator Elimination Act– which would send sexual predators to prison for life– he was prowling public toilets and asking men if he could pay them to perform fellatio on them.
  2. North Carolina Rep. David Almond sexually assaulted a legislative aide in the state Capitol and was forced to resign by his fellow Republicans when the cover-up didn’t work.
  3. NYC’s only elected Republicans, Queens City Councilman Dennis Gallagher, was accused by a woman he picked up in a bar of raping her.

BlogActive LeagueThe Republican’s newest edition of sexual predators?

This morning’s Cleveland Plain Dealer reported that the former head of the Michigan Federation of Young Republicans raped a college student at the national Young Republicans convention in Cleveland’s Warehouse District. …Michael Flory wanted to be a Republican player. So he played like the big shot respected, admired Republicans.

This man is now an attorney who has spent a great deal of time defending his good name in the courts, but an even greater amount of time smearing the good name of the victim that he raped! During the trial-hearing:

“People were using every opportunity to try to trash her, on Web sites or whatever,” the prosecutor said. “He’s been running around telling everybody what a piece of trash she is, so she was very happy to see him plead guilty.”

Now has begun to clean it up for their audiences. After dealing with a great deal of pressure from the public, the MySpace administration staff has finally said “No more!” to Republican sexual perverts.

Thousands and thousands of Republican sex offenders and other perps have been kicked off MySpace according to the Christian Post. MySpace refuses to confirm or deny that Mitch McConnell (R-KY), Larry Craig (R-ID), Bob Allen (R-FL), Mark Foley (R-FL), David Almond (R-NC), Ed Schrock (R-VA), James McCrery (R-LA), Alex Arshinkoff (R-OH), Lindsey Graham (R-SC), John Barrasso (R-WY), Patrick McHenry (R-NC), David “Diapers” Vitter (R-LA), Dennis Gallagher (R-NY), Michael Flory (R-MI), Ted Klaudt (R-SD), or dozens of other known GOP sexual predators were among the people whose pages were taken down.

Of course, there’s been nothing said about any sexualMe impropriety of any Democrat, Liberal or Progressive thus far., young people and their parents continue to enjoy an outstanding relationship. Parents are thrilled by the fact that they no longer fear another Republican sexual predator on MySpace.

To keep informed of what new Republican sexual predators have been arrested or charged, please visit or check out my good buddy Michael Rogers over at
Fresh FruitMy own personal offering of fresh fruit to my friends over at Downwithtyranny for their insatiable appetite to get out the truth. You Dudes and Dudettes rawk.

Found in an alley

alleywalkDoing the Lord’s work

Another man found doing the “Lord’s work” by hiring a prostitute and offering to pay for her services by writing a check. At seventy-four and obviously armed with a fresh bottle of Viagra, the President of the Christian Action League is arrested for solisiting the services of a prostitute.

Privette, 74, was charged with six counts of misdemeanor aiding and abetting prostitution by renting a hotel room and paying for sexual acts, according to State Bureau of Investigation Agent Kevin Canty. Tiffany Denise Summers, 32, of Salisbury, was charged with six counts of misdemeanor prostitution, Canty said.

Yes, it’s true! Another Republican discovered for his “strong American values” and his core belief that God defined marriage between one man and one prostitute wife.

For over three decades, Privette has been one of the best known and most outrageous spokesmen for “family values” and Christian extreme right politics in North Carolina. In the 1970s, he was serving as minister at the North Kannapolis Baptist Church when he joined the tide of evangelicals entering politics that included the Moral Majority and Christian Coalition. He served in the N.C. Legislature from 1984 to 1992, and has been a member of the board of commissioners in Cabarrus County since 1998.

My favorite comment in this piece is about half way down in the piece:


I noticed that his organization didn’t have this story up on their web site, so I sent them the link and a reminder that they neglected to include this important news about the wonderful work they’re doing for the lord.

Just want to help out where I can, ya know?

DailyKos beat up by Bill O’Reilly’s Army of the Idiotic

Bill O’Reilly, who enlightened all of his viewers on the horrors full of hate-speech that goes on at the DailyKos has finally won the battle. The writers at the DailyKos have throw in the white flag and have been begging and pleading for BillO’s mercy and everlasting benevolence.

Please, Bill O’Reilly, spare us from your savage and inexplicable rage. We can’t take any more of it. Being defended by Keith Olbermann… being roundly and sternly publicized by Stephen Colbert… it’s all too much. The extra traffic, the publicity, the footage of your narcissistic tantrums… the subsequent exposure of hate speech and death threats on your pay-to-post blog. How can any liberal website withstand such a well-planned assault?

It would appear that BillO can hang three gold stars around the name plate on his dressing room. It’s glaringly obviousBarbara Cubin those liberals at the DailyKos have been truly defeated.

Their plea for mercy finishes tragically by sayin:

So please, Bill, refrain from mentioning us on your programs. Please do not berate us on theradio, or on your television show, or in the loofah aisle of whatever store one purchases such things. What would be really, really too much to bear is if you tattooed the name of our website on your broad, pale forehead as reminder to everyone about how evil we are. Please, please don’t do that. Surely, somewhere in your heart, you still have within you the jagged remnants of mercy.

Stephen Colbert applauds BillO’s war on the DailyKos and compliments the Loofa King for a job well done.

Senator Vitter Inists on an improved image for the GOP

Hooker-lover, Senator David Vitter (R-LA) attended a power-lunch for prominent GOP’ers in Washington today. Just seven days after pleading forgiveness for admitting his love for the “Ladies of the Evening”, he got up again and addressed his colleagues.

He spoke bravely on the subject of the need to improve theMe GOP “image” and how they need to rebrand themselves as the “fiscally responsible party”. Rumors have it that there was a great deal of vomiting during the speech while others were mysteriously coughing into their fists and uttering a noise that resembled something like “b*sh*t”.

GOP Fundraiser: Machine-Gun Shoot

The Democrats have finally gone too far in their constant criticizm of their friends across the aisle. And, I think it really should stop.

Rambo KittyIn Manchester, New Hampshire, the city GOP committee chair Jerry Thibideau has hatched an ingenious idea to raise funds by holding a “Machine Gun Shoot”. He’ll encourage his fellow GOP members to bring their Uzis and their AK-47’s for a little bit fun shooting at each other targets.

The Democrats, typical stick-in-the-mud old goats they tend to be, have decided that this is a bad idea.

The concept prompted shudders across the political aisle. Chris Pappas, the city Democratic party chairman, called the event “not just in poor taste; it is downright offensive.”

Of course, I think the opposite. I think that there couldn’t beRepublican Elephant anything more fantastic than a bunch of GOP assholes getting together fully loaded with automatic weapons and get together. …. Give them some beer… Give them more beer. Give them as much beer as they want!

And then…. LOCK-N-LOAD!!!!

Thibideau is serious too, which is even better news! He’s running around inviting every GOP asshole he can find! Check it out:

Each of the Republican Presidential candidates was invited, Thibodeau said, but all declined, saying they’ll be busyGiuliani In Drag preparing for the following weekend’s much-ballyhooed straw poll in Ames, Iowa.

“I really tried to get Rudy Giuliani there,” Thibodeau said. “Because I’ll tell you, this is a guy that can’t relax.”

Yeah really… Get Rudy Guiliani in there too.

C’mon Rudy! Grab a few cold beers and get in there for some fast action with an AR-15….

C’mon you wossie!!

Dead-Eye DickAnd Thibideau shouldn’t limit himself with just Rudy Guiliani either. That guy should be inviting other GOP assholes like Glen Beck, and Ann Coulter… Shoot! You could even invite Dick Cheney too!!

These Democrats….it’s a real shame but they just don’t know when to sit back, shut up and watch the fun!!!