While playing co-host to a birthday party, I had a chance to sit and visit with my biggest Fruit Fly Fans. “Oh Golly!” they said. “We read The Fruit Fly everyday! Every morning, I have my Captain Crunch cereal and my Fruit Fly news!” It truly was a refreshing moment in the short-lfe of the Fabulous Fruit Fry.
And so it was recommended that I conduct a re-hash of sugary sweet rotting fruit juices that are currently going on over in the Jesus-Centered political party called The Geee-Oh-Peee. It’s the Party of Lincoln! Jesus prefers this party over those sleazy-no-good-Democrats-with-no- redeeming-qualities-whatsoever.
Since Americans seem to have amnesia, it might be important to keep ourselves updated on exactly what’s going on with these “patriotic” and “Old Fashioned Family Valued” politicians. Hell, I can’t even remember if that skinny blond girl is still in jail or not. (….You know who I’m talking about. The girl who’s grand-daddy was the Hilton hotel tycoon! What was her name again?)
The nearest state legislative district to his own is Titusville, FL. It’s here where the Florida co-chairman of the John McCain Presidential campaign hangs out in the local city park and…
In an arrest affidavit, (Officer) Kavanaugh said he had washed his hands and, finding the sink’s paper-towel dispenser empty, had walked into a stall for the disabled to dry his hands. Allen first peeked over the door and then stepped inside, he said.
Allen proposed the two go across a nearby bridge because “it’s quiet over there” and he would perform a sex act on the officer for $20, the affidavit said. They walked to Allen’s car, where the officer identified himself and arrested Allen.
What did this bastion of Family Values say about this arrest report a couple days later? He blamed the black citizens who were in the area.
I certainly wasn’t there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn’t there to exchange money for it,” said Allen, R-Merritt Island, who was arrested on charges of soliciting prostitution.
“This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he “was about to be a statistic” and would have said anything just to get away.
Yes, black men always have a twenty-dollar bill ready for a white guy’s watering mouth. It’s the new stereotype. All black men like to step out on their bitches and their ho’s and get them some white-man oral fix once in a while. And if the white guy isn’t willing, they’ll make him “a statistic”. It’s in all of the papers…Don’t you read?!?!?
white good people of Florida can rest assured: The needs of its black citizens are well serviced represented.
Let it be noted: Crack whores get more money for a blow-job under that very same “quiet bridge”.
Glenn Murphy: Clark County GOP Chair
Officially, this one isn’t a politician. So let’s make sure that nobody is going to make this a “Clinton Did It” story. But it begs the question: “What’s worse than a GOP running the country? …Waking up to see your fiddle-faddle firmly in the mouth of the National Chair of the Young Republican National Federation.”
The “victim” here, obviously wasn’t not please with this unwarranted penile inspection, apparently went over to Murphy’s house later and smashed Murphy’s cell-phone. The horrified Young Republican was worried this pervert took pictures during the “performance” of the dirty-deed (don’t dirt cheap). Alex Blaze at Bilerico Project does an outstanding job and explaining this unbelievable story.
According to the police report, the victim and Murphy were at the victim’s sister’s house for a big young Republican bash. The two got totally wasted, and the sister told them to stay at her place and sleep it off in some bunk beds at her place. Well, the victim woke up to Murphy sucking him off while fondling him, asked him what he was doing, but he kept on going, and the victim pushed him away and left.
Over the next few days Murphy called the victim and asked him not to tell anyone. The victim met up with Murphy at his Utica, Indiana, home at Murphy’s request where he smashed Murphy’s cell phone in case any pics were taken, even though Murphy said none were. Then Murphy attorney, Larry Wilder, paid a visit to the Young Republican victim and his mother’s house, not to quiet them down, of course, but to ask what he “wanted in order to resolve this situation.”
The best part of this is, like most stories, the back-story. The part of the story you have to dig around and find the pun or the absurdity. In this case, you have a 33 year old Clark County GOP chair in an oral-sex scandal with a very freaked out and very intoxicated 22 year old Republican. Just three weeks earlier, Glenn Murphy said after being sworn Chair of the Young Republican National Federation:
I will essentially be the mouthpiece and effective leader for the tens of thousands of Young Republicans, 18 to 40, across the country,” said Murphy.
The emphasis is mine, of course.
Oops. He certainly is a mouthpiece!
Did I fail to mention that Glenn Murphy was sworn at the national chair of the YRNF in Florida? He was elected 440-0 and sworn in by none other than Florida’s governor Charlie Crist. And did I fail to mention that it’s widely rumored that Charlie Crist is a closeted homosexual? Coincidence?
Charlie Crist is not a homosexual. Here.
Ooops. Ooops and Double-Ooops.
Tommy Tester; Rudy Guiliani’s Best Man in Virginia
Poor Tommy Tester. He wakes up from a brutal hang-over, and as the fog releases his throbbing headache he realizes that he’s in jail and he wearing a skirt.
Baptist minister, radio dee-jay, father, husband and a Royal Republican; Mr. Thompson decided it was “high” time to pull over in front of the local car wash, hike his skirt up, pull out his fiddle-faddle and take a leak in front of a group of small children.
An open bottle of vodka and an empty bottle of oxycodon and Tester was up for his audition on the latest instalment of COPS. The arresting officers had seen it all, but they hadn’t heard it all. While in the back-seat of the squad car, Tommy Tester offered both officers a nice long suck on their fiddle-faddles!
Now what’s the Rudy Giuliani’ campaign going to do once this reaches the Fair and Balanced Fox News?!
The best for last: David Vitter (R-LA)
Louisiana politics is nothing short of nightmarish. I think Florida’s politicians have been historically just as bad as Louisiana’s. I used to live in New Orleans, I have close friends who live there to this day. I’d never go as far as to say I understand Louisiana’s culture, history as a native from that state could. But I am familiar!
Royal Republican David Vitter once compared gay marriage to Hurricane Katrina and Rita combined. He said at a Laffayette Parish Republican Executive Committee luncheon:
“It’s the crossroads where Katrina meets Rita. I always knew I was against same-sex unions.”
Isn’t it funny how quickly they fall? You almost want to cry a little bit inside because when they fall… they fall hard. Brutally hard. Face down. Face down with a diaper on their ass.
Royal Republican David Vitter made quit a spectacle while the Republicans in Congress tried to make a Constitutional Amendment to permanently prevent same-sex unions. Vitter was the Bible thumping, hate-mongering,
diaper-wearing senator who saw no limits on hating same-sex marriage and preaching up the values of heterosexual marriage. Meanwhile, Vitter was spending cash while laying in the arms of the prostitute ring owned by the famous DC Madam.
This isn’t his first time. Vitter has a history of skanking around on his wife.
…this is not the first time he has been found out as not the family candidate. Hypocrite Vitter was accused of an extramarital affair in 1999 with a New Orleans prostitute, Wendy Cortez.
The Canal Street madam claims to know how many syphilis sores are on Vitter’s fiddle-faddle, and isn’t ashamed to talk about it.
Here’s a piece of juicy rotten fruit. A short collection of David Vitter’s 2004 election campaign commercials. In the first one, he does his chit-chat and at the end, wife-Wendy walks into the shot and says; “Here David. You can start by changing Jack!” and referencing the kid’s diaper.” You’ll laugh so hard, you’ll snort your Co-Co Puffs up through your nose.
Now here’s the story I’ve got just for you. But you have to promise never to tell anybody. Do you promise? okay…What? Do you promise? Okay – promise – hope to die stick a Fruit Fly in your Eye…
One of my closest friends lives in southern Louisiana and used to work in the law firm where David Vitter worked back in the day. He and I were on the phone about three weeks ago and he told me this:
You know. I had lunch with a good friend of mine who was also an attorney in that same law firm. She is now a Washington DC insider and there’s a whole other twist to this story about our Senator David Vitter.
She said to me; “The real gossip in DC isn’t about him seeing the DC Madame and his phone number appearing on her list. The entire town is buzzing the fact that they’re suprised nobody has questioned that it wasn’t a woman David Vitter was seeing!! He was paying to see a man!” I’m telling you…I knew it when I worked with that man. I thought; “This man loves to diddle boys just as much as he loves to screw women.”
With his permission, I emailed Mike Rogers over at BlogActive. (BlogActive is the worlds best website to define the difference between a gay man versus a “homosexual”. If there’s a hypocrite out there screaming about the sins of the GLBT community, and he/she is in The Closet – that’s a homosexual. And they’re the worse kind of people on the planet Earth and Mike Rogers has heard about it already.)
And so I thought; Mike Rogers might know more information about this guy David Vitters. I wonder if there’s any rumor flying around the idea that David Vitters is into homosexual sex?
So I fired off an email to him telling him what my best friend told me. “The scandal in DC isn’t that Vitter was seeing the DC Madam…The scandal there is that Vitter loves to play with men to!!” And this is what Mike Rogers over at BlogActive said to me:
Thanks for this… Love your site…<snip>
I actually had an interview with the DC Madam, we talked about my work and several times during the interview Deborah Jeane told me that she never worked with men and that on the rare occasion she would send people looking for that to another agency or the phone book.
She didn’t seem anti-gay, but she sure wasn’t familiar with the stuff I think someone would know about if they were providing male escorts in DC.
That being said, I’d be interested in chatting with your friend about it if he is interested. Just because she didn’t say it happened, doesn’t mean it didn’t…after all, this is DC!
So the next time I’m on the phone with my best friend from Louisiana, I’m going to see if I can’t pull off a ménage à trois on the phone lines and get Mike Rogers on the phone with the two of us and listen in. Nothing better than a little more rotten fruit thrown in there.
Stay tuned and stay infested!