Found on a Doorstep

doorstephouseflyMSNBC’s Kieth Olbermann is AFK (away from keyboard) because he’s now missing his appendix. It means we’ll be stuck with that blond girl for the next day or so.

houseflySec of State Condi Rice is now officially a lesbian. Well, sort of… She shares ownership of a home in Palo Alto with a liberal progressive documentary film maker. The woman is single, never been married and is considered Dr. Rice’s closest friend. Oh…and the woman’s lasts name is “Bean”. Obviously, the home’s mailbox proudly says; “Rice and Bean’s“.

houseflySenators John Kerry (D-MA) and John McCain (R-AZ) were on Meet the Press on Sunday. When the fight was over, McCain had a broken arm, a wrenched back a bloody-lip and one tooth was missing. Kerry walked away as the declared winner with only a black-eye.

houseflyThe Flying Nun has a foul mouth – But thankfully, FOX was there to protected us from the profanity. Click here if you want to hear the uncensored version, but remember: Jesus will hate you for it.

houseflyMinneapolis’ famous bridge remains collapsed. No money has been received from the feds, no agreements on rebuilding the bridge, no contracts to the bridge and the Mayor leaves for US Conference of Mayors embarrassed and ashamed. Said Minnesota’s Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty: “So what? The mayor has plenty of other roads available! Why are these Democrats such jerks! Gimme Gimme Gimme! That’s all they whine about…!!!”

Update: Another bridge in Minneapolis has been closed. It’s been discovered that the foundation, built in 1905, has shifted about eleven inches from it’s original position. The decking of the bridge was last replaced in 1958. Note: MN DOT isn’t doing anything about this bridge – it’s a county project and the Governor kept making “whiny” noise-imitations when he was told about this bridge closing.

houseflyThe Chinese have generously given Hawai’i a boat load of poisonous spiders, which they didn’t want in the first place. US Customs officials, understaffed and under paid aren’t sure of what to do about it. Perhaps killing them would be appropriate? Said one Customs official: “Thankfully, al Queda hasn’t figured out the shipping industry yet.”

houseflyRepublican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney uses St Vincent’s Hospital in New York City to explain why Hillary Clinton’s health care plan is stupid and how much the Mormon church hates sick mommies and daddies. St Vincent’s Hospital objected to being used as a prop for political reasons, and Romney’s team shot back: “Who cares what St Vincent’s thinks?”

houseflyCurentTV’s Super News has a new issue out that’s fun. It accurately depicts the Republican Party’s young people in a timeless episode spoofing the movie “The Hills“.

houseflyJim Ramstad (R-MN 3rd CD) has just announced (less than an hour ago) that he will not be running for re-election in 2008. When asked why he said; “Two reasons! One ..! Because Michele Bachmann keeps hitting on me and whining that her husband is gay. Two..! Because I don’t wantFruitFly 6 to be representing the minority party in Congress for the next twenty years!”

Update: Minnesota’s GOP Chair, Ron Carey, has announced that auditions for Congressman Ramstad’s Republican replacement will be held at a Mens Room at the Minneapolis/St Paul Airport…which is now a tourist trap.

One Response

  1. Your blog is stupid which there is too much of in this society. Put something intelligent, if possible, on the internet. There is no time for the indiots: if you are trying to be funny, you are failing miserably.

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