Mistress vs. Mister: Larry Craig’s “Snack on the Side”

He’s an I.T. Geek and he’s everybody’s favorite local bear. Let us all get to know David Phillips, one of many we’ll be getting to knowDavid Phillips who have allegedly had sex with Larry Craig. In this Wonkette exclusive, Phillips recalls a memory of years gone by at a gay bar in Washington DC where he was taken to Craig’s home and where they broke one of the Laws of Leviticus in a private residence’s guest room.

As we tiptoed from the back door to the stairs to the upper floor, as if somebody else was home, he turned to grope my crotch and brush my face with his hand.” The house’s decor led Phillips to believe that this was a married man: “The bric-a-brac with family pictures didn’t scream ‘old queen’ to me; it announced a woman’s influence. Still, we made our way upstairs.

Bric-a-brac indeed. Phillips continues with:

I let my eyes wander and saw on a table a small envelope, like one from a gift or a floral arrangement, with ‘Suzanne Craig’ neatly written on it. This memory,” Phillips insists, “I noted about three hours after hearing Craig’s voice again, the night before I saw a current picture of him and a good day before I heard of his wife in the news. ‘That’s who’s going to fuck me up if she finds out,’ I thought. As he reached for the door, he took a $20 bill from his wallet, shoved in my front pocket, adding ‘Remember, I can buy and sell your ass ten thousand times over. You were never here. Don’t try to come back here. You don’t know me.

This sounds like the familiar Larry Craig we all know and love. Shoving his personal authority on someone else and then trying to intimidate them into something he wants or needs.

Recall the police officer’s story in the MSP Intl Airport when after the arrest, Larry Craig:

At one point, police reports said, Craig handed the arresting officer a business card that identified him as a U.S. senator and said, “What do you think about that?”

We’ll see more and more of these gay men coming forward and telling their story for four reasons:

  • a.) it’s open hunting season for hypocritical Republican homophobes
  • b.) being gay and out of the proverbial closet isn’t a big deal anymore
  • c.) Craig’s homosexual lifestyle spans decades of closeted self-hatred and
  • d.) finding “celebrity” status by admitting you’ve literally fucked a Republican is worth cash.

Stay tuned everybody… There’ll be a coffee-table book published in a few years of the collected photographed works entitled: “All of Larry Craig’s Men“.

UPDATE: Howie Klein (Down With Tyranny) joins “Team Lucas” at Crooks and Liars with a video of alleged gayGiuliani In Drag Republicans in a photo collage put to music in a song called “Until the Boys” by Until December. It’s a snappy little tune – but it’s horribly disappointing they didn’t think to include Rudy Giuliani’s picture in drag. Brave New Films suggests the RNC include the tune in next year’s GOP National Convention in 2008. I have to disagree: Let’s face it – you can’t have a gay party of hot and hunky men without a drag queen somewhere within in the middle of it all acting as the emcee.

Howie also notes that the NRSC (National Republican Senatorial Committee) plans to meat gather at Sea Island, GA to perform oral sex on big money sugar-daddies because they’re so broke entering into the 2008 election cycle. The horror of this story is that the NRSC has told Larry Craig he isn’t invited to the suck-fest. Craig, burning up his election money on legal fees for his misadventures in the Twin Cities now has problems securing a legal team to file lawsuits against anybody like David Phillips or Wonkette for discussing this story.

FruitFlyUPDATE II: Zach over at MNPublius spotted a note on Examiner dot com (Minneapolis/St Paul) that Larry Craig is now using Denver Intl Airport to catch his connecting flights back to Idaho. We’re all so disappointed about this information. I mean, we’ve already sunk the money into re-installing new walls in the restroom!! What a waste of Minnesota tax-payer money…

UPDATE III: The Young Turks have now discussed this topic  as to keep the story with some air and their video is up on YoTube which you can see by clicking here.

5 Responses

  1. So now the vulgar is in and humor is out.

    What good did Craig’s legal and PR consultants do him? The Senator needed to change the punch line of the jokes from himself to the insanity of a cop sitting on a toilet 8 hrs a day waiting to hear the sound of one foot tapping.

    Click below

    http://sfbay.craigslist.org/doc/clt/459032955.html

    Also look at the Larry Craig Halloween costumes, they’re stupid as hell; except for this one, which is pretty cool — actually I might wear it myself–how about you?

    This Larry Craig ensemble will be worn at the staff parties on the Hill…it has class and is FUNNY too. See for yourself at:

    http://sfbay.craigslist.org/doc/clt/459010971.html

    The ladies on Capital Hill will look absolutely chic in the Halloween “Larry Craig S.W.A.T. Tee-Shirt and optional cap.

    ” Matched by jeans and clunky black shoes or better yet combat boots, people will surely notice you and get the hell out of your way. With a set of handcuffs attached to a thick black belt the look is mostly complete.”
    –Debbie G.

  2. Both the Humor and Vulgarity go hand-in-hand. Sorting them out would be a little bit of a waste of time.

    The true “Vulgarity” lies within the homophobic GOP who’s focus was on stripping gays and lesbians of any rights as defined with the United States Constitution while they controlled Congress. And while they beat their war-drums of hatred towards gays and lesbians; they’re sucking and fucking in airport bathrooms, Union (train) Stations and in local gay bars in your own neighborhoods.

    My sympathies to the MSP Intl Airport police officer in all of this. He’s the one who had to scrape the scum off the bathroom floors and he’s least thanked for cleaning it up.

    Thanks for the links! I loved ’em!

    FF

  3. Stop with this homophobe shit.

    Hating fags isn’tthe same thing as being AFRAID of them or your own sexuality. Don’t love yourselves that much….or I’ll give you such a PINCH!!!!

  4. I loved the post , I will come back absolutely! Mistress rules!

  5. Super ,this post is something really worth to read … so its strongly adviced , thank you!

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