Mike Huckabee talks to God on his cell-phone

If you live in Minnesota, this is the best weekend to stay indoors and blog your narrow ass off. Which pretty well sums it up for me. (Except for the “narrow ass” part…because if you saw my ass, “narrow” isn’t an adjective you would use.)

Holy HuckFirst up: The former Arkansas governor <slash> Republican Presidential hopeful <slash> heavy metal rocker Mike Huckabee!!

What’s his gig? He talks to God on his cell phone and justifies the death penalty because Jesus never objected to it while the Son of God hung from the cross.

Huckabee interrupted his speech to the Republican Governors Association in 2004 to answer his cell phone. He proceeded to have a three-minute conversation with God about President Bush’s re-election:

We’re behind [Bush], yes, sir, we sure are. Yes, sir, we know you don’t take sides in the election. But, if you did, we kind of think you’d hang in there with us, Lord, we really do.

You can watch the video here.

Do you think God’s cell-phone carrier is better than the one Ihuckabee_douche have? I have Sprint. They totally suck! I hate those guys!! I’m betting God’s cell carrier gives Him unlimited text messaging too. Just because He’s..”GOD”, they were like: “Okay sure…we’ll throw in unlimited Text and give ya Email too.”

In January 1997 during a triple execution, Governor Mike Huckabee responded to a fellow Arkansas citizen who asked how his Christian teachings squared with his views regarding the death penalty while on the air with Arkansas Educational Television:

“Interestingly enough,” Huckabee allowed, “if there was ever an occasion for someone to have argued against the death penalty, I think Jesus could have done so on the cross and said, ‘This is an unjust punishment and I deserve clemency’.”

Yes indeed…The Son of God prayed for forgiveness of his executioners. And since the Savior didn’t say:

“OH MY GOD!! THIS TOTALLY SUCKS! GET ME OFF THIS THING!!”

…It’s glaringly obvious toFruitFly 6 me as well. Christ does support the killing of His children!!

I’m willing to bet that “capital punishment” thing has always put a mile on Jesus Christ’s face. The Son of God is up there right now whining: “Dang..!! When are they gonna kill another one?! I can’t wait much longer!!”

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