Red State Update: Apologizing to Fred Thompson

via Crooks and Liars, Travis has Jonathan in an arm-lock forcing him to apologize about Fred Thompson being such a terrible candidate (even though Thompson was supposed to be the “Great White Hope” for the GOP).

FruitFly 6In case nobody’s paying attention, Thompson came in behind the “write-in” in New Hampshire. Just make sure you don’t tell anybody… Speaking ill about the Republican’s is a felony in most states.

Rudy Giuliani’s campaign going down? Say it isn’t so!

RudyNow this can’t be good. His campaign staffers are waving their need for a paycheck while Rudy waits for that special “blow-out” election in Florida. Says the Mpls Strib:

About a dozen senior campaign staffers for Rudy Giuliani are forgoing their January paychecks, aides said Friday, a sign of possible money trouble for the Republican presidential candidate.

“We have enough money, but we could always use more money,” contended Mike DuHaime, Giuliani’s campaign manager and one of those who now is working for free. “We want to make sure we have enough to win.”

Doesn’t look good, huh? Check this out farther down the column:

The former New York mayor has yet to win a contest and is counting on a victory in delegate-rich Florida to prove his candidacy is viable heading into the multistate contests slated for Feb. 5, where he believes he can prevail in states like California and Illinois.

It’s a costly strategy because Florida and states that follow it are home to some of the most expensive media markets in the country. With so many states voting in such a narrow time period, candidates can do little else but rely on paid media to get their message out.

What do you want to bet that Rudy Giuliani has embezzled “all of that cash” and funneled it directly into his consulting company, Giuliani Partners? In six moths to a year from now, we’re going to have a headline reading:FruitFly

“Financial woes at Giuliani Partners: IRS expected to file indictments today”

…And it’ll be all about this money that came into the company right around this time and we’ll have forgotten all about his campaign staffers who’ve waved getting paid in order to see him elected President of the United States.

Redstate Continues to spit on Paulites

Ron Paul Foreign PolicyI actually like watching Republicans kicking each other in the groin. Seriously! It’s like watching Jackass, The Movie III. Better than watching Wee-Man go flying through a wall of florescent light-bulbs with a red -flare rocket strapped to his skateboard…

They hate Willard Romney. He’s a flip-flopper…unless you’re a southern conservative. In the South, he’s a Satan Worshipper, in spite of Bob Jones Jr. endorsing him long before Huckleberry became popular.

Rudy’s just a dirt-bag who uses tax-payer monies to use NYPD as bodyguards for the protection of his mistress and her family. But they don’t seem to care about government waste when it comes to adultry and New York’s finest. Rudy’s sins don’t qualify recognition with the “fiscal conservative” wig-wams, “religious conservative” wigwams or even “social conservative” wigwams. His children will have nothing to do with him and even his fucking priest has been charged with sexual assault.

Fred Thompson geeks are too stoned or far too strung out to know why they support that “Hollywood hunk”. Redstate just loves Grandpa Fred and the rest of Team GOP thinks Fred’s a lazy ass and he’s just in the way. They don’t kick out Fred Thompson geeks, even though Ron Paul gets a 10% better poll rating than Fred-Hollywood.

Personally, I think it’s nothing but GOP Hedonism. Pick on the punk because its easy to hate the skinny kid.

Example: Redstate beats up Ron Paul’s cheer-leading squad.

But I have never in my life witnessed the sort of zealotry that attaches some to Ron Paul.

Can anyone explain this to me? Why have so many otherwise sane-seeming people gone completely bug**** crazy over this flake?

I wasn’t just tossing a cheap joke into the last post. Seriously, honestly: Let us put aside indelicate questions about Ron Paul’s possible anti-semitism, racism, etc. Just let’s leave that be for a moment.

Can Ron Paul’s defenders please justify voting for a man who appears, based on the evidence, to be mentally unstable and haunted by a livable and low-grade, but quite real, case of paranoid schizophrenia?

“Who cares?” you say?

Ron Paul geeks; that’s who. Paulites.

Recently, Fox Noise kicked Ron Paul off their Weiner Roast Forum and the Paulites reacted…badly. In New Hampshire, they tracked down Sean Hannity, angry about being removed from the Weiner Roast. Instead of torches and pitchforks, the crazed Ron Paul mob chased “Sergeant Shultz” down the street equipped with hand-held GPS, IPODs, MP3’s, two Dell laptops and sixteen Sony digital video-cams.

Don’t believe me? Click my favorite link here:

frinkYou might remember, only three months ago – Redstate kicked out the entire Ron Paul cheer-leading squad because they were a.) lame and b.) had apparently seen more flying saucers than Dennis Kucinich on a clear day on the side of a rain forest mountain smoking hemp with Shirley McLain. Out of huge protest, Redstate capitulated and decided to let the rodents back into the rats nest. Once again, the Paulites were happy.

In today’s world; Redstate ridicules the Paulites and treats them the same way as their own King George used to blow up frogs with firecracker-enimas.

In the past twenty-odd years, it’s always been the GOP who’s been goose-stepping their way to Congress and it shows in their miserable success of der klitzeklein dummkopf, “King George”. This election cycle is different. This election year: Watching the GOP makes me want to sing Sondheim’sFruitFly 6 Send in the Clowns.

Don’t you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you’d want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don’t bother, they’re here.

Larry Craig Wastes more Minnesota Taxpayer’s Money

Larry Craig FunniesHow much time and money does the Minnesota taxpayer have to waste on Republican Larry Craig’s “Adventures in Potty Land?” His legal team has filed yet another appeals in the Minnesota courts system hoping they’ll eventually get a Pawlenty R-Gov MN) appointed judge. Craig’s team has decided to split pubic hairs with Minnesota law:

An appeals brief filed Tuesday contends that Minnesota’s disorderly conduct law “requires that the conduct at issue have a tendency to alarm or anger ‘others'” — underscoring the plural nature of the term.

Craig’s brief goes on to cite other convictions that were overturned because the multiple-victim test wasn’t met. His lawyers apply the same logic to his case.

His attorneys have also argued that Craig’s actions only affected the police officer (who of course, is irrelevant in this case). And since the statute requires to offend others, Craig’s actions shouldn’t be considered a crime.

“Appellant’s alleged conduct in this case affected only a single individual — Sergeant Karsnia,” the Craig brief says. “It did not — and could not affect ‘others’ as the disorderly conduct statute requires, and therefore, does not satisfy that element of the statute.”

But wait! There’s more!

Sergeant Karsnia doesn’t count as a party to the crime that would be regarded as “offended”.

You might say; “You’re kidding Fruit! Why?”

…Let me tell you why!!

The brief also argues that Karsnia himself could not have been offended by the alleged conduct because “he invited it.” The alleged conduct, Craig’s lawyers added, doesn’t rise to the level of being “offensive, obscene, abusive, boisterous or noisy.”

You’d probably say: “That’s stupid! That’s an insult to our own ‘Boys in Blue!’ How dare this Idaho Pervert insult our officers here in Minnesota!!?!”

But wait! There’s more!

What about that hand-gesture underneath the stall’s separating wall? He reaches over with his left hand under the wall on his right-hand side and holds his hand out hoping to masturbate his bathroom neighbor? It turns out – that’s now considered “free speech”!!free speech

Besides attacking the law he was prosecuted under, Craig’s legal team argues that the hand signal allegedly used to communicate a desire to engage in sexual conduct would be constitutionally protected speech. They also say the plea is technically flawed because it lacked a judicial signature.

Huh!! Ain’t that sumpin’?! All these years, I’ve been told that burning the American flag was protected free speech! And to think all of those times I got arrested slutting on Bare-Assed Beach along the Mississippi River…All I had to do is tell the judge that I was exercising my Constitutionally protected free speach!

FruitFly 6All of this puzzles me why Minnesota Republicans aren’t bitching about the wasted taxpayer spending here in Minnesota. They didn’t say much when they wasted $57 million investigating Clinton either!

One day Suzanne Craig will get smart and have an AIDS test too.

New Hampshire Independant Voters Breaking Toward the Dems?!!

donkeyThis can’t be good news for the G-Uh-Oh-Pee.. From by way of Buzzflash, I found that ABC News (Mickey Mouse News) is reporting that voter-turnout for the Dems is not only overwhelming in numbers, but they’re running out of ballots!! Predictions are that the Dems are turning 1 1/2 times that of the Republicans!

Check this out:

ABC News’ Karen Travers Reports: New Hampshire Deputy Secretary of State Dave Scanlan told ABC News that turnout among primary voters today is “absolutely huge” — and there are concerns about running out of ballots in towns like Portsmouth, Keene, Hudson and Pelham.

“Turnout is absolutely huge and towns are starting to get concerned that they may not have enough ballots,” Scanlan said. “We are working on those issues. Everything else seems to be going smoothly.”

Scanlan said that the Secretary of State’s office is sending additional ballots to Portsmouth and Keene (traditionally Democratic strongholds), Hudson (Republican leaning with significant numbers of independents) and Pelham (large number of independents).

This beginning to smell like Iowa Version 2.0!! The bad news for the Republicans continue:

According to Scanlan, the ballot strain seems to be on Democratic ballots, which suggests that the undeclared voters are breaking for the Democratic primary. New Hampshire Secretary of State William Gardner predicted that 90,000 undeclared voters would vote in the Democratic primary compared to 60,000 voting in the Republican primary.

Deputy Secretary Scanlan said based on a formula anticipating higher turnout, they printed additional ballots, but in most cases towns will go “right down to the wire with ballots they need.” The extra ballots will be insurance ballots in most places so election officials have a comfort level.

Scanlan said reports from polling places show that turnout hasscooby been steady and high though the morning but typically high activity periods will be lunch and after work.

No Scoobie Snacks for the GOP’s mutts tonight!

I can’t wait for Ann Coulter to go out on Fox and tell their viewers FruitFlythat New Hampshire needs to be perfected. And it’ll be Michelle Malkin who’ll whip out her digi-cam and snap photos of all of the Dems in their homes getting ready to leave to go vote.

Redstate is Blaming the GOP for Turning Virginia Blue

Old FruitfliesThis is awesome… From Redstate:

Here’s a case study on why the GOP is failing in Virginia. It has taken me some time to compile this. I wanted to talk to representatives of the various candidates. They confirm what I report below. Likewise, I talked to a Democrat who confirms that the Democratic Party of Virginia did not stoop to the level of jackassery that the Republican Party of Virginia did.

In Virginia, all candidates must collect a minimum of 10,000 signatures from registered voters to get on the ballot. To make it tougher, the signatures must be collected on forms provided by the board of elections and the forms must be signed AND NOTARIZED by the solicitor. Its a big big undertaking.

Once the petitions were due, the state board of elections immediately turned them over to the respective state party chairs. The party chairs have complete authority to determine who qualifies and who doesn’t.

The Virginia Democratic Party actually went out and collected 7,500 signatures for each of their presidential candidates. Edwards, Richardson, and Kucinich all submitted the bare minimum of 10,000 signatures. Guess what? They were all approved.

Giuliani In Dragblah blah blah… and then this:

Contrast that with the Republican Party of Virginia:

Romney, Fred, Rudy, McCain, Huckabee, and Paul all filed over 15,000 signatures each – well above the recommended minimums.

So what did the Virginia GOP do? Well, they did absolutely nothing to help any of the candidates other than put out clipboards at their state fair booth.

Then they decided to attempt some kind of unprecedented “verification” process.

blah blah blah… and finally this:

Meanwhile the Democrats will be on the ballot in Virginia – a state that probably won’t even matter in this process since their primary is February 12th – and they’ll all be focusing on building their ground game to beat us.

The Virginia GOP should be embarrassed.

What’s the matter with our party???????

Keep LeftLOL! I’m reminded of a story I read back in September ’07 when Virginia State Senator Devolites Davis (R-Fairfax Co.)…:

On the campaign trail, Devolites Davis describes herself as an independent, a moderate who can best represent a centrist constituency. At a forum Thursday night before Equality Fairfax, a gay-rights organization, she called herself a “RINO” — Republican in Name Only — a derogatory term used by members of the GOP’s conservative wing.

Republican Virginians have been pandering for votes from the Virginia GLBT voters for the past six months while the Redstate geeks pretend not to be interested.

GOPLet’s not ignore the GOP ballot in Virginia in 2004 when they kicked “The Gays” in the teeth with a ballot that yanked any dismal idea of “partnership” rights between two people of the same sex. That included those business labels like “LLC” partnerships and applying for fishing licenses for trout steams where you and your “partner” needed to buy some bait.

These are the same Republicans who are now groveling themselves in front of GLBT groups happily identifying themselves with acronyms that identify themselves as GOP shit and spit.

Redstate contributors must have ate the lead-paint when they were kids. They’re only about five months behind the curve-ball on what’s going on in Virginia.

In 10 months, they’ll be running another surprise piece on how stunned they are that Virginia elected Mark Warner to US Senate and has become the first official Southern State to turn Blue since 1964.

The Dems already own the Commonwealth’s Senate, and they elected a Dem to succeed Warner as Governor. Virgnians kicked out George Allen in exchange for anti-Iraqi warFruitFly 6 Blue-Dog Jim Webb. Now when they have state senators happily bragging to be called a “RINO”, you know it’s going to be bad.

Really bad…. Psss! …Really, really bad.

“Minnesota Democrats Exposed” Exposed

rotten fruit(Minnesota) Republicans find no fault in smear campaigns as long as it’s the DFL. They’ll throw out any kind of bullshit out there as long as they think their Dittohead readers will simply accept it as truth and accept it without question.

Enter Exhibit A… Michael B Brodkorb over at “Minnesota Democrats Exposed” has just blogged an entry making a few dubious claims. Brodkorb says that US Senator-hopeful Al Franken has spent more money than Senate Republican-Incumbent Norm (a.ka. the Bush puppet) Coleman.

Brodkorb jumps in at it too:

According to press releases and published reports, U.S. Senator Norm Coleman’s campaign has a 2 to 1 cash on hand advantage over Al Franken’s campaign. Franken ended the year with just over $3 million in the bank, while Coleman has over $6 million.

Franken has spent almost 60% of what his campaign has raised. Franken’s “burn-rate” (how much money he is spending compared to what he is raising) continues to be really high. Franken’s running a very expensive campaign.

You can’t buy tv ads or field staffers with a list of prospective donors. These things need to be paid for with cold, hard cash. I’m hearing from some Democrats that concerns are growing that Team Franken’s spending habits might not be sustainable.

Wow! Those are some damned strong accusations, aren’t they?! Did you check out that last sentence? He say he’s hearing some some Dems that they’re raising concerns that Team Franken’s spending habits might be worse than Lindsey Lohan’s cocaine habit.

al frankenWhy, Brodkorb here implies that he might just make millions of dollars shooting and producing an “Al Fraken Spending Gone Wild” video!

There’s only one problem with this in that he documents nothing. …Absolutely nothing! He doesn’t cite one source to support his allegation(s). You’re just supposed to accept it as fact.

…and so let’s keep the fact for what it really is; Al Franken has raised more money, and has spent more than his incumbent-rival Senator Norm Coleman. That’s okay, because I swam all over the Internet looking for anything where a Republican campaign outspent a Democrat’s campaign. And I ended up back where I started.

Blue Man in a Red District points out that Brodkorb cheered the fact:

A week ago Brodkorb was pimping the fact that (R) Ray Cox had raised nearly $40,000 while Dahle (DFL) lagged behind at about $10,000.

In the end, Cox spent over $29,000 in the race, compared to about $12,000 for Dahle, and got beat by 13 points.

What?!? Mikey B, say it isn’t so! Are you saying that you’re a stinking hypocrite? When a Republican state senator spends 75% of of his campaign funds – that’s great news! But if a DFL US Senator spends an alleged 60% of his cash, that creates …what was that?! “…concerns are growing that Team Franken’s spending habits might not be sustainable.”

liarI truly think he’s lying that any Democrats have raised any concern about Al Franken’s spending. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say that Micheal B. Brodkorb is flat-out lying about the subject. (Since he doesn’t bother to cite his work, he’ll have to simply accept the allegation until he can produce anything to support his claim.)

For the record (only because Brodkorb is far too lazy to look it up and document his work), KARE-11 filed this today:

For the third straight reporting period, DFL candidate Al Franken has out-raised Sen. Norm Coleman.

Franken says he raised nearly $1.9 million in the last quarter of 2007, while Coleman reports raising $1.7 million.

But Coleman was able to widen his cash-on-hand advantage over Franken. Coleman finished the year with about $6 million, compared to just under $3.1 million for Franken, a comedian-turned-politician.

For the year, Franken raised around $7 million, while Coleman raised $6.6 million.

KARE-11 adds on caveat that compounds the equation Brodkorb certainly doesn’t want you to consider:

Franken is battling Democrat Mike Ciresi and others for the right to take on Coleman, a Minnesota Republican. Ciresi did not immediately release his latest campaign figures.

With all of the cash raising by the entire DFL team, including Mike Ciresi, Jack Nelson-Pallmeyer, and Jim Cohen all totaled up: Norm Coleman has accomplished little. Well, except for being a good puppy for King George. I guess in that light; Norm’s been a huge beacon of hope for the Dittoheads.

While Al Franken’s team is proudly explaining that not only have they raised more money than Coleman, it was money that came from American citizens:

A couple hours after we sent out the email below, Norm Coleman announced his own fund raising numbers. Turns out, we out raised him yet again! And we did it without

taking a dime from the Big Oil, Big Insurance, and Big Pharmaceutical PACs he relies on – we did it with you, and 81,414 other Americans who want to see change in Washington.

Lucky Mr. Brodkorb. My college professor’s never let me get away with drawing conclusions and stating facts without citing my sources. Drawing double-standards and promoting hypocrisy in my material would have me kicked out of the damned class.

muffin headNow with all of that set aside, this is what I found the funniest part of researching this blog entry. Brodkorb’s entry where he’s bragging it up about Ray Cox (R-SD25) raises almost four times what his competitor Kevin Dahle (DFL) raised for that special election. Read the blog entry – and then cruise on down to the comments section to all of Brodkorb’s muffin-headed geeks and read what they have to say about the (upcoming) election. Keep in mind that it was all written 12/31/07 and the election was held 1/3/08, so nobody knows the results…yet. They’re all excited about Brodkorb’s entry that Dahle is obviously a loser for not raising nearly the amount of cash that Ray Cox has raised. And so they leave their comments like:

  1. In the Know Says:
    December 31st, 2007 at 4:53 pm Typical DFLer – spend more than you have. The DFL can give up to $5,000 total in this race – why did they only give $3,000?

..and this guy’s comment:

  1. flyer Says:
    January 1st, 2008 at 9:44 pm This is non-news. The DFL is going to lose this election and then know it. Their lackluster effort shows it all.

That one made me laugh. “Yes Michael B. Brodkorb! You’re delight in the money-raising isn’t news! The DFL and it’s lackluster effort shows it all!!”

..and this one:

  1. W.James Says:
    January 1st, 2008 at 2:33 pm I suppose Dahle just expected the unions to take care of things…. he is selected union candidate so why hide who is actually running the elction by raising his own money? His name on the ballot should be Kevin “union hack” Dahle. He has not even bothered to campaign in any part of the district but Northfield and is relying on the unions and students from out of state to get out the vote.

Let’s not tell these guys that it was their candidate who lost that election. Let’s just let them slather themselves in arrogance and a nice warm milk bath. It’s that same cocky attitude that lost thatFruitFly 6 election on the 3rd and it’s the same attitude that’ll lose even bigger come this November.

But let’s not tell them… Okay? Let’s all take an oath and nobody tell Brodkorb’s idiot fan club that Dahle won…and they wasted their money sinking it into Cox. Shhhh!!!