The Daily Show Welcomes the RNC to the Twin Cities

Nice job, Stewie!! I have to run on down there this coming weekend to look for this billboard…

Crooks and Liars is mis-reporting that the sign is hanging over I-94. The original source states that it’s on I-494 outside of MSP.

Egads…that is funnier than Hell…

Oh, and by the way… Tonights video selection (click the Fly, Silly) was deliberate!!

McCain v Solzhenitsyn = Double Talk Express

Nice.

McCain is using this “parable” in front of the Jesus-Freaks in Orange County, CA to whore out his image as a good Christian man. In a self-inflicted emotional moment, he inverts the details from Alexander Solzhenitsy’s original story as a Holocaust prisoner to fit his own experience as a POW in Viet Nam. It’s shameful, it’s disgusting and it props up the idea that McCain is willing to use his POW status as a package he can market to the masses in an effort to sell more war.

Watch the video to the end… You tell me:

Quoting the “Double Talk Express“:

It appears John McCain’s very touching story about one of his captors in Vietnam showing him kindness and drawing a cross in the sand might actually be borrowed.

It is very similar to this story about Alexander Solzhenitsyn from his times in the Soviet Gulags.

Along with other prisoners, he worked in the fields day after day, in rain and sun, during summer and winter. His life appeared to be nothing more than backbreaking labor and slow starvation. The intense suffering reduced him to a state of despair.

On one particular day, the hopelessness of his situation became too much for him. He saw no reason to continue his struggle, no reason to keep on living. His life made no difference in the world. So he gave up.

Leaving his shovel on the ground, he slowly walked to a crude bench and sat down. He knew that at any moment a guard would order him to stand up, and when he failed to respond, the guard would beat him to death, probably with his own shovel. He had seen it happen to other prisoners.

As he waited, head down, he felt a presence. Slowly he looked up and saw a skinny old prisoner squat down beside him. The man said nothing. Instead, he used a stick to trace in the dirt the sign of the Cross. The man then got back up and returned to his work.

As Solzhenitsyn stared at the Cross drawn in the dirt his entire perspective changed. He knew he was only one man against the all-powerful Soviet empire. Yet he knew there was something greater than the evil he saw in the prison camp, something greater than the Soviet Union. He knew that hope for all people was represented by that simple Cross. Through the power of the Cross, anything was possible.

Solzhenitsyn slowly rose to his feet, picked up his shovel, and went back to work. Outwardly, nothing had changed. Inside, he had received hope.

[From Luke Veronis, “The Sign of the Cross”; Communion, issue 8, Pascha 1997.]

Excerpted from “The Gulag Archipelago” by Alexander Solzhenitsyn, which was released in the US in 1973.

McCain’s looking for warm-fuzzies and the sympathy vote.

It’s quite possible for them both to have had a similar experience while being held as prisoners, but the fact that John McCain seems to be bit of a Solzhenitsyn buff, recently writing this piece on him for the New York Sun, makes it very suspicious. After all this would not be his first time getting caught lying about his POW experience.

CNN and the rest wrap up the conversation about conception, pro-choice and abortion with simplistic sound-bites. Nobody talks about how to reduce abortions (aside from the pro-life Christian freaks who attend Rick Warren’s church and shoots abortion doctors in the head).

I’m waiting for McCain to show up telling all of us his version on how he hid the Holy Bible in a pie. When the even Communist Russian Vietnamese soldiers came by demanding refreshments, Senator McCain couldn’t remember which side the Bible was hidden. Luckily, by the hand of God, Senator McCain cut into it and gave a delicious slice to the evil soldier, keeping the Bible hidden inside with the eternal smell of cooked rhubarb.

…About that alleged “Liberal Press”

In January 2008, Hamas TV came out with an ad that spoke poorly about George W Bush, saying he was the anti-christ.

The right wingers went insane and huffed: “How dare they?!” The right wing nutjobs over at Little Green Footballs said:

Hamas TV continues churning out sick, weird, genocidal propaganda; here’s their creative effort to welcome George W. Bush to the Middle East, featuring a comic book villain voice ranting in broken English for some reason. We’ve been hearing from the mainstream media about the poor children of Gaza who can’t afford batteries for their hearing aids, but nobody wonders where Hamas is getting the money to produce this kind of evil incitement—or asks why they aren’t buying children’s hearing aids instead.

And meanwhile, they crab about our alleged “liberal media”. So when CNN runs this…

…Things are just fine with them.

They’re all hypocrites. The media, the right wingers, the entire lot. Hypocrites.

On the Little Green Footballs site, there are some four hundred comments that have been left. Recalling that the original post was on January 14, 2008 – Comment #136 says:

MSM would love nothing better than an aging, cranky McCain go against a young, vibrant Obama. That is the stuff Landslides are made of.

Excellent instincts, really crappy prediction.

Update:

Media Matters is running a story about CNN who’s just announced their newest line-up of “Top Political Reporters”. These people will get tons of face-time on camera and the entire CNN staff will regard what these people say as being “gold”. Who are these new “Journalistic Prodigies”?

I’m glad you asked:

CNN has added five more top political reporters and commentators to its deep bench of political contributors and analysts.” CNN’s new “top political reporters and commentators” that “span” the “spectrum” include reported McCain adviser Alex Castellanos, former RNC official Tara Walls, Christian Broadcasting Network’s David Brody (A Pat Robertson patsy!)— who once described a male blogger as Fred Thompson’s “angry girlfriend” — and Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank.

Emphasis’ are all mine.

Sounds like they’re aiming right for the “center” and “unbiased” look! I’m guessing they’ll start with that breaking story in Ohio where Republicans are caught trying tor suppress voter registration and absentee voting under a brand-new law they themselves penned and ran through the courts in the first place!!

h/t Buzzflash for the entire Update.

What’s that on her shoulder?!

We’ve been watching the Olympics, on and off, for the past three or four days. There’s been these moments when I see one of the USA’s woman’s volleyball team and she’s got this weird black…”thing” all over her right shoulder:

You see it on her right shoulder?! Pictures are hard to find on the ‘Net… From the front:


See it?!!

Most folks out there are asking about her “tatoo”, mistaking the markings as some elaborate skin-art thing.

From a photo blogger’s website entitled: “Photos of George W Bush “Drunk as a Monkey” at the Olympics“, I found this photo:


Here’s a photo that has nothing to do with my topic at hand – but I think it’s worth looking at anyway. Hail the “Leader of the Free World”!! …Drunk again!!

Good looking black man molesting Bush’s hairy man-boob there… Laura Bush, a.k.a. “The Xanax Queen”, getting the hell out of the way… It looks like she’s got that thought: “It’s time for a Misty May-Treanor Menthol light…Now get the Hell out of my way!!

Anyway! The black markings on Kerri Walsh’s shoulder isn’t a tatoo at all! As a matter of fact, it’s medical tape that was developed in Japan called “kinesio tape”.

Apparently, Ms. Walsh had surgery performed on her rotator-cup some time ago. The tape, a cloth-based adhesive, increases circulation and improves muscle performance that are on the mend.

From Mike’s World:

It’s called Kinesio-taping and is usually applied by therapists, not physicians…it’s pretty much voodoo, but some people get some benefits from it.

That is Kinesio Tape, developed in Japan for elastic support of muscles to allow muscles to relax and keep them from spasming. This tape also acts as a support. It is used in conjunction with the anatomy of the muscle and the use of the muscle that needs support.

I had a bad ankle strain last year and my chiro (who uses lots of acupressure techniques) wrapped it with a very light cloth tape and believe me it made such a difference for being something that didn’t feel like anything at all. There’s gotta be a psychological componet to this as well. ie. it “feels” better.”

Personally, I think it’s kind cool! Blues, greens, GLBT Rainbow Flag colors! There are hundreds of great ideas to do with that tape!! To hell with tatoos! Let’s say; A bald eagle wings spread open on printed Kinesio Tape stretched across my shoulders! That would be beautiful! Then, when after I got home after going out shirtless at the local Leather Man’s Night Out at the Eagle on Washington Avenue, all I have to do is rip that shit off and…WHAM!! … I’ve removed the hair from half my back.

It would hurt like hell for a while I suppose. But my muscles would be relaxed and my circulation couldn’t be better!

Hrmm… Wait! It improves circulation?! Do you think the Japanese have discovered an adhesive tape that would replace Viagra?!?!??!?

…Just sayin’.

It’s “Wack-A-Mole”! Bush thinks the Olympics are all about him…

His poll numbers have been in the toilet for three years now and Bush still keeps showing up at public events trying to “steal the show”.

In May 2007, Bush attends the Buffalo NY Symphony, with Maestro Joann Falletta as director. Towards the end of the piece, Bush hopped out of his chair and marched on down the aisle, walked up behind her and stood there grinning until she stopped and realized he was standing there. Not caring that the gesture is a mega-insult to the first female orchestra directors in classical music history, Bush wanted to “play”!!

The subliminal message Bush said was: “Hey…hehehhehhe… You’re kinda good! But I wanna try! Can I have the stick?!?! heheheheheheh”

After he was bored, he kissed the conductor (EWW!) and returned her baton. The song, in case you’re interested, Bush led the orchestra in The Stars and Stripes Forever.

Bush does this all the time. Like so many other disgraceful world leaders, Bush is far too drunk with power and far too out of his element to understand the basics of “Humility 101”.

We’ve been watching the Olympics this season. Mostly because I have a whopper of a head and chest cold, but also because there’s very little else on the tellie anyway. NBC’s Bob Costas explained the importance of the women’s gymnastics and we were pretty well tuned in with the Chinese athletic team. The United States team showed up to strut their stuff and in the midst of warm-ups, one of our star gymnist hurt her ankle, cutting the team to only four athletes.

The problem with this scenario is that with five on your team, the team can collect up all the points and throw away the lowest scores and keep the highest. The plight of the US Womens Gymnastics was that they now have no choice: Without the five team member, the athletes MUST do their best and they must not have any errors. Finally, they MUST beat the Chinese!

Wow! What a competition! One error -She landed six inches outside of the border-tape! Another US Athlete fell off the parallel bars and landed on her ass! The Chinese were good! But the Americans were really busting a hump! There is no room for error if they want to go to the finals!

The camera’s break and this is what we have on our fucking screen:

It’s NINE minutes long!! And Bush, he’s so smug:

“BLAH, BLAH BLAH”… “I told Putin this…and I told the Georgian president that!! I was honored to speak to the Chinese Prime Minister…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. My wife still sleeps at the Mayflower Hotel and smokes too many cigarettes… BLAH BLAH BLAH.”

This guy is like a Wack-A-Mole at the Minnesota State Fair. No matter how big the mallet is in your hand, the little fucker won’t stay down.

By the way: In spite of the handicap – the US beat China by a couple ten one thousand points…

UPDATE: Apparently, Pam Spaulding was watching the same thing. Spaulding, my personal favorite Lesbian On-Line was rudely interrupted with the Bush Interview and she’s also trying to re-coup….

Quoting Spaulding:

“COSTAS: This past week, you restated America’s fundamental differences with China. But given China’s growing strength, and America’s own problems, realistically, how much leverage does the U.S. have here?

BUSH: First of all, I don’t see America having problems. I see America as a nation that is a world leader that has got great values.”

Ouch!  When will he go away?!?  Please, Dear God!  Let him go away!!!

As Congress goes home, the GOP is once again – Shrill!

This is horribly annoying: I’m compelled by three stories at the same time.

1.) Satan has apparently showed up at Fred Phelp’s private residence in Kansas and has burned down his garage. That’s just crazy! The Phelp’s are all screaming that it was arson, and I’m not too sure one could technically call Satan an Arsonist! The King of Flame, the Grand Poo-Bah of Charbroil, perhaps! But calling him an Arsonist?! Technically, that’s just wrong!

Face it: Jesus doesn’t like Red States. God the Father has not been kind to any of those Bible Thumpers in Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana or Texas. Even the Republicans in Iowa have been timid after the flooding they’ve had down there! But when you’ve coerced your family to show up at funerals for those who’ve died in Iraq and distributed signs that are screaming “GOD HATES FAGS!!” I just can’t help believe the Phelps’ unintentional “marshmallow roast” was inspired by Divine Intervention. Only in this case, Satan was simply the “Divine Tool” who carried it out!

2.) The latest rumor out there is from Bil Browning of the Bilerico Project who’s claiming that the proverbial cat is out of the bag: “Obama will announce Wednesday – Evan Bayh (R-IN) is my Veep“. This is also a nightmare for me because I happen to think Evan Bayh is really hot and I need time to Image Google Senator Bayh!

A little personal secret here: I have a very eclectic collection of personal “porn”. It doesn’t contain nude photos of anorexic chicky-chicky 20 year old boys where one could find more hair off a half a grape than on their paper-white chests. No, I’m a gay man – and I love men! Whether they’re wearing a nice pair of Chinos at a beach party or their standing next to the the future President Barack Obama… I’m there and I think that’s very sexy.

In the ninties – it was Bill and Al, and they were pretty hot. Al is still pretty hot! Bill? Hrmm… Maybe not so much. But Evan Bayh?!?! va va voom Baby..!! Who can turn down that dimple and that baby-face?!?!

Now close your eyes and think: “You’re laying back and he’s opened the door. He smiles and begins unlacing that neck-tie….he grins at you while his eyes crinkle and he slowly pops open that top collar button. He asks; “How are you?” while he sheds that dark jacket. And you get the first scent of his masculine hygene…Yes, he’s an aftershave man… You smile back at him and your hand reaches up to greet him as he sits on the sofa you’re laying on. You fingers touch the crisp, slightly starched feel of his shirt – he grins again and pops open another button…”

You see what I mean? “Fruit Fly Porn 101”!!

I’m still an “Al Gore Man”. Even though I’m not bitter, Tipper can just kiss my ass.

And finally,
3.) The screaming from the GOP as Congress wraps up and the lack of attention from that Liberal Media on who’s saying what!

Now that’s a dilemma! I need some sexy photos for my private porn collection to include Evan Bayh. There’s all that juicy-fun to talk about Fred Phelp’s charred hand-held Toro garden-tiller. Meanwhile, there’s also the fun that Michele Bachmann getting scorched (again) with Keith Olbermann’s Countdown winning Second Place on tonight’s episode of “Worst Person in the World”!

Let’s start with Steny Hoyer, the House Majority leader and overall lackey for the DNC

“A smattering of House Republicans are engaging in stunts on the House floor in a transparent political effort to manufacture headlines. Meanwhile, most of their Republican colleagues returned home burdened with trying to explain why they blocked efforts to combat high gas prices. ‡Republicans voted against expanding drilling in Alaska, ‡against promoting renewable energy, ‡against establishing the first new vehicle efficiency standards in 32 years, ‡against repealing taxpayer subsidies for major oil companies that are making record profits, ‡against cracking down on price gouging, and ‡against curbing excessive speculation in energy markets.

“For six years, Republicans controlled every branch of government and did nothing while America became more dependent on foreign sources of oil. House Republicans now want to dust off old proposals, rejected by Congress on a bipartisan basis as bad ideas, and claim they have put forward ‘solutions’.

“Democrats today are pro-actively offering short-term solutions to high costs at the pump, as well as a long-term strategy to break our dependence on foreign oil. It’s a shame Republicans are more interested in playing games than enacting real solutions.”

Now, at first blush – this statement looks like he’s telling more tall tales than John McCain while secretly meeting at a Klu Klux Klan rally! While the emphasis’ are all mine, including those really cool double-cross symbols that I found. Does the GOP pay attention to anything but themselves?! Talk about narcissism in politics! But, the more the GOP bitches at the Democratic Leadership in Congress, the more they’re getting their teeth kicked by by the facts!

Michele Bachmann
Minnesota has been embarrassed a lot in the past ten years or so. We elected that idiot Jesse Ventura…Then there was that really weird fluke when Norm Coleman’s dump-truck of a campaign ends up winning his election all because some airplane pilot was weirdly too sleepy to fly our beloved Paul Wellstone on up to Eveleth…

GASP!!: Does anybody remember when Norm Coleman, immediately after the Paul Wellstone funeral services promised to…be a 99% improvement over Paul Wellstone?! Norm Coleman’s promise to Wellstone’s KOA was obviously offered in exchange for a job. After seven years, the only job he accomplished was performing routine hand-jobs for the current President of the United States.

Embarrassing to believe the hype back then, I know. But then, there was Patty Whetterling who couldn’t hire a decent campaign manager to save her soul and we ended up with a boat load of political losers – with Michele Bachmann as the pathetic rotted-cherry on the top of our Political Shit Sundae:

Nice. The “Lobotomized One” gets only 2nd place tonight. (Mental note: Find a website on who’s been listed on Worst Person in the World more than Michele Bachmann, exempting Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes, Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh and Karl Rove.) She blabs away that the Dems are so tight, that they block tax breaks for wind and solar power and here she’s caught (again) lying not only about the fact, but the omission that she herself voted to block tax breaks….for wind and solar power.

I’m fustrated at two Democrats in Minnesota right now: Al Franken and Elwyn Tinklenburg! Both of whom are proving that they can’t run a campaign any better than Patty Whetterling could. But I digress. It’s embarrassing enough that the New York Observer is saying that “Franken is looking like the Olllie North of 2008“.

The GOP is running out of Congress hoping nobody is paying attention to their record. It’ll probably work, but only because genetically — I’m a pessimist.

From Think Progress via DumpMichele Bachmann:

Boehner strong-armed his own conservative members to ensure a bill didn’t pass because he wanted to engage in today’s political theatrics. After killing a bill that would have addressed gas prices, House conservatives have decided they want to blow hot air in the dark.

Rep. Adam Putnam (R-FL) said, “This band of brothers here is staying late to make a point to the American people: We want to work.” His colleagues then chanted: “Work, work, work.” Putnam has quickly forgotten the conservatives’ record of leading the Do Nothing Congress in 2006. The 109th Congress met for fewer days than the infamous 80th Congress that Harry Truman reviled as “do nothing” in 1948:

“The 109th Congress vies for the title of the all-time worst Congress,” said Thomas Mann, a political analyst at the Brookings Institution and co-author of “The Broken Branch” with Ornstein. Mann’s indictment of the 109th includes these charges: “It spent little time in session, it failed to pass budget resolutions and appropriations bills, there was no serious oversight of the disaster in Iraq, there were no major substantive policy achievements, and corrupt members were forced from Congress.”

Rep. Tom Price (R-GA) finally brought the six-hour talk-a-thon to a conclusion today by leading the group in an a capella rendition of “God Bless America.”

Bachmann isn’t finished. In an unedited video she’s rushed on to YouTube that looks like it was shot with her gay husband Marcus holding the camera in one hand and masturbating with the other.

Bachmann looks like that busty woman with the bright red satin top that’s four sizes too small selling the language learning “Rosetta Stone” software. Bachmann acts like a drunk chick at a frat party while she goes giddy for the Mega-Beer Bust Night at Stub n Herbs. “Barack Obama is apparently a crazy man talking about deflated Bridgestones behind a cage-full of radials..!” How can you possibly be so giddy and laughing while spewing so many lies?!

All of this is just plain wrong. Bachmann can bitch about Obama’s ideas, can’t someone bitch at her about her own boss, Steny Hoyer’s memo on his website?

Does Congresswoman Bachmann have any interest in including in her video that the combined profits made by the Oil Companies last year alone was more than Canada’s Gross Domestic Profit? That’s Canada! The second largest country on the planet! In fact, over the next 5 years, Big Oil will receive over $32 billion dollars in tax payer subsidies, tax breaks, and other hand-outs!! While we’re paying HUGE amounts for gasoline, the government is giving the same company HUGE amounts of our tax-dollars, while Michele Bachmann giggles and bounces in front of her masturbating husband holding a video camera and mocks Barack Obama for being what she insinuates as a crazy person for suggesting anything!

Can you spell “Shrill”?!

Grab your calculator and check this out:

  • Tax breaks = $23.2 billion
  • Royalty relief = $3.8 billion
  • Research and development subsidies = $1.6 billion
  • Accounting gimmicks = $4.3 billion

This money goes to Big Oil – flat out. Nobody bitches about it…Even Michele Bachmann doesn’t care about any of it. Those billions are my dollars and your dollars. Bachmann jiggles and giggles at Barack Obama while she proudly insists that we remain slaves to Big Oil.

Note: Not one single penny of the money in that list includes what you’re paying at the pump.

…And here’s Bachmann and her gay husband shooting a video of her laughing at Barack Obama…

Here’s Barack Obama’s reply to “The Lobotomized” in Minnesota’s 6th:

  1. They know they’re lying …about my energy policy

  2. They’re making fun of a step that every expert says…would absolutely reduce our oil consumption by 3 and 4 percent!

It’s like these guys take pride in being ignorant!!

Ya know?!

They think it’s funny…that they’re making fun of something … that is actually true!

They need to do their homework! ..Because this is serious business!

Instead of running ads about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, they should go talk to some energy experts and actually make a difference!!

John McCain caught in a YouTube lie

He’s having a difficult time, especially with all of the Internets out there keeping tabs on him. These Republicans haven’t got the memo that says “When you’re bullshitting your audience – They have YouTube and you and your lie will be found out!!”

In a move that’s reminiscent of George Allen’s “Mecaca Moment“, McCain has been caught lying about his support for African American’s equal rights and his alleged support of a national Martin Luther King Jr holiday. John Amato over at Crooks & Liars has McCain on the run, and I’m getting a kick out of it.

Amato does his homework:

McCain Defended Opposition Of Federal MLK Holiday By Saying He Supported Arizona’s State Holiday. During a press availability in Panama City, Florida, John McCain said, “I have supported hundreds of pieces of legislation, which would help Americans obtain an equal opportunity in America. I am proud of that record, from fighting for the recognition of Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday in my state to sponsoring specific legislation that would prevent discrimination in any shape or form in America today.” [McCain Press Availability In Panama City, Florida, 8/1/08]

  • FACT: McCain Supported Republican AZ Governor’s Decision To Rescind MLK Holiday. ABC News reported, “In Arizona, a bill to recognize a holiday honoring MLK failed in the legislature, so then-Gov. Bruce Babbitt, a Democrat, declared one through executive order. In January 1987, the first act of Arizona’s new governor, Republican Evan Mecham, was to rescind the executive order by his predecessor to create an MLK holiday. Arizona’s stance became a national controversy. McCain backed the decision at the time.” [ABC News, 4/3/08]
  • FACT: McCain Supported Gov. Evan Mecham’s Decision In 1987 To Rescind Martin Luther King Jr. Day. As reported by the Philadelphia Inquirer, “In a vote likely to haunt him for the rest of his public career, executive order creating a state holiday for King, but later reversed his position.” [Philadelphia Inquirer, 6/16/08] McCain voted against 1983 legislation establishing the third Monday in January as the federal holiday marking King’s birthday. Back home in Arizona, he supported Gov. Evan Mecham’s decision in 1987 to rescind an
  • FACT: McCain Voted Against Creating Martin Luther King Holiday. In 1983, McCain voted against a motion to suspend the rules and pass a bill to designate the third Monday of every January as a federal holiday in honor of the late civil rights leader, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The motion passed 89-77. [HR 3706, Vote 289, 8/2/83; CQ 1983]

Oops… Great Grandpaw McCain might get started on that Aricept prescription pretty soon!

Amato isn’t willing to let him off the hook either. Amato then gets a video from a fan who’s edited the even with three different camera shots.

Watching McCain crumble for that long pregnant moment while he’s walking to the lie is priceless. Especially when he says “lowering taxes” as the second greatest reason he supports the African American voters. By that time, you can see his brain is in overload and then he steps right on into the lie.

I mean, he could have said; “When I was a teenager, I almost fought against slavery by joining the Yankees and fighting in the South! But, I had my high school prom night coming up…and…and… Ummm… I had to give my mustang a good brushing …and… Ummmmmmm…. I didn’t go fight after all…”

And that would be a story that I would believe!!!

McCain…What a Ditz.