Watermelon Abuse: My Battle for Purity

Human LeaguePlease, stop the abuse. Think of the innocent watermelons! Because everytime you touch your melons, an angel loses its wings…

h/t Jesus’ General. The famous heterosexual who’s always looking out for The Lord’s best interests.

Ditto Heads: Mary Rassmussen is a big fat Idiot

Here’s Minnesota’s Star Tribune “Liberal Press” at its finest.  Featured as The Letter of the Day, Mary Rassmussen of Farmington writes this piece of work entitled “To understand the real Rush, tune in to his radio show“:

I used to harbor an irrational hatred of Rush Limbaugh. I had never listened to him; I had no logical reason to hate him. I had listened to Democrats’ lies. The Feb. 9 article about Rush continued to spew disinformation. Much of what Rush says, such as calling himself “America’s truth detector,” is tongue-in-cheek, designed to irritate liberals. His comment that he hopes President Obama fails was taken out of context — he just wants Obama’s plans to fail. The writers of this article would know that if they listened to him.

These first three sentances reaks of lies.  “I used to harbor an irrational hatred of Rush…I had listened to Democrats’ lies. Yeah, right; and I have an irrational hatred for Ditto Heads who think Democrats are far more gullible than they are.

fruitfly21But it’s this sentence that made me fall of my chair: “His comment that he hopes President Obama failes was taken out of context — he just wants Obama’s plans to fail.” Ahh!!!  I see!  There’s a difference then?!

You see,  Rush (and apparently Mary Rassmussen of Farmington and her entire Ditto Headed fraternity) wants this Stimulus Package to fail so millions more Americans will lose their jobs.  Rush and Mary Rassmussen of Farmington wants the US Dollar to collapse so a loaf of bread will cost her $1,200 and a gallon of gas will run on the sale price of $6,245 a gallon!  Rush and Mary Rassmussen of Farmington are thrilled  by the notion of Americans standing  in long  soup-lines across this country.  What a joy to know that Rush and Mary Rassmussen hates Obama  so much – that they’ll stand and applaued when they hear the news that millions of children have been turned out of their homes because of starvation and destitution in our country.

Hooray!!!!  And Why does Rush and Mary Rassmussen want Obama’s policies to fail?! Why?!  Because, by jove!  …That’ll teach every damned American that Obama is NO GOOD!  …That his policies are WRONG! And Obama is just BAD FOR AMERICA!

Rush and Mary Rassmussen apparently, don’t want Obama to fail…  Oh No!!  That would be taking Rush Limbaugh out of context!!   No – they just want Obama’s policies to fail.  Because that would prove once Human Leagueand for all that Rush and Mary Rassmussen of Farmington, Minnesota are proud, decent and patriotic , flag waivin’ Americans!!

Fucking dumbasses…  Sheeshe.

And that, my friends, was the fucking Letter of the Day for the Minneapolis Star Tribune!

Sam Seder’s spamming for his own show on MSNBC

stop_spamRight about the time Al Franken dropped his show and decided to get serious about running for office, Sam Seder got a big bump by filling Franken’s time-slow on Air America. (I think I’m correct in that time logistic.) Missing my beloved time with Franken, well – Seder just couldn’t fill that hole in my broken heart. I missed Al and I missed learning all that Al taught me. Listening to Al’s show, I felt like a little kid sitting on the floor while “Uncle Al” taught me everything I needed learn about politics, and why it was okay for me to call myself a liberal.

And here comes Sam Seder. A man who never missed an opportunity to yell at some random caller.housefly.jpg

Yelling?! Screaming?!? Huh?

Being gay and living in a gay house-hold – we don’t yell. Yelling is for beasts, troglodytes and apparently for people like Sam Seder. I can’t really single him out – have you ever listened to Randi Rhodes show?! Holy crow! She’ll yell and scream like a freakin’ banshee. When she starts, I turn off my radio faster than a long distance phone-call and immediately break out singing songs I learned when I was a third grader at summer camp. All I’m saying is that Seder didn’t help my broken heart – what he did do was look for the opportunity for the next unsuspecting soul to come along and disagree with him and he was back screaming in all capital letters.

sam-sederThen there’s something to be said about his looks. He’s freaking adorable. I just wanna clunk him over the head and drag him into the backseat of my Dad’s restored ’57 Chevy and have my way with him for an hour. He’s just plain cute. Of course he’s straight, I know that. But since he apparently likes to kiss girls instead of boys – I’d be resolved to use every gay man’s secret weapon of choice in seducing a str8 guy: A six pack of beer.

gqbLook out Seder! I know you’ll be reading this… Whatever you do… Don’t freaking drink any beer handed to you by a gay guy!! Once that six-pack of suds is finished, you’ll feel this uncontrollable urge to “ditch the bitch” and proudly wear a giant tricked out name badge spelling out “Rump Ranger“.

I’m remembering now… Yes… It’s becoming clearer…

It was during the time when Air America Radio (XM) was deciding what to do with this empty time slot that Al Franken vacated. They were leaning towards Ed Shultz’s show while Seder who had his Sunday (Majority Report) show was encouraging folks to call XM and demand the empty slot goes to Seder and not to Big Eddie. Seder was a “Radio Temp” and filled the slot while the Air America XM execs had to decide between Shultz or Seder…

Big Eddie (Shultz) meanwhile, lost it on the air. By that time, he was fuming over Air America’s waffling on deciding who would be Franken’s successor. I was channeling Big Eddie and blogged that Sam Seder must have been jealous. What a major mistake that was. Holy crap!!

Some dude calling himself MRRFAN (obviously it was Sam Seder) was pissed that I would even imply his jealously. Oh my Lordie!! I’m channeling Ed Shultz, making assumptions and here’s Seder screaming in my other ear about a stupid assumption about his jealousy!

I had to go back and post-edit my “channeling” blog – declare publicly that I had made an assumption…. The “Screaming Seder” wasn’t going to let me get off the hook that easily. He took me behind the proverbial woodshed and beat me within an inch of my life.

I was terrified within an inch of my life!

Well, that was two years ago. And every once in a while, I get an email from Sam Seder asking me to click here, give money there…whatever. Seder’s one of those folks that puts your email address on their “Super Spammer List” thinking that my alleged dime-sized world twirls around the anticipation just to hear from them whenever they have a bug in their ear. …Which comes to my point: <pant><puff><pant pant><puff><puff>


Spammer Sam is spamming folks to support the idea of him getting a show of his own immediately following Rachel Maddow, who has a show immediately following Keith Olbermann. Now, since I live in Central Standard Time – that would mean Sam Seder would be in the 10:00PM time-slot and let me think… who’s on at ten o’clock… hrmmmm….

Oh yeah! This Dude!

dailyshowCute and Adorable Sam Seder spams my email with this ditty:


Some of my listeners have suggested I would be a good candidate to take that slot. I’m saying to myself, “What the hell, Obama says we need some stimulus. Maybe I can help.” So, to gauge support for the idea I’m inviting you to join a Facebook group. To join, just click on the link below and then join the group.

Hey MSNBC – Bring Sam Seder To 10:00PM ET

Once you join the group you’ll get updates about how else you can help.

It is important to have more progressive voices challenging the Right and the establishment media.

Aww… C’mon, Spamming Sam!!! (Why do I feel a Dr. Seuss story coming on right about now?) You’re going to get all of your cyber-buddies to sign up some roster in an effort to show the execs at MSNBC that you have an freakin’ audience?!vomit

Dude! Your audience ditched you when you yelled at all of them!

I dunno, I feel resigned. …Perhaps it’s late.  I know they tried to put that goof-ball Chris (Tweety) Matthew’s Hardball show up after Maddow and nobody watched him (because he’s a right-wing tool-job) and everybody flocks on over to watch Stewart (a.k.a. “Stewie” in our household). What would I expect from Seder’s show? A bunch of yelling?!

We’re gay. We don’t yell!! And neither should you!!

Gay guys don’t scream nor do they yell! I know I’ve already said that, but I can’t stress my point enough!

You’re only allowed to scream and yell if;

  • You get tickets to Barbara Streisand, George Micheal, Liza Minelli or Cher concert
  • Your drag-queen husband* just finished performing a perfect lip-synch impression of Barbara Streisand, Liza Minelli or Cher
  • Your Nude Bears bowling team won the regionals
  • Your brand-new boyfriend is hung like a race-horse and you’re proud to call yourself a Bottom.

So you see – I simply don’t care if Sam gets his MSNBC show or not. We’re sticking with Stewie


Chalk up a new rule when we’re allowed to yell at someone! Jiminy Crickets..! <pant><puff><pant pant><puff><puff>

Post Editing Thought: Sam Seder has once again appeared on my political radar screen. This time, on DailyKos. It’s a 10 minute piece where he shouts down his opponent with his “Delicate Best.”

He’s yelling 99.9% of the time!!!

Stop yelling at people, Sam! Please stop the Yelling!!Human League

* According to the “Super Gay Dictionary of Everything Accurate and True“; A gay man’s life partner is called a “husband” unless the life person is in drag. At that point, the life partner is technically called a “wife”. Unless the life partner is a lesbian. A lesbian life partner in drag is technically called a “husband”. I just thought it might be important to clarify that point.

2009 Mens Fashion Show – Paris/Milan: My moment of Ugh!

All of these big industry tycoons in front of Congress – begging for cash, or explaining why they spent the cash we gave them foolishly. It makes you wonder what new industry will be begging for those welfare checks next!

I think I have the answer right here: The Mens Fashion Show recently held in Paris and Milan. Click on this fashion piece I’ve posted to get started. But before you go down this journey, let me offer you a complimentary high fashioned barf bag:

barfbag_2Trust me – you’ll need it…

Fashion Forward and then some

Any room left in that barf bag?! At least you can’t say I didn’t warn ya! And to think, I posted the one that was the most tame. The weired “head gear” thing was way over the top. Ugh!!
Suspicious Character

…Maybe these designers were all Republicans… Hrmmm… If they were Democrats, you’d see a lot of comfortable jeans, pull-over sweaters…maybe smoking a joint. …laughing while flipping the finger waving the peace-sign at the camera-man…

WHAT?!? I’m just sayin…!!

CEO of Peanut Company refuses to testify – Are we surprised?

mr-peanutStewart Parnell, CEO of the Peanut Corp of America, is pleading the 5th Amendment and refusing to talk before a House Subcommittee. His plant manager, Sammy Lightsey is also pleading the 5th.

WASHINGTON – The owner of a peanut company refused to testify to Congress on Wednesday amid the disclosure that he urged his workers to ship bacteria-tainted products, pleading with federal health officials that he should be able “turn the raw peanuts on the floor into money.”

Stewart Parnell, owner of Peanut Corp. of America, repeatedly invoked his right not to incriminate himself before the House subcommittee holding a hearing on a national salmonella outbreak blamed on his company. The outbreak has sickened some 600 people, may be linked to nine deaths — the latest reported in Ohio on Wednesday — and has resulted in one of the largest product recalls of more 1,800 items.

These guys knowingly shipped out a tainted product and consequently killing people…to save money?! But, since Karl Rove assumes a free pass on testifying before Congress, along with Harriett Meyers and Josh Bolton, one can see how tempting it would be to follow suit.

FruitFlyIt’s time Congress simply round up all of these criminals, lock ’em up and drop the keys in Davy Jones’ locker.

If you need, the Salmonella Blog lists all of the recalled lot numbers from the Peanut Corp of America. Grab your Skippy jars and go have a look!

Michael Steele is an Idiot – Possibly a bigger Idiot than Bush!

Yup!! Those Republicans..! They put their noodles together and “himmed and hawed” for a while and decided once again to elect “The Smart One” to be the Chairman of the RNC. It wasn’t bad enough that they wheeled out an ancient fossil like John McCain to be their Presidential nominee, but when the fossilized-dust has settled, they decided once again to vote for the dimmest bulb in the chandelier factory: Michael Steele.

To quote the Templar Knight in “Indiana Jones; The Last Crusade“: “They chose poorly.”

michael-steeleYou can click on the “Duh!” to watch the video in exchange of my own personal play-by-play… My buddy Sam Stein at the Huffington Post has the transcript:

STEELE: You’ve got to look at what’s going to create sustainable jobs. What this administration is talking about is making work. It is creating work.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But that’s a job.

Leave it to the Republican Media to give the guy a helping hand… “Work” is indeed, a freaking “Job”.

STEELE: No, it’s not a job. A job is something that — that a business owner creates. It’s going to be long term. What he’s creating…

STEPHANOPOULOS: So a job doesn’t count if it’s a government job?

Okay, I’m popping pop-corn – who’s got the Diet Coke?

STEELE: Hold on. No, let me — let me — let me finish. That is a contract. It ends at a certain point, George. You know that. These road projects that we’re talking about have an end point.

As a small-business owner, I’m looking to grow my business, expand my business. I want to reach further. I want to be international. I want to be national. It’s a whole different perspective on how you create a job versus how you create work. And I’m — either way, the bottom line is…

STEPHANOPOULOS: I guess I don’t really understand that distinction.

HA! Stephanopoulos doesn’t understand the distinction – as well as anybody else! (Including Steele, apparently.)

STEELE: Well, the difference — the distinction is this. If a government — if you’ve got a government contract that is a fixed period of time, it goes away. The work may go away. That’s — there’s no guarantee that that — that there’s going to be more work when you’re done in that job.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Yes, but we’ve seen millions and millions of jobs going away in the private sector just in the last year.

Here’s when you start up the Twilight Zone theme song when the Republican “Brain-Child” responds with:

STEELE: Well, the difference — the distinction is this. If a government — if you’ve got a government contract that is a fixed period of time, it goes away. The work may go away. That’s — there’s no guarantee that that — that there’s going to be more work when you’re done in that job.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Yes, but we’ve seen millions and millions of jobs going away in the private sector just in the last year.

It’s Republican Speak: Call up Rush Limbaugh and beg him to tell you when you should open your mouth and tell you want to say. Before Michael Steele shoves his foot in his mouth and says “Gooney Goo-Goo“.

FruitFlyQuick! Somebody tell RNC Chair Michael Steele that America has seen millions of “work disappear”  These are “work” that business owners have created and it’s “work” that’s reached an end-point!!  It isn’t government “work” that’s disappeared – it’s private sector “work”!!!

How long will Conservative Liberal Media paddle around these Conservative Clowns before they realize that the rest of America has turned them off too?

That’s Incredible! – And my name isn’t Fran Tarkenton!

The GOP now admires the Taliban?!

talibanThe Republican Party seems to have simply gone off their nut that coincides with the 2006 mid-term elections. More often than not, we’re confronted with a “Political Oddity of the Week” coming from the depths of the Republican gullet.

Sure – the GOP could say the same thing about Democrats and we’d have to agree to some extent.

  • Governor Elliott Spitzer (D-NY), carrying an extra load of hot-headedness on prostitution in that state, get’s caught with very expensive whores on a regular basis.
  • Also, Goobernator, Rod Blagojevich (D-IL), auctioning off an empty Senate Seat vacated by the newly sworn-in President Barack Obama.

..The Dumbasses.

But I’m not talking about small time juvenile crap like bribes and adultery. If I were, I’d be spending the next forty-five minutes blabbering on endlessly about Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) being found guilty for 37-counts of bribery or Senator David Vitter (R-LA) who was getting wrapped in a diaper by the gentle hands of the DC Madam. Let’s just remember the rule shall we?

“If Democrats are accused, they are to be impeached or dismissed immediately. If Republicans are accused they can either simply Apologize and go back to work – or they can risk all of it by going to a trial in front of a jury of their peers.”

What I’m talking about is the GOP really falling off their GOP-nut by acting out and saying the craziest things imaginable and it just makes you want to scratch your scalp and think:

“Hrmmm…You know – since I stopped using Selsun Blue, my scalp itches a whole lot more than usual!”

adkissonJuly 27, 2008 Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church had the congregation’s children on the stage performing the play Anne. Jim D. Adkisson busted in on the church carrying a 12-gauge #4 semi-automatic sawed-off shotgun, yelling and screaming about “the Gays” and how much he hates “Liberals”. The church later, held funerals for two of their faithful flock and seven others were nursed back to their health from their injuries.

One man who was killed, was labled as a hero: (Greg McKendry) turned on the shooter and stood there taking the full-force of the blast shielding everybody else. His little granddaughter was showered with blood. At that close range, McKendry’s body would have been simply ripped in half. The jury is still out on how many of those pint-sized performers on the stage will carry the trauma Adkisson caused on that bright Sunday morning.

From the stage, they (the children on the stage singing the “Good ship, Lollipop!”) saw a gunman pull a sawed-off shotgun out of a guitar case and fire three deadly blasts that covered their friends and relatives in blood before congregants wrestled him to the ground.


“You’ve got kids that were covered in blood. There were kids that watched their grandparents in a pool of blood and they were screaming and running down the hall in blood,” Jones said. “They saw so much.”

It was a terrorist act of course. The sheriff on the case stated that Adkisson simply hated liberals!

In a four-page letter police found in his small SUV in the church parking lot, Adkisson said he attacked the church because “he hated the liberal movement,” Police Chief Sterling Owen said.

Democratic Party ShootingAug 13, 2008Timothy Dale Johnson walked into the Arkansas Democratic National Convention headquarters in Little Rock and demanded to see Arkansas DNC Chair Bill Gwatney. He was refused passage, so he barged in anyway and shot and killed Gwatney a close range. Johnson, fired from his job at a local Target store, scrawled hate-graffitti on the men’s restroom wall – complaining about liberals.

Another Republican terrorist. He led the police on a chase and ended up losing his life from injuries received from the police during the chace.

Said R. Neal of the Knoxviews:

You know, after the Knoxville church shooting and now this, I am actually starting to worry a little. It could be that Democrats and other conservative movement opposition are going to have to start taking all the hateful remarks and veiled threats more seriously, especially if they are directed at individuals and especially if there is any specificity.

My thoughts exactly.

The religious conservatives share the same terrorist views as their political conservatives. While Tom Tancredo (R-CO) called for the bombing of Mecca to “shatter the Muslim center“, Reverend Rod Parsley, pastor of the 13,000 mega church in Columbus, OH has repeatedly called for the destruction of the Muslim faith.

Parsley says there is a war and he wants bigger war, as America can only “fulfill its divine purpose” by seeing to it that Islam, “this false religion, is destroyed.” Though he spells out no specific strategy, he writes things like, “We find now we have no choice. The time has come” to destroy “this anti-Christ religion,” inspired by demons who spoke to Allah.

You might say; “Okay, okay…! Fruit! Listen to me! The world is full of crazy people! Quit trying to be ‘Pink Floyd’ and comb through the audience screaming ‘Get him up against the wall!

And….!!!! (Take a deep breath!!!) …I would have to agree with you!!

When I was a little kid, I actually caught my older brother trying to count how many knuckles on one finger he could shove up his left nostril.
And I thought to myself at that time:

“Fruit! Throughout your life, you will always find people who are dumber than that Dipshit over there with his finger up his nose!”

Ladies and Gentleman: We have finally arrived.

Yesterday, Pete Sessions (R-TX), Chair of the National Republican Congressional Committee, told a group of fellow Republicans that the Republican Party, needed to “understand insurgency” in implementing efforts to offer alternatives.“.

They’re feeling rather impotent at this moment because of the fucking whopper of a financial crises that they begged our American dollar to endure….

It’s the American Taliban defined by the GOP:

“Insurgency, we understand perhaps a little bit more because of the Taliban,” Sessions said during a meeting yesterday with Hotline editors. “And that is that they went about systematically understanding how to disrupt and change a person’s entire processes. And these Taliban — I’m not trying to say the Republican Party is the Taliban. No, that’s not what we’re saying. I’m saying an example of how you go about [sic] is to change a person from their messaging to their operations to their frontline message. And we need to understand that insurgency may be required when the other side, the House leadership, does not follow the same commands, which we entered the game with.”

Huh?! Are you interpreting the message the same way that I am? The Chair of the NRCC, Congressman Pete Sessions (R-TX) is admiring the Freaking Taliban?!?!

Wait! Wait! Wait!! Before you feel compelled to shove your finger up your nose and begin counting knuckles!

Sessions actually makes the threat:

“If they (Pilosi, Reid, Obama, Democrats) do not give us those options or opportunities then we will then become insurgency of a nature to where we do those things that are necessary to making sure the American public knows what we think the correct answer is,” Sessions said during the 60-minute interview. “So we either work together, or we’re going to find a way to get our message out.

padillaDoes anybody remember this kid named Jose Padilla? He’s this American punk with a big mouth. He got out of prison for some petty thing he had done.  Being a hothead, he began shooting his mouth off in the Chicago ghettos about making a dirty bomb and killing George W. Bush. It was like, he was washing dishes at some restaurant and he’d be saying:

“Yeah – I hate that M%@#$ President Boosh!  Maaannnn…If I could, I would put a cap in his ass…”

He was arrested, thrown into a SC military prison and held – without an attorney for three and a half years years.  As if the United States Constitution didn’t even exist.

So, is there anybody out there who thinks Congressman Pete Sessions (R-TX) deserves anything less than Padilla?  Please raise your hand. (Preferably the hand that isn’t already occupied with your olfactory.)

The GOP has fallen off their nut!! And what’s really strange…They actually sound, look like and act like – the very same Taliban that George W Bush declared war against seven years ago!

FruitFly 6

Asked to assess the political landscape for the midterms, Sessions suggested that the NRCC will back the best candidates in each district — as opposed to targeting support to specific contests, as the group has done previously. He noted that Democrats hold seats in 83 districts that President Bush won in 2000 or 2004, showing that the GOP has opportunities, despite the party’s losses in the last two cycles.

Sessions said he believes Republicans can take back the House.

“We believe our job is to aim to win the majority,” Sessions said. “I’ve never aimed to come in second place.”

Hopefully, Congressman Sessions isn’t aiming a 12-gauge #4 semi-automatic sawed-off shotgun at someobody’s grand-daughter.

New job-offer came through for GWB: Retail Door Greeter

chuckie monkeyIn the smaller print on The Raw Story, this caught my eye: Dallas store wants Bush as door greeter I was hoping it was a WalMart, but I was close!

If George W. Bush wants some useful occupation for those long, post-presidential workdays, Dallas’ own Elliott’s Hardware has an offer ready: Come be our greeter!

Elliott’s advises of the offer in a press release, but they assure us that they have already directly appealed for the former president and new Highland Park resident directly:

“[W]e are offering the position to Mr. Bush in all sincerity,” said Kyle Walters, Elliott’s Hardware president & CEO. “We think it would be a great fit for him as he settles back into life in Dallas.”

w-badgeCan you imagine walking into Elliott’s Hardware and seeing GW standing there waiting for the opportunity to shake your hand. If I find out he’s working there, I swear to God, I’ll find one of those hand buzzers and drive to Dallas myself and find this store.

Really, it’s a match made in heaven. GWB is a people-kinda-guy with a great memory for names and faces – exactly the sort of person to make you feel welcome when you’re looking for a toilet flange or a socket wrench.

FruitFly 6
Nice! Actually, I was thinking of a ball-peen hammer, electric hedge-clippers, a garden hose, a car battery complete with jumper cables and an outdoor grill. Seeing GWB standing there grinning at me while holding all of those hardware purchases would make me feel really welcome! Really!

Peggy Noonan: You’re a freaking Idiot!

newbiesWhy am I not surprised?  I’m channel surfing while eating my Cheerios this morning and I whizzed by the CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) that apparently shares airtime on the Disney Channel.  Just enough to see that famous Hate Monger Pat Robertson on the 700 Club break away to an interview with Peggy Noonan.  Now you know me – If there’s a “liberal journalist” out there, I wanna hear what they have to say!

Scott Ross, the 700 Club geek gets to conduct the interview – Let’s see what this “liberal journalist” has to say, shall we?

Peggy: I am patriotic. I like these days, to draw the line between patriotism and nationalism. Patriotism is love of county. Nationalism is breast beating ‘we are number 1 and we can kick your butt.’ Look, politically, we want to be a great nation. We want Washington to stop, breathe in, resettle itself, and realize we are in a key moment.

Scott: OK, can we give Barack the benefit of the doubt at this point?

Obama has been in office less than sixteen days and they’re wondering whether or not they should cut him some slack?

Peggy: Look, he is a new president. Fifty-three percent of people voted for him, 46 did not – and did not in the time of two wars and economic collapse. So, you’ve got to realize that’s a lot of not support for Obama – 56 million people. What do you owe your new president? Grace. Give him a chance. Pray for him, seriously. Hope that as he prospers, we prosper. Hope that a new wisdom will come upon him as sometimes happens with a president.

Now you can go look at the original transcript and you can see for yourself that the word “not” is in italics and it’s been inserted in the wrong location.  Grammatically, the sentence doesn’t make any sence. “…That’s a lot of not support for Obama”?  She either said “that’s a lot of non-support for Obama” or she said “That’s a lot of support for Obama” and I’m betting she said the latter.  The idiots at the 700 Club screwed it up when they wrote the transcript.

Scott: Where does this leave the GOP? It was probably ‘76 the last time they were beaten this bad in the polls. And the differences between now and then – does this leave the GOP out in the wilderness?

Peggy: Yes.

Scott: They’re out?

Peggy: They are refiguring. There are times in life, in your life and mine, but also in political lives, where a great party has suffered a series of defeats – ’06, ’08; where it has perhaps lost touch with the American people, and where you have to settle down and redefine yourself.

They’re “reconfiguring”!?!  They’re not reconfiguring, Honey – THEY’RE DYING! goptoetag

But Scott’s worried and you see it in his word-choice:

Scott: What are the positives now for the republicans?

Peggy: What are the positives? Well, in a cheap way, you can sit back and criticize the other guy for his stupid decisions. And let’s face it, a republican congress and a republican president have made plenty of mistakes. The fun is also, look – regeneration.

Scott: How do your personal spiritual beliefs inform what you write?

Peggy: I think they inform me as a human being; they inform everything I see and everything I think. I think about God more than I go to church, if you know what I mean. And I think that’s true of so many Christians. God’s on my mind. I ought to pray as much as God’s on my mind, because then I’d pray a lot. All I can tell you is God is real and so that infuses everything.

Ahhh…Now we know why Peggy Noonan has been on the 700 Club some twenty-eight times in the past six years!  She’s a right-winger like the rest of the lot!  She’s  a shill for the Right Wing Machine!

Scott: There are major issues that become political, but are really moral:  abortion, stem-cell research, homosexual marriage. Do you write about these things? Will you write about these things?

Peggy: Oh, sometimes. I wrote most recently about abortion when Obama and McCain were in the Rick Warren interview. However, you remember, there was that key moment when Rick Warren said to each candidate, ‘tell me, at what point does a fetus deserve human rights?’ (Obama video clip: Obama said, “to answer that question with specificity is – above my pay grade.’) I just thought, above your pay grade? Abortion is the issue that will never go away. And every kid in America who buys a condom knows when life begins – do you know what I mean? Buying a pack of condoms tells you, you know exactly when it begins!

WHAT?!?!  Just a few seconds ago she said about Barack Obama: “What do you owe your new president? Grace. Give him a chance. Pray for him, seriously.”  Seriously – You’re criticizing the President for something he said before he was President and you want us to give him a chance?!  Peggy Noon: You’re a freaking idiot!

And you’re wrong Peggy Noonan: Every kid in America buying a condom doesn’t know when life begins, nor does the kid really care.  The only thing going through that overly-hormoned kid when he’s buying a condom is thinking he’s going get laid and see what his girlfriends boobies look like outside of that training bra, you stupid stupid Little Shill.

Shortly after John McCain (R-AZ) announced Sarah “the Pit Bull/Barracuda/Grizzly Mom” Palin (R-AK) last September,  Peggy Noonan was at a luncheon where the topic of McCain’s choice was brought up.  She was heard saying that McCain’s “campaign was “over”.  She went out on a retraction by saying:FruitFly 6

She doesn’t believe McCain can’t win. Indeed, in a message she sent out after the conversation on the MSNBC set made it onto YouTube, she noted that “at an on-the-record press symposium on the campaign on Monday, when all of those on the panel were pressed to predict who would win, I said that I didn’t know, but that we just might find, ‘This IS a country for old men.’ That is, McCain may well win. I do not think the campaign is over, I do not think this is settled …”

Oh Sweet Jesus… She’s not only a Press Whore for the GOP – She’s a certifiable moron.

Now, for something completely different: Blogging for Food

freshfruit1Next month will mark the third year anniversary of my heart attack. While the doctors were fiddling down near the “Crotch of My Nether Regions” by running a catheder up to my ticker, my multi-tasking brain was working on three things at the time: a.) “These guys are dangerously close to my semi-famous “Twigs and Berries” area — and that cardiologist was really cute — should I worry? b.) “I need to get focused and stop smoking — replace that bad habit with something that will be more satisfying” and c.) “I’m hungry for a cheeseburger…with extra salty fries and a giant sized Diet Coke…”

Three days later, I was weak, scared and thankful to be alive. But most of all: I was pathetically happy to be finally at home. Hint: While you’re having a heart attack and the doctors are feverishly working so close to your “Family Junk”, you’re compelled to have these really long talks with God. You don’t bother with “God, The Son”, nor with “God the Holy Spirit”. No, those two are the losers in “Team Holy Trinity”. You go directly to the Big One and shove everybody else the Hell out of your way — even if that includes “The Crucified One”.. You talk to HIM. You have your own “Jesus Moment” and you make commitments and promises…. And you find a way to love each and every heartbeat and each and every breath of fresh air.

That’s the time where I decided to explore Food.

I started with Asian cuisine. Sauted fresh vegetables and seared meat proteins with a great and savory sauce. Then there are the condiments in Asian cooking; rice, egg roll wrappers, spring roll wrappers and teas. The downside to Asian cuisine is their over-the-top-and-crazy obsession with salt. Find me a salt-free diet for Asian cuisine and I’ll find you a little Chinese guy wearing a white-jacket with extra-long sleeves. Fish sauce, Black bean sauce, Oyster sauce, Lobster sauce: Face it Baby – “Salt-Free Chinese” just doesn’t exist. (Unless of course, you’re of Chinese descent and you’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness.)

I became a popular customer at every Oriental grocery maket in the Twin Cities metro area. I learned about new vegetables I had never heard of and I learned about new sauces and vinegars that became packed in our pantry shelves. I even bought a thirty-dollar cast iron wok at the very gay “Kitchen Window” in Calhoun Square that weighs more than a VW Beetle. Without cigarettes, my tongue began to taste new flavors; salts were sharper, sweets were tasting more and more like Jolly Ranchers, and I developed an uncanny ability to smell a cigarette smoker from 80 yards away in the Pasta Aisle…upwind!

I explored Chinese and Thai restaurants throughout the metro area. The best Hot and Sour soup, by the way – Shuang Cheng in Dinkytown next door to the Varsity Theater on 4th St. Everything they make is the best Asian you’ll ever taste, bar none, guaranteed. But their Hot and Sour soup… It’s truly an epiphany for the tongue, the palate and the nose.

(If you go, truthfully: Be sure to tell the owner, Daniel Lam that I said “Hi”. He’ll give you a complimentary fortune cookie if you tell him. He’s like a crazy business man or something.)

I re-learned to bake my own bread. (Which reminds me – I have to feed my sourdough starter in the fridge downstairs. My little critters in that starter have become great great great grandparents by now.) My parents gave me a bread maker years ago when I lived in Atlanta. Mom came to visit packing a vicious recipe for “Applesauce Bread”. By the time we came back to check on the breadmaker’s progress it was already too late. In the immortal words of Dr. Leonard McCoy: “It’s dead, Jim”. So I had to re-learn with a newly ripped-off bread-maker that I took from my own Mom’s “Closet of Kitchen Gadget Horrors”. “She broke mine” translates to “I’m stealing hers!” Fact: In the past three years I’ve conquered sour dough, French baguette and tomato (bread). I still buy our garlic bread packed in a box of 12 baguette loaves at Costco; but “Hey! I could make it if I wanted too!”

I conquered the soil and we grow our own herbs now, including drying and storing. I wash out my husband’s partner’s coffee grinder, stuffed it with my marjoram, sage , or rosemary: I plugged it in and grind those babies until I’ve got mulch. Naturally, I forget to wash out the grinder by simply putting the grinder back in the pantry where I found it.

There’s nothing more pleasurable than hearing my husband life partner in the early hours of the morning take his first sip of coffee….

“ssssssssip…. PHHPHPHPHPHPH


What?! I don’t drink coffee!! Ick!! If I have to remember to wash it out before use – then why can’t he?!

My husband’s partner’s usual grunts and munching sounds since I began this journeey have evolved along with my own cooking. Instead of “Hrmm… Goo…Hrm! <grunt> Hmm… Hm-Himm!! This is good! Where’s the remote? Is Vanna on The Wheel tonight?”; These days, I get “Wow! This has a really great flavor, Hon!! You need to write this one down!! Wow! Hrmm… This is awesome! Where’s the remote…Is Vanna on The Wheel tonight?!”

Which is nice to hear! He sounds genuinely impressed! (Although I think he’s lying… Did you know that henbane was an herb used to poison the enemies of the High Priestess’ in ancient Wiccan culture?!)

I decided to write a new blog – focused on the subject of Food. If I came up with something new in my “Adventures in Cooking”, I decided to publish it instead of storing it in this shareware cookbook databases that I downloaded from the Internet and installed on an old Gateway notebook computer I keep in the kitchen cupboard. Since I spent all of my money on that 3 ton cast iron wok, I had to hacked the $25 license fee on the shareware registration “nag screen” so I could continue to use it. It stores all of my culinary creations! Please don’t tell AOL’s TOS Police.

So without the androgynous moniker of a flying insect, I started a food blog called: “Cooking for Gays“. I have three or four entries up there now, so go on and help yourself to them. Yeah, the name is probably a little lame, but since I’m cooking for just the two of us. I thought: “Why not steal a little love for a play on words?” (We’re not positive, but we’re pretty sure Little Otis isn’t gay. Otherwise, I would be compelled to call the blog; “Cooking for Gays and their Gay Dog”. Since Little Otis had his “Berries” removed when he was only six months old, the best I’ve witnessed on his sexual identity was demonstrated by catching him dry-humping my husband’s partner’s pillow during a rainy Tuesday afternoon. I’m not sure if he was fantasizing that that pillow was a “bitch” or a “stud”. I decided that I didn’t care and that it didn’t matter. What I did decide was that I was never, ever going to tell my husband partner what I witnessed Little Otis doing to his pillow.)

<shrug> What? Are you going to tell me that you would have done something else? Spare me the details, Please!!!

I’ll keep writing here on the Fruit Fly – picking on the Republicans and mocking everybody who dares to disagree with me. I’m still hoping that someone will finally praise me for the appropriateness I FruitFly 6chose for the “song selection” when they click on my portrait. (Yes, every blog entry on the Fruit Fly blog has my “portrait” and if you clicked on it, you’d get a chance to hear my song selection for that entry. …Are you saying that you didn’t know?!)

This will be cross-posted, in case you were wondering.