What’s in a Title? “Killing Spiders with My Shoe”

fructose_boostAttracting the attention of that half of the bloggosphere who’d rather read other people’s blogs than maintain one of their own, requires a little bit of skill.  Flies to sugar-water, bees to honey, if you will.  Step one is to come up with a decent-sounding title for the blog-entry by duping the Blog-Reader to actually pay attention to what you have to say.

Confused?  You might say:

“Fruit!  Oh Snap, Girlfriend!! …What the Hell are you talking about?!”

…And I would have to point to those Communists over at Red State who’s titled a blog entry with this piece:

DNC Chair and Obama lose two council seats in their backyard

Sounds ominous, no?! It’s like: “Uh oh… Who jumped “Team Obama”?!” …and you’re thinking the worst!

Phhh…. Sucker! We’re talking about Redstate, silly! These are “con-servatives”! These people have nothing left but hope (that they can get you to believe their bullshit)!

Who was it that “Obama and the DNC Chair” lost from their backyards?!? From the conservative Jim Geraghty over at National Review:

Boy, how long has it been since I’ve been able to report good news on an election night for Republicans? With results from 26 out of 26 precincts, and absentees included, Republican Frank Fannon and GOP-endorsed independent Alicia Hughes appear to have won seats on the Alexandria City Council. The Democrats will still control a majority of four out of six seats, but this is a couple rippes of red in a deep blue community in a purple state – the best news for local Republicans in a long time.

Wow! Really? This is the **BEST** news for local Republicans in a long time?!

The GOP has won two seats on the city council of Alexandria, Virginia and this is the best news for the Republican party in a long time?  This equals a blog title that says:

DNC Chair and Obama lose two council seats in their backyard?

WOW! How far as the GOP fallen?!

Moe Lane, author of the Redstate blog entry “hits a home-run and wins the pie-eating contest at the county fair” with the follow-up:

But the implications are bigger. Barack Obama won this county 72-27. Senator Mark Warner is from Alexandria. Democratic National Committee Chair Tim Kaine is the Governor of Virginia.

Barack Obama lost today. The Democratic National Committee lost today.

Oh snap!  Color me fuschia and watch me quiva..!

Did they “lose” a 25-year well established US Senator from Pennsylvania today?!  Did they “lose”  another major set-back in a run-off race in Minnesota?

It gets way better.

Mike DeVine, a proud member of Redstate leaves a comment that reads this title:

Is the NCNA listening? Obama is vulnerable now! Let’s

lead NOW from a position of strength rather than go searching for what we stand for on a wussie tour

The NCNA he references is the brand-new organization old-GOP goats have tried to cobble together and effort to re-brand the GOP into something coherent to the American public. Mike “Gamecock” DeVine is pulling for the “National Council for a New America“; a group of Republican clowns that met just last weekend at a pizza joint in Arlington, Virginia.

(Hint: Jeb Bush (R-FL), Eric Cantor (R-Who Cares?) and Mitt Romney (R-Gay Marriage) showed up for pepperoni-pie and then begged Sarah Palin (R-Moose Killer) to join after Boss Limbaugh (R-Pigboy) demanded it from them.)

Is Obama really “volnerable” now?!

Is it really “time to pounce”?!

Hoping to avoid that “Wussie-Tour”?!

It’s a train-wreck of a political party. When I was a child, I was responsible for weeding the garden. Pulling weeds from between the carrots, potatoes, the corn and the strawberry plants was my responsibility. Each subsequent summer season, I felt more and more sympathy for the invading weeds:

They’re just struggling along with the rest of us… Now where is my PB and J Sandwich?!

But that was when I was a child

It’s sad watching a national political party die, seriously. They had their fame – their glory. They had their “Big Hey Day!”. It’s bittersweet watching them fall-off their bicycles without their helmets.  For sixteen-odd years, this is the same political party was thrilled to jump in my face to remind me that their God, and Lord Jesus Christ hated me because I’m gay.  I didn’t support that Iraq War and they claimed that I was being “un-patriotic”.  I didn’t support Bush’s policies towards torture and I was “un-American”.

Today, it’s like having a shoe in your left hand and a can of Raid in your right and taking the time out seconds before you decide the demise of the ominous arachnid crawling on the cement block-wall of your unfinished basement…. The spider stops just for a moment, hiding behind a broom handle and the vaccuum cleaner – and you simply can’t decide how the insect’s life should end: The Trews: Paranoid Freak

Shoe? Raid?  They’re just strugglign along with the rest of us…  Chemicals or squish?!?

[WHACK!!]

Now where’s my PB and J Sandwich?!

Hey!  This is easy..!  I just need to work on my blog titles and I could be more popular than Redstate!!

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