Gimme s’more a’dat “Liberal” Press!!

vomitNBC, ya know!! Gotta love ’em! They just can’t crank out enough of that conservative propaganda bull-crap! Recalling only two years ago, that it was Katie Couric who had Governor Howard Dean on the Today show trying to make the claim that Democrats took money from that slime-ball Jack Abramoff.

COURIC: Hey, wait a second. Democrats took — Democrats took money from Abramoff too, Mr. Dean.

DEAN: That is absolutely false. That did not happen. Not one dime of money from Jack Abramoff went to any Democrat at any time.

After she heaved her lunch up on Howard Dean, she concluded with:

COURIC: Well, we’ll obviously have to look into that and clarify that for our viewers at a later date. Howard Dean, chairman of the Democratic National Committee, Mr. Dean, Governor Dean, thanks so much for talking with us.

Which of course, she never bothered to clarify for the viewers. NBC, CBS, CNN and ABC have been following in Fox Noise’s footsteps like drunken sailors trying to one-up each other on who can be more conservative ever since.

NBC’s Ann Curry is now front and center spewing utter lies about Obama’s pick for “minister du jur” for his Inauguration Day, Rick Warren. It’s bad enough to have Obama pick that filthy little Hate Monger to bloviate about how much God Almighty hates gay and lesbian people, but to let Ann Curry run around supporting that ass just makes NBC news look even dumber.

Yesterday on MSNBC Live, Curry said about Rick Warren and California’s Prop 8 bill while in a conversation with Contessa Brewer:

CURRY: It’s interesting. You know, one of the answers he has to that is that the pro — the idea of gay marriage was so well-funded in terms of, groups had come forth and had basically said, you know, “We’re gonna fund the fight against this ban,” that he felt that it was his responsibility to come out and say, “Wait a minute. We need to also — we need to create a balance here so that people hear both sides.”

Rambo Kitty

Oh thanks Ann Curry!! You’re such a trashy liar you don’t even know what you’re lying about! Rick Warren never came out and tried to “look for balance” and he did everything in his power to make sure people did NOT hear both sides! What a lying little whore!

I need to write a blog entitled:

“Die Ann Curry, Die Die! DIE!”

Curry goes on (to bury herself in more lies):

One of the issues he said is that, you know, he cannot — he was concerned that there would be an infringement on his freedom to speak about it, because if, in fact, he came out — he was worried that this Proposition 8 would prevent him from getting up on the pulpit and speaking out against same-sex marriage.


Like I’ve said: Curry doesn’t know what she’s talking about. There was nothing in Proposition 8 that took Rick Warren’s Homophobic Hate-Mongering Ministry away from him. Proposition 8 was not a bill about giving out “gag orders” to Hate Mongers. What is wrong with these people?!?

Trust me, people: People like Rick Warren aren’t afraid of anybody or anything taking away their rights to speak about anything. These people will spew their hatred towards anybody they please and run behind the United States Constitution crabbing about their “right to free speech” and their insistence on a separated Church and State until the cows come home. When it comes to the Church legislating morality in this country, they’re all for it.

Ann CoulterNow we can all look forward to January 6th when NBC’s Today show will once again – play host for the Queen of Mean, Ann Coulter who will get lots of air time to promote her brand-new book: “Guilty: Liberal Victims and their Assault on America.” …Because – NBC is run by a bunch of “liberals ” you see.

Coulter has made a number of highly controversial remarks during her appearances on NBC-owned channels. On NBC programs alone, Coulter has called former Vice President Al Gore a “total fag” and has called former President Bill Clinton a “latent homosexual.” Elsewhere, Coulter repeatedly likened Obama to Adolf Hitler in media appearances and in her syndicated column in 2008 and written that, without affirmative action, African-American Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) couldn’t get a job “that didn’t involve wearing a paper hat.” She has also said of Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens: “We need somebody to put rat poison in Justice Stevens’ créme brulée.” Indeed, Coulter has repeatedly mused about potential acts of violence against people she doesn’t like or with whom she disagrees.

Media Matters goes on to note that MSNBC, NBC and CNBC has played host to Ann Coulter and her dribble 194 times between April 1997 to Oct. 2007. Do you think a liberal like Michael Moore has been on MSNBC, CNBC or NBC one hundred and ninety four times?

One of the few good news journalists we have, CBS News’ Chief Foreign Correspondent, Lara Logan was on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” last July. While on it, she was asked if she watched American News. She flatly denied that she does. Repeatedly she said “No, I do not watch American television news.” She leaned in on Stewart and said; If I were to watch the news that you’re hearing in the United States, I’d just blow my brains out. ‘Cause it would drive me nuts.

Ya think?!

In an Op Ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, Bernard Goldberg wrote an homage to Tim Russert who had recently passed away. Goldberg and Russert spent a great deal of time talking about bias in the media. And in his piece honoring his friend Russert, Goldberg wrote:

“Why the closed-mindedness when the subject comes around to media bias?” I asked him.

“That, to me, is totally contrary to who we’re supposed to be as journalists. . . . If someone suggested there was an anti-black bias, an anti-gay bias, an anti-American bias, we’d sit up and say, ‘Let’s talk about this, let’s tackle it.’ Well, if there’s a liberal bias or a cultural bias we have to sit up and tackle it and discuss it. We have got to be open to these things.

His many friends in journalism — the ones who spend their lives inside that comfortable, elitist bubble — would do well to take those words to heart. Facing up to their biases and making a conscious effort to get rid of what Tim called “preferred positions” on important social issues (for abortion and against guns, for example) would be a lasting tribute to Tim.

FruitFly 6Lara Logan is absolutely correct: We don’t have “news” in this country. What we have is bubble-headed bimbos like Ann Curry blabbing utter  jibberish about  gay rights being yanked away in an effort to protect a fat man’s Constitutional right to spew hatred across this country.

And when NBC parades the likes of Ann Coulter out on their Today Show stage to blab about her personal hatred towards liberals, you just don’t get that “Free Pass” on calling the news “Liberal” anymore!  You just don’t!

As Congress goes home, the GOP is once again – Shrill!

This is horribly annoying: I’m compelled by three stories at the same time.

1.) Satan has apparently showed up at Fred Phelp’s private residence in Kansas and has burned down his garage. That’s just crazy! The Phelp’s are all screaming that it was arson, and I’m not too sure one could technically call Satan an Arsonist! The King of Flame, the Grand Poo-Bah of Charbroil, perhaps! But calling him an Arsonist?! Technically, that’s just wrong!

Face it: Jesus doesn’t like Red States. God the Father has not been kind to any of those Bible Thumpers in Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana or Texas. Even the Republicans in Iowa have been timid after the flooding they’ve had down there! But when you’ve coerced your family to show up at funerals for those who’ve died in Iraq and distributed signs that are screaming “GOD HATES FAGS!!” I just can’t help believe the Phelps’ unintentional “marshmallow roast” was inspired by Divine Intervention. Only in this case, Satan was simply the “Divine Tool” who carried it out!

2.) The latest rumor out there is from Bil Browning of the Bilerico Project who’s claiming that the proverbial cat is out of the bag: “Obama will announce Wednesday – Evan Bayh (R-IN) is my Veep“. This is also a nightmare for me because I happen to think Evan Bayh is really hot and I need time to Image Google Senator Bayh!

A little personal secret here: I have a very eclectic collection of personal “porn”. It doesn’t contain nude photos of anorexic chicky-chicky 20 year old boys where one could find more hair off a half a grape than on their paper-white chests. No, I’m a gay man – and I love men! Whether they’re wearing a nice pair of Chinos at a beach party or their standing next to the the future President Barack Obama… I’m there and I think that’s very sexy.

In the ninties – it was Bill and Al, and they were pretty hot. Al is still pretty hot! Bill? Hrmm… Maybe not so much. But Evan Bayh?!?! va va voom Baby..!! Who can turn down that dimple and that baby-face?!?!

Now close your eyes and think: “You’re laying back and he’s opened the door. He smiles and begins unlacing that neck-tie….he grins at you while his eyes crinkle and he slowly pops open that top collar button. He asks; “How are you?” while he sheds that dark jacket. And you get the first scent of his masculine hygene…Yes, he’s an aftershave man… You smile back at him and your hand reaches up to greet him as he sits on the sofa you’re laying on. You fingers touch the crisp, slightly starched feel of his shirt – he grins again and pops open another button…”

You see what I mean? “Fruit Fly Porn 101”!!

I’m still an “Al Gore Man”. Even though I’m not bitter, Tipper can just kiss my ass.

And finally,
3.) The screaming from the GOP as Congress wraps up and the lack of attention from that Liberal Media on who’s saying what!

Now that’s a dilemma! I need some sexy photos for my private porn collection to include Evan Bayh. There’s all that juicy-fun to talk about Fred Phelp’s charred hand-held Toro garden-tiller. Meanwhile, there’s also the fun that Michele Bachmann getting scorched (again) with Keith Olbermann’s Countdown winning Second Place on tonight’s episode of “Worst Person in the World”!

Let’s start with Steny Hoyer, the House Majority leader and overall lackey for the DNC

“A smattering of House Republicans are engaging in stunts on the House floor in a transparent political effort to manufacture headlines. Meanwhile, most of their Republican colleagues returned home burdened with trying to explain why they blocked efforts to combat high gas prices. ‡Republicans voted against expanding drilling in Alaska, ‡against promoting renewable energy, ‡against establishing the first new vehicle efficiency standards in 32 years, ‡against repealing taxpayer subsidies for major oil companies that are making record profits, ‡against cracking down on price gouging, and ‡against curbing excessive speculation in energy markets.

“For six years, Republicans controlled every branch of government and did nothing while America became more dependent on foreign sources of oil. House Republicans now want to dust off old proposals, rejected by Congress on a bipartisan basis as bad ideas, and claim they have put forward ‘solutions’.

“Democrats today are pro-actively offering short-term solutions to high costs at the pump, as well as a long-term strategy to break our dependence on foreign oil. It’s a shame Republicans are more interested in playing games than enacting real solutions.”

Now, at first blush – this statement looks like he’s telling more tall tales than John McCain while secretly meeting at a Klu Klux Klan rally! While the emphasis’ are all mine, including those really cool double-cross symbols that I found. Does the GOP pay attention to anything but themselves?! Talk about narcissism in politics! But, the more the GOP bitches at the Democratic Leadership in Congress, the more they’re getting their teeth kicked by by the facts!

Michele Bachmann
Minnesota has been embarrassed a lot in the past ten years or so. We elected that idiot Jesse Ventura…Then there was that really weird fluke when Norm Coleman’s dump-truck of a campaign ends up winning his election all because some airplane pilot was weirdly too sleepy to fly our beloved Paul Wellstone on up to Eveleth…

GASP!!: Does anybody remember when Norm Coleman, immediately after the Paul Wellstone funeral services promised to…be a 99% improvement over Paul Wellstone?! Norm Coleman’s promise to Wellstone’s KOA was obviously offered in exchange for a job. After seven years, the only job he accomplished was performing routine hand-jobs for the current President of the United States.

Embarrassing to believe the hype back then, I know. But then, there was Patty Whetterling who couldn’t hire a decent campaign manager to save her soul and we ended up with a boat load of political losers – with Michele Bachmann as the pathetic rotted-cherry on the top of our Political Shit Sundae:

Nice. The “Lobotomized One” gets only 2nd place tonight. (Mental note: Find a website on who’s been listed on Worst Person in the World more than Michele Bachmann, exempting Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes, Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh and Karl Rove.) She blabs away that the Dems are so tight, that they block tax breaks for wind and solar power and here she’s caught (again) lying not only about the fact, but the omission that she herself voted to block tax breaks….for wind and solar power.

I’m fustrated at two Democrats in Minnesota right now: Al Franken and Elwyn Tinklenburg! Both of whom are proving that they can’t run a campaign any better than Patty Whetterling could. But I digress. It’s embarrassing enough that the New York Observer is saying that “Franken is looking like the Olllie North of 2008“.

The GOP is running out of Congress hoping nobody is paying attention to their record. It’ll probably work, but only because genetically — I’m a pessimist.

From Think Progress via DumpMichele Bachmann:

Boehner strong-armed his own conservative members to ensure a bill didn’t pass because he wanted to engage in today’s political theatrics. After killing a bill that would have addressed gas prices, House conservatives have decided they want to blow hot air in the dark.

Rep. Adam Putnam (R-FL) said, “This band of brothers here is staying late to make a point to the American people: We want to work.” His colleagues then chanted: “Work, work, work.” Putnam has quickly forgotten the conservatives’ record of leading the Do Nothing Congress in 2006. The 109th Congress met for fewer days than the infamous 80th Congress that Harry Truman reviled as “do nothing” in 1948:

“The 109th Congress vies for the title of the all-time worst Congress,” said Thomas Mann, a political analyst at the Brookings Institution and co-author of “The Broken Branch” with Ornstein. Mann’s indictment of the 109th includes these charges: “It spent little time in session, it failed to pass budget resolutions and appropriations bills, there was no serious oversight of the disaster in Iraq, there were no major substantive policy achievements, and corrupt members were forced from Congress.”

Rep. Tom Price (R-GA) finally brought the six-hour talk-a-thon to a conclusion today by leading the group in an a capella rendition of “God Bless America.”

Bachmann isn’t finished. In an unedited video she’s rushed on to YouTube that looks like it was shot with her gay husband Marcus holding the camera in one hand and masturbating with the other.

Bachmann looks like that busty woman with the bright red satin top that’s four sizes too small selling the language learning “Rosetta Stone” software. Bachmann acts like a drunk chick at a frat party while she goes giddy for the Mega-Beer Bust Night at Stub n Herbs. “Barack Obama is apparently a crazy man talking about deflated Bridgestones behind a cage-full of radials..!” How can you possibly be so giddy and laughing while spewing so many lies?!

All of this is just plain wrong. Bachmann can bitch about Obama’s ideas, can’t someone bitch at her about her own boss, Steny Hoyer’s memo on his website?

Does Congresswoman Bachmann have any interest in including in her video that the combined profits made by the Oil Companies last year alone was more than Canada’s Gross Domestic Profit? That’s Canada! The second largest country on the planet! In fact, over the next 5 years, Big Oil will receive over $32 billion dollars in tax payer subsidies, tax breaks, and other hand-outs!! While we’re paying HUGE amounts for gasoline, the government is giving the same company HUGE amounts of our tax-dollars, while Michele Bachmann giggles and bounces in front of her masturbating husband holding a video camera and mocks Barack Obama for being what she insinuates as a crazy person for suggesting anything!

Can you spell “Shrill”?!

Grab your calculator and check this out:

  • Tax breaks = $23.2 billion
  • Royalty relief = $3.8 billion
  • Research and development subsidies = $1.6 billion
  • Accounting gimmicks = $4.3 billion

This money goes to Big Oil – flat out. Nobody bitches about it…Even Michele Bachmann doesn’t care about any of it. Those billions are my dollars and your dollars. Bachmann jiggles and giggles at Barack Obama while she proudly insists that we remain slaves to Big Oil.

Note: Not one single penny of the money in that list includes what you’re paying at the pump.

…And here’s Bachmann and her gay husband shooting a video of her laughing at Barack Obama…

Here’s Barack Obama’s reply to “The Lobotomized” in Minnesota’s 6th:

  1. They know they’re lying …about my energy policy

  2. They’re making fun of a step that every expert says…would absolutely reduce our oil consumption by 3 and 4 percent!

It’s like these guys take pride in being ignorant!!

Ya know?!

They think it’s funny…that they’re making fun of something … that is actually true!

They need to do their homework! ..Because this is serious business!

Instead of running ads about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, they should go talk to some energy experts and actually make a difference!!

Ann Coulter: Man, Insane or Both?

The GOP’s Queen of Mean never ceases to astonish those who take time to pay attention to her. I literally crashed intoann-coulter.jpg this newest little gem of “hate-speeching” on Feministing where Coulter said:

If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women.

Ignoring the patented misogyny in the first two sentences, can you find anything else that’s really odd about this statement?

Well, for one: This “single woman” is under investigation forBlack Garbage Fly voter fraud! So in a weird sense of irony, Coulter is “right”: She’s single and she voted stupidly. You can’t avoid the obvious.

In her stupidity, she continues on; now focusing on the “Soccer Moms”:

It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?’’

Yes Ann…wearing that gaff might make you look pretty in a black-mini, but pissing off the Soccer Moms isn’t going to make them vote for your GOP Hate-Party in Minneapolis/St Paul any faster! Saying that the Democrats have a tough time appealing to men with a message that’s aimed exclusively towards the “soccer moms” on issues like tuition, day care, and health care is like saying Ann Coulter has a hard time picking up men for dates in a public restroom in Titusville, Florida holding a twenty dollar bill between her tits. According to Coulter; Men aren’t interested in any of these things. At least, no “real man”. But when Coulter’s sporting an Adams apple that’s the size of a small passenger vehicle, we’re not really sure if she’s a “real man”. We think her gender is female. In the original source, The Garance, noted that her bullying the “Soccer Mom” crowd will only propel more women to vote and any GOP politician who associates with Coulter will become a virtual poison. Well, that’s already begun, so there’s no sense in pursuing that vein of talk.

Deer FlyPerhaps Coulter sees herself as a humorist. A sort of “Andy Kaufmann” style where it’s an “acquired taste”.

Wherever she’s “performing”, only three people in the audience are laughing and cheering extra-loud at her stupidity while the rest of them are painfully quiet and thinking: “Huh? What did she just say?”

Coulter lashes out a her political opposites like a 9-year old playground child and then gazes around wondering why there isn’t anybody laughing along with her in the “hysteria”! …And the GOP geeks lap it up; gleefully and excitedly laughing, cackling without any regard in realizing just how many people are offended by it.

“THE HOT BLOND CHICK IN THE BLACK MINI JUST PISSED OFF THE SOCCER MOMS! SHE CALLED THEM STEWPID!!! HOW FUNNY IS THAT?!?! BUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Huh?

Ann Coulter’s calling John Edwards a faggot less she behousefly required her to return to rehab “joke” wasn’t funny, at all. Coulter’s decision to become a self-appointed “official judge and jury” by saying that Al Gore was a “total fag” wasn’t funny either!

Sadly for Republicans (and happily for Democrats); Ann Coulter reaps a cornucopia in votes favoring the Democrats in the upcoming 2008 Denver election.

Soccer Moms? Screw them!! They’re Godless!FruitFly

9-Eleven Widows? They’re whores too! Screw them! Fuck you!!

Insane ugly blond transvestites who’re quick to point out that they hate everybody and could care less about how Soccer Mom’s are voting next year??!! Priceless.

Hard bodies who are Heads of State

Vladimir PutinTowleroad is a “mature” gay man’s website. It’s the GQ magazine for professional gay men. (Although GQ has some very gay leanings.) They’ve recently run a piece called: “A River Runs Through Russia: Fishing with Pin-Up Putin” and I have to admit: “It’s given me the vapors!”.

“Vlad” goes out on a fishing trip in the pristine wilderness of Siberia and decides to “drown a few minnows”. But before he baits his hook, Vlad grabbed his shirt at the collar, ripped it off his buffed 54 year old torso and walked on into the icy cold waters laughing and enjoying the freezing temperatures. Wow! Now there’s a hot-bod!! Go on and check out Vlad! That’s a prime minister who’s got bod! “Pin up Putin” is an understatement!

And I got to thinking about Hot Bods in politics…

The French have a new “hottie”: Nicolas Sarkozy. President Sarkozy of France appeared on American television with his shirt off and in full nipple-view while playing in the waters off the coast of New Hampshire.

Even though George Bush has never been caughtPr Nicholas Sarkozy (France) with his trousers off, the American president, vacationing 50 miles away in Kennebunkport, Maine, has seen his own relationship with the media sink so far that he will certainly sympathise with his French counterpart.

SarkozyRelations between the two countries have been strained since the French opted out of the US-led Iraqi invasion and Bush was hoping for a closer relationship with newly-elected Sarkozy.

But the middle of a tranquil lake in the state with the motto ‘Live Free or Die’ is the last place he could have foreseen another French- American confrontation.

President Sarkozy is a very good looking man. Loves America and loves to play in American waters.

PM Stephen HarperThere are a lot of good looking Heads of State in this world. Athletic, good looking, people with kind faces and intelligent minds. Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada is a very good looking man with a nice smile. I tried to Google a picture of Prime Minister showing me a full nipple shot but I failed.

Check out those boys growing up over there in London who will be Head of State soon. Prince William and Prince Harry are both quite the little hotties to look at while you’re cruising the morning papers.

But look at what we have in the United States. A stumbling, uncoordinated dotting old fool who’s biggest nightmare is to hatchet up the English language with the worst grammar and words that are completely made-up. Here’s a picture of our “Head of State”:

Bush Segway Fall

Makes you proud to be an American doesn’t it? After he trips over on a freaking Segway (which is next to impossible isn’t it?), he jogs it off never to worry about the people he just plowed into. And notice he’s wearing jogging shorts in this picture, will you?! Why would a person wear jogging shorts in order to take a ride on a Segway?

Bush’s Mountain Bike AccidentAnd there was that time he wipes out on his “mountain bike”. How is that possible when you’re surrounded by Secret Service agents? Bush tells everybody that he spends all of this time on his ranch in Crawford “clearing brush”. But has anybody ever actually seen his clear brush? He has plenty of photo ops carrying a chain saw or some other such tool. But I’ve never seen brush shooting into the air with Bush’s chain-saw at full throttle. Have you?

Those beady little eyes. Those tiny teeth, yellowed andBush Dumb crooked. Hs recent visit to the doctor’s office to have some polyps removed from his tail-pipe and the Royal Republicans breath a sigh of relief that the polyps are benign…. I have to ask; is this Presidential material we’re really interested in?

When President Sarkozy and Bush had arranged to do lunch, Sarkozy’s wife called in a canceled because their children both had sore throats. What a great wife and mother that is, to put your children as more important than to meet with America’s Royal Texas Trailer-Trash Family. You need to remember something about canceled lunch though:

The invitation to the lunch was extended during the Group of Eight meeting in Germany in June, where Bush fell ill with a stomach ailment on the day of his bilateral meeting with Sarkozy. They still met, but in Bush’s private quarters.

bush doorHow nice! The last time our Royal Family met with the Sarkozy’s, Bush had an upset tummy. And all of us know, Bush loves to tell fart-jokes and he loves to play practical jokes on people with his own farts.

President Bush today declared a massive fartwa on Iran and said he wouldn’t hesitate to use military flatulence as he cracks down on the “asses of evil.” He also announced a new plan to “smoke out” Osama bin Laden with bunker-busting stinkbombs.

Now that the president’s love of farting and fart jokes has been exposed by U.S. News & World Report, the Humor Gazette has learned that he also enjoys giving noogies to foreign dignitaries and watching Dick Cheney kick liberals in the groin.

Al Gore - Rolling StoneWhy can’t we have a good looking President? One that one makes us embarrassed every time he’s in public. They made fun of Presidential hopeful for three weeks on the topic Edwards’ $400.00 hair cut. What’s wrong with that? Why is that newsworthy? Are there journalists out there who think this crap up and think it’s “news”?!

Newsday made a huge stink about Bill Clinton too. At some airport in Los Angeles, claimed he was being groomed and they had to keep planes in the air while the President was being groomed. The story turned out to be completely false in the end. But it was enough to make people think that Bill Clinton was vain and self-centered.

The runway haircut by Beverly Hills stylist Cristophe became such a metaphor for perceived White House arrogance that the president himself felt compelled to apologize for the reported flight delays.

But the reports were wrong.

According to Federal Aviation Administration records obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, the May 18 haircut caused no significant delays of regularly scheduled passenger flights – no circling planes, no traffic jams on the runways.

Commuter airlines that fly routes reportedly affected by the president’s haircut confirmed they have no record of delays that day.

But you don’t hear much about Bush giving Great Britain’s Prime Minister a wedgie did you?

To ease international tension at the recent G-8 summit, where he groped German Chancellor Angela Merkel and gave Tony Blair a wedgie, Bush pranked puzzled foreign leaders with whoopie cushions and fake poo. Bush kept himself from getting bored by repeatedly putting his right hand under his left armpit, flapping his left arm to make farty noises and then pointing at the nearest red-faced dignitary.

That’s our President?!

Why can’t we have a president who’s good looking,Me responsible, intelligent. One who doesn’t lie to the American people and finds it beneath his or her character to spy on us and listen to our phone calls?

Give me that hard-body hottie from Russia. Let me snuggle up to that hottie from Canada! I wanna play with the two boys from London! Anything! But can we please get rid of the one we’ve got?!