Say, Mr. Graham! Is this one of those “double standards” you’re talking about?!

Richard Cohen, of the Washington Post has decided that Michael Jackson’s tragic demise wasn’t a problem of political over-exposure for Governor Sanford. Within four weeks, two Republicans have been apologizing for failing to keeping their trousers zipped up in the sense of “Holy Sanctity of Marriage” and an additional Republican governor is stepping down with her own two-week notice complete with hip-waders and fish-nets.  Thankfully, super-star King of Pop-Legend, Michael Jackson has croaked.  This funeral has  over-shadowed the entire train-wreck of a political party in less than a month.

But Dick Cohen is quite comfortable with the situation.  He points to the recent “Quiting Becuase I’m Not a Quiter Governor Sara Palin (R-AK) resignation as trivial.  Governor Mark Sanford:  “Oh phhhhphphp…Big Deal… Get over it already!!

Almost as interesting as Palin is South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford. Never mind his affair. These things happen. Concentrate instead on how he hid his affair — by disappearing and calling attention to himself. Note also that even before he somehow took the Appalachian Trail to Buenos Aires, he was renowned for rejecting federal stimulus money. Before that, as a congressman, he claimed to have forsaken a housing allowance — and a cot — and said, “I sleep on the floor of my office.” Most of us would consider this weird behavior. In the GOP, it was seen as presidential timber.

Okay, can you guess what’s wrong with this picture?

If you’re AWOL from your post as Governor,  and lie to the good folks of your state by telling them you’ve gone on a hiking trip, meanwhile you spend tax-payer dollars to fly to Argentina to boff your Argentinian Lolita…so what? These things happen. Additionally, if you sleep on a cot, and claim publicly that you really slept on the floor: Some folks might think you’re weird — But the GOP will think you’re Presidential Timber!

Insert a lame “I got a woodie” joke here.

Tim Graham, the director of media analysts over at the conservative Media Research Center is expressing relief over the recent tragic death of Michael Jackson on behalf of Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC).

You see, according to Graham; if it hadn’t been for the overwhelming media attention on Michael Jackson’s demise, poor Governor Sanford would have suffered a lot more needless media scrutiny than he already has received and doesn’t deserve at all, whatsoever.

How pedestrian can the GOP’s propaganda machine continue to be?

Graham laments his grief for Sanford’s unfortunate zipper-problem:

“If you took a Democratic Sanford, a Democratic governor having one mistress, they would all yawn over that,” he contends. “They would really not find that very interesting at all, and yet these people will find Republican mayors cheating as an interesting national story.”

Mayors?  There are Republican mayors out there skanking on their wives in addition to the boat loads of US Senators, Governors and Congress-Creatures?!  There are mayors that we don’t know about, Mr. Graham?!?

Here’s the martyrdom line-up for the public consumption: “It’s those horrible infidels over on the Left who are so willing to crucify those of us Righteous Righties. If those Liberal Lefties are caught…Well, nobody would care!  But if we’re caught.. “Oh horror…! Oh poor us!  Why do you persecute us so?!!”

Graham continues (weeping bitterly):

“They know that people like you and me are disgusted by a Mark Sanford — and they know that that guy will be toast. And they know that adultery is not going to hurt a liberal,” he adds. “When we discuss how the media behaves, we understand that the same people who are all making an enormous, big deal out of Mark Sanford thought that there was absolutely nothing wrong with what Bill Clinton did [while in office].

Graham says; “It’s a clear double-standard.”

How much lying are these conservatives allowed to get away with before they’re called on it? Furthermore, how much stupidity can the American public take from these jack-asses.

Even Rush Limbaugh admitted that “Mark Sanford couldn’t keep his trousers zipped up because it was Obama’s fault!”

Now they’re weeping because Michael Jackson didn’t croak soon enough to protect Sanford’s “Great Trouser Snake Escape”?!

These Republicans are cheating around on their spouses (breaking God’s “Holy Sanctity of Marriage”), and the Conservatives  will complain that it’s everybody else’s fault.  Or, they’ll whip out with: “We’ve got a Double-Standard Here, people!”   (They don’t want hate crimes legislation to protect the gays…But they’ll jump at the chance for a “don’t pick on a Republican” legislation in a New York Minute!

It’s pathetic!

It’s Weak!

Let’s try this one step at a time. Because Tim Graham is just out right lying to his readership with this whole “double-standard idea”.

Double Standard #1:

John Edwards (D) v. Sarah Palin (R)

When it was discovered that John Edwards had been having an affair on his wife, the entire GOP Propaganda Machine (a.k.a. Mainstream Media) gasped: “His career is over with! His career is finished!!! Oh, his dear poor wife!”

The story was originally spilled by none other than The National Enquirer.

Fox’s Hannity and Colmes did not hesitate to have Chris Kofinas, Edwards’ campaign manager on their show to drill him on the “horror”.

But, the National Enquirer also published a story about Sarah Palin who had skanked on her husband and cheated on him in an affair.

The GOP gasped in horror – but not at the fact that Palin’s career was as was apparently Edwards’.  They gasped that the National Enquirer would even print such an alleged malicious lie!

In fact, the GOP threatened lawsuits against the Enquirer for even considering publishing the idea that they’re Political Lolita from Alaska would be a skank in the first place.

Governor Palin’s political career wasn’t over like Edwards’ career was “over”. Quite the contrary! The GOP loves Sarah Palin! We don’t know why, we think she’s dumber than a pail of nails! But, then that only means Sarah Palin’s Fan Club is grouped together by some very stupid pails.

Say, Mr. Graham! Is this one of those “double standards” you’re talking about?!

Double Standard #2:

Jim McGreevey (D-NJ) v Larry Craig (R-ID)

When Governor McGreevey came out of the closet, he came flying out. He came out flying with a closet-full of boas; admitted to having an affair with another man. Governor McGreevey was gay. He immediately resigned.

Republican Media gasped in horror:  Not another Democrat with an infidelity problem?!

Yet, Senator Larry Craig was arrested for soliciting sex in the Mens Room restroom at the Twin Cities International Airport. Senator Craig bullied the police officer with his Senator ID badge, trying to intimidate the officer, but it didn’t work. A few months later, the Senator plead guilty to the charge.

But, what happened to the Senator for Not-Coming-Out?

Nothing!  He’s happily back at his office doing whatever it is that he does for his good citizens of Idaho!  It’s embarrassing for them.  But, there’s no consequences for his actions?  He plead guilty for soliciting sex in a men’s restroom and there’s nothing wrong with that?  What kind of GOPervert party is this anyway?

Say, Mr. Graham! Is this one of those “double standards” you’re talking about?!

Double Standard #3:

Eliot Spritzer (D-NY) v. David Vitter (R-LA)

Governor Spitzer (D-NY) was caught in a prostitution ring. He was kicked out of office immediately.   Boom! Out of a job!  Go away!

Senator David Vitter (R-LA) was caught in a prostitution ring and this is what he did.

He drags his wife Wendy out wearing a tight leopard-print dress and shouts into the microphone

I’M SORRY!!

…And he goes back to work.  Not a care in the world…  Nothing about the fact that he was getting wrapped in a diaper while tens of thousands of his fellow Louisianans were floating dead in the drink.

So, the Democrat bangs some prostitutes, he’s sent home with a report card full of F’s.  But if a Republican bangs a brothel full of prostitutes, he drags his wench-looking wife in front of the cameras and apologizes and he gets to go back to work?!

Say, Mr. Graham! Is this one of those “double standards” you’re talking about?!

Double Standard #4:

Rod Blagojevich (D-IL) v. Ted Stevens (R-AK)

This Governor of Illinois was arrested and charged with a wide-variety of corruption charges, including an attempt to acution off the US Senate seat that was vacated by then President-Elect Barack Obama.  Within weeks, the Illinois Legislature impeached the governor who went later to stand trial and eventually convicted.

Ted Stevens (R-AK) was charged and convicted on seven counts of corruptions charges.  Stevens plead innocent of the charges, he was brought in front of a jury and he was convicted, unanimously on each count. What happened?  He continued to run for US Senate.  In December, following the election, what happened?

You got it, Baby!  The United States Senate stood up and gave this convicted felon a standing ovation!

Governor Blagojevich didn’t get an applause.  He didn’t even get a trial until after he was impeached!  Both plead not-guilty but only the Republican got to go on and receive his homage while the Democrat was shunned and pulled out like a weed from an old lady’s  garden.

Say, Mr. Graham! Is this one of those “double standards” you’re talking about?!

There’s no truth to back-up what these conservatives are saying these days.  Their truth is their demise.  Because each time a Democrat goes down for some unscrupulous practice, they step down and the party becomes more united to try harder.   The Republicans, this isn’t the way they work.  Although they “claim” those “Good American Family Values”, they are values you and I are expected to uphold.  Their values are way off-base to the ones they preach.  And that’s one of the many reasons the GOP is not going to make it in the end.
The Fratllis - Chelsea Dagger

This Sucks: Cuban Gays considering to get legal same-sex recognition

The Commies in Havana are considering giving more rights to their same-sex couples than we offer here in the United States. Comparatively speaking; the Republicans have managed to limit almost any rights for gays and lesbians here in the “Land of the Marginally Free and the Not So Brave”.Living in a free world

Which begs the question: Is it better to live in a socialist or even communist state than it is to live in a land dictated by the GOP?

Okay, let’s tally up a review of countries that allow same-sex marriage. A trip over to Wikidom and this is what we find:

  • The Netherlands
  • Spain
  • Canada
  • Belgium

Damned Canadians…

…And the Belgians too!! Have you seen what those Belgian girls look like?!! Ugh!! The Republicans routinely blast the stupid theory that if we allow same-sex marriage; how long before people will be wanting to marry their cow, their dog or perhaps their favorite chicken? Now you have a land famous for waffles, Belgian workhorses and ugly chicks and you throw in same-sex marriages…!? That’s a classic disaster waiting to happen if you’re a Republican. And yet, we’re still waiting to hear someone who’d rather marry their favorite horse in exchange of a fine looking Belgian lass holding a short-stack smothered with real maple syrup. So much for that stupid Republican theory about Man-On-Marmoset Rights thing.

Iran HomosexualsIsrael recognizes same-sex unions performed in other countries too. However it’s still illegal to perform same-sex civil unions (for now). But just you watch; it won’t be long before the Israelis are reminded that the gays and lesbians were murdered and tortured during the Holocaust just as the Jews were. POOF!! The Israeli Knesset will dole out full-blown same-sex civil rights faster than Yentl could slobber down a bowlful of Kreplach soup on any given night during Yom Kippur.

The Canadians and the Spanish both have laws where same-sex marriages have all of the same set of rights as their hetero-coupled neighbors.

…Damned Canadians. Sheeshe!

Civil Unions, Civil partnerships, domestic partnerships, unregistered partnerships or registered partnerships are available in the following countries not controlled or out of reach from control of the GOP:

  • Andorra
  • Columbia
  • Croatia
  • Czech Republic
  • Denmark
  • Finland
  • France
  • Germany
  • Hungary
  • Iceland
  • Israel
  • Luxembourg
  • New Zealand
  • Norway
  • Portugal
  • Slovenia
  • South Africa
  • Sweden
  • Switzerland
  • United Kingdom
  • …Parts of Argentina
  • Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)
  • Mexico
  • Uruguay

Columbia?!! Uruguay?! ..And Argentina? Freakin half of South America gets more rights and respect to their GLBT citizens than they do here!! I have a better chance hooking up with a gaucho from La Paz, Argentina than I have in La Paz, Texas. …And we’d have more rights in Argentina!Giuliani Kerik

Think about it: You can buy a line of blow from a man in Columbia and have a civil-union ceremony with him and have more legal rights than you would if you were in Fucking-Florida. Because if you’re gay in Florida, you can’t even adopt an orphaned child.

Now I had to look up Andorra since I’m not up on my Euro-Trash geography. This country is about the size of an Eisenhower dollar on the border between France and Spain. Andorrans, surprisingly have the longest life expectancy throughout the known world. I can marry my Star Trekkie husband in Andorra and truly “live long and prosper”. And we won’t have any “God Hates Fags” protests marching outside our funeral services. Good bye Republicans…Make room, Andorra!

Here in the United States; the following have registered same-sex partnerships on the books:

  • California
  • Connecticut
  • Hawaii
  • Maine
  • New Hampshire
  • New Jersey
  • Oregon (delays)
  • Vermont
  • Washington
  • District of Columbia

In the land Down Under: Australia’s laws are completely insane. But built-in provisions between states, territories and council areas have same-sex registry systems for:

  • Sydney
  • Melbourne
  • Tasmania
  • Victoria

Unregistered same-sex couples have rights in:

  • Queensland
  • South Australia
  • Northern Territory
  • Norfolk Island
  • Western Australia
  • Australian Capital Territory
  • New South Wales

As far as I’ve heard; there hasn’t been one single marriage request for an Aussie to marry his favorite koala, ostrich or platypus. However, I did hear about some Aussie lesbian who tried to get her freaky on with a kangaroo! She was about 37, dishwater blond hair…smallish boobs…. Face it: That GOP shit about marrying your goat is crap and Americans are stupid enough to believe them.

Same sex-couples in Sweden and Iceland both get nearly everything identical to their heterosexual neighbors enjoy. But there’s an added bonus to be in a gay relationship if you hail from the land of lingonberries and Bjork:

…Partnership laws are short laws that state that wherever the word “marriage” appears in the country’s law will now also be construed to mean “registered partnership” and wherever the word “spouse” appears will now also be construed to mean “registered partner” – thereby transferring the body of marriage laws onto same-sex couples in registered partnerships. In these countries, registered partnerships are generally called marriage in daily speech.

Civil Partnerships in United Kingdom and Civil Unions in New Zealand have identical legal status to (heterosexual) marriages. These same sex-couples enjoy the same rights including tax exemptions, joint property rights as well as next-of-kin status and shared parenting responsibilities. As far as I’ve been told: There have been no immediate spike in the price of lamb chops or mutton since all of these “gay rights” have become available in these countries.

So I’ll ask the question again: Is it better to live in a socialist or even communist state than it is to live in a land dictated by the GOP? Is worrying about some idiot marrying their parakeet really seem that likely to you? Does it seem logical enough for someone who claims to live in a country that brags about “freedom”?FruitFly

Now we can throw in the Commies in Cuba on the list of countries where the gays and lesbians have equal rights and the United States doesn’t. Countries where most folks have never heard of give more respect to their gay and lesbian citizens than we do here in the U.S. And at the mere mention of gay and lesbian civil recognition… and the GOP ‘s Hate Machine goes into full-tilt and fear and loathing is spread throughout the community.

…Damned Cubans. Fucking Republicans…

Update:

Al Gore has just published his “Opinion” on CurrenTV which was picked up on Pams House Blend. Although I loves me some Al Gore, no doubt there’s someone out there who’ll falsely claim Al Gore invented Gay Marriage.