Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Friday’s Funnies and Foibles

I, the Great and Amazing Fruitfly, will hand you some yummy bits of rotting fruit for you to share with your friends tonight after work. What could be better? You’re at a TGI Fridays sipping on one of their extra-large glasses of frosty cold beer, all of your friends are sitting around, laughter is everywhere and everybody’s relieved that Friday has finally found fun time. (Is that enough “F” words for you?”!)

Teri Hatcher’s Bush SpankLet’s deal with the “Famous FruitFly Foible” first: “Who has the character flaw?”. Why, that would be President George Bush, Number 41 of course! While in Los Angeles to attend an awards ceremony has lunch with Desperate Housewives’s star Teri Hatcher. While they parted ways in the parking lot, GHW Bush gives Ms. Hatcher a wet kissy and then smacks her on the ass. There’s even a short video shot of it if you don’t believe me. So the Friday Foible goes to Ms. Hatcher for even having lunch with the old goat in the first place!

Wonkette‘s piece on this story is the funniest take I’ve seen in ages. (God loves a Wonkette.) OfQuacker Bush course, GHWB has already denied the action, but who could blame him for that? Terri Hatcher is much more attractive than waking up next to the Quaker Oats man every morning for sixty-three years.

Pheonix Woman (a.k.a. Mercury Rising) is speculating that Newt Gingrich is going to throw his hat into the ring for Presidential Candidate. Newtie (as his mother affectionally called him) was interview by James Dobson of Focus on the Family where he made his relgious “mea culpa” for his past deeds as a womanizer, wife ditcher and a dead-beat dad. Gingrich said:

Gingrich tells Dobson that he has “gotten on his knees and sought God’s forgiveness” for his personal failings.

With all of the Republican Candidates, I think it’s safest to say that Newtie Gingrich, so far, has the most number and the most horrific skeletons in the closet. Everybody seems to remember the story about Newt demanding divorce papers from his first wife as she was wheeled into the Recovery Room after surgery resulting from cancer. But you really have to sit back in “shock and awe” when you look at the abysmal low the Republican Party will go to even shove Newt Gingrich out there to run for President. My favorite quote so far from Newtie? It’s what he said about his first wife:

“She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife.”

Is that sound like Presidential material to you? If not, you can swim in the bottom of Pam’s coffee cup and discuss Newtie’s hypocracy in impeaching Clinton while he excuses himself for having an affair at the same time at Pamshouseblend.

Ann Coulter hugs Matt SanchezBut while we’re talking about right wing hypocracy, have you ever checkedHannity gets Dirty Sanchez out Jesus’ General? He is heterosexually thrilled for his favorite fab new television personality Matt Sanchez.

I understand that he’s starred in a number of movies. I haven’t seen any of them, but by the titles, I’d say they must be action movies. Jawbreaker sounds like it might be the story about a cop who enforces the law with his fists. Donkey Dick is certainly a western. Didn’t Ronald Reagan also star in a movie with the same title? I’m not sure what Glory Holes Of Fame 3 or Beat Off Frenzy are about, but they sound like they might be war movies.

If course, if you don’t know about this story, you can click on the pictures of Anne Coulter with Matt or the picture of Sean Hannity with him. WARNING: The website you’ll be visiting does have some of Matt Sanchez’s best work; he’s in the buff! Of course, if you’re a big fan of gay porn, especially of Matt Sanchez (a.k.a. Rod Majors), help yourself by clicking here.

Giuliani In DragRudy Giuliani has just been horribly embarrassed by those from his own backyard: The New York City Firefighters. They’ve sent out a letter that says:

“This letter is intended to make all of our members aware of the egregious acts Mayor Giuliani committed against our members, our fallen on 9-11, and our New York City union officers following that horrific day …

“We have heard from some affiliates that Giuliani’s campaign is beginning to reach out to our locals, looking to build support. If you are contacted by the Giuliani campaign we hope you will say not just, “No,” but, “Hell no.”

NYFD was pushed away when Giuliani wanted to destroy evidence clean up the debris from the World Trade Center and allow the big rig equipment to scope up the evidence rubble and sell recycleable evidence material to China. NYFD of course, wasn’t finished trying to find their own, let alone any surivors that might still be inside and they rioted and protested and Giuliani ignored them. Oh!  And I almost forgot to tell you that if you click on the picture of Giuliani there, you’ll be whisked away in a new window to watch Giuliani’s Drag Queen Debute with Donald Trump who did not say, oddly enough, “You’re Fired”!!

Old FruitfliesWell, that’s about all I have for you today. I’ve spawned about three hundred new eggs with this chunk of melon I have here and I’m about all out of Friday’s Funnies!Did you have enough Funnies?

No?

Then perhaps you can click here and watch Monte Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl and their famous sketch: “The Argument Clinic“.

Until then…

FruitFly Power Forever!!! Me

 

A Fruit Fly Rant: Arrogance

I’m not one to stand here and dump my opinion intorant-1.jpg cyerspace. I have much more enjoyment and satisfaction at creating oddball characters, putting them into oddball situtations all in an effort to make a statement. Personally, most blogs I don’t like or don’t pay attention to because the author jabbers on about things that are perceived from their viewpoint only. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong – but let’s also remember my favorite cliche: “Opinions are like belly-buttons…everybody has one.”

However, setting up a rediculous blog full of rediculous characters does put a strain on the average average blogger-fans. Who is the creator? Why was this said? Things roll around in the reader’s brain that makes it look like the entire “Fruit Fly” blog is authored by somebody who’s in prison or a state institution. And it’s worth noting a time-out from the silliness and putting for some thoughtful points for consideration. (Besides, some friends have asked for me to put out a good old fashioned “Rant” that just rips something or someone to shreds. Admitedly, it has its appeal!)

So about this newly elected Democratic Congress! You honestly think I’d be interested in ranting about a speeding ticket that I received last January for going four miles an hour over the posted limit? The seriousness of what the American people have said last week goes far into the history books of our generations to come. Father than what the Republicans pulled off in 1994 with their “Newtie” Gingrich and his “Contract With America”.

VotedI fully believe this past election was the direct response to the GOP’s arrogance. The news-mouths have been jabbering and trying to convince all of us that not only are they the smartest people in the world, but that this vote was the knee-jerk response to the Iraq War.

However, that’s nothing but the “Five and Dime Soda-Jerk” version: The quick grasp at a fast answer in order to be the first one to make such a rediculous claim. If Brit Hume or Wolf Blitzer or Tim Russert had said that the 2006 Election was the result of Congressman Mark Foley’s indescretion, every Lemming-journalist in the United States would be talking about the horrors of homosexuality, the NAMBLA or pedophelia. To appease their bosses and the Executive Directors of Big Corp USA, the news-mouths have decided collectively to leave the explanation of the Election as a result of the Iraqi War. Mind you, that’s only their guess; and as I have already discussed the human anatomy, you know where I’m going with that thought.

I think the vote went far beyond the Iraq War. It was a collective of the whole. It’s apparent that this Bush Administration has an agenda that does not include the American people as its primary concern. It’s clear that the George W Bush had forgotten that he is a public servant right around the time he decided to listen to our phone calls and scan our Internet search enginers. The American people voted against the absolute arrogance of GW’s attitude and against the machines that he began to build within our society.

We voted based on a guy named Jack Abramoff who took money from Indian Casinos in exchange for a bagful of promises that were never kept. This is the same guy who recruited young women from southeast Asia, promising them American citizenship status and then dumping them off in Siapan and turning them into slaves. If the young women turned out to be pregnant, Abramoff forced them to have an abortion and then it was back to the sewing machines. All so he could have labels saying “Made In America” put on the clothing and sell them to WalMart. You gotta love “free enterprise”!

In 2004, for a very brief time, President GW Bush proclaimed that he wanted to be known in history as “a War President”. It was short-lived. Apparently Karl Rove had a good idea in the middle of the night and once Bush went public with the moniker, Rove had a nightmare. Whatever the reason for Bush’s ego, the cliche’ touched a nerve with an awefulWPE lot of voting Americans. One in particular was the grandson of the first “War President”, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. James Roosevelt Jr said; “A War President isn’t self-proclaimed. A president becomes a true War President by leadership that inspires followers at home and abroad. And most importantly, a War President never loses sight of the goals of true peace with honor. For Bush to grant himself this title is an insult to my grandfather and the inspired leaders who led this country in wars that were just. To put it simply, George W. Bush has not earned the right to be called a War President.”

During our very own Fourth of July parades and picnics this year, Kim Jung Il launched condoleza rice failedfour missiles which successfully landed into the Sea of Japan. The Japanese government, very alarmed of course, turned to our self-appointed “War President” looking for support in resolving this crises. Bush and his Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice essentially ignored the show of force.

Dr. Rice, who frequently ignores world crises’ for a minimum of one week before showing up for photo ops and then running away from the problem, kept the lid on the kettles while convincing the American people that everything was okay. Of course they weren’t, because on October 9th, Kim Jung Il successfully launched a nuclear weapon underground. For the first time, Bush showed everybody that he wasn’t a “War President” after all, he was just a lost rich little boy. Put bluntly, Bush was simply lost within his own rancor of failed war policies in Iraq, Afghanistan, Hezbullah and saber-rattling and stupid threats of war with Iran. North Korea was just a nuisance. A deadly and globally catastrophic nuisance, but who cares?

What was the final response to this “Madman from the Hermit Kingdom”? Senator John McCain stepped into mud-puddle by saying it was all Bill Clinton’s fault. It was never noted that the Senator has failed miserably for the past six years solving these “glaring Bill Clinton’s failed policies”. Of course not! The news-mouths had to rush their “Copy” to their microphones and vomit into the American voter’s ears.

There’s the arrogance of the Republican voters to consider.

The Rovian propaganda machine was in full gear once it was decided we were going to war with Iraq, with or without the blessing of the U.N. Security Council. Perhaps you recall a few of your own instances. Here in the Twin Cities area, we had the “Republican Trespassers”. Many of us in the Minneapolis /St Paul area were against the Iraq War and we were outspoken about it with lawn-signs everywhere. Our voices were silenced by those Trespassers who would boldly walk onto our yards and ripped our signs out of the ground and throw them into their growing collection in the backs of their Snobpick-up trucks. They spent entire weekends venturing from one excursion after another, feeling it was their duty…no, their obligation to serve their “Appointed President” and to shut our mouths.

Then there was the Republican “elite”. The snotty wealthy old windbags who tried to shame us for being different. We didn’t have to be black, or Jewish or even gay; it was how we voted and how we felt about this baseless and even senseless war that they felt gave them license to sneer at us. My favorite: “Well you know, Jesus never voted Democrat”.

They slammed their Bibles on podiums and proclaimed God’s love for them and denied His love to anyone who wasn’t in their cult Evangelical Christian movement. These Conservative Christian Republicans shouted at us because we didn’t support their war. Then they showed up at the funerals of our sons and daughters who faught in their war and died and held up signs and chanted: “God Hates Fags”.

hypocritTheir favorite Evangelical Christian minister out of 30 million of them, was having a homosexual affair with a gay prostitute and addicted to methamphetamines. (May I ask for someone to count the number of gay and lesbians that have been beaten or murdered based on hate-crimes encouraged by this man? Or would I digress?) Their favorite radio talk show host was using his housekeeper as a drug mule, doctor shopping for prescription medicine and caught importing prescription medicine for erectile dysfunction from a country that allows male juvenile prostitution. Their favorite author, lives on an island off the coast of Florida and is under investigation for voter-fraud. Ann Coulter’s books, with titles like “Godless; The Church of Liberalism” was on the New York Times Best-seller June 6, 2006, just five months before the election. In her book, she criticized the 9/11 widows and accusing them of extortion at the expense of their husbands’ deaths.

Not to worry. In her previous book, she bloviated that liberals should be arrested, tried and shot by firing-squad. She’s such a Republican version of an American Patriot, she called for someone to poison one of our own US Supreme Court Justices. All of the Lemming-journalists, the Republican elite, even the religiously insane got a good laugh out of that last one. “Cheezus Ann…You’re killing me here… No really.”

Hurricane Katrina, my god my god..!

Three years before Katrina, we watched our own people jump to their death’s in New York from 40-story window sills. In Katrina, we watched ourBush guitar own people swim and drown through a city with the second largest seaport in North America. Only three days later, Condoleeza Rice was in Manhattan purchasing a $1,000 pair of stilhettos, joining friends for tennis and enjoying a Broadway play later in the evening. God the Almighty meanwhile, having such a great close-knit with President Bush, urged the President to stay home and relax with a has-been country western singer while God’s children drowned, and their babies drowned with them. Vice President Dick Cheney showed up two weeks later like a gopher on Ground Hog Day sporting a fresh relaxed demeanor and quite eager to get a chance to talk about how much the White House would be doing to help out. They did nothing but privatize the entire thing to Corporate Cronies and Criminals. The day before Cheney’s “pop-up” visit, Bush told FEMA Director Michael Brown that he was doing a heckofa good job. A month after all of this, Anderson Cooper was still digging out bodies from collapsed homes on CNN and the FEMA trailers still hadn’t arrived. The President’s mother Barbara Bush worried that all of those black folks would stay in Houston instead of returning home, yet showed her pleasure that the Houston Astrodome provided a better shelter than they probably had back home.

It would be pointless to stretch this rant about Republican Arrogance any farther. It’s like pulling taffy, but without all of that warm buttery-sugar. $900 billion dollars missing here and there, tons of weapons and small arms ammunition missing whie in transit to our troops in Iraq, even the missing combative gear that’s never been delivered, it’s all horrible and destestible goo. The Secretary of Defense complains after an American G.I. asked about poor equipment…The Defense Secretary told the kid; “You get what you have, quit wasting my time with your problems.” (adlib is my own), …All of it swirls like the unwanted hair-matting that settles and dries itself on top of our bathtub’s train. And what would it gain? To rant about it anymore, I mean.

Perhaps it’s going to be the fuel that will drive us to clean up our country’s Leadership, and their croonies for now and forever more. We came close to making our country into a First World Banana-Republic. Or perhaps this entire rant was to point out that I have an opinion once in a while…and that I have a belly-button too. I call it my “lint trap”, is that so bad?

The Fruit Fly

Fruit Fly

 

 

 

The Shame of the Republican of Texas

Good evening. Welcome to FFN news and I am Frizzie McBee.Frizzie McBee

In today’s news, the Republic of Texas has seceded from the United States out of pure embarrassment over President George W. Bush and others. The measure flew through both the Republican controlled House and Senate by a very large majority.

For more on this surprising move, Reporterwe head on out to our political field reporter Jim Hatair.

Hello Jim! We’ve heard that Texas has always held that they have the right to secede from the Union, but is anybody shocked that they actually have?

Hello Frizzie and no there isn’t! The Republic of Texas, willTexas Map begin it’s autonomy as a sovereign country beginning tomorrow at twelve noon and the rest of the people of the United States country couldn’t be happier!

With George W Bush’s lowest popularity in United States history, the State of Texas had decided to secede from the United States with a very bruised ego and very embarrassed (former) United States President.. With only 33% of Americans approving of the President’s handling of his job, his wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, bankrupt federal government, chaotic Homeland Security and chronic drinking, the people of the Republic of Texas have decided to apologize to the rest of the United States and take back their favorite Son back to Texas and leave once and for all. Since the President is too intoxicated to know what’s going on, he’s returned to playing putt-putt golf in the Rose Gardens in the back of the White House.

While it is correct that Texans have long held the belief that they can secede from the United States anytime they want, they’ve never really carried through with the threat until now.

News AnchorExcuse me Jim! Frizzie here! Isn’t that belief just simply a myth? What I mean is; if a person got technical, any state in the Union could secede at anytime, thereby making the original Texan thought of secession being nothing more than a joke on their own selves?

Absolutely Frizzie, however – Texas has finally demonstrated that it actually could be done! You may remember that TexasTexas Embassy was an independent country between 1836-1845. Mexico claimed Texas as their own until Texas seceded and went on their own. In fact, the Republic of Texas back then, even had their own Embassy in both London and chuckie monkeyParis. Since Texas couldn’t manage their money and went into a chaotic bankruptcy, the United States admitted the country into the Union and paid off their debt. The ironyhereFrizzie is that back then, Liberal Blue State folks from the Minnesota, Michigan, Illinois and Maine watched these Rednecks err… Texans take nine very long years before realizing that they were incapable of managingthemelves and the Liberals offered to bail them out of their misery…Something the Liberal Blue State folks aren’t willing to do again today. By the way; it has only taken 5 years for the people of the rest of the United States to realize that this particular Texan can’t lead the country!

Texans, being too proud and ungrateful for what thedino golf United States has done for them back then, has finally realized that George W. Bush is the United States biggest acne inflammation of the face of the country. Even Texans have finally begun to realize the embarrassment. In the midst of all of this controversy, George W Bush hasn’t left the White House and continues to mumble incoherently while trying to get his golf ball into the giant dinosaur’s mouth.

Frizzie?

Thanks Jim, I want to turn now to FFN’s political analyst, Dick Dock who’s in Madison, Wisconsin to get a reaction to the news. Dick?

dick dockYes, Frizzie and thank you. The rest of the United States seems to be very excited about this news from the opportunity to not only get rid of Bush, but also to get rid of the pathetic Lone Star State.

Let’s face it, Texas has the worsttexas children educational system in the entire country, second only to Alabama and Mississippi. It’s glaringly obvious that the people of Texas apparently don’t care about the problem. Yet it is a problem for the rest of the United States and here’s why; These poorly educated people get together, have children in their own trailer-parks, go through the same education system and the problem becomes a sort of a cyclical “social-cancer” reflecting on the rest of the population of the United States!

Barely 20% of the population even bothers to vote in Texas (Democrats that is, the Republicans aren’t lazy at all down there!). Yet the Democrats are the loudest cry-babies in the country!! For example, the Democrats in the Texas legislature had left the State out of protest and moved into hotel rooms in Oklahoma and New Mexico when upset about their Republican counterparts who began gerrymandering districts.

There’s virtually nothing to see in Texas aside from green swampy river in downtown San Antonio and the Johnson Space Center in Houston. The best city in Texas seems to be Austin, the only area that voters are obviously and solidly Democrat. And yet the town is filled with filthy law-breaking bribing, Indian-Stealing, good-old-boy-network Republicans!

In another perspective, with the people of Texas leaving the US and finally become their own country, it allows for a increased of respect towards the Federal Government for Americans again! For example, the United States can finally get rid of people like Tom Delay,Kay Bailey Hutchison, George H.W. Bush, Barbara (“Quaker Oats Grandma”) Bush, Karl Rove, Lee Harvey Oswald, Lyndon Baines Johnson and “Mommy Dearest’s”Joan Crawford.

Lizzy?

Thanks Dick! Ahhh… With Texas becoming an autonomous country again, isn’t there a danger that they’ll repeat the same fiasco they had the last time? If they’reincabable of governing themselves, won’t we be simplyrepe…

Quaker OatsYes of course, Lizzy. But, they’re Texans! If ever there was a definition of O. Henry’s idea of a “Banana Republic”, it would be Texas! Like the Mexican government,Beeyotch the Texas Elite could care less about the lower and middle class and expect these groups to support them and their ostentatious lifestyles! Consider Barbara (Grandma) Bush’s quote when seeing Katrina Survivors being given shelter at the Houston Astrodom: “Almost everyone I’ve talked to says we’re going to move to Houston.” Then she added: “What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. “And so many of the people in the arena here, you now, were underprivileged anyway, so this–this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them.”

texansIn an other area the rest of the country is excited about is the fact that they no longer have to listen to stupid Texas idiots droning on and on about how they “don’t really” have to be a state in this country. Nor do they have to remember all about the Alamo and a bunch of other fairly boring bits of Texas history. Let’s be realistic here – the war at the Alamo versus the Battle of Little Bighorn! Even George Custer’s history in relation to the Battle is more interesting Tennessee’s native son Davy Crockett’s association to the Alamo!

Over all, the rest of the United States seems to be excited over the idea to finally get rid of the Republic of Texas once and for all. Now, Texans can concentrate on hating their own children and their own neighbors and the rest of the United States can finally move on without them. Lizzie, back to you.

Thanks Dick!

jobeth

Finally, an in-depth look at the people of Texas, we’ve taken another minute of your time with Jo-Beth Stewart! Jo-Beth! Can you tells us a little bit about these former Americans?

Why Hi Shug!! Yes I can! First of all…We ain’t Texans no more. Let’s get that cleared up right nah. We’re gonna be callin’ ourselves “Texians” from nah on. Ya see? We’ve been mispellin’ “texans” all these years but we’re gonna be spellin’ as “Texians” from now on!!

Nah…I’m in the back yard with Leon and Donny-Paul who are playin’ toilet-seat horseshoes and they gots loads more ta-tell us! Excuse me fellas..!! “Hi again” Donny-Paul! Would you two answer a few questions for Fruit Fly News? Would you care totellFFN what ch’all gonna do when Bush gets home in Crawford tomorrow?

toiletseat horseshoes
Welp, first thing I’m a gonna do it kick him in the butt! Dang fool mad us all look like a bunch of jackasses!

And you Donny-Paul! What’chew gonna down when Bush gets to Crawford?!

SHOOT! First thing I’m gonna do is pack up that Cindy Sheehan and kick that Yankee on outta here! Ah think I’d like to take that out militia-style an clear out all of these Yankees out of da Republic of Texas. …Dang Yankees!

C’mon Leon…let’s get back to the toilet-seats…

Thankee y’all! You see Frizzie! Most Texians are excited about gettin’ rid-a Yankee’s and da Mexicans, them depraved ho-mo-sexuls and them Jewwz and them nappy-haired colerds. We’d been havin’ the opportunity of a life-time here an we ain’t a-gunna screw it all up like we did back in the 1800’s!

Lemme read something to you Frizzie!

Excuse me Jo-Beth, are you telling me that you can read?

Why shore I can! My Mammy taught me when I was 18! So now listen to this Frizzie… This what us Texians are gonna be looking at come tomorrah…

Redneck DogWe are open-minded, but our goal is not to sink into the depraved clinicism of modernity or its equally repugnant cousin, the moral neutrality of post-modernism: giving up on rationality itself. Our belief is that diversification of central command provides for more power in local government, and thus competition between different sets of laws. We’ll see who comes out ahead, when we can each have a chance to live by our unique codes of values.

So as you can see Frizzie…We’re all gonna be a whole lot happier once we finally become free Texians!

Something else to note while we set up our country of heterosexual white-only pure-blooded Texians…thar’s a huge movement going on to begin to finally celebrate those State…err.. Republic of Texas holidays! So, Ah brought alongalistofnewholidaysthatyouprolly never heard of!

KKK

To promote the celebration of Texas Honor Days: Lamar Day, January 26; Texas Statehood Day, February 19; Texas Independence and Flag Day, March 2; Alamo Heroes Day, March 6;Goliad Heroes Day, March 27; San Jacinto Day, April 21; Texian Navy Day, the third Saturday of September; Gonzales Day, October 2; Stephen F. Austin’s Birthday, November 3, and Founders Day, November 6.

So as you can see Frizzie! We’z gonna be just fine down here as Texians and we feel we’ll be loads better without the rest of the United States!

Thank you Jo-Beth, great story.

Lady AnchorWe’d like to thank the people of Texas for their rich and albeit pathetic history. I’m sure I would be in the majority by saying the United States won’t miss Texas…er “Texians” Just as we are certainly not going to be missing that horribly embarrassing George W Bush.

And I’d like to thank y’all…err…Thank you all for watching FFN news tonight. My name is Frizzie McBee and this has been a news-cast from Fruit Fly News. Good night and be well everybody!

The Fruit Fly