Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Iowegians goes to Caucus

alice-goes-to-caucus.jpgIt’s the Iowa Caucus, everybody!! Have you heard?! It’s the Iowa Caucus! It’s finally here! Finish up with the milking, get those chickens fed, let’s head on into town and let’s do some caucusing!!!

Not so fast you Republicans… You guys have a whole lot less to be thrilled about. Apparently, the Mormon Church’s “Dialing For Mittens” campaign is having an opposite reaction to the expected. Romney’s white-shirt-black-tie Dailing Army has become so annoying, Republicans are leaving the party campaign and voting for Obama instead!

One interesting item: Republican turnout calls are picking up Obama supporters on Republican caucus-goers lists. There is going to be a good government/reform vote for Obama crossing over from outside the usual Dem base; especially moderate GOP women. I’ve predicted an Obama Iowa win for a year and I am more confident than ever now. The difference is most local Iowa operatives of both parties now seem to think it’ll be Obama as well.

Richelieu goes on with the painful truth:

The Huckabee versus Romney race is very tight. Caucus turnout could be low; under 78,000 and that would help Huckabee. The crossover for Obama hurts a regular Republican like Romney who needs all the non-Christian conservative votes he can get. No doubt Romney has gained a tremendous amount in last 30 days, but it may not be enough. Mitt’s troops in eastern Iowa are confident and feel they dominate. Operatives in west Iowa and Polk county are far more worried.

Aww…Tough break for the Republicans!!! When the conservatives in big media are chewin’ their nails, it doesn’t seem to be a Blue Red Ribbon season for the Republicans! (Should have thought off all that when they swiped our Habeas Corpus and urinated on our Constitutionally guaranteed right to privacy!)

Even Andrew Sullivan, America’s most famous gay conservative, has a cute little story of an Iowegian lass who flips over the Big “O”:

I am a 31 year old single, professional female, and Iowa native living in Iowa City. I will be a first-time caucus goer tonight. I switched my affiliation from Republican to Democrat only a couple months ago. After many months of being drowned in candidates here in Iowa (I think we ceased having real commercials on TV about a week ago, its been nothing but back-to-back political ads for days), I fully expected to feel relief that this day was finally here. More because I knew tomorrow all the incessant phone calls would stop (Mitt Romney’s campaign called once while I was listening to Obama speak) and life could get back to normal.

I was really surprised to find that when I woke up this morning and saw “Caucus” written on my calendar for today, I was actually excited. Excited to get to participate tonight. Excited when I came to work and found a decorated “O” cookie on my desk from a co-worker. Very excited to be among the very first in the nation to cast a vote for Barack Obama. The only other time I’ve ever been excited or optimistic about a candidate was for John McCain back in 1996, during his plaid shirt days, but even then I wasn’t motivated enough to caucus.asses of evil

And while Republican ooze channels its way through Iowa’s back roads and logging trails, the vaporous stench of corruption is leaking through the doors and crannies into the one room school houses where Republican caucusing takes place. The Brad Blog and Black Box Voting are stumping for attention on a few important messages:

The Iowa Republicans have NOT publicly agreed to promptly release precinct results for the Jan. 3 caucus. Instead, we are seeing bait and switch tactics, as they emphasize to caucus participants that the counting will be done in public at the precinct. While they keep your eye focused on the front end,housefly a switch can take place at the back end. When they release a total result to the media without releasing the individual precinct results at the same time, there is no way at all for citizens to confirm that their precinct results added up to the announced total.

Please CONTACT both the Iowa Republican Party and the Iowa Secretary of State to tell them you expect to see those precinct results published at the SAME time they announce the statewide total. Iowa Republican Party: (515) 282-8105 Iowa Secretary of State: 515-281-0145
515-281-7142 (Fax) sos@sos.state.ia.usGiuliani Smackdown

Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too: “The Republicans are so corrupt, they’ll infiltrate their own caucuses.”

Rotten Rudy Giuliani’s campaign is quickly becoming the laughing stock of the entire Gee-oh-Peee. When everybody thought it was that Arkansas Governor-slash-Jesus-Idiot who ditched Iowegians last night to be on Jay Leno and scab the Writers picket-line who would be the biggest joke, Giuliani simply ditcheds the entire state!! John Marshall says it best (via Crooks and Liars):

In Iowa, where admittedly Rudy hasn’t made much of a run at it, he now appears on track to come in last place among the major candidates. And, to be clear, I’m here defining ‘major’ rather generously as including Ron Paul. In other words, sixth place.

In New Hampshire, Rudy is similarly dropping like a stone. He may still come in third ahead of Mike Huckabee, though they now seem to be roughly tied there.

Nationally, Rudy appears either tied with Huckabee or in a three or four way tie with Huckabee, Romney and McCain, depending on which of the very most recent polls you look at. And expect that number (to borrow the Army aphorism) not to survive first contact with his drubbing in Iowa and New Hampshire.

tsk tsk… Poor Rudy! By the time his buddy Bernard Kerik appears in court to stand trial for being a Major Douche-bag – His race will be..will be… Hell – it’ll be a bigger laughing stock than Alan Keyes’ ehem…”Presidential Campaign”. Black Garbage Fly Says the Carpet Bagger Report of the Rudy and the Iowa Republican caucus goers:

Then, of course, Republicans got a good look at the guy, heard what he had to say, learned about Giuliani’s background, and dropped him like a hot potato. His campaign pulled out of the Ames straw poll, and Giuliani’s support in the state has been in free-fall ever since.

Fred Thompson…And Fredrick of Hollywood Thompson’s campaign? How’s he been doing? Well, when they’re not leaving his campaign and giving him the finger, his campaign staffers are emailing GOP mooks everywhere and asking them to write letters to friends and family to vote for Thompson. (Because he’s way too tired to write each and every letter himself!) Presumably that Republican political activists are far too stupid to write a letter of support for Thompson’s campaign, his campaign staffers offer tips on how to write a letter, and some brilliant ideas to include in the body of the letter.

1. Write 5 or more brief note cards telling an Iowa voter why Fred was a wonderful Senator and why he will make a great President. Many Tennesseans have a personal story to share. Or, if you prefer, use one of the talking points listed below.

2. Suggested greeting: “Dear Friend” or “Dear Fellow Republican.”

3. Suggested closing:

I hope that when you make your important decision, you’ll realize, as I have, that Fred Thompson deserves your vote. Unlike some candidates, he’s a consistent conservative. He was a conservative when he represented me in Tennessee. He’s a conservative today. And he’ll be a conservative as President.

Oooo… It just warms the cauculs of my soul! I’m going to find my No. 2 pencil and my wide-margin tablet and get to work right now!

…And to think about the time when Chris Matthews goes on his show and gushes about how “sexy” Fred Thompson by imagining he smells like Old Spice and hot-Daddy musk oil. It makes you want to laugh until you accidentally leak out a little pee in your bloomers.

houseflyBut the best is for the last (of course!). And that’s when the founders of RedState, one of the Republican’s most popular blog, beats the shit out of the entire GOP line-up…Literally.

First: I have withheld any statement of support for any GOP Presidential candidate because it seemed like bad idea, as a Director of the site, to make such an endorsement, and — God, how I’ve waited to say this — because the whole damned lot can go to Hell. What an incompetent mass of horse rear-flesh bound up in what, on paper, is one of the most talented groups the GOP has ever had. I could go on, but the full thing is in my concurrently posted piece, And the horses you all rode in on, one at a time, then rotate.

Red State founder Thomas demonstrates that he holds a special “fondness” for Mittens Romney with this:

His freaking political campaign is a cult, and I could have been one of his supporters but for the cult he founded. A pox on everyone formally associated with the campaign, and indeed, everyone ever formally associated with that cult.

And he illustrates his “love” with this fabulous little nugget:

And yet, we’re probably stuck with you, because of the incredible incompetence of your opponents. On the Wonder Years, an otherwise awful and highly forgettable show, the narrator once noted that his parents faced a conundrum when deciding how to decorate the kitchen. Dad would insist on some tile he liked. Mom would insist on some tile she liked. They’d compromise on some tile no one in our species liked.

You are that tile, Mitt. You are the “Eh,” Candidate. Congratulations.

I just can’t catch my breath from laughing so hard. I think I’ve got some milk coming through my nose… That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard a Republican say or write in years!FruitFly 6

So get on out there Iowa!! Get those barns cleaned out, get those cows milked and somebody get those eggs picked! Get on your best gingham (blue if your a Democrat and red if your an Idiot), get that wagon hitched and go get Caucused!!!

Rudy Giuliani had NYPD walk his mistress’ dog

Hippy RudyAhhh, nice… Rudy’s finest, NYPD, apparently was in charge of walking his mistress’ dog.

Aides dismissed questions about Nathan’s security detail as old news, since it was reported in 2001 that the NYPD granted her full-time protection that year after an unspecified threat was allegedly made against her. The detail was approved by Giuliani pal Bernard Kerik.

At the time, it was not uncommon to see Nathan being chauffeured around the city in an undercover Dodge with two detectives, who sometimes even helped to walk her dog.

As for the tickets, Carbonetti said they were “a token of goodwill from the city.”

The expenses were all paid with a City Hall American Express card funded with money from mayoral office units that had nothing to do with travel or security.

mosquitoThere’s a fine candidate for President of the United States. These Republicans have produced the scum of their monkey barrel and they’re proud of each and everyone of them.

Josh Marshall has a clearer list:

The Shag Fund not only paid for the 11 tryst visits to Hamptons.

— It paid for hotel and other expenses for mayoral aides — in addition to the security detail — who also went with the mayor to the Hamptons on the tryst weekends.

Nathan’s NYPD-chauffeured tripshousefly (without Rudy) to visit her parents in Pennsylvania, 130 miles outside the city.

— NYPD detectives and city-owned undercover Dodge to drive Nathan around the city.

NYPD detectives and city-owned undercover Dodge to drive Nathan’s friends and family around the city even when she wasn’t in the car.

— NYPD security detail for Nathan, personally approved by Bernard Kerik.

NYPD cops to walk Nathan’s dog.FruitFly 6

Rudy’s buddy Bernard Kerik’s next court appearance will be on January 26th. Perfect timing for a whole slew of presidential primaries throughout the United States within the next four weeks following.

Found on the Outhouse Floor

Rudy Giuliani ‘s Catholic Pervert

Outhouse

In case we all forgot about Rudy’s love toward corrupt and now jailed Bernard Kerik… Rudy’s personal driver was placed as NYPD Police Commissioner, named a partner in Giuliani’s consulting firm, and then placed on the “short-list” to head up Homeland Security. But that was long before Kerik plead guilty for corruption charges and thrown in jail. Now Giuliani declares that he’s “BFF” with an accused child-molester, Monsignor Alan Placa.

houseflyIt would figure that a blow-hard would be best friends with a Catholic cock-sucker.

Plans expected are that the “Liberal Media” will be scrutinizing this story with headlines repeated on CNN, NBC, CBS and ABC for the next nine weeks. PBS, run and managed by Satan worshiping homosexuals, are planning on a five month mini-series to study Monsignor’s victims and raffle through his personal checkbooks. Said CNN’s mega-liberal Wolf Blitzer: “You think you’re tired of Anna Nichole Smith stories on ‘Entertainment Tonight?! You ain’t see nothing yet!”

Conservative Christians are horrified by the news and talks have begun on a public stoning on both Giuliani and Placa.

Barak Obama Climbs In Bed With X-Gay Jesus-Preacher

He’s fuzzy on the gay marriage issue, he flubs up on the “Gen Peter Pace thinks Gays are Immoral” story, he’s AWOL when it comes to the Jenna 6 story, he’s non-committal on saluting the Red, White and Blue and now Barak Obama’s in bed sodomizing an “X-Gay” who’s on a Gospel singing senation in South Carolina.

Donnie McClurkinDonnie McClurkin, a self-righteous “Christian” singer who claims he’s been cured of his propensity for pole-smoking and foreskins, claims homosexuals are a curse.

From their bed, BarakBlack Garbage Fly Obama defended his relationship with McClurkin in a written statement where he said:

I have clearly stated my belief that gays and lesbians are our brothers and sisters and should be provided the respect, dignity, and rights of all other citizens. I have consistently spoken directly to African-American religious leaders about the need to overcome the homophobia that persists in some parts our community so that we can confront issues like HIV/AIDS and broaden the reach of equal rights in this country.

houseflyOnce he finished writing those words, McClurkin offered his own views about their relationship from underneath the bed-linens by saying:

“Murphmmmphpmph. Mrfmmmfmfmf…mm!! Mrphphmmmph -murphmph”

Mitt Romney Opens His Mouth and More Stupid Things Come Out

Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, slipped and flip-flopped again on the war on terrorism and “accidentally” called Barak Obama “Osama” (bin laden) in SC. Romney said:

“Actually, just look at what Osam — Barack Obama — said just yesterday. Barack Obama, calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq. That is the battlefield. … It’s almost as if the Democratic contenders for president are living in fantasyland. Their idea for jihad is to retreat, and their idea for the economy is to also retreat. And in my view, both efforts are wrongheaded.”

Update:

Ben Smith @ Politicol tried to milk a rationalization:

Apparently, Mitt Romney can switch names just as casually as he switches positions, but what’s wrongheaded is continuing a misguided war in Iraq that has left America less safe. It’s time to end the divisiveness and fear-mongering that is at the heart of Governor Romney’s campaign.

Then (Mitt Romney)  he took a swipe at John Edwards with:

 

Deer FlyIt’s my personal belief that having someone like John Edwards, a senator, who goes out and communicates that there is no global war on terror — that it’s just a Bush bumper sticker — I think that is a position that is not consistent with the facts.”

Edwards was the first to responded with:Crayola

First of all, he’s got seeming amnesia. He himself has said that we’re not in a war in terror — I’ll paraphrase it — terrorists are at war with us.

After which, Edwards sent Romney a Crayola box of 64 with the built-in sharpener.

CNN’s Glenn Beck: “Malibu Fires Are Punishing Liberals/Democrats”

CNN’s smartest “news” commentator Glenn Beck shows his patriotism by noting the Malibu fires is a result of the local residents’ hatred toward America.

“I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today.”

USA Flag PinHe then placed a flag-pin on his coat lapel and went on by saying:

There are a few people that hate America. But I don’t think the Democrats are those. I think there are those posing as Democrats that are like that.Uncle Sam Hat

Then he put on his Uncle Sam hat, popped a lithium and began singing “I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy!”and tap-danced his ass off the stage.

Of course, following Beck’s logic, God’s been beating the shit out of “I Hate America” Red states like Louisiana, Florida, and Alabama for the past three years.

Forbes Magazine Ranks Minnesota 15th Greenest State

Minnesota’s been given the award of the “greenest state” followed by extra-green states like New Jersey and Maryland. While New Jersey claims less commuter miles driven each day to work and Maryland claims lower carbon footprints, it’s allhousefly in how it’s stacked up, according to the magazine’s reporters Brian Wingfield and Miriam Marcus.

 

On top: Vermont, Oregon and Washington. All have low carbon dioxide emissions per capita (or “carbon footprints”), strong policies to promote energy efficiency and high air quality, as indicated by their major metro areas that are low in smog and ozone pollution. They’re also among the states with the most buildings (on a per capita basis) that have received the U.S. Green Building Council’s benchmark certification, known as Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED).

FruitFlyMinnesota was rudely kicked to 15th place, the authors’ said, because Minnesota’s leadership keep polluting its rivers by throwing their citizens and their automobiles while crossing the I-35 bridge. “Besides”, Ms. Marcus said; “Technically; Minnesota is only green for about four months out of the year. The rest of the year, Minnesota is all white!”