Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Fruit Fly News Bulletin

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program in an effort to bring you this latest Fruit Fly News Bulletin…

News AnchorHello, this is Frizzie McBee on Fruit Fly News. This just in, less than one hour ago, Congressman Bob Ney (R-Ohio) has plead guilty to being a very bad man. Our sources say that he will be a Prison Wife for approximately 27 months, and that the marriage arrangements have been set up with a fine handsome gentleman named “BOL”, Ohio State Penitentiary prison number 9474523.

Just last month, The Great Fruit Fly, CEO extrodinaire, pointed out that Congressman Ney was the last of the “ScotlandAbramoff Friends Tour” who hasn’t yet been found guilty. This completes the “inner-circle” of Jack Abramoff’s friends who get to take field trips to Scotland on a private Lear as a “personal thank-you” for taking his bribes. This leaves only Ralph Reed (former Executive Director of the Konservative Kristian Koalition, former Lieutenant Governor hopeful-Georgia) who is not going to jail…Yet.

Bob Ney's New Home?!Meanwhile, jailmates everywhere have been breaking out in riots, fighting over whether or not they’ll get to take turns with the Congressman. Nuptual visits for those visits outside of the penetentiary have not been clarified, but those cellmates inside the pententiary have already begun to lining up the “pecker-order”.Prison Bitch

Bol Johnston, Congressman Ney’s future prison-husband, stated that he was excited to receive his new wife. Johnston, found guilty of killing kittens and running over little old ladies, has stated that Congressman Ney will be his fifth wife in his current nine year prison sentance.

Johnston said; “I saw him on the TV in the rec room and he looks like he’s got a real purty mouth. That’s what’s important… if they got a purty mouth, then I’m very excited.”

Mrs. Ney, meanwhile, has offered the Congressman her complete collection of cosmetics. “He’s going to need my support in everyway, I’m excited for the opportunity to help. He’s really a wonderful husband when he’s not taking bribes drinking.News Anchor

Tune into Fruit Fly News during our evening broadcast for more information this story and other news. Thank you for watching, my name is Frizzie McBee.

This has been a Fruit Fly News Bulletin. We return now to our originally schedule program already in progress.