Senator Mel Martinez (R-FL) Resigning Term Early

An easy moderate for Florida, Senator Martinez told staffers this morning in a meeting that he would not be returning to the Senate after the summer recess. The Senator is rumored to pursuit a presidential position at Florida State University which was recently vacated. The Senator has a history of being very gay-friendly in spite of his party’s homophobic attitudes towards the GLBT Community.

His re-election takes place next year and Florida law gives Governor Charlie Crist (R) the opportunity to appoint a caretaker to the vacancy until the Nov. 2010 election. From the L.A. Times:

Crist stuck his head out of the front door of the Governor’s Mansion this morning and told us he hadn’t spoken with Sen. Mel Martinez yet and had no other comment on the reports of his resignation.

It’s important to note that Florida was one of the “13 Bush States” that Barack Obama picked up in last year’s election making the upcoming election a definite toss-up.

Governor Pawlenty failes Econ 101…again

tim-palenty4This picture of our Governor Tim Pawlenty barely missing that ball reminds me of his current thoughts on Macro- economics.

Poor Governor Pawlenty; not only does he miss the opportunity to be the Republican Super Hero here in St Paul by being Sen John McCain’s choice as Veep, but he’s now getting compared to being a dumber choice for the position as a V.P. than Caribou Barbie herself.

The GOP ignored Pawlenty during the recent Republican Governors Association (RGA) and desperately turned towards Sara Palin during the in Miami just a few weeks ago. Not only was our own Tim Pawlenty “out of focus”, he was completely Out of Touch. The scene in Miami was so bad that Republican Governor Rick Perry (R-Texas) practically pushed Palin off the stage less she make a bigger idiot of herself.

And where was Pawlenty? Minnesota’s favored dimpled-donned fearless leader during that big bash in Miami?

He was MIA, like a Republican draft card. He is the sitting Chair of the National Governors Association you know. That trumps Rick Perry, Sarah Palin as well as Rot-Gut governor in Illinois, Rod Blagojevich.

In a piece Governor Pawlenty wrote for Politico entitled: “Cut up the credit cards“, our very own Governor proves his lack of economic intelligence by trying to invigorate the failing Republican Party:

Republicans should push for the enactment of an amendment to the United States Constitution requiring a balanced federal budget. This initiative is based on the common sense, kitchen table logic that most Americans and businesses live by. They expect the same from their government but haven’t been getting it lately.

Passing this amendment will be no small task…. Getting it done will require a two-thirds vote by both houses of Congress, followed by ratification by three-fourths of the states.

While daunting, this effort will unify and energize Republicans. It will require the GOP at all levels to be engaged in a common sense agenda that is compelling, conservative and that will positively transform America.

In Political Animal of The Washington Monthly, Steve Benen fired off:

This is so blisteringly stupid, I find it hard to believe an elected official would actually put his name on it. Maybe the Politico is playing a practical joke on Pawlenty, in the hopes of making him appear like a fool.

It’s no practical joke, It is, indeed, our idiotic Governor in Chief. Let’s all remember Pawlenty Economic initiative like, oooh… say: “Naming your Lieutenant Governor to be head of Minn Dept of Transportation so the state can save $108,000 annually.” In the world of Economics, an annual $100,000 is a drop in the bucket, but to Governor Pawlenty, it’s “Coupon Sunday!”.

Woo-Hoo-Hoo-Ray!

Governor Pawlenty is not the Brain Trust that Republican some folks think.

Benen goes on and slams the Governor on two points:

I honestly don’t know where to begin in responding to such an insane policy prescription.

  • The first point, of course, is that trying to balance the budget in the midst of a financial crisis is the exact opposite of what every sane person realizes we need — a government stimulus to help spur the economy. Why would Pawlenty recommend slashing hundreds of billions of dollars in government spending right now?
  • Second, that the Minnesota governor sees a similarity between an individual family’s budget and that of the United States government suggests he has a child-like understanding of economic basics.

Governor Pawlenty isn’t alone in this line of thinking. Republican Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina told the Wall Street Journal:

When times go south you cut spending,” Gov. Sanford said. “That’s what families do, that’s what businesses do, and I don’t think the government should be exempt from that process.”

The idea these Republicans are pushing right now is that they’re against these federal bailouts and believe the financial crises can be resolved by spending cuts and reducing government. It’s exactly what Herbert Hoover did while dipping dangerously close to a depression – he cut everything off and we finally landed in the ditch wildly known as “The Great Depression”. (Hint: “You give money out, boys. Lots of it…The more you give out, the more people will spend it!”)

Republican Governors are facing the same problem everywhere: Lack of cash. Going against their genetic makeup by raising taxes, they’ve finally had their “Come to Jesus” by raising Sin Taxes on cigarettes. Governors Charlie Crist (R-FL) and Haley Barbour (R-MS) both have proposals to do just that. Pawlenty? Well, he’ll bitch and crab about Obama’s offer to help states and local municipalities, but he’s still planning on heading back to St Paul to demand the DFL kiss his ass by hacking away at LGA’s (Local Government Authorities) and the (Twin Cities) Met Council.

The second part of Pawlenty’s comment is equally stupid. I’ll agree with Steve Brenen that Publius described it best by noting:

This is of course dead wrong — and confuses microeconomics with macro, as any student of Econ 101 could tell you. The micro-considerations of an individual family or business has nothing much to do with what governments need to do to get the larger economy moving again. (Or just go read someone who actually knows what he’s talking about – Krugman). Even worse, it’s often affirmatively harmful to adopt microeconomic solutions to macroeconomic problems. Hoover: Ain’t that the truth.

Is it any wonder we’re having this financial crisis?

Republican President Ronald Reagan kicked off the modern Neocon movement with two simple statements:

  • The government isn’t part of the problem, the government is the problem!
  • The most terrifying words you’ll ever hear are: “Hello, I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

Since then, the hatred toward the United States Government, US Government departments, US Government programs and US Government workers that have been under attack by the Republican Party ever since. The problem is obvious: Even the GOP doesn’t understand end of the line. Grover Norquist, the “Field Marshal” for Bush’s tax-cuts once said:

“My goal is to cut government in half in twenty-five years, to get it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.”

…And with Governor Pawlenty, his hatred for our government gave us thirteen Minnesotans drowned in the Mississippi under the rubble of what used to be “Interstate 35-W”. Who needs a bathtub when you have a river that’s right handy?

FruitFly 6Pawlenty needs to find a new way to be that “Rising Star” from within the GOP, and he needs cook up a whole new kettle of fish as Ronald Reagan did so eloquently thirty years ago. Until then; trying to sound like an expert on Macroeconomics simply isn’t working in his favor. He’s presenting a very stupid argument on Politico and the rest of the mass media is mocking him publicly. And their heckling, I can only hope, includes their pity on the rest of us Minnesotans who have to live under this stupid Governor of ours.

Alaskans’ might have a smarter governor than we have, although I cringe at the very thought.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Governor Gridlock: Is He Worse for the MN GOP Than We Thought?!

Pawlentys Meddling KidsGawds, do I love that nickname for Pawlenty: “Governor Gridlock. ” All that blustery show-offy crap while he whips out his “Veto Pen” and <pooof!>, he’s lost all of his friends.

That veto-pen wave may have been for his audition tape for “America’s Next Vice President.” But the governor will not be Sen. John McCain’s running mate. Here are some facts to help him get his mind back on his day job…

I had dinner with my folks last week. They’re both ultra-ultra-right wingers. Needless to say, it’s always an interesting conversation when politics are brought up.

Wayne Cox is the man I wished had joined me for that dinner.

• He brings zero promise of electoral votes to the ticket. Minnesota has not voted in favor of a Republican presidential candidate in 36 years.

• Pawlenty has helped turn Minnesota decidedly anti-Republican. When he took office, Republicans held 60 percent of the seats in the Minnesota House. They now hold 36 percent.

Hear Hear!!! That last election, he also lost all of the elected state officers chairs who were Republicans. i.e. That crazy wretch the Minn GOP loved so much named Mary Kiffmeyer. She was a trip without luggage. I thought she had to go when she tried to run off those college kids to keep them from voting and I thought: “There’s a good Nazi for you.”

• Pawlenty is turning suburban Republican legislators into an endangered species. How many more times can Gov. Gridlock ask the few remaining to vote against jobs and education and transportation solutions?

Mr. Cox; Governor Gridlock will have all of the fan-fare available to him as long as he thinks he’s popular. You have to remember, these are Republicans!! They are blameless! You can’t tell a Republican they’re “wrong”! They’re never “wrong”. How silly can you be?!?

saddle shoesThe Minnesota GOP gets all giggly-eyed when they talk about Pawlenty and they rock back and forth in their saddle shoes trying to convince themselves of the stupidest stuff about him.

My favorite: Since he’s national chair of the “Oldest Man in American History to Run for President” campaign, Pawlenty will be introducing the DC Republican “Politburo” to Minnesota cuisine like…”White Castle Hot Dish” and “Tater Tot Casserole”.

But Mr. Cox isn’t finished with “Governor Gridlock”:

The longer Pawlenty serves, the fewer Republican legislators serve with him. Prof. Larry Jacobs has described Pawlenty as “Clintonian” in his appeal: “It just drives Democrats crazy.” Actually, it just drives Democrats to the bank. Pawlenty is the gift that keeps on giving.

DFLers are now only five votes away from veto-proof majorities in both houses. In 2005, national political analyst Stuart Rothenberg was asked whether Pawlenty was a vice presidential possibility. He said: not after the state’s legislative election results.

That’s EXACTLY what I was saying to my folks last week! Pawlenty is the worst politician in Minnesota running right now. Thankfully, he’s a Republican and their arrogance knows no bounds.

Channeling Wayne

• But didn’t Pawlenty’s reelection in 2006 show he knows how to win in a Democratic year?

What he did was not exceptional at all. Thirteen Republican governors ran for reelection. Twelve won. While incumbent governors rarely lose, Pawlenty barely won. A third-party candidate siphoned off enough votes from solidly DFL districts to allow Pawlenty to squeak through. He is the only two-term Minnesota governor in 100 years to never win a majority.

If Pawlenty was as good as the GOP gushes, Pawlenty should have won handidly. Pawlenty’s didn’t run a good campaign, Mike Hatch ran a crappy one! (Like that running-mate of Hatch’s, Judi Dutcher who went blabbering on about how she didn’t know anything about ethenol. Duh! The next thing to come out of Judi Dutcher’s mouth was: “When I go to college, I want to be a veterinarian because I love children…”)

• But isn’t Pawlenty popular?

He is, but he can’t deliver votes for McCain. In the Minnesota caucuses, Mitt Romney trounced McCain, and the Obama tsunami outpolled McCain 10 to 1. If Pawlenty can’t get votes for McCain in Minnesota, where can he?

That’s a “No-Brainer”. And Pawlenty couldn’t get votes out to elect one of his own State Senator in Northfield either!

• Couldn’t Pawlenty just say, “Minnesota is a great state and I’m the guy who leads it”?

Minnesota is a great state. But by most measures it has become less great since Pawlenty took office. He is the only Minnesota governor in recent history to see the state’s unemployment rate go above the national average.

No kidding! …And he’s the only Minnesota governor to let his citizens be killed by an inept Transportation Commissioner who runs MN DOT with bubble-gum wrapper and a paper-clip dispenser!

• McCain needs to shore up support from the right. Wouldn’t anti-tax Pawlenty fill the bill?

No. The Huckabee holdouts are evangelicals. If McCain uses the running-mate spot to draw them in, he has to name someone from their camp.

huckleberry-hound-cartoons.jpgThis is another no-brainer. Huckleberry Hound is going to stay in the race all the way up to the Convention in St Paul if he can. Huckleberry, as he said the other day on Meet the Press: “I didn’t major in mathematics, I majored in miracles!” And that’s why Huckleberry Hound is staying in this race: He’s waiting for archangels to come flying out of his ass!

Most speculation points to a Southern governor or senator. The Southern governor who has appeared on TV standing at McCain’s shoulder the nights of his recent primary victories, Charlie Crist of Florida, best fits the bill. Crist has already helped McCain win the Florida primary. He is a young, congenial moderate who works well with his Legislature and gets things done. Just this month, his property tax reform referendum was approved by voters by the 60 percent margin needed. He’s an achiever who helps his party win. Pawlenty is a roadblock who helps his party lose.

I would probably disagree with Crist as a running mate for McCain. There are tons of speculation about Crists’ homosexuality and he’s virtually unknown in American public politics. The Governor of Mississippi, Haley Barbour (R-MS), comes to my mind as a person who’s a much better candidate. He’s part of George W. Bush’s Good Ole Boy network and the’ve recovered from Hurricane Katrina quite nicely!

FruitFlyWayne Cox’s last paragraph:

What should Pawlenty do? [TERMINATE CAROL MOLNAU IMMEDIATELY!!] There’s always 2012. He should follow the lead of successful Republican governors like Crist and build a record of results. Start this session by signing into law those solutions that would help put Minnesota on track and help take Minnesota Republican lawmakers off the endangered species list.

Who’s the next GOP Homo to be Outed?

Congressman Patrick McHenry (R-NC) (Very gay!), Congressman David Dreier (R-CA) (everybody knows he’s gay already anyway), US Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) (everybody knows he’s gay too) and US Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) (Is he gay? ewww… Please say it isn’t so!!!!)

Pick a Homo

Congressman Patrick McHenry has dirty hands connected to a murder-suicide case involving a couple of gay men and a str8 guy. On a scale of 1 to 10, the case is a 9 on the “Ick-factor” for the cult-overtones. It’s pretty safe in betting McHenry’s a homosexual.

This is the new “gossip” in DC. The Washington Post has even noted that Mike Rogers, of BlogActive fame, is now the most feared person in Washington DC. Why is this gay man so scary? Because he’s keeping tabs on all of the Republican Closet-Cases on the Hill.

Condi RiceWho else is on the list of whispering lips? White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten who won’t even attend the gay weddings held at the White House with Condi Rice presides over! Rumors about Bolton using Bo Derek as a beard have been around since early 2000.

(Update: I forgot to mention Charlie Crist, R-Governor ofcharlie crist Florida. Mainstream media has protected Crist’s closeted homosexuality from the beginning. Admitedly, he was married, for seven months, and there’s that weird radio talk-show blunder. But that doesn’t keep the rumors from spreading. If you have the time, I encourage you to read a rather lengthy article about a 21-year old Republican aide named Jason Wetherington and his ties with both Charlie Crist and Mark Foley. You just know one day – Charlie Crist will fly out of that Closet with or without his life-partner Bruce Carlton Jordan.)

Republican ElephantSo if I had to guess out of all of these, I’m going to say it’ll be Patrick McHenry who will be “Outted” from the Closet next. I say that because there’s a crime scene that connects McHenry directly to the case. It won’t be long before evidence turns up and McHenry will get pried out of The Closet in a far more dramatic fashion than any drag queen could possibly imagine.

Me