The “Purification” of the GOP (The Matzo ball Soup Lunch)

Matzo ballC’mone in! Come on! Oh, don’t worry about your shoes, they’re fine. I’m so glad youLox came! C’mon sit down! “Take a load off!” as they say. Sit! Sit! I’m in the middle of my lunch; a little bit of smoked Lox and a bowl of Matzo ball soup. You want some?! No? I don’t blame you. I’ve discovered I’m not too much of a fan of the stuff. The Lox is okay but the soup? I dunno. Let’s put it this way: I am no longer curious as to why there aren’t any television shows focusing on Jewish cuisine on that Food Network channel.

The Matzo balls are okay – but the broth is pretty thin – huh? Oh no, no, no…I’m not Jewish. I’m gay, so I have a natural affinity for anything that comes accessorised with balls. You should see my Christmas tree! Oy Vey! I’ve got more swinging balls on my tree than you can count at a gay pride parade!. No, I just thought I’d try it and see what it tastes like…

Here…let me show you something. Check this out:

Gay Republicans come out of the closet

This is the funniest article I’ve read in months. This is a piece written about a gay couple in South Carolina who’s “coming out of the ‘Gay Closet’ and hoping the South Carolina GOP will be welcoming them with open arms.

The article is all about the GOP is being shunned in every aspect of America society. Concerned, more and more RepublicanPig Lipstick gay and lesbian people are joining the Log Cabin Republicans: “Because they’re worried about the party extinction”. I’m paraphrasing, I know. Go ahead and read it yourself. But the real gem is on the third page.

The conversation revolves around this one (minor) hope in the link between Rudy Giulinani and the LCR’s. Guiliani of course, hangs with the Manhattan queens in between marriages, and his very weird attraction for going out in drag. Noel Freeman out of the Houston (Texas) Chapter finds comfort in Giuliani:

“I think it is refreshing to see a prominent Republican who is supportive of our issues doing so well,” said Noel Freeman, who is head of Log Cabin’s Houston chapter.

Gay Republican activists say the party needs to expand its base if it wants to remain relevant by shedding its anti-abortion and anti-gay rights platforms and aiming for the political center on social issues.

houseflyBut then Freeman drops the bomb on page 3 and I think it’s not only an accurate statement, but a very funny one too:

“I’m afraid that the Republican Party is going to make itself so pure that it will be able to meet in a phone booth,” said Freeman.

LOL! They’re comin’ to the Twin Cities next year to hang out in our PHONE BOOTHS! ALL SEVEN OF THEM!

Oh dear, I just think that’s too funny… Who needs the Xcel Energy center when you can rent a couple of telephone booths and your delegates and call in their votes with a quarter?

An Coulter…And for a political party who’s idolatry involves capitalism and Mens Restrooms, you’d think they would be looking for voters to buy into their greed and their wars. No. They’re chasing them away. Check out their Great White Princess, Ann Coulter. At 46, she’s the only one who thinks she’s attracting votes with a micro-mini and a mouth that could suck the chrome off a trailer-hitch. We’re seriously running out of groups she hasn’t vented on either. Let’s see; there are the 911 widows, women’s suffrage in general (Coulter doesn’t think women are smart enough to vote) and her newest group: The Jews. Coulter thinks Jews need to be “perfected“. Now that Ann Coulter is sounding an aweful lot like Joseph Goebbels, she is no friend to the GOP. And yet they can’t help but buy her books and give her air-time just to watch her do her best hair-flip.Malkin Enemy

I’m sorry. I’m being rude. Can I get you some coffee? Tea? Coffee?! Oh good! I have a fresh brew of some of Starbucks beans. I’ll be right back…

…So if they’re not pissing off the Jews, women and the 9-11 widows, who’s next?!! Sugar or cream?! They’ll focus on the Asian Americans of course! Michelle Malkin, a Filipino-American and über-conservative herself, runs out and says

 

“Hillary campaign contributors” who were “smellier than stinky tofu.”

Honestly: How much hypocrisy are the American voterBlack Garbage Fly expected to buy from these … people? Malkin goes on a rant on the topic in her piece entitled:

Spanking Asian-American grievance-mongers again

Hypocrite Card

…where she says:

“If it’s ‘ethnic profiling’ to be extra-careful of Chinatown donors who can’t speak English, live in dilapidated buildings, have never voted, can’t tell Hillary Clinton from Hunan Chicken or simply can’t be found, then ‘ethnic profiling’ should be the standard procedure of every responsible campaign.”

Malkin played her Hypocrite card with that one. She must have been “feeling” her groove while she was out on that field trip visiting the Frost family and terrorizing their neighborhood. Putting the kibosh on the SCHIP for families who can’t afford health insurance for their kids was a HUGE coup d’état for the GOP. Malkin terrorizing the Frost familyWicked drew the largest applause from Ebeneezer Scrooge, Blue Cross/Blue Shield and Elphaba Thropp. Her latest in spoofing the Asian-American community by declaring their incompetence proved her willingness to be nothing but a three-dollar whore for the Hate-Party of the GOP.

The GOP’s hatred of children isn’t lost on some “poor” little brats either. Locally here in Minnesota, former state representative Phil Krinkie (now chairman of the Minnesota Tax Payer League) is calling to jettison mentally handicapped and physically challenged children from our local school districts. He thinks they should be shunted into isolated “special schools” where it’ll be easier to defund their education Deer Flyand leave those kids to get their education behind their neighbor’s garbage cans. Krinkie also wants class sizes expanded to 200 to 300 students per class because it more “closely reflects what college life would be like.” (Watch the video here.) Funny, don’t you think? Phil Krinkie wants class sizes at 300 students, but there’s no talk about school teachers getting professor-sized salaries.

And the in-fighting within the party ranks is both witty and delightful. The James Dobson crowd has all but bailed on the entire GOP ticket. The Evangelicals have declared a military junta against the GOP if Giuliani or Romney win the nomination. Holding a debate at a predominantly African-American university, the GOP’s top four most popular candidates simply failed to show up, snubbing the entire African-American community. Their wanna-be website “Redstate” was created to look like the progressive/liberals DailyKos site: a one-stop shopping experience for everythinghousefly conservative, political and Whitey. They decided to kick out their members who are excited about Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul.

“Effective immediately, new users may *not* shill for Ron Paul in any way shape, form or fashion. Not in comments, not in diaries, nada. If your account is less than 6 months old, you can talk about something else, you can participate in the other threads and be your zany libertarian self all you want, but you cannot pimp Ron Paul. Those with accounts more than six months old may proceed as normal.”RNC 2008

Can we scratch off any expectations that Ron Paul supporters will be showing up in Minneapolis/St Paul next year? We’ve already scratched off the Asians, the Jews, African-Americans, Evangelical Christians and women (especially the 9-11 Widows). OH! I forgot: ..and every American voter making less than $80,000 annually who have children and can’t afford health insurance.

Then there are the parents who have children who are handicapped and any parents who appreciate small class sizes.

To be fair to the Gestapo good folks over a Redstate, they have rescinded the ban on Ron Paul supporters. Andrew Sullivan opened his site on The Dish for the little jihadist geeks to gush over their favorite on his site and Redstate took an offense to it. Andrew Sullivan is gay you see…And well…Redstate well, we all know what Republicans thing about The Gays. But in the meantime; we can all THANK GOD for the Log Cabin Republicans are worried about the extinction of the GOP!! Can you think of anybody else that are worried?

We’re now thinking the 2008 Republican Convention campaign is going to be nothing but a KKK rally high on Red Bull.

KKK

Their fighting within the political ranks are becoming more apparent as well as within their own blogospheres. It’s almost like watching championship Halo III tournaments in slow-mo.

Late September, the National Republican Campaign Committee chair Tom Cole (R-OK) was threatening to resign. If he did, then John Boehner (R-OH) was going to have the two most senior positions fired immediately. It’s right here – check it out:

In a recent meeting in the minority leader’s office, Boehner told Cole that he was displeased at how the NRCC is being run. Republican sources say Boehner wants to replace Pete Kirkham, the NRCC’s executive director, and Terry Carmack, its political director, with more “aggressive” people with a more “realistic” view on next year’s elections, sources said.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. After Boehner slaps Cole around like a butcher with a slab of beef, Cole starts yelling at his employees in German saying…here…right here:

After the meeting, an angry Cole called together the NRCC staff and told them [in perfect German] that if they were not happy working at the committee, they might want to consider leaving immediately, said several GOP insiders. That Cole outburst occurred last Monday, said the sources.

mosquitoBut the fight going on isn’t with staffing and leadership at all. The real in-fighting is coming out of a really stressed out Republican party. Because all you have to do is let your be-jeweled finger scroll down the piece and find the magic bullet …there:

The NRCC has raised $34.6 million this cycle, compared with $43.6 million by the DCCC, although the big difference is cash-on-hand, where Democrats have a huge advantage: $22 million in cash, compared with the NRCC’s $1.6 million.

The NRCC also has $4 million in outstanding debt left over from the 2005-06 cycle, down from nearly $11 million at the beginning of the year, according to its latest filing with the Federal Election Commission. The Democrats’ debt is $3.1 million.

Now that I’m thinking about it, let me call St Paul mayor Chris Coleman and make sure these itchy Republican parasites have enough to pay for their GOP Presidential campaign election!

They’ve already begun to eat their own. Larry Craig wanted to attend a GOP NRSC fundraiser in the sunshiny resort area of Sea Island, GA. NRSC staffers had to call Craig’s office to let him know that he wasn’t invited even though he circled “YES” on the RSVP. The NRSC chair, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) has been blasting Craig’s behavior and everybody realizes that the Party Pervert is a huge drag on fund-raising.

Look, it’s like Martin Niemoeller said:

In Germany they came first for the commmunists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Niemoeller was wrong. You’ll always have Noel Freeman and a handful of Log Cabin Republicans who’ll speak up for you. They’ll go to any mile, any length to save the GOP. The more the GOP hates them, the greater the appeal. And when everybody in America hates these GOP parasites, they’ll always have the gays and lesbians who’ll worry about them.FruitFly 6

Are you sure about that soup? I can get you a cup if you’d prefer. Do you want to take some home with you? I can get a “go cup” and you can just heat it up in the microwave. How about some Lox?!

Found At A Magazine Stand

More Bush Bull-SCHIPNewspaper stand

Freepers scream and complain about the Democrats using a 7th Grader to deliver the weekly radio address. The GOP Response: “The Horror!”, “The Shame!”

Bush’s Education Budget has been cut over $30 Billion within a year.

…”The Hypocracy!” <crickets creaking><toads croaking>

Black Garbage Fly

Senator Larry Craig: “Master baiting with his wiener”

He calls it his “Super Tuber”. Senator Larry “Dirty Potty Boy” Craig brags up his favorite way to munch on an Idaho potato. He carves out a hole in it and sticks his wiener inside and dips it in his special sauce.

Don’t believe me? Click here and enjoy!

One more to defend

Ralph Regula (R-OH) has announce his retirement as being imminent. OUCH! Regula’s departure was unexpected as they’re already scrambling for Congresscritters who are under investigation for taking bribes, questionable land-deals and being busted in sex-scandals.

boccieri 1

boccieri 3

The RNCC is already bankrupt. Defending that chair and keeping it Red is going to be a mega-huge problem for them.

Meanwhile, John Boccieri is going to be the expected winner of that chair. He’s got the nod from big-named groups like VotesVets and WesPac. Best of all, he’s a mega-hottie.

The GOP has stooped to begging

The GOP is freaking out and kissing Jim Ramstad’s big white booty begging him to take back his resignation letter and stay in office. I won’t even bother with commentary, especially when MNPublius does it far better than I could.

Nursing Care for the GLBT senior citizenhousefly

Joe My God has a fascinating peek on the NYT’s insight towards elderly gay and lesbian citizens going back into the closet as they enter hetero-dominated nursing homes.

There are an estimated 2.4 million elderly LGBT people in America, most of whom are forced back into the closet when they enter nursing care, living the last days of their lives in unimaginable loneliness. The Times article goes on to discuss the isolation and dangers that elderly gays face, but speaks optimistically about the gay-specific nursing home/assisted care facilities that are opening around the country.

I know of high-income GLBT nursing care and assisted living programs going on in Phoenix, Florida and Southern Cal. But, senior living for the rest of society’s GLBT scum is fairly non-existent. As the Baby-Boomer generation enters retirement, there’s a looming disaster in our (GLBT) horizon.

Deer FlyAmerican Marines held at gun-point by American paid Mercenaries

Blackwater SUV full of mercenaries crashes into a Marine Humvee. Blackwater bailed out, disarmed the Marines, got them on the ground and held them at gun point while they separated the two vehicles.

If I were an Iraqi civilian witnessing that scene, I wouldn’t know what to think!

DailyKos has the full story and theyFruitFly 6 have another video of a firefight our military is involved in and they’re taking orders from Blackwater civilian-clad mercenaries. It’s enough to make you erp your lunch.

These Republicans… Ya know..! They just know how to support our troops. They really do.

Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville”

Rita SkeeterA few years ago, Minneapolis Star-Tribune hired a “conservative” voice for the paper – what they ended up with was a dolt. Katherine Kersten’s writings are poorly researched, her facts are dubious at best and her conservative values forces her into the Land of Hypocrisies. I remember one of her earliest columns where she finger-wagged her critics that picking on her because of her religion was strictly off-base. Yet, since the Imams story broke last year, Kersten routinely ridicules and/or marginalizes the Muslim faith. If there’s an update on the lawsuit the Imams have filed, Kersten’s on top of it. Did I already complain about her lack of factual information? Oh good, I did.

Because today’s column is no different. In her piece: “PlentyBlack Garbage Fly of surprises in Ghost Town of political moderates“, she writes…an allegory(?) about moderate Republicans who are leaving Congress and it reminds her of a “ghost town”. It’s a really stupid column that’s factually flawed but packed with complaints about liberal blogs like DailyKos, liberal groups like Move-On and the DLC. She notes that Minnesota’s 3rd CD Jim Ramstad’s departure reminds her of a ghost town and finishes with this paragraph:

Today, there’s a regular stampede of moderates running for office. But they are more likely to wear a red Republican R brand than a blue D

Huh?! What does this have to do with a ghost town? And the facts are once again; completely wrong.

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #1: There is a stampede going on — And the stamped is Republicans switching to become Democrats. Most recently in Texas, Represenative Kirk England of Grand Prairie announced his leaving the Republican Party and will caucus for Democrats from now on. England said with his middle finger in the air:

“After one session in the House, I found that the Republican leadership in Austin had no tolerance for the values and priorities of the folks I represent.

Note to Katherine Kersten: This is a quote from a Texan!

Last October, The Washington Post wrote a story that nine Republicans in Kansas have switched to the Democrat Party. In the piece entitled “Moderates in Kansas Decide They’re Not in GOP Anymore“, it noted that Mark Parkinson, the former Chair of the Kansas GOP has walked out of the party and ran for Lieutenant Governor with Kathleen Sebelius as a Democrat. And guess what – he won. The former GOP chairman of Kansas runs as a Democrat for Lt Governor and wins?!?!? He won?!?

We can’t even paint Kansas a deep-purple Red anymore…It’s Bluer than my Ben Franklin Purple-heart pin!!!

Last August 3, 2006, a rumor started that State Senatormosquito Nancy Riley of Oklahoma was trading her big red “R” brand for a shiny blue “D” brand because she was sick of the way the GOP had been treating her. By the end of the day, she switched and said this:

Riley says she was completely ignored by the Republican caucus during this year’s legislative session. She believes her treatment is because of her moderate views and because she’s a woman.

Note to Katherine Kersten:

Watch out Honey!! With the number of moderate Republicans stampeding to wear a big Blue “D” brand, you’re likely to get run over!!

Update #3: The term “RINO”, or “Republican In Name Only” shows up on ABC’s “Brothers and Sisters” program in Episode #25. The Walker family is heading to San Diego to reclaim a family-member and Kitty Walker (Republican-Calista Flockhart insists on tuning in the family car auto to a Konservative Radio Talk-Jock who makes animal noises when describing Ms. Walker’s fiance’. When asked about the noises, Kitty says; “It’s a rhinoceros” and her gay brother says: “I get it…RINO…”Republican In Name Only”.)

Updated #2: In Fairfax, VA, State Senator Jeannemarie Devolites Davis (R) is now running around calling herself a “RINO“: Republican In Name Only. In a district that’s regarded the most affluent in the state, Republicans watch it turning Blue and their state senator knows she can’t win on a Republican ticket.

Voters backed Democrats in the past two gubernatorial elections and went for U.S. Sen. Jim Webb last November.

JIm Hovland

Update #1: Ohhhhh…SNAP!! Big E from MnBlue just slapped me with a Comment. Apparently, Edina, MN mayor Jim Hovland is another “moderate Republican” who just might run for Ramstad’s Congressional seat… As a Democrat! How could I have missed that one?!?! I…Why I must have had a “Kersten-Sized brain-fart and forgot to do my research!”

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #2: Kersten said:

Rep. Jim Ramstad of the Third Congressional District, who recently announced his retirement, is the latest to star in this tragic/heroic role.

Wrong. If Kersten bothered fact-checking herself, she would have discovered that the Star-Tribune reported Ramstad’s departure was on the 17th of September. One Friday Setember 21st, Jerry Weller (R-IL) of th 11th Congressional District announced he will not be seeking a re-election, making Congress Weller the latest star that is “stampeding” out of Congress. To make the fact even more painful, Weller’s stepping down is in a large part because of the amount of investigations and allegations against him.

mosquito…In fact: A watchdog group has declared Weller one of the most corrupt members of Congress, there’s a subpoena in a former colleague’s bribery trial and criticism from not revealing to Congress the extent of Nicaraguan land purchases.

Other Republicans “stampeding” out of Congress so far includes Conservative Republican John Warner of Virginia and Moderate Republican Chuck Hagel of Nebraska.

Now what about this allegory of a “Ghost Town” of moderate Republicans? What would Katherine Kersten’s thriving little “Republicanville” town look like?

houseflyRep. Ken Calvert (R-CA) ,Rep. John T. Doolittle (R-CA), Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), Rep. Doc Hastings (R-WA), Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA), Rep. Gary G. Miller (R-CA), Rep. Timothy F. Murphy (R-PA), Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM), Rep. Rick Renzi (R-AZ), Rep Harold Rogers (R-KY), Rep Don Young (R-AK), Rep Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-CA), Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) and Rep. Heather A. Wilson (R-NM) would be headed to jail and/or under investigation by the local town sheriff. This includes both of Alaska’s Republican US Senators Ted Stevens and Lisa Murkowski, Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Kentucky’s Republican Senator Mitch McConnell.

Oklahoma Co Sheriff Republicanville would be jam-packed with Preachers who love the town whores. Preachers like Ted Haggard, Lonnie Latham and Coy Privette all enjoying adultery while finger-wagging the townsfolk all about the sins listed in the Bible. The only town’s preacher who isn’t sleeping with a prostitute is the town drunk who’s wearing a skirt and urinating against the local theater. And the sheriff arrested him once and the preacher offered fellatio on the sheriff and his deputy.

In fact, prostitution would seem to be the only industry inhousefly Kersten’s Republicanville that thrives!

Shoot! You can even get a discount from one of the Local Madam’s whores just by mentioning David Vitter’s (R-LA) name! In Republicanville, even the lone outhouse is haunted by State Represenative Bob Allen (R-FL) offering the men needing to use the toilet a shiny $20 gold-coin if they’ll give him the privilege to perform fellatio on them while Larry Craig (R-ID) is offering fellatio on the inside for free!

FoleyKersten’s perfect bustling town would have one radio station who’s only talk-show host is an over-weight drug addict who flies to tropical paradise islands where boy-prostitution is legal with an erectile dysfunction prescription filled out to somebody else. And while we’re talking about molesting little boys, let’s make sure we don’t forget Repupublicanville’s favored son Mark Foley (R-FL) who can molest your son faster than Kersten can write more bullshit in her next column.

Shucks Katherine, I completely forgot! Former United States Speaker of the House “Fat” Denny Hastert (R-IL) has decided to leave Congress faster than he could drum up an Exit Sign after deciding Mark Foley did no-wrong.

mosquitoBy the way: If your kid isn’t getting molested in Republicanville, he’s probably being raped in his sleep by the chair of the National Young Republicans Federation. If you have a daughter, she would be getting raped by the local National Young Republicans and then run around telling everybody that she deserved it.

Bush plays guitar

One time, the town had a flood that could have been easily prevented, but Republicanville’s Mayor ignored the town and decided instead hang on in a sing-along with a no-name musician named Mark Willis. When a bridge fell down in the town, 13 people died and Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville” thought the mayor fingers crossedwould come through for them. He didn’t of course and he won’t! He has the diction of a third grader, but they’re still crossing their fingers he’s gonna come through on that bridge re-building thing!!

housefly

Katherine Kersten has no wiggle room in criticizing anybody for anything in relation to politics or religion. Kersten’s conservative Christian views are flawed and those who share in her conservative Christian views are morally, ethically, politically and spiritually bankrupt. Kersten throws her Star-Tribune weight around to belittle and demean anything outside of the scope of her narrow dime-sized world. She’ll criticize gays, Muslims, academia, Democrats – anything that isn’t holding a Bible and carrying a crucifix and wearing a big “red Republican R brand on their chest.”

In exchange, the backdrop to Kersten’s stage is covered in a vile filth unlikeFruitFly 6 anything in American history. And yet, she continues to draw a paycheck! The Star Tribune finds her “valuable”, and I have a sneaky suspicion they’re keep this very stupid columnist on the payroll because so many of us love to hate her.

Found in an alley

alleywalkDoing the Lord’s work

Another man found doing the “Lord’s work” by hiring a prostitute and offering to pay for her services by writing a check. At seventy-four and obviously armed with a fresh bottle of Viagra, the President of the Christian Action League is arrested for solisiting the services of a prostitute.

Privette, 74, was charged with six counts of misdemeanor aiding and abetting prostitution by renting a hotel room and paying for sexual acts, according to State Bureau of Investigation Agent Kevin Canty. Tiffany Denise Summers, 32, of Salisbury, was charged with six counts of misdemeanor prostitution, Canty said.

Yes, it’s true! Another Republican discovered for his “strong American values” and his core belief that God defined marriage between one man and one prostitute wife.

For over three decades, Privette has been one of the best known and most outrageous spokesmen for “family values” and Christian extreme right politics in North Carolina. In the 1970s, he was serving as minister at the North Kannapolis Baptist Church when he joined the tide of evangelicals entering politics that included the Moral Majority and Christian Coalition. He served in the N.C. Legislature from 1984 to 1992, and has been a member of the board of commissioners in Cabarrus County since 1998.

My favorite comment in this piece is about half way down in the piece:

 

I noticed that his organization didn’t have this story up on their web site, so I sent them the link and a reminder that they neglected to include this important news about the wonderful work they’re doing for the lord.

Just want to help out where I can, ya know?

DailyKos beat up by Bill O’Reilly’s Army of the Idiotic

Bill O’Reilly, who enlightened all of his viewers on the horrors full of hate-speech that goes on at the DailyKos has finally won the battle. The writers at the DailyKos have throw in the white flag and have been begging and pleading for BillO’s mercy and everlasting benevolence.

Please, Bill O’Reilly, spare us from your savage and inexplicable rage. We can’t take any more of it. Being defended by Keith Olbermann… being roundly and sternly publicized by Stephen Colbert… it’s all too much. The extra traffic, the publicity, the footage of your narcissistic tantrums… the subsequent exposure of hate speech and death threats on your pay-to-post blog. How can any liberal website withstand such a well-planned assault?

It would appear that BillO can hang three gold stars around the name plate on his dressing room. It’s glaringly obviousBarbara Cubin those liberals at the DailyKos have been truly defeated.

Their plea for mercy finishes tragically by sayin:

So please, Bill, refrain from mentioning us on your programs. Please do not berate us on theradio, or on your television show, or in the loofah aisle of whatever store one purchases such things. What would be really, really too much to bear is if you tattooed the name of our website on your broad, pale forehead as reminder to everyone about how evil we are. Please, please don’t do that. Surely, somewhere in your heart, you still have within you the jagged remnants of mercy.

Stephen Colbert applauds BillO’s war on the DailyKos and compliments the Loofa King for a job well done.

Senator Vitter Inists on an improved image for the GOP

Shhhh
Hooker-lover, Senator David Vitter (R-LA) attended a power-lunch for prominent GOP’ers in Washington today. Just seven days after pleading forgiveness for admitting his love for the “Ladies of the Evening”, he got up again and addressed his colleagues.

He spoke bravely on the subject of the need to improve theMe GOP “image” and how they need to rebrand themselves as the “fiscally responsible party”. Rumors have it that there was a great deal of vomiting during the speech while others were mysteriously coughing into their fists and uttering a noise that resembled something like “b*sh*t”.

The Hypocracy of Blue People

Bush and DickHello and welcome to Fruit Fly News. My name is Frizzie McBee and tonight, we’ll be discussing Ralph Nader’s vile hatred towards Americans.

You may recall, environmentalist and Democrat-Hater Ralph Nader is the political party crasher of the century. Democrats have long despised Mr. Nader’s excuses to ruin their political hopefuls and routinely blame him for their losses. Mr. Nader meanwhile, criticizes the Democrats for what he criticizes a relationship far too cozy with Republican positions.

“You know the two parties are still converging — they don’t even debate the military budget anymore,” Nader said in a 30-minute interview. “I really think there needs to be more competition from outside the two parties.”

Democrats, furious with Nader’s nosey noise-box, blame the loss of the 2000 elections on Nader for splitting the party vote. In August 2006, DailyKos, a popular political website for liberals and progressives, launched the accusation that Ralph Nader was actually being paid by the Republican Party in Pennsylvania in a very heated race between US incumbent Senator Rick Santorum and Democratic hopeful Jim Webb. Ralph Nader’s Green Party candidate for the race, Carl Romanelli, was accused of taking money from Rick Santorum’s GOP party, and producing fake signatures to make sure his name was on the voter’s ballot in the very important election three months later.

In addition, new evidence shows that the GOP and Santorum have entirely funded Romanelli’s operation. With the exception of a $30 check written by Romanelli, himself, prominent Republican donors funneled $66,000 dollars through the Luzerne County Green Party, according to available FEC reports.

Avid fans of the DailyKos went insane with rage against Nader. Complaining that Nader’s party rarely, if ever, wins any elections anyway; but that his efforts are a direct attack upon the election process itself.

Field ReporterIn other news, anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan has her sights sent on running for Congress in 2008! For more on this exciting news, Brock Trentmore has the story. Brock?!

Yes Frizzie and thank you! Liberals and Progressives are very excited to see their favorite activist Cindy Sheehan re-emerge from a twenty-six day vacation full of energy and running a very powerful message against US Speaker of the House Nancy Pilosi.

Ms. Sheehan will be starting a pilgrimage in Atlanta, GA andCindy Sheehan walking all of the way to Washington DC where she hopes to meet with a few of Congress’ most influentional elected people and where she’ll make her promise known to the US Speaker of the House. Ms. Sheehan said in a letter published by the DailyKos:

I was going to announce on July 10th (my 50th birthday) before our Journey for Humanity that I would run against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) if she didn’t put impeachment back on the table before our tour reached DC on July 23rd.

Yes it’s true Frizzie! Popular Air America talk-jock Randi Rhodes put Ms. Sheehan on the radio where she gushed and oozed all over Ms. Sheehan’s anti-war resurrection. Ms. Rhodes played a song in honor of Ms. Sheehan and then the two giggled and snickered about Ms. Sheehan’s threat to run against Pilosi. Said Sheehan live on The Randi Rhodes Show:

…Well, it isn’t a problem for me to buy property in Nancy Pilosi’s district. I’ve sold Camp Casey, and so I have the name recognition and I have over 800,000 signatures of people who are against this war…”

Randi Rhodes, never shy about her hatred for Ralph Nader’s “anti-Democratic” political antics snickered and giggled with Ms. Sheehan. When Sheehan re-iterated her threat to run against the Speaker of the House if Ms Pilosi did not meet her demands, Rhodes gushed:

…Well, I wish I could be there with you. I truly do. I love you. I wish you the best.”

The DailyKos carried Ms. Sheehan’s entire political threat in which she encourages others to follow in her footsteps by running against Democrats and Republicans who have the means.

I hope this challenges other people who desire healthy political change and not temporary band-aids to replace other Democrats and Republicans who do not conform to the beatitudes of peace, sustainability and the rule of law for everybody, not just poor, or marginalized persons.

Back to you, Frizzie!

Laura Bush SmokesThank you Brock. That’s very informative. Ms. Sheehan believes that she can accomplish much more as a freshman Congresswoman than career politician and current US Speaker of the House Nancy Pilosi has accomplished this far. Ms. Sheehan, tired and exhausted just a month ago, said she wanted to go home, be with her family and put her life together. Instead, Ms. Sheehan has decided that ripping up another Democrat is a far more intelligent move than running against a Republican or, even better; stumping for Democratic votes!

As you can plainly see, those who write for and read the DailyKos can be just as much of a bunch of political hypocrits as the Ralph Naders and the Joe Liebermann’s that they vehemently despise.Me

My name is Frizzie McBee and this has been another issue of Fruit Fly news. Good night, and Goddess Bless.

The Sinking Island

Walking Away from New Orleans:
The Army Corps of Engineers is trying to sneak out the back door on the city of New Orleans, one of the oldest cities in North America. I’m trying to remember, what exactly our Decider in Chief said about this city. Do you remember? I don’t seem to recall… Oh yes, now I remember! It was SeptJax Square 15th, 2005:

And tonight I also offer this pledge of the American people: Throughout the area hit by the hurricane, we will do what it takes. We will stay as long as it takes to help citizens rebuild their communities and their lives.

Meanwhile, while I still haven’t heard where the DNC is holding their 2008 Presidential Primaries, I’m still hoping they decide on New Orleans. (By the way…weren’t they supposed to announce their plans this month?!) Lots of folks are pining away hoping it’ll be New York or Denver. I disagree; I think it should be New Orleans. Face it, New Yorkers had to put up with the GOP in 2004’s election, and Denver…Well, they hate their gay and lesbian people and yet they love their crack-pipe homosexual ministers. So, screw those guys. My pick; New Orleans, and then New York and then who cares where they have it?

Thieves, Sexual Predators, Hypocrits (a.k.a. Evangelical Chiristians)

Colorado hasn’t had so much attention in the past three months. It’s a proven fact: You can get picked up and laid by a homosexual faster in an Evangelical Church than you can at a gay bar in Denver. I don’t even think you need to wear Prada…just show up with your Bible. You can use it as a cushion when your Fundie-friend needs something between his head and the bathroom wall. (Unless you’re “the catcher” of course.)

PredatorNot that I’m counting notches on my axe handle; but I think we’re up to 3 gay Fundies and 1 gay Whore out there in Colorado. In comparison, The White House still has the 1 gay Whore, but they have far more gay Fundies than Denver does. It’s no wonder the Konservative Kristian Koaltion wants to make gay marriage illegal on the US Constituteion. They think it’s better to procreate with their wives and keep their whores on the side whenever convenient. The very idea of marrying your Whore is completely out of the question!

So far, the score-board looks like this:

1.) Ted Haggard of course.

2.) Then it was Reverend Paul Barns, Grace Chapel

3.) And now it’s back to the New Life Church, and Christopher Beard. (Yes folks…that’s his last name: “Beard”.)

The Hunt for Terry Rakolta

Terry Rakolta was a woman from Detroit, Mich who carried the torch to try to ban Fox’s ‘Married With Children” because of an episode that involved two heterosexual male characters that were trapped in a store overnight in a shopping mall where they encountered:

“…There was a homosexual, a man in stockings and a woman who took off her bra (see the picture of topless Playboy Miss June 1985 Devin Velasquez playing “Vicki” at the bottom).”

In the early 90’s Ms. Rakotla went into an “insane-crazy rage” and wrote letters to the advertisers and demanded that they “Stop and Dicease” any relationship with Fox Television. It turned out to be a two-edged sword: Fox Television moved the series up a half hour per her request, and the television show became even more popular! Meanwhile, Fox Television became America’s first “media whore”.
JokerNow it’s the conservative Christians who are publishing a brand-new video game available just in time for Christmas. It’s a game related to the “Rapture” were Christ comes back and rescues all of His beleivers. The game however, allows the players to shoot non-beleivers, Jews, Muslims and every social sub-group that Christians hate the most. (Hint: Think “cyber Hate-crimes”.) Leave it to those conservatives: If they don’t like something on their television, they’ll find a way to make something worse to put up there.

Time Magazine Continues to Shill Hoping to Find Readers
Time decided to make “you” the “Time Person of the Year”. Desperate to keep their conservative rag on the shelves, Time’s marketing department put a piece of refletive tin foil on the cover hoping they can find readers that are more vain and narcissistic than their own selves.Time is Me

Kos agrees with me the best in all of the hoop-la. Time’s suffering their own journalists and stories and their own fainting fight to attract “new customers” [liberals, young voters, and the entire Middle Class] threw “YOU” under the bus in order to make a nickle. The grin is with Kos’ note about the Chrysler ad.

That’s a pretty big Ooops.

Meanwhile, I believe the over all marketing campaign was designed to be “flattering”. It’s when the Republican Party continues to implode, and Time/Warner is desperate to find anybody interested in who the hell cares. My hint to Time: “Get around to being at least a little bit moderate and see how far it moves you.”
Southern Methodist University Says “NO!” to a GW Bush Presidential Library

SMU, located in Dallas and Mrs Bush’s alma mater, is protesting the Bush Family Empire’s attempts to give them a George W Bush Library. Apparently, not interested in building a library just to hold thousands of copies of “My Pet Goat”, SMU slammed back at the Family Empire by saying:

We count ourselves among those who would regret to see SMU enshrine attitudes and actions widely deemed as ethically egregious: degradation of habeas corpus, outright denial of global warming, flagrant disregard for international treaties, alienation of long-term U.S. allies, environmental predation, shameful disrespect for gay persons and their rights, a pre-emptive war based on false and misleading premises, and a host of other erosions of respect for the global human community and for this good Earth on which our flourishing depends.

The letter concludes, “[T]hese violations are antithetical to the teaching, scholarship, and ethical thinking that best represents Southern Methodist University.”

birdThe only way to say “No, Thank you” any more politely is to wear a garlic necklace and flip them the bird!

Does anybody remember the grand opening of the Clinton Library? Everybody I’ve met who’ve been to the Clinton Library swoons over it. “It’s beautiful!”, or “It was wonderful!”, or something similar. The conservatives snickered and mocked it, thinking everybody would agree with them that the library would be dopey and lame.

The George W Bush Library, I’ll predict, will be the worst presidential library and attended less than the Nixon Library out in Yorba Linda, CA.

Colin Powell Admited to Reading a Script when He Gave the Counterfeited Materials to the UN Security Council that Lead Up To The War

An independant reporter caught Colin Powel outside of the CBS studios a got the former Secretary a little bit “hot under the collar”. In the exchange, Colin Powell not only admitted that he was simply following along with what the script said, but that he was nothing but a useless meat-puppet. Now there’s a legacy to be proud of, huh?

In his defense, Colin Powell bailed on the Bush Administration as fast as he could – while being “professional” about it.

If you want to simply cut to the chase and check out the video, click here.

Vice President Dick “Shooter” Cheney Will Testify
Aww, don’t tell me the Bush Royal Family will have to stoop so low as to testify in behalf of “the Palace Help”! Say it isn’t so!!

Poor Dick. Here is his butler, Scooter, who’s now facing all kinds of charges and Scooter throws Shooter under the bus! It’s just difficult finding good “help” these days isn’t it?

He’s already been told to fess up the Visitation Logs, which can’t be flattering information on his behalf. Because now he’s appealing that decision! Perhaps someone should remind the Vice President (and the President as well) that both of these two serve at the Will Of The People and not their own.

Meanwhile, Shooter’s boss…

Boosh’s Polls Falling Even Farther With the War on Terror and The Bush-Iraqi War

Yes it’s true. Bush’s newest poll numbers out of CNN say that he’s dropped down to 28%. 70% disapprove of Bush’s handling of this dibacle. With my handy 8-function Casio; I believe that will make it less than One Third of the American people like this idiot!!

There’s even a short video! Honey!! Do We Have Any Microwaveable Popcorn?!! Bush’s polls are nose-diving worse than a kamikazi pilot!!

Gays Steal Rainbow Colors; Christians To Steal It Back

Christians, angry that gays and lesbians exist, demand that they stop using the rainbow colors to spread perversion and depravity. Hence, “Take Back Our Rainbow Inc.” has begun to sell refrigerator magnets, bumper stickers and angrily insist that gay’s stop using it. There’s even a petition they’ve put up hoping to get everybody to sign it and gays and lesbians will begin to be intimidated, and start throwing their rainbow keychains, doggie coats and scarves and everything else that’s gay, into the trash and crawl into a hole and go away.

To quote:

Since it’s first usage in 1978, the symbol of the rainbow has been gradually taken away from the general populace and reserved for the use of the gay community. A natural phenomena and generally beautiful symbol should not be reserved for use in just the homosexual community, but be available for use without prejudice for the whole of society.

I don’t think anybody told these Loosers that the GLBT Rainbow flag isn’t about “gays” per se. The Rainbow Flag is a symbol of diversity, which means we’ll have to put up with these idiots among us. When will these nut-jobs begin stealing Jesse Jackson’s rainbow and complain about the “horrors of diversity”?

Rainbow Push Coalition

Jackson’s group isn’t complaining about the GLBT rainbow flag, what’s the problem with these people? Less I sound pedantic, the GLBT rainbow flag’s colors represents “diverse” things like: GLBT Flag

Red: Life
Orange: Healing

Yellow: Sun

Green: Nature

Blue: Serenity

Lavender (Purple): Spirit

They whine that the rainbow is a “Holy Symbol”, just as their “fish” symbol is allegedly “holy”. They even warn the Hateful Faithful Christians that GLBT’s very well might steal their Holy Fish symbol too.

“We are a company that believes it is time to take a stand for our beliefs and we are asking all Christians to do the same,” the business’s website reads. “Let’s all stand up and take our rainbow back. Those who choose to pervert this holy symbol may have well taken the cross or the Christian Fish (symbol). They may soon do this because we are doing nothing to stop the use of our symbols for perversion.”

Christians? Worried about “holy symbols”? Are these “holy symbols” just like the hundreds of thousands of “holy symbols” that these Christians desecrated belonging to Native Americans? …Just wondering, you know.

The Fruit Fly