Massachusetts Elects Nude Porn-Star!!

Oh wait! That was the “Family Values Crowd” that was talking about that… I forgot!!

Hooray for the liberals in Massachusetts!! They’ve elected their first porn-star!!

Ann Coulter: She’ll Lie By Omission and Admission At The Same Time

Poor pathetic little Ann.  That Adams Apple just bobs up and down while she lies her little fanny off, all for the American people to see.

When she prattles on along with that condescending,  snotty tone of hers, why do people find that appealing? She’s missing her tennis racket, her white Nike visor a fuzzy green ball and her BFF’s Tiffany and Amber!

See Ann Lie.

Lie Ann, Lie!

Senator David Vitter (R-LA) was a phlanderer and he wasn’t punished.  Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) was caught and plead guilty for being a philanderer and he’s still in office.

She blames Barney Frank for being a philanderer and that’s another lie!  Barney Frank’s boyfriend was caught running a prostitution ring, not Barney Frank!

Lie Ann, Lie!

h/t Joe.My.God.

Ah…Another Republican caught with a prostitute

Nice.  Hannity hanging with his whores…

Oooo!! Look!  Here’s a picture of Sean Hannity with a prostitute and I think he’s got an erection!

<sigh> yeah, sadly – it doesn’t take an awful lot of effort to cover up poor Sean’s tallywacker.  He’s hung like a cashew!

You can see all of these XXX-rated photos by running off to the Bunny Ranch to see their “family photos” of other Republican perverts who frequent the establishment to review their, ehem, “Strong American family values”!

His Wiki says he’s married to a “woman” named Jill Rhodes.  No argument there.  I mean; there’s not a lot of Republicans these days who seem to worry about Herpes, HIV and clamidia. Have you seen Larry Craig’s wife talking about sexually trasmitted diseases lately?  David Vitter’s wife?!?  Exactly what I’m talking about.  Perhaps that’s what’s really going on: These Republicans are marrying the whores that they frequent in brothels throughout the country  and the concern over STD’s is simply irrelevant!

In Hannity’s case, the train has left “Sandpaper Sally’s Ally” and it’s apparently pulled into “Pineapple Peter Station”!

Found under a wine bottle

Redneck Hospitality

CHICAGO—The White House has turned down a request from the family of President-elect Barack Obama to move into Blair House in early January so that his daughters can start school on Jan. 5.

The Obamas were told that Blair House, where incoming presidents usually stay in the five days before Inauguration Day, is booked in early January, a spokesperson to the Obama transition said. “We explored the idea so that the girls could start school on schedule,’ the spokesperson said. “But, there were previously scheduled events and guests that couldn’t be displaced.”

It remained unclear who on Bushes guest list outranked the incoming President.

I’m going to guess who’s going to be “occupying” the Blair House: The Bush Twins, that’s who. Jenna and Barbara will be pulling off their final and last week-long bender complete with bathtubs converted into giant sized bongs, kitchen hand beaters exchanged with vibrating dildos and the largest pot garden within a 90-miles growing in the Master Bedroom… complete with automated irrigation.

But that’s only a guess.

Ineptitude

Private information at bargain prices. It was a high-tech flub at the McCain-Palin campaign headquarters in Arlington when Fox 5’s Investigative Reporter Tisha Thompson bought a Blackberry device containing confidential campaign information. […]

The hottest item? Blackberry phones at $20 a piece. There were only 10 left. All of the batteries had died. There were no chargers for sale. But people were snatching them up. So, we bought a couple.

And ended up with a lot more than we bargained for.

When we charged them up in the newsroom, we found one of the $20 Blackberry phones contained more than 50 phone numbers for people connected with the McCain-Palin campaign, as well as hundreds of emails from early September until a few days after election night.

Your Daddy drinks too much because you laugh at the GOP.

Hope

The state canvassing board just voted unanimously that absentee ballots that were initially rejected because of clerical errors — and the current estimate from the hearing is that there could be nearly 1,600 of them, based on some extrapolation — should be counted, probably the single biggest issue that the Franken campaign has been hammering ever since this recount began, and which really seemed up in the air going into this hearing.

Crossing my fingers, anticipating Minnesota’s newest Junior Senator might very well be Stewart Smalley always makes me leak a tiny bit of pee in my underpants.

Hypocracy

Angered by the Republican Senate (a.k.a. “Darth Vader’s golfing buddies”), Chris Dodd (D-CT) points out:

• Worker salaries make up a tiny fraction of the financial challenge facing the automakers.
• The UAW had already agreed to achieve “compatibility and comparability” by March—a major concession.
• We still have the opportunity to fix this and the obligation to try.
• It is “incredible” that the one demand put above all others by Republicans during this negotiation is that workers, who have already been hurt badly by the declining economy, should take another hit.

Yes… As we all know: Republicans are especially patriotic compared to their liberal, labor union and minority middle-class American worker. Watch the Chris Dodd video here.

Leadership

Morgan Johnson, president of the UAW, told General Motors auto workers in Shreveport, LA last Friday:

“I don’t know what Sen. Vitter has against GM or the United Auto Workers or the entire domestic auto industry; whatever it is, whatever he thinks we’ve done, it’s time for him to forgive us, just like Sen. Vitter has asked the citizens of Louisiana to forgive him, ” said Johnson, president of Local 2166. Otherwise, Johnson said of Vitter, it would appear, “He’d rather pay a prostitute than pay auto workers.”

If there’s anybody out there who believes the Republican Party cares anything about the middle class, I have a really nice bridge to sell you cheap. It’s in Brooklyn, NY and it’s purple with pretty red and yellow flowers painted all over it. Seriously! If you’d like to buy it…I can arrange it!

Can anybody tell me – Did Senator David Vitter give his wife Wendy clymidia? Or has that all been cleared up?

The Second American Civil War

Joe Babiasz of Huntington Woods, Mich., launched a Web site, www.boycottalabamanow.com, recently to protest Shelby’s efforts to prevent Congress from passing a package of loans to the U.S. auto industry.

On his Web site, the General Motors retiree takes issue with [Senator Richard] Shelby’s [R-AL] position and claims Shelby’s support of federal grants for Alabama makes the senator a hypocrite. Specifically, the Web site questions grants for Alabama’s fishing industry.

If Big Auto does collapse, the Republican Party can be given credit to damaging the United States far beyond Osama bin Laden’s wildest dreams. If you don’t believe me, wind-up your stress meter by checking this piece out and find out for yourself.

Even so, statistics from the Center for Automotive Research in Ann Arbor show 239,000 people work in the U.S. for GM, Chrysler and Ford Motor Co. The center, which does research for the auto companies, estimates total job losses would reach 2.5 million if GM failed and 3.5 million if all three auto companies went out of business in 2009.

Predictions are coming through on the GOP throwing Michigan families under the bus just weeks for Christmas will guarantee that Michigan won’t vote Republican for at least one generation of voters. I predict at least three generations.

Pastor Ted Haggard Explains His Gayness: “We Blew It”!

Yes kiddies…! Pastor Ted Haggard’s back again!! Only this time, he’s front and center to explain why his “gay life” was kept in The Closet for all of these years: He was sexually abused as a child.

That’s it! We can all go home now! Everything is A-OK! Nothing to see here! Move on along!! Thanks for your concern! Thanks for stopping!!

Once again we have a conservative Republican, horribly addicted to Meth, addicted to illicit sexual activity with a prostitute and addicted to adult gay porn — Blame all of it on someone else.

I’ve always thought that the first step in any addiction is for the person to fully confront that they have the disease and deal with it one day at a time. I could prattle on all of the remaining eleven steps of sobriety but it’s that first one I’ve always been told what was the most important.

Pastor Ted Haggard, leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, admitted to having a long-term sexual affair with 49-year old male prostitute Mike Jones in Denver, CO. Jones, right before the 2006 elections, dropped the bomb-shell of the century that shattered the NAE, an organization that included over 47,000 churches and over 30 million members nationwide. Jones admitted to providing meth during the weekend-long sexual adventures where they remained perpetually stoned and watched gay porn.

On November 4th, just weeks after the bombshell of a story exploded, the NAE demanded Haggard’s resignation while other prominent homophobic religious zealots scrambled for safety. Uber-Hate Monger, James B. Dobson, president of Focus on the Family, came out swinging with this:

“The possibility that an illicit relationship has occurred is alarming to us and to millions of others,” Dobson said.

“He will continue to be my friend, even if the worst allegations prove accurate,” he continued. “Nevertheless, sexual sin, whether homosexual or heterosexual, has serious consequences.”

While Tony Perkins, chair of the uber-Hate Group “The Family Research Council” came out with:

“In his position as a leader of the evangelical community, this personal tragedy has public ramifications, so we urge that a full accounting of the facts be swift and complete.”

One year later, Mike Jones went on a radio station in Las Vegas and noted that US Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) was also one of his regular clients.

Fast forward another year and 1 week later, and Pastor Ted is blaming an employee of his father’s business for his bizarre attraction towards 49 year old male prostitutes:

Haggard said one of his father’s employees “had a sexual experience with me” when Haggard was 7, according to audio recordings of the sermons posted on the ABC News Web site.

Haggard said he later became “a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things.

“But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade started to rage in my mind and in my heart,” he said.

So, it was some other sexual pervert that made you gay, is that right Pastor Ted?! Now I see how easy it would be to be finally cured! Once I’m “cured”, does that mean I’ll join a construction crew and whistle lewdly at blond chicks with big racks? You mean, all I have to do is kick out a sketchy story that blames some obscure male figure in my childhood and everything will be okay?

WOW!

To think that something that simple and the world would be plagued with millions of little Junior Fruit Flies!

Pastor Ted then went on to blame everybody else for failing to capitalize on the opportunity to use the event to proseltyze the Word of God through mainstream media.

Haggard said church leaders missed an opportunity to use his scandal to “communicate the gospel worldwide through secular media.”

“We consistently blow it when those opportunities arise”, he said.

“A congressman in trouble, that’s the time. A family member gets himself in horrible trouble, that’s the time. A preacher gets himself in awful trouble, that’s the time,” he said, his voice rising to a near-shout.

Extra Homework Credit: Watch the ABC News Exclusive with Pastor Ted’s Story by clicking here.

Extra-Extra Homework Credit: Someone please tell me that Mrs. Ted Haggard has taken an AIDS test. That goes for all of these Republican wives for God’s Sakes! Larry Craig’s wife Suzanne needs an AIDS test, David Vitter’s (R-LA) wife Wendy needs an AIDS test..! These Republican wives are nothing but depositories of the AIDS virus and nobody seems to be interested in noting the obvious. It would behoove Laura Bush herself get an AIDS test too… Let’s not forget that other Closet Queen, Jeff Gannon who was living in the White House for two years…

Oh dear… I’m preaching to the choir now..! What have I worked myself up to..??! Worrying about Republican wives? Ted Haggard?! Why should I care about these people?!?!

There isn’t a single one of them that gave a flying-fuck about any gay man who died of the AIDS virus from 1978-2008.

Why should I care about any of them?

Notes on Katherine Kersten’s Stool Samples

Please tell me, why are Republicans condemn all of society to live in perpetual and eternal fear? If you drink, you’re going to Hell (unless you’re a Baptist minister and love gospel music). If you fornicate, you’re going to Hell (unless you’re a Republican and your wife looks stunning in a leopard print dress). If you’re gay, you’re definitely going to Hell (because God really hates the Queers for some reason…I don’t know). No matter what your crime against “The Holiest of Holy” might be, shouldn’t “fear mongering” be up there on that list too? At least as a minor crime like “white lies” and “cheating on your diet”?

In today’s Strib, Katherine Kersten writes a piece entitled: “California ruling hijacks middle ground on marriage” by which she laments all of the fear and loathing one could muster on the recent news out of the California State Supreme Court on same-sex marriage. (Be careful with that last link there; it’s a PDF and it’s a whopper of a file! It’s jammed packed with extra-fear, too! So be careful!)

Ms. Kersten opens her first paragraph with:

The debate over same-sex marriage has roiled for over a decade. On one side are people who believe that marriage is properly limited to one man and one woman. On the other are those who argue that lack of access to marriage is unfair to gay couples, because it deprives them of benefits that flow from the marriage certificate, such as survivor rights, hospital visitation and insurance coverage.

Did you see how she’s set the tone for her entire piece? If there’s anything Kersten loves more than Jesus and her Bible; it’s “Spin”, “Jargon” and “Fear”. You think it’s a coincidence that Noah had three sons? Strange, you might think, that King Nebuchadnezzar threw only “Three Young Men” into the Fiery Furnace? Odd that it’s “God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Scary One”? Everything Ms. Kiersten writes falls under her own favorite categories she calls “Her Holy Trinity” of “Spin”, “Jargon”and “Fear”.

Everything!

“Properly” is hetero, while the “homo” side of her argument a tone of disparaging, whining and complaining. It’s all code! But we’ll get to that a little later.

I’ve often wondered how the Star Tribune came to ask Ms. Kersten write for them? I would suspect, the Strib’s Editorial staff asked her to submit samples of her writing while considering her. And so I’ve concluded that, Ms. Kersten must have submitted a stool sample like this piece here for consideration. Since the Strib didn’t have anybody else on staff that used their own stool samples to communicate their views on the world, they decided to run with it and asked her “properly” for her two forms of ID as her proof of US Citizenship and her Social Security number. …And then probably gave her a small advance on her next check. But that’s only a guess.

A good friend of mine says that my blogging is sometimes “Obtuse“. Since I have no idea what that word means, I decided it probably had something to do with one of the missing colors in my box of Crayons. I suppose I should be happy that he didn’t say my writing was “ochre”, “puce” or “burnt sienna”. So if I’m being a little too “obtuse” with that stool sample analogy, I apologize in advance. Just be grateful I don’t get really upset with Ms. Kersten’s writing and go a little “goldenrod”.  Which I’ve been known to do from time and again…

Ms. Kersten continues, painfully I might add:

But last week, this middle ground disappeared — courtesy of the California Supreme Court. In ruling California’s marriage laws unconstitutional, the court made clear that, far from preserving traditional marriage, domestic partnerships are actually likely to hasten its demise.

She claims that her fellow conservative (Republicans) in California attempted to come “half-way” with their gay and lesbian residents by approving a one-man/one-woman definition of marriage in 2000 by an election of 61.5% of the vote. (Nice to see they’ve over-exerted themselves in having to go vote on such a decision in the first place, let alone dragging themselves to make such a huge “compromise” with their fellow citizenry.) Working up a strain producing this recent stool sample of hers, Ms. Kersten aptly points out that in 1999 California passed their own Domestic Partnership Act. Something she her self would pull her hair out and scream the horrors if such an act or any resemblance of such an act were to passed here in Minnesota. So don’t look for any “compromising positions” from Katherin Kersten any time soon.

Kersten claims that California reached that “middle ground” by giving gay and lesbian couples “some rights”, and they should have been happy with that.
Ms. Kersten immediately changes her tone by patronizing the state’s Supreme Court:

The court put no stock in the state’s argument that same-sex and opposite-sex couples already have equivalent rights under California law. In fact, the majority found that the Legislature’s decision to treat gay relationships as worthy of marriage-like benefits actually bolstered plaintiffs’ argument that domestic partnerships are discriminatory. Since the Legislature has treated same-sex and opposite-sex couples equally, said the court, withholding the marriage label from gays is a “mark of second-class citizenship.”

Those dumb judges! If this were true, then why on earth and all things un-Holy, would the California Supreme Court even bother with this case?

Let’s watch Kersten’s stool sample turn into fear. Be on the lookout for her “Holy Three” – I’ll try to help you as you go along:

Minnesotans can draw two lessons from the California decision. First, it vindicates the approach taken by the proposed Minnesota marriage amendment, which the Minnesota House of Representatives passed in 2006 but the DFL-controlled Senate killed by keeping it bottled up in committee. The amendment would have prohibited both same-sex marriage and civil unions. Opponents sometimes slammed this dual prohibition as mean-spirited, but the California decision now reveals it to be far-sighted.

Second, the California decision vindicates Minnesotans who argue that a constitutional amendment is the only way to safeguard traditional marriage. During the 2006 debate, then-Senate Majority Leader Dean Johnson and OutFront Minnesota both maintained that the amendment was unnecessary, because our state already has a “defense of marriage” act and because the Minnesota Supreme Court rejected same-sex marriage in a 1971 case.

Her next paragraph is her “bombshell”. Her piece de resistance…

But when it tossed out California’s one-man/one-woman voter initiative — which the state’s Legislature cannot overturn on its own — the California majority showed how far arrogant, activist courts will go in disregarding the will of the people.

“Activist Courts”?! “Activist Courts?!” Why…Why…If I didn’t know better, I’d say that was more “code”!!! Ohh… I’m starting to get a little goldenrod right now!!

Let’s do a quick head count of those damned judges that are sitting on that “Activist Court”, shall we?  …Lessee…

Ronald M. George – appointed in 1991 by Governor Pete Wilson, a Republican

Marvin R. Baxter – appointed by Governor George Deukmejian, a Republican

Ming W. Chin – appointed by Governor Pete Wilson, a Republican
Carol A. Corrigan – appointed by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Republican

Joyce L. Kennard – appointed by Governor George Deukmejian, a Republican

Carlos R. Moreno – appointed by Governor Gray Davis, a Democrat

and finally…
Kathryn Mickle Werdegar– who was appointed by Governor Pete Wilson, whom we already know… was a Republican.

Where, pray tell… does Katherin Kersten get off calling the California Supreme Court a bunch of activists?! The entire bench is filled with Republicans!!!

Katherine finishes her stool sample with this tidbit:

Anyone who has followed the abortion debate knows what happens when a court cuts out the middle ground, as the U.S. Supreme Court did on abortion 35 years ago in Roe vs. Wade. Toxic social division is inevitable when courts usurp the people’s rights.

Shall I help you out with her Holy Trinity in that paragraph, or are you good to go now? Hint, it’s the first three words in her last sentence. But I’m guessing you already knew that.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!