MRE: MICHELE BACHMAN DESTROYS THE GOP!!!

Poor Michele… She just can’t feel Jesus’ love inside the GOP anymore. After running her mouth off on Hardball with Chris Matthews saying she thought Obama had “anti-American sentiments” and then called for the liberal media to investigate members of Congress for suspicions of “anti-American sentiments”, she’s seemed to have discovered “anti-Bachmann sentiments” coming out of the leadership of her own Republican Party.

First up: the NRCC. Headed by Tom Cole (R-OK CD#4). The National Republican Congressional Committee has apparently decided that Michele Bachmann has become such a liability that they’ve cut off all advertising funds for her campaign.

Ouch! It’s pretty well decided: Michele Bachmann’s hate-mongering mouth is not a course of action that the GOP Leadership wants to invest into…

Compare and Contrast: Fox News dumps Michelle Malkin for being a crazy hate-monger – the NRCC dumps Michele Bachmann for being the exact.same.thing.

From Politico:

The NRCC had reserved time on behalf of Bachmann in early October, but the money had yet to flow to her district. She was not among the beneficiaries of a rush of new independent expenditures the committee made in the past two days.

Pitchforks and the Torches have gathered in downtown Republicanville and they are none too pleased. In a more accurate word-choice: “They’re mad as Hell and they’re not going to take it anymore!!

Conservative Republican (The Pitchfork Family) Amanda Carpenter over at Townhall whined about the situation. Ms. Carpenter wrote with her Crying Towel nearby:

So what does the NRCC do when the going gets tough for Bachmann? They get going. Far, far away from her.

Apparently, since the NRCC didn’t run up and give bat-shit-crazy Michele Bachmann a giant squeezy-hug and then shove a giant sunflower into her machine-gun mouth… Ms Carpenter feels “left out”. Somebody must have decided that losing General Colin Powell to the Democrats was a bigger loss than losing Michele “I Love GWB” Bachmann and finally… Dumped her!

Editor-in-Chief Erik Erikson, a proud member of the Torch Family, whipped out the big stick from out of his ass and called Tom Cole (R-OK) a douchebag!

Let’s just call Tom Cole (R-OK), the head of the NRCC, what he is: a douchebag.

Erickson seems to be a wee upset, but manages to continue..:

Now, in the height of all douchebaggery, he has pulled all funding from Michelle Bachmann’s very winnable race in Minnesota, in which she is presently leading, though not by a great deal.

Why? Because Bachmann had the nerve to point out Obama pals around with anti-American domestic terrorists and other unsavory characters, i.e. she’s echoed Sarah Palin.

…Just a wee-bit pissed off? Earth To Erickson! Michele Bachmann spells her name with only one “L”…Not Two!! Earth to Erickson… Hello?!? Hello?!?!? Oh crap… Houston1 We’ve lost contact with Erickk Erickkson!!

And then… Erickson whips out his own Crying Towel:

But that’s okay. Apparently we have Republicans to spare.

Sarcasm! I like it!! Pouting?! Hrmm… Not so much.

The folks at Redstate run back to Update the original by clarifying to their guppy-headed faithful on why they’re so upset: They’re mad at Tom Cole for pulling the Bachmann support-ads!!

For perspective, Tom Cole has been sending money to Don Young in Alaska. So attacking the Democrats is unacceptable to Tom Cole, but taint and corruption is perfectly fine.

You still upset I called him a douchebag?

For those who are unaware of what he’s blabbering about, I’ll try to explain…

Alaskan Congresscreature Don Young is under investigation for earmarking $10million dollars to Florida to build/improve a road for one of his major campaign contributers. It’s a nasty story…read it here, here, and here.

Placed into context: (Republican) Redstate Editor-in-Chief, Erik Erickson is complaining that Tom Cole (R-OK), Chair of the National Republican Congressional Committee, will support (Heterosexual) Alaskan Congresscreature Don Young…but he won’t support Minnesota Congresscreature Michele Bachmann because she’s crazier than cow-snot on a barbed-wire fence. And, since watch-dog group CREW (Citizens for Responsibility for Ethics in Washington) has declared Don Young their MOST CORRUPT member in Washington, then it’s obvious — Tom Cole (R-OK) is a douchebag.

Get it?! The Pitchforks and the Torches within Republicanville are demanding the heads of their own Mayors, Dukes and Grand Wizards for doing what they should have done two years ago: They DUMPED BACHMANN!

Ugh!! In the immortal words of the Wicked Witch of the West as she melted away…What a world…what a world….

Minnesota local-yokel Republican, Andy Aplikowski (another Pitchfork) has his Crying Towel front-and-center.

Andy weeps:

I am just absolutely amazed at how far NBC is willing to go to cover up for their hack journalists like Chris Matthews.

Like Joe the Plumber, now Michele Bachmann has been more vetted by the mainstream media than Barrack Obama.

And seriously, they dug up Nick Coleman for this one?
I certainly hope the Republican Party of Minnesota is going to get involved now. Pawlenty threw Bachmann under the bus yesterday and I haven’t heard a single peep from Ron Carey. Let’s not forget that Carey is a constituent of Bachmann’s.

The full scale media attack to destroy Bachmann and twist her words is unreprehensible.

Awww… tsk tsk tsk… Poor Andy… He’s got an Idiot in Congressional Representation, and now that the National Republican Congressional Campaign has dumped her, he’s just going full-tilt with a wide-range on allegations:

  • Chris Mattews is an “NBC Hack”?!
  • NBC is “covering-up” for Matthews?!

Excuse me?!

Dear Andy Apilowski:

Chris Matthews is a “hack”?!

Are you serious?! …Or are you really that “new”?!

Seriously. I recall Chris Matthews booty-smooches GOP Crooks like Tom Delay (R-TX Jail Time) while yucking it up while off the air!!

Are you really that New?!?! Matthews is a “hack” because your Bachmann is that stupid and the GOP is now finding that out?!?”

Mr. Apilowski — Chris Matthews has been your best friend in Media – perhaps you’re the Hack-Job here and Michele Bachmann is the Wack-Job over there in DC!

Sincerely,

Fruit F. Fly

Why can’t these Republicans taken responsibility for themselves?! It’s unbelievable!!

Okay all you cry-babies out there… Let’s let the “Mighty Fruit Fly” resolve the dispute for you. Let’s run over to the original transcript and read verbatim what Congresscreature Michele Bachmann said…Exactly

Transcript from the Federal News Service

MATTHEWS: So this is a character issue. You believe that Barack Obama may — you’re suspicious because of this relationship — may have anti-American views. Otherwise it’s probably irrelevant to this discussion.

REP. BACHMANN: Absolutely.

MR. MATTHEWS: So you believe it brings into —

REP. BACHMANN: I absolutely —

MR. MATTHEWS: So you believe that Barack Obama may have anti- American views.

REP. BACHMANN: Absolutely. I’m very concerned that he may have anti-American views. That’s what the American people are concerned about. That’s why they want to know what his answers are. That’s why Joe the plumber has figured so highly in the last few days —

Anything in there that appears like it was as cover-up?! Mr. Apilowski!?! Are you paying attention?!? Did your crazy Congresscreature say those words or did she not?!?!

And about the leaders in Congress? Bachmann says:

MR. MATTHEWS: What about people like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, the liberals you were mentioning a moment ago? Where would you put them? Would you consider them anti-American as well?

REP. BACHMANN: I would consider them to have —

MR. MATTHEWS: Are they anti-American?

REP. BACHMANN: — far leftist views. I’m not going to say that they’re anti-American or pro-American.

MR. MATTHEWS: The speaker of the House is —

REP. BACHMANN: I will say the speaker —

So – Nancy Pilosi! Bachmann’s apparently not too sure about Senate Majority Leader Harry Ried… But Speaker of the House, Nancy Pilosi – she’s definitely got some of that “anti-American sentiments” in her. (I’m guessing it’s because Nancy PIlosi’s district is in that “Gay Area” known as San Francisco?!)

And what about the rest of the members of Congress?!

MR. MATTHEWS: Well, he’s a United States senator from Illinois. He’s one of the people you suspect as being anti-American. How many people in the Congress of the United States do you think are anti- American? You’ve already suspected Barack Obama. Is he alone, or are there others? How many do you suspect of your colleagues as being anti-American?

REP. BACHMANN: What I would say — what I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think people would love to see an expose like that.

She’s a crazy person, you Goofs!!!

Michele Bachmann is nuttier than standing on Cashew Corner in Walnut Grove chewin’ on a Salted Nut Roll!

She’s the Acorn…with extra corn!!

Sheeshe!!

I have a question:

Why does Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin’s husband Todd Palin get a free-pass on this subject of “Anti-American Sentiments”?!

Alaska’s First Dude belonged to a secessionist movement up there in Wasilla called the “Alaska Independence Party”. Todd Palin would be thrilled to personally rip a star off the American flag at any opportunity by declaring Alaska separate from the United States. And yet; It’s the liberals in congress who are publicly accused on MSNBC with (Pitchfork) Chris Matthews by Minnesota’s Congresscreature Michele Bachmann, but Secessionists who hate America are ignored without regard

The Republican Vice Presidential Candidate applauds those who’ll happily denounce their citizenry of the United States – And that’s ignored. But, being a liberal from San Francisco will get you accused publicly on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews.

Stay tuned for more on this horrifying story!!! Coming up soon: MIchele Bachmann hate’s Jesus and His Children by supporting Anti-Christian Petters’ fund-raiser Frank Vennes!!!

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville”

Rita SkeeterA few years ago, Minneapolis Star-Tribune hired a “conservative” voice for the paper – what they ended up with was a dolt. Katherine Kersten’s writings are poorly researched, her facts are dubious at best and her conservative values forces her into the Land of Hypocrisies. I remember one of her earliest columns where she finger-wagged her critics that picking on her because of her religion was strictly off-base. Yet, since the Imams story broke last year, Kersten routinely ridicules and/or marginalizes the Muslim faith. If there’s an update on the lawsuit the Imams have filed, Kersten’s on top of it. Did I already complain about her lack of factual information? Oh good, I did.

Because today’s column is no different. In her piece: “PlentyBlack Garbage Fly of surprises in Ghost Town of political moderates“, she writes…an allegory(?) about moderate Republicans who are leaving Congress and it reminds her of a “ghost town”. It’s a really stupid column that’s factually flawed but packed with complaints about liberal blogs like DailyKos, liberal groups like Move-On and the DLC. She notes that Minnesota’s 3rd CD Jim Ramstad’s departure reminds her of a ghost town and finishes with this paragraph:

Today, there’s a regular stampede of moderates running for office. But they are more likely to wear a red Republican R brand than a blue D

Huh?! What does this have to do with a ghost town? And the facts are once again; completely wrong.

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #1: There is a stampede going on — And the stamped is Republicans switching to become Democrats. Most recently in Texas, Represenative Kirk England of Grand Prairie announced his leaving the Republican Party and will caucus for Democrats from now on. England said with his middle finger in the air:

“After one session in the House, I found that the Republican leadership in Austin had no tolerance for the values and priorities of the folks I represent.

Note to Katherine Kersten: This is a quote from a Texan!

Last October, The Washington Post wrote a story that nine Republicans in Kansas have switched to the Democrat Party. In the piece entitled “Moderates in Kansas Decide They’re Not in GOP Anymore“, it noted that Mark Parkinson, the former Chair of the Kansas GOP has walked out of the party and ran for Lieutenant Governor with Kathleen Sebelius as a Democrat. And guess what – he won. The former GOP chairman of Kansas runs as a Democrat for Lt Governor and wins?!?!? He won?!?

We can’t even paint Kansas a deep-purple Red anymore…It’s Bluer than my Ben Franklin Purple-heart pin!!!

Last August 3, 2006, a rumor started that State Senatormosquito Nancy Riley of Oklahoma was trading her big red “R” brand for a shiny blue “D” brand because she was sick of the way the GOP had been treating her. By the end of the day, she switched and said this:

Riley says she was completely ignored by the Republican caucus during this year’s legislative session. She believes her treatment is because of her moderate views and because she’s a woman.

Note to Katherine Kersten:

Watch out Honey!! With the number of moderate Republicans stampeding to wear a big Blue “D” brand, you’re likely to get run over!!

Update #3: The term “RINO”, or “Republican In Name Only” shows up on ABC’s “Brothers and Sisters” program in Episode #25. The Walker family is heading to San Diego to reclaim a family-member and Kitty Walker (Republican-Calista Flockhart insists on tuning in the family car auto to a Konservative Radio Talk-Jock who makes animal noises when describing Ms. Walker’s fiance’. When asked about the noises, Kitty says; “It’s a rhinoceros” and her gay brother says: “I get it…RINO…”Republican In Name Only”.)

Updated #2: In Fairfax, VA, State Senator Jeannemarie Devolites Davis (R) is now running around calling herself a “RINO“: Republican In Name Only. In a district that’s regarded the most affluent in the state, Republicans watch it turning Blue and their state senator knows she can’t win on a Republican ticket.

Voters backed Democrats in the past two gubernatorial elections and went for U.S. Sen. Jim Webb last November.

JIm Hovland

Update #1: Ohhhhh…SNAP!! Big E from MnBlue just slapped me with a Comment. Apparently, Edina, MN mayor Jim Hovland is another “moderate Republican” who just might run for Ramstad’s Congressional seat… As a Democrat! How could I have missed that one?!?! I…Why I must have had a “Kersten-Sized brain-fart and forgot to do my research!”

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #2: Kersten said:

Rep. Jim Ramstad of the Third Congressional District, who recently announced his retirement, is the latest to star in this tragic/heroic role.

Wrong. If Kersten bothered fact-checking herself, she would have discovered that the Star-Tribune reported Ramstad’s departure was on the 17th of September. One Friday Setember 21st, Jerry Weller (R-IL) of th 11th Congressional District announced he will not be seeking a re-election, making Congress Weller the latest star that is “stampeding” out of Congress. To make the fact even more painful, Weller’s stepping down is in a large part because of the amount of investigations and allegations against him.

mosquito…In fact: A watchdog group has declared Weller one of the most corrupt members of Congress, there’s a subpoena in a former colleague’s bribery trial and criticism from not revealing to Congress the extent of Nicaraguan land purchases.

Other Republicans “stampeding” out of Congress so far includes Conservative Republican John Warner of Virginia and Moderate Republican Chuck Hagel of Nebraska.

Now what about this allegory of a “Ghost Town” of moderate Republicans? What would Katherine Kersten’s thriving little “Republicanville” town look like?

houseflyRep. Ken Calvert (R-CA) ,Rep. John T. Doolittle (R-CA), Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), Rep. Doc Hastings (R-WA), Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA), Rep. Gary G. Miller (R-CA), Rep. Timothy F. Murphy (R-PA), Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM), Rep. Rick Renzi (R-AZ), Rep Harold Rogers (R-KY), Rep Don Young (R-AK), Rep Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-CA), Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) and Rep. Heather A. Wilson (R-NM) would be headed to jail and/or under investigation by the local town sheriff. This includes both of Alaska’s Republican US Senators Ted Stevens and Lisa Murkowski, Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Kentucky’s Republican Senator Mitch McConnell.

Oklahoma Co Sheriff Republicanville would be jam-packed with Preachers who love the town whores. Preachers like Ted Haggard, Lonnie Latham and Coy Privette all enjoying adultery while finger-wagging the townsfolk all about the sins listed in the Bible. The only town’s preacher who isn’t sleeping with a prostitute is the town drunk who’s wearing a skirt and urinating against the local theater. And the sheriff arrested him once and the preacher offered fellatio on the sheriff and his deputy.

In fact, prostitution would seem to be the only industry inhousefly Kersten’s Republicanville that thrives!

Shoot! You can even get a discount from one of the Local Madam’s whores just by mentioning David Vitter’s (R-LA) name! In Republicanville, even the lone outhouse is haunted by State Represenative Bob Allen (R-FL) offering the men needing to use the toilet a shiny $20 gold-coin if they’ll give him the privilege to perform fellatio on them while Larry Craig (R-ID) is offering fellatio on the inside for free!

FoleyKersten’s perfect bustling town would have one radio station who’s only talk-show host is an over-weight drug addict who flies to tropical paradise islands where boy-prostitution is legal with an erectile dysfunction prescription filled out to somebody else. And while we’re talking about molesting little boys, let’s make sure we don’t forget Repupublicanville’s favored son Mark Foley (R-FL) who can molest your son faster than Kersten can write more bullshit in her next column.

Shucks Katherine, I completely forgot! Former United States Speaker of the House “Fat” Denny Hastert (R-IL) has decided to leave Congress faster than he could drum up an Exit Sign after deciding Mark Foley did no-wrong.

mosquitoBy the way: If your kid isn’t getting molested in Republicanville, he’s probably being raped in his sleep by the chair of the National Young Republicans Federation. If you have a daughter, she would be getting raped by the local National Young Republicans and then run around telling everybody that she deserved it.

Bush plays guitar

One time, the town had a flood that could have been easily prevented, but Republicanville’s Mayor ignored the town and decided instead hang on in a sing-along with a no-name musician named Mark Willis. When a bridge fell down in the town, 13 people died and Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville” thought the mayor fingers crossedwould come through for them. He didn’t of course and he won’t! He has the diction of a third grader, but they’re still crossing their fingers he’s gonna come through on that bridge re-building thing!!

housefly

Katherine Kersten has no wiggle room in criticizing anybody for anything in relation to politics or religion. Kersten’s conservative Christian views are flawed and those who share in her conservative Christian views are morally, ethically, politically and spiritually bankrupt. Kersten throws her Star-Tribune weight around to belittle and demean anything outside of the scope of her narrow dime-sized world. She’ll criticize gays, Muslims, academia, Democrats – anything that isn’t holding a Bible and carrying a crucifix and wearing a big “red Republican R brand on their chest.”

In exchange, the backdrop to Kersten’s stage is covered in a vile filth unlikeFruitFly 6 anything in American history. And yet, she continues to draw a paycheck! The Star Tribune finds her “valuable”, and I have a sneaky suspicion they’re keep this very stupid columnist on the payroll because so many of us love to hate her.