MRE: MICHELE BACHMAN DESTROYS THE GOP!!!

Poor Michele… She just can’t feel Jesus’ love inside the GOP anymore. After running her mouth off on Hardball with Chris Matthews saying she thought Obama had “anti-American sentiments” and then called for the liberal media to investigate members of Congress for suspicions of “anti-American sentiments”, she’s seemed to have discovered “anti-Bachmann sentiments” coming out of the leadership of her own Republican Party.

First up: the NRCC. Headed by Tom Cole (R-OK CD#4). The National Republican Congressional Committee has apparently decided that Michele Bachmann has become such a liability that they’ve cut off all advertising funds for her campaign.

Ouch! It’s pretty well decided: Michele Bachmann’s hate-mongering mouth is not a course of action that the GOP Leadership wants to invest into…

Compare and Contrast: Fox News dumps Michelle Malkin for being a crazy hate-monger – the NRCC dumps Michele Bachmann for being the exact.same.thing.

From Politico:

The NRCC had reserved time on behalf of Bachmann in early October, but the money had yet to flow to her district. She was not among the beneficiaries of a rush of new independent expenditures the committee made in the past two days.

Pitchforks and the Torches have gathered in downtown Republicanville and they are none too pleased. In a more accurate word-choice: “They’re mad as Hell and they’re not going to take it anymore!!

Conservative Republican (The Pitchfork Family) Amanda Carpenter over at Townhall whined about the situation. Ms. Carpenter wrote with her Crying Towel nearby:

So what does the NRCC do when the going gets tough for Bachmann? They get going. Far, far away from her.

Apparently, since the NRCC didn’t run up and give bat-shit-crazy Michele Bachmann a giant squeezy-hug and then shove a giant sunflower into her machine-gun mouth… Ms Carpenter feels “left out”. Somebody must have decided that losing General Colin Powell to the Democrats was a bigger loss than losing Michele “I Love GWB” Bachmann and finally… Dumped her!

Editor-in-Chief Erik Erikson, a proud member of the Torch Family, whipped out the big stick from out of his ass and called Tom Cole (R-OK) a douchebag!

Let’s just call Tom Cole (R-OK), the head of the NRCC, what he is: a douchebag.

Erickson seems to be a wee upset, but manages to continue..:

Now, in the height of all douchebaggery, he has pulled all funding from Michelle Bachmann’s very winnable race in Minnesota, in which she is presently leading, though not by a great deal.

Why? Because Bachmann had the nerve to point out Obama pals around with anti-American domestic terrorists and other unsavory characters, i.e. she’s echoed Sarah Palin.

…Just a wee-bit pissed off? Earth To Erickson! Michele Bachmann spells her name with only one “L”…Not Two!! Earth to Erickson… Hello?!? Hello?!?!? Oh crap… Houston1 We’ve lost contact with Erickk Erickkson!!

And then… Erickson whips out his own Crying Towel:

But that’s okay. Apparently we have Republicans to spare.

Sarcasm! I like it!! Pouting?! Hrmm… Not so much.

The folks at Redstate run back to Update the original by clarifying to their guppy-headed faithful on why they’re so upset: They’re mad at Tom Cole for pulling the Bachmann support-ads!!

For perspective, Tom Cole has been sending money to Don Young in Alaska. So attacking the Democrats is unacceptable to Tom Cole, but taint and corruption is perfectly fine.

You still upset I called him a douchebag?

For those who are unaware of what he’s blabbering about, I’ll try to explain…

Alaskan Congresscreature Don Young is under investigation for earmarking $10million dollars to Florida to build/improve a road for one of his major campaign contributers. It’s a nasty story…read it here, here, and here.

Placed into context: (Republican) Redstate Editor-in-Chief, Erik Erickson is complaining that Tom Cole (R-OK), Chair of the National Republican Congressional Committee, will support (Heterosexual) Alaskan Congresscreature Don Young…but he won’t support Minnesota Congresscreature Michele Bachmann because she’s crazier than cow-snot on a barbed-wire fence. And, since watch-dog group CREW (Citizens for Responsibility for Ethics in Washington) has declared Don Young their MOST CORRUPT member in Washington, then it’s obvious — Tom Cole (R-OK) is a douchebag.

Get it?! The Pitchforks and the Torches within Republicanville are demanding the heads of their own Mayors, Dukes and Grand Wizards for doing what they should have done two years ago: They DUMPED BACHMANN!

Ugh!! In the immortal words of the Wicked Witch of the West as she melted away…What a world…what a world….

Minnesota local-yokel Republican, Andy Aplikowski (another Pitchfork) has his Crying Towel front-and-center.

Andy weeps:

I am just absolutely amazed at how far NBC is willing to go to cover up for their hack journalists like Chris Matthews.

Like Joe the Plumber, now Michele Bachmann has been more vetted by the mainstream media than Barrack Obama.

And seriously, they dug up Nick Coleman for this one?
I certainly hope the Republican Party of Minnesota is going to get involved now. Pawlenty threw Bachmann under the bus yesterday and I haven’t heard a single peep from Ron Carey. Let’s not forget that Carey is a constituent of Bachmann’s.

The full scale media attack to destroy Bachmann and twist her words is unreprehensible.

Awww… tsk tsk tsk… Poor Andy… He’s got an Idiot in Congressional Representation, and now that the National Republican Congressional Campaign has dumped her, he’s just going full-tilt with a wide-range on allegations:

  • Chris Mattews is an “NBC Hack”?!
  • NBC is “covering-up” for Matthews?!

Excuse me?!

Dear Andy Apilowski:

Chris Matthews is a “hack”?!

Are you serious?! …Or are you really that “new”?!

Seriously. I recall Chris Matthews booty-smooches GOP Crooks like Tom Delay (R-TX Jail Time) while yucking it up while off the air!!

Are you really that New?!?! Matthews is a “hack” because your Bachmann is that stupid and the GOP is now finding that out?!?”

Mr. Apilowski — Chris Matthews has been your best friend in Media – perhaps you’re the Hack-Job here and Michele Bachmann is the Wack-Job over there in DC!

Sincerely,

Fruit F. Fly

Why can’t these Republicans taken responsibility for themselves?! It’s unbelievable!!

Okay all you cry-babies out there… Let’s let the “Mighty Fruit Fly” resolve the dispute for you. Let’s run over to the original transcript and read verbatim what Congresscreature Michele Bachmann said…Exactly

Transcript from the Federal News Service

MATTHEWS: So this is a character issue. You believe that Barack Obama may — you’re suspicious because of this relationship — may have anti-American views. Otherwise it’s probably irrelevant to this discussion.

REP. BACHMANN: Absolutely.

MR. MATTHEWS: So you believe it brings into —

REP. BACHMANN: I absolutely —

MR. MATTHEWS: So you believe that Barack Obama may have anti- American views.

REP. BACHMANN: Absolutely. I’m very concerned that he may have anti-American views. That’s what the American people are concerned about. That’s why they want to know what his answers are. That’s why Joe the plumber has figured so highly in the last few days —

Anything in there that appears like it was as cover-up?! Mr. Apilowski!?! Are you paying attention?!? Did your crazy Congresscreature say those words or did she not?!?!

And about the leaders in Congress? Bachmann says:

MR. MATTHEWS: What about people like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, the liberals you were mentioning a moment ago? Where would you put them? Would you consider them anti-American as well?

REP. BACHMANN: I would consider them to have —

MR. MATTHEWS: Are they anti-American?

REP. BACHMANN: — far leftist views. I’m not going to say that they’re anti-American or pro-American.

MR. MATTHEWS: The speaker of the House is —

REP. BACHMANN: I will say the speaker —

So – Nancy Pilosi! Bachmann’s apparently not too sure about Senate Majority Leader Harry Ried… But Speaker of the House, Nancy Pilosi – she’s definitely got some of that “anti-American sentiments” in her. (I’m guessing it’s because Nancy PIlosi’s district is in that “Gay Area” known as San Francisco?!)

And what about the rest of the members of Congress?!

MR. MATTHEWS: Well, he’s a United States senator from Illinois. He’s one of the people you suspect as being anti-American. How many people in the Congress of the United States do you think are anti- American? You’ve already suspected Barack Obama. Is he alone, or are there others? How many do you suspect of your colleagues as being anti-American?

REP. BACHMANN: What I would say — what I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think people would love to see an expose like that.

She’s a crazy person, you Goofs!!!

Michele Bachmann is nuttier than standing on Cashew Corner in Walnut Grove chewin’ on a Salted Nut Roll!

She’s the Acorn…with extra corn!!

Sheeshe!!

I have a question:

Why does Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin’s husband Todd Palin get a free-pass on this subject of “Anti-American Sentiments”?!

Alaska’s First Dude belonged to a secessionist movement up there in Wasilla called the “Alaska Independence Party”. Todd Palin would be thrilled to personally rip a star off the American flag at any opportunity by declaring Alaska separate from the United States. And yet; It’s the liberals in congress who are publicly accused on MSNBC with (Pitchfork) Chris Matthews by Minnesota’s Congresscreature Michele Bachmann, but Secessionists who hate America are ignored without regard

The Republican Vice Presidential Candidate applauds those who’ll happily denounce their citizenry of the United States – And that’s ignored. But, being a liberal from San Francisco will get you accused publicly on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews.

Stay tuned for more on this horrifying story!!! Coming up soon: MIchele Bachmann hate’s Jesus and His Children by supporting Anti-Christian Petters’ fund-raiser Frank Vennes!!!

The “Purification” of the GOP (The Matzo ball Soup Lunch)

Matzo ballC’mone in! Come on! Oh, don’t worry about your shoes, they’re fine. I’m so glad youLox came! C’mon sit down! “Take a load off!” as they say. Sit! Sit! I’m in the middle of my lunch; a little bit of smoked Lox and a bowl of Matzo ball soup. You want some?! No? I don’t blame you. I’ve discovered I’m not too much of a fan of the stuff. The Lox is okay but the soup? I dunno. Let’s put it this way: I am no longer curious as to why there aren’t any television shows focusing on Jewish cuisine on that Food Network channel.

The Matzo balls are okay – but the broth is pretty thin – huh? Oh no, no, no…I’m not Jewish. I’m gay, so I have a natural affinity for anything that comes accessorised with balls. You should see my Christmas tree! Oy Vey! I’ve got more swinging balls on my tree than you can count at a gay pride parade!. No, I just thought I’d try it and see what it tastes like…

Here…let me show you something. Check this out:

Gay Republicans come out of the closet

This is the funniest article I’ve read in months. This is a piece written about a gay couple in South Carolina who’s “coming out of the ‘Gay Closet’ and hoping the South Carolina GOP will be welcoming them with open arms.

The article is all about the GOP is being shunned in every aspect of America society. Concerned, more and more RepublicanPig Lipstick gay and lesbian people are joining the Log Cabin Republicans: “Because they’re worried about the party extinction”. I’m paraphrasing, I know. Go ahead and read it yourself. But the real gem is on the third page.

The conversation revolves around this one (minor) hope in the link between Rudy Giulinani and the LCR’s. Guiliani of course, hangs with the Manhattan queens in between marriages, and his very weird attraction for going out in drag. Noel Freeman out of the Houston (Texas) Chapter finds comfort in Giuliani:

“I think it is refreshing to see a prominent Republican who is supportive of our issues doing so well,” said Noel Freeman, who is head of Log Cabin’s Houston chapter.

Gay Republican activists say the party needs to expand its base if it wants to remain relevant by shedding its anti-abortion and anti-gay rights platforms and aiming for the political center on social issues.

houseflyBut then Freeman drops the bomb on page 3 and I think it’s not only an accurate statement, but a very funny one too:

“I’m afraid that the Republican Party is going to make itself so pure that it will be able to meet in a phone booth,” said Freeman.

LOL! They’re comin’ to the Twin Cities next year to hang out in our PHONE BOOTHS! ALL SEVEN OF THEM!

Oh dear, I just think that’s too funny… Who needs the Xcel Energy center when you can rent a couple of telephone booths and your delegates and call in their votes with a quarter?

An Coulter…And for a political party who’s idolatry involves capitalism and Mens Restrooms, you’d think they would be looking for voters to buy into their greed and their wars. No. They’re chasing them away. Check out their Great White Princess, Ann Coulter. At 46, she’s the only one who thinks she’s attracting votes with a micro-mini and a mouth that could suck the chrome off a trailer-hitch. We’re seriously running out of groups she hasn’t vented on either. Let’s see; there are the 911 widows, women’s suffrage in general (Coulter doesn’t think women are smart enough to vote) and her newest group: The Jews. Coulter thinks Jews need to be “perfected“. Now that Ann Coulter is sounding an aweful lot like Joseph Goebbels, she is no friend to the GOP. And yet they can’t help but buy her books and give her air-time just to watch her do her best hair-flip.Malkin Enemy

I’m sorry. I’m being rude. Can I get you some coffee? Tea? Coffee?! Oh good! I have a fresh brew of some of Starbucks beans. I’ll be right back…

…So if they’re not pissing off the Jews, women and the 9-11 widows, who’s next?!! Sugar or cream?! They’ll focus on the Asian Americans of course! Michelle Malkin, a Filipino-American and über-conservative herself, runs out and says

 

“Hillary campaign contributors” who were “smellier than stinky tofu.”

Honestly: How much hypocrisy are the American voterBlack Garbage Fly expected to buy from these … people? Malkin goes on a rant on the topic in her piece entitled:

Spanking Asian-American grievance-mongers again

Hypocrite Card

…where she says:

“If it’s ‘ethnic profiling’ to be extra-careful of Chinatown donors who can’t speak English, live in dilapidated buildings, have never voted, can’t tell Hillary Clinton from Hunan Chicken or simply can’t be found, then ‘ethnic profiling’ should be the standard procedure of every responsible campaign.”

Malkin played her Hypocrite card with that one. She must have been “feeling” her groove while she was out on that field trip visiting the Frost family and terrorizing their neighborhood. Putting the kibosh on the SCHIP for families who can’t afford health insurance for their kids was a HUGE coup d’état for the GOP. Malkin terrorizing the Frost familyWicked drew the largest applause from Ebeneezer Scrooge, Blue Cross/Blue Shield and Elphaba Thropp. Her latest in spoofing the Asian-American community by declaring their incompetence proved her willingness to be nothing but a three-dollar whore for the Hate-Party of the GOP.

The GOP’s hatred of children isn’t lost on some “poor” little brats either. Locally here in Minnesota, former state representative Phil Krinkie (now chairman of the Minnesota Tax Payer League) is calling to jettison mentally handicapped and physically challenged children from our local school districts. He thinks they should be shunted into isolated “special schools” where it’ll be easier to defund their education Deer Flyand leave those kids to get their education behind their neighbor’s garbage cans. Krinkie also wants class sizes expanded to 200 to 300 students per class because it more “closely reflects what college life would be like.” (Watch the video here.) Funny, don’t you think? Phil Krinkie wants class sizes at 300 students, but there’s no talk about school teachers getting professor-sized salaries.

And the in-fighting within the party ranks is both witty and delightful. The James Dobson crowd has all but bailed on the entire GOP ticket. The Evangelicals have declared a military junta against the GOP if Giuliani or Romney win the nomination. Holding a debate at a predominantly African-American university, the GOP’s top four most popular candidates simply failed to show up, snubbing the entire African-American community. Their wanna-be website “Redstate” was created to look like the progressive/liberals DailyKos site: a one-stop shopping experience for everythinghousefly conservative, political and Whitey. They decided to kick out their members who are excited about Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul.

“Effective immediately, new users may *not* shill for Ron Paul in any way shape, form or fashion. Not in comments, not in diaries, nada. If your account is less than 6 months old, you can talk about something else, you can participate in the other threads and be your zany libertarian self all you want, but you cannot pimp Ron Paul. Those with accounts more than six months old may proceed as normal.”RNC 2008

Can we scratch off any expectations that Ron Paul supporters will be showing up in Minneapolis/St Paul next year? We’ve already scratched off the Asians, the Jews, African-Americans, Evangelical Christians and women (especially the 9-11 Widows). OH! I forgot: ..and every American voter making less than $80,000 annually who have children and can’t afford health insurance.

Then there are the parents who have children who are handicapped and any parents who appreciate small class sizes.

To be fair to the Gestapo good folks over a Redstate, they have rescinded the ban on Ron Paul supporters. Andrew Sullivan opened his site on The Dish for the little jihadist geeks to gush over their favorite on his site and Redstate took an offense to it. Andrew Sullivan is gay you see…And well…Redstate well, we all know what Republicans thing about The Gays. But in the meantime; we can all THANK GOD for the Log Cabin Republicans are worried about the extinction of the GOP!! Can you think of anybody else that are worried?

We’re now thinking the 2008 Republican Convention campaign is going to be nothing but a KKK rally high on Red Bull.

KKK

Their fighting within the political ranks are becoming more apparent as well as within their own blogospheres. It’s almost like watching championship Halo III tournaments in slow-mo.

Late September, the National Republican Campaign Committee chair Tom Cole (R-OK) was threatening to resign. If he did, then John Boehner (R-OH) was going to have the two most senior positions fired immediately. It’s right here – check it out:

In a recent meeting in the minority leader’s office, Boehner told Cole that he was displeased at how the NRCC is being run. Republican sources say Boehner wants to replace Pete Kirkham, the NRCC’s executive director, and Terry Carmack, its political director, with more “aggressive” people with a more “realistic” view on next year’s elections, sources said.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. After Boehner slaps Cole around like a butcher with a slab of beef, Cole starts yelling at his employees in German saying…here…right here:

After the meeting, an angry Cole called together the NRCC staff and told them [in perfect German] that if they were not happy working at the committee, they might want to consider leaving immediately, said several GOP insiders. That Cole outburst occurred last Monday, said the sources.

mosquitoBut the fight going on isn’t with staffing and leadership at all. The real in-fighting is coming out of a really stressed out Republican party. Because all you have to do is let your be-jeweled finger scroll down the piece and find the magic bullet …there:

The NRCC has raised $34.6 million this cycle, compared with $43.6 million by the DCCC, although the big difference is cash-on-hand, where Democrats have a huge advantage: $22 million in cash, compared with the NRCC’s $1.6 million.

The NRCC also has $4 million in outstanding debt left over from the 2005-06 cycle, down from nearly $11 million at the beginning of the year, according to its latest filing with the Federal Election Commission. The Democrats’ debt is $3.1 million.

Now that I’m thinking about it, let me call St Paul mayor Chris Coleman and make sure these itchy Republican parasites have enough to pay for their GOP Presidential campaign election!

They’ve already begun to eat their own. Larry Craig wanted to attend a GOP NRSC fundraiser in the sunshiny resort area of Sea Island, GA. NRSC staffers had to call Craig’s office to let him know that he wasn’t invited even though he circled “YES” on the RSVP. The NRSC chair, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) has been blasting Craig’s behavior and everybody realizes that the Party Pervert is a huge drag on fund-raising.

Look, it’s like Martin Niemoeller said:

In Germany they came first for the commmunists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Niemoeller was wrong. You’ll always have Noel Freeman and a handful of Log Cabin Republicans who’ll speak up for you. They’ll go to any mile, any length to save the GOP. The more the GOP hates them, the greater the appeal. And when everybody in America hates these GOP parasites, they’ll always have the gays and lesbians who’ll worry about them.FruitFly 6

Are you sure about that soup? I can get you a cup if you’d prefer. Do you want to take some home with you? I can get a “go cup” and you can just heat it up in the microwave. How about some Lox?!