WBC To Protest “Fag” Michael Jackson Memorial

This is gonna rawk…

In case you’re unaware – Westboro Baptist Chuch is the “God Hates Fags” group out of Kansas.  fruitfly21The church as only 80-odd members, most of whom are related to Fred Phelps in some form or another.  Two, maybe three of his own children have disowned him, the remaining children are all lame-suck attorneys.

The game-plan is always the same for these douche-bags.  If anybody lays a finger on them – their attorneys are filing lawsuits against everybody – including the Jackson family and the Staples Center.

The answer to the situation is simple: Arrest these A-holes before some 200,000 Michael Jackson fans bear down on the entire group and give all of them a colonoscopy with one of their “God Hates Fags” signs.

Watching LAPD underestimate the furor these massive crowds are going to ventilate against this tiny little band of hate mongers would be sweet.  More than likely, none of them would survive to file their lawsuits and we’ll all be the better for it. The Limousines: Very Busy People I’m not going to advocate murdering these douchebags, although it would be deserved.  I’m just imagining the chaos that would result if someone isn’t paying attention.  Calling Michael Jackson a “Fag” following the Prop 8 aftermath just makes for some really bad mo-jo.

Pam gets the street-creds for spotting it.

Pastor Ted Haggard Explains His Gayness: “We Blew It”!

Yes kiddies…! Pastor Ted Haggard’s back again!! Only this time, he’s front and center to explain why his “gay life” was kept in The Closet for all of these years: He was sexually abused as a child.

That’s it! We can all go home now! Everything is A-OK! Nothing to see here! Move on along!! Thanks for your concern! Thanks for stopping!!

Once again we have a conservative Republican, horribly addicted to Meth, addicted to illicit sexual activity with a prostitute and addicted to adult gay porn — Blame all of it on someone else.

I’ve always thought that the first step in any addiction is for the person to fully confront that they have the disease and deal with it one day at a time. I could prattle on all of the remaining eleven steps of sobriety but it’s that first one I’ve always been told what was the most important.

Pastor Ted Haggard, leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, admitted to having a long-term sexual affair with 49-year old male prostitute Mike Jones in Denver, CO. Jones, right before the 2006 elections, dropped the bomb-shell of the century that shattered the NAE, an organization that included over 47,000 churches and over 30 million members nationwide. Jones admitted to providing meth during the weekend-long sexual adventures where they remained perpetually stoned and watched gay porn.

On November 4th, just weeks after the bombshell of a story exploded, the NAE demanded Haggard’s resignation while other prominent homophobic religious zealots scrambled for safety. Uber-Hate Monger, James B. Dobson, president of Focus on the Family, came out swinging with this:

“The possibility that an illicit relationship has occurred is alarming to us and to millions of others,” Dobson said.

“He will continue to be my friend, even if the worst allegations prove accurate,” he continued. “Nevertheless, sexual sin, whether homosexual or heterosexual, has serious consequences.”

While Tony Perkins, chair of the uber-Hate Group “The Family Research Council” came out with:

“In his position as a leader of the evangelical community, this personal tragedy has public ramifications, so we urge that a full accounting of the facts be swift and complete.”

One year later, Mike Jones went on a radio station in Las Vegas and noted that US Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) was also one of his regular clients.

Fast forward another year and 1 week later, and Pastor Ted is blaming an employee of his father’s business for his bizarre attraction towards 49 year old male prostitutes:

Haggard said one of his father’s employees “had a sexual experience with me” when Haggard was 7, according to audio recordings of the sermons posted on the ABC News Web site.

Haggard said he later became “a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things.

“But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade started to rage in my mind and in my heart,” he said.

So, it was some other sexual pervert that made you gay, is that right Pastor Ted?! Now I see how easy it would be to be finally cured! Once I’m “cured”, does that mean I’ll join a construction crew and whistle lewdly at blond chicks with big racks? You mean, all I have to do is kick out a sketchy story that blames some obscure male figure in my childhood and everything will be okay?

WOW!

To think that something that simple and the world would be plagued with millions of little Junior Fruit Flies!

Pastor Ted then went on to blame everybody else for failing to capitalize on the opportunity to use the event to proseltyze the Word of God through mainstream media.

Haggard said church leaders missed an opportunity to use his scandal to “communicate the gospel worldwide through secular media.”

“We consistently blow it when those opportunities arise”, he said.

“A congressman in trouble, that’s the time. A family member gets himself in horrible trouble, that’s the time. A preacher gets himself in awful trouble, that’s the time,” he said, his voice rising to a near-shout.

Extra Homework Credit: Watch the ABC News Exclusive with Pastor Ted’s Story by clicking here.

Extra-Extra Homework Credit: Someone please tell me that Mrs. Ted Haggard has taken an AIDS test. That goes for all of these Republican wives for God’s Sakes! Larry Craig’s wife Suzanne needs an AIDS test, David Vitter’s (R-LA) wife Wendy needs an AIDS test..! These Republican wives are nothing but depositories of the AIDS virus and nobody seems to be interested in noting the obvious. It would behoove Laura Bush herself get an AIDS test too… Let’s not forget that other Closet Queen, Jeff Gannon who was living in the White House for two years…

Oh dear… I’m preaching to the choir now..! What have I worked myself up to..??! Worrying about Republican wives? Ted Haggard?! Why should I care about these people?!?!

There isn’t a single one of them that gave a flying-fuck about any gay man who died of the AIDS virus from 1978-2008.

Why should I care about any of them?


Lesbian’s Father Running for President of the United States (His Dirty Little Secret)

Maya Marcel-KeyesMaya Keyes probably wouldn’t appreciate that title so much. After all, it was her father on Feb 4, 2005, who kicked her into the streets without any money and no place to live after she came out of the closet as a lesbian. Err…, I meant “liberal queer lesbian“. Two weeks later on Valentines Day, Maya Marcel-Keyes stood in front of GLBT citizens in Annapolis, MD at a “Equality Maryland” rally and said:

“Things just came to a head. Liberal queer plus conservative Republican just doesn’t mesh well,” she said. “That was making my life a little bit turbulent.”

Yes, the picture you’re looking at is Maya who was homeless and penniless only two weeks earlier.

Her father, a Republican (of course), wouldn’t have anything to do with her and said the day before earlier:

“My daughter is an adult, and she is responsible for her own actions. What she chooses to do has nothing to do with my work or political activities.”

In 2004, while on the campaign trail competing for a US Senate seat in Illinois, Alan Keys was interviewed on the radio where he greedily discussed his hatred for homosexuality. Of Mary Cheney, the Vice President’s daughter who is a lesbian, Keyes called her a “selfish hedonist”. He went on with:

Then, without having been asked anything about his own family, [Keyes] volunteered that “if my daughter were a lesbian, I’d look at her and say, ‘That is a relationship that is based on selfish hedonism.’ I would also tell my daughter that it’s a sin and she needs to pray to the Lord God to help her deal with that sin.”

Maya’s coming out shouldn’t have been a surprise to her parents Alan and Jocelyn. They’d found gay newspapers under her bed during her teen years and they berated her about homosexuality. Keyes’ conversation on the radio was all a lie. He already knew his daughter was a lesbian!

Her parents have known that Maya is a lesbian since they found a copy of the Washington Blade, the gay weekly, in her room and confronted her at the end of high school (she went to Oakcrest School for Girls, a Catholic school in McLean run by the church’s highly devout Opus Dei movement.) Ever since, Maya says, her parents have told her that her sexuality is wrong and sinful.

“As long as I was quiet about being gay or my politics, we got along,” she says. “Then I went to the Counterinaugural,” last month’s protests in Washington against President Bush. “My father didn’t like that.”

If you’re really interested in Alan Keyes’ hatred view towards homosexuality, you can explore his “logic” on “Why homosexual couples adopting a child leads towards incest” by watching this:

(It’s truly stunning to see Arrogance, Stupidity and Idiocy all combined inside a suit and tie wrapper.)

Alan Keyes, the stalwart of the Republican Party and the pride of conservative American family values, made an appearance at the GOP Debates in December 2007. Having a podium of his own, it left everybody curious as to why he was even up there! Was he running? Was he serious about running?

Homophobic AssholesThe GOP always has made room for Hatred! There’s no such thing as “too much homophobia”! Of course Alan Keyes is running for president, Silly! Only this time, he’ll have to do it without Maya’s help.

  • Take notice of the cartoon of Bride and Bride getting married on his “official website”.
  • Now take notice of the first bullet line on his website? It’s an attack on Mitt Romney’s alleged direct involvement with gay marriage in Massachusetts.
  • Now the first sentence in the piece quotes Keyes by saying:

“Mitt Romney is single-handedly responsible for instituting same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.”

Using the same logic, Keyes goes on to explain his own stupidity:

“Most people are unaware of the way Massachusetts came to adopt same-sex marriage,” the former Reagan administration diplomat said. “They think the state’s Supreme Judicial Court forced it to happen. That’s incorrect.”

Said Keyes, “The court merely issued an opinion stating that, in its view, the existing marriage law was unconstitutional because it failed to allow persons of the same sex to marry. The court then gave the legislature 180 days to ‘take such action as it may deem appropriate in light of this opinion’ — implicitly telling lawmakers to come up with a new marriage statute.”

Obviously Willard Romney didn’t do enough during that 180-day window of time to fully satisfy the Very Honorable and extraordinarily Pompous Alan Keyes. Keyes completes his stupidity with this comment:

“This action by Mitt Romney is among the most socially-damaging actions by a chief executive in our nation’s history. Because of its far-reaching implications for the future of the traditional family, it threatens to destroy our entire moral and cultural fabric more than any other executive action I can think of.”

And here all these years, I thought it was bad grammar to end a sentence with a preposition.

That Gay Marriage in Massachusetts thing happened in May of 2004. And ya know… I don’t really see it destroying our entire moral and cultural fabric!!! What moral and cultural fabric has been destroyed after four and a half years’ time? If anybody can leave a comment with some ideas on what moral fabric has been destroyed as a direct result of gay marriage, I would certainly appreciate the heads up on that!!!

What do I admire the most about Alan Keyes? It’s the fact that on his MySpace account, he lists himself as a “Proud Parent” in the bio-section. You just can’t get hypocrisy any better than that.

FruitFlyI’m blaming Mark Karlin, Editor and Publisher of BuzzFlash.com for this story. It was his fault that I had to do all this work to write this story. Meanwhile, click on my picture for a cool little campaign song for Alan Keyes and his bid for President of the United States.

This Sucks: Cuban Gays considering to get legal same-sex recognition

The Commies in Havana are considering giving more rights to their same-sex couples than we offer here in the United States. Comparatively speaking; the Republicans have managed to limit almost any rights for gays and lesbians here in the “Land of the Marginally Free and the Not So Brave”.Living in a free world

Which begs the question: Is it better to live in a socialist or even communist state than it is to live in a land dictated by the GOP?

Okay, let’s tally up a review of countries that allow same-sex marriage. A trip over to Wikidom and this is what we find:

  • The Netherlands
  • Spain
  • Canada
  • Belgium

Damned Canadians…

…And the Belgians too!! Have you seen what those Belgian girls look like?!! Ugh!! The Republicans routinely blast the stupid theory that if we allow same-sex marriage; how long before people will be wanting to marry their cow, their dog or perhaps their favorite chicken? Now you have a land famous for waffles, Belgian workhorses and ugly chicks and you throw in same-sex marriages…!? That’s a classic disaster waiting to happen if you’re a Republican. And yet, we’re still waiting to hear someone who’d rather marry their favorite horse in exchange of a fine looking Belgian lass holding a short-stack smothered with real maple syrup. So much for that stupid Republican theory about Man-On-Marmoset Rights thing.

Iran HomosexualsIsrael recognizes same-sex unions performed in other countries too. However it’s still illegal to perform same-sex civil unions (for now). But just you watch; it won’t be long before the Israelis are reminded that the gays and lesbians were murdered and tortured during the Holocaust just as the Jews were. POOF!! The Israeli Knesset will dole out full-blown same-sex civil rights faster than Yentl could slobber down a bowlful of Kreplach soup on any given night during Yom Kippur.

The Canadians and the Spanish both have laws where same-sex marriages have all of the same set of rights as their hetero-coupled neighbors.

…Damned Canadians. Sheeshe!

Civil Unions, Civil partnerships, domestic partnerships, unregistered partnerships or registered partnerships are available in the following countries not controlled or out of reach from control of the GOP:

  • Andorra
  • Columbia
  • Croatia
  • Czech Republic
  • Denmark
  • Finland
  • France
  • Germany
  • Hungary
  • Iceland
  • Israel
  • Luxembourg
  • New Zealand
  • Norway
  • Portugal
  • Slovenia
  • South Africa
  • Sweden
  • Switzerland
  • United Kingdom
  • …Parts of Argentina
  • Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)
  • Mexico
  • Uruguay

Columbia?!! Uruguay?! ..And Argentina? Freakin half of South America gets more rights and respect to their GLBT citizens than they do here!! I have a better chance hooking up with a gaucho from La Paz, Argentina than I have in La Paz, Texas. …And we’d have more rights in Argentina!Giuliani Kerik

Think about it: You can buy a line of blow from a man in Columbia and have a civil-union ceremony with him and have more legal rights than you would if you were in Fucking-Florida. Because if you’re gay in Florida, you can’t even adopt an orphaned child.

Now I had to look up Andorra since I’m not up on my Euro-Trash geography. This country is about the size of an Eisenhower dollar on the border between France and Spain. Andorrans, surprisingly have the longest life expectancy throughout the known world. I can marry my Star Trekkie husband in Andorra and truly “live long and prosper”. And we won’t have any “God Hates Fags” protests marching outside our funeral services. Good bye Republicans…Make room, Andorra!

Here in the United States; the following have registered same-sex partnerships on the books:

  • California
  • Connecticut
  • Hawaii
  • Maine
  • New Hampshire
  • New Jersey
  • Oregon (delays)
  • Vermont
  • Washington
  • District of Columbia

In the land Down Under: Australia’s laws are completely insane. But built-in provisions between states, territories and council areas have same-sex registry systems for:

  • Sydney
  • Melbourne
  • Tasmania
  • Victoria

Unregistered same-sex couples have rights in:

  • Queensland
  • South Australia
  • Northern Territory
  • Norfolk Island
  • Western Australia
  • Australian Capital Territory
  • New South Wales

As far as I’ve heard; there hasn’t been one single marriage request for an Aussie to marry his favorite koala, ostrich or platypus. However, I did hear about some Aussie lesbian who tried to get her freaky on with a kangaroo! She was about 37, dishwater blond hair…smallish boobs…. Face it: That GOP shit about marrying your goat is crap and Americans are stupid enough to believe them.

Same sex-couples in Sweden and Iceland both get nearly everything identical to their heterosexual neighbors enjoy. But there’s an added bonus to be in a gay relationship if you hail from the land of lingonberries and Bjork:

…Partnership laws are short laws that state that wherever the word “marriage” appears in the country’s law will now also be construed to mean “registered partnership” and wherever the word “spouse” appears will now also be construed to mean “registered partner” – thereby transferring the body of marriage laws onto same-sex couples in registered partnerships. In these countries, registered partnerships are generally called marriage in daily speech.

Civil Partnerships in United Kingdom and Civil Unions in New Zealand have identical legal status to (heterosexual) marriages. These same sex-couples enjoy the same rights including tax exemptions, joint property rights as well as next-of-kin status and shared parenting responsibilities. As far as I’ve been told: There have been no immediate spike in the price of lamb chops or mutton since all of these “gay rights” have become available in these countries.

So I’ll ask the question again: Is it better to live in a socialist or even communist state than it is to live in a land dictated by the GOP? Is worrying about some idiot marrying their parakeet really seem that likely to you? Does it seem logical enough for someone who claims to live in a country that brags about “freedom”?FruitFly

Now we can throw in the Commies in Cuba on the list of countries where the gays and lesbians have equal rights and the United States doesn’t. Countries where most folks have never heard of give more respect to their gay and lesbian citizens than we do here in the U.S. And at the mere mention of gay and lesbian civil recognition… and the GOP ‘s Hate Machine goes into full-tilt and fear and loathing is spread throughout the community.

…Damned Cubans. Fucking Republicans…

Update:

Al Gore has just published his “Opinion” on CurrenTV which was picked up on Pams House Blend. Although I loves me some Al Gore, no doubt there’s someone out there who’ll falsely claim Al Gore invented Gay Marriage.

Found in the Dumpster

New Aussie Prime Minister eats his own earwaxVoting Dumpster

Hey… Quit grossing out about the fact. At least we know he still hates Bush. (In the non-gay sort of way.) And since conservative John Howard’s administration is now defunct, there’s a new push to renew the same-sex marriage laws. With that in play, I’ll even invite the “Earwax Yum-Yum” guy to my own same-sex wedding.

Stupid celebrities too drunk to be considered “celebrities” in the future

Britney Spears hires a driver for her own habitual drinking-n-driving. That dude, shortly afterwards quits and says; “even in the back of the limo, she’s still a liability“. Does everybody remember when Britney was sober and acted like a Republican by saying stupidly:

“Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision that he makes and we should just support that…”

The remaining two transgendered members of HRC’s Board of Directors have resigned walked out

HRC (Human Rights Campaign) people had to weigh in between two evils with the ENDA bill as it passed through Congress: Getting some legislation passed without including the transgenered community in exchange of getting nothing passed at all.mosquito

Now we all know an unexpected truth: the Human Rights Campaign is only interested in some humans. But certainly not all of them. One could hardly blame Donna Rose and Jamison Greene.

I’m so old, I remember Marlon Riggs’ film Tongues Untied from 1991. Riggs’ film taught us about discrimination against gay people and how hypocritical it is when gay people discriminate against their own. In his case, against African-American gays and lesbians. Sixteen years later and one less Marlon Riggs in our midst and we’re still discriminating against our own!

Black Garbage FlyWe Are the World” retooled into a GLBT hate song by the “God Hates Fags” people

I think it’s fantastic, personally. Especially when you get to the parts where these Republican hags come to a chorus and start talking about eating our children. I’m guessing most of them are Mike Huckabee voters and a few of them are Ron Paul supporters. I could be wrong, but I’m sure I spotted Michele Bachmann somewhere past 2:23 into the middle of it. Her husband was behind the camera carrying his her purse.

US Presidential Democratic hopeful Mike Gravel does a great rap-tune

Up yours Puffy! Screw you Usher! “Bite me” Snoop! Y’all can’t hang with my boy Mike G when he’s hangin’ in the crib with his homeys!

Domain Registered company “Go Daddy dot Com” funds Larry Craig ads

Cheerleaders, hot blondes, pom-pom girls, it’s all about funding the upcoming NFL Super Bowl and Go Daddy dot com had to make a decision. They’ve decided to parody Larry Craig’s potty-behavior and have loads of fun with the idea, inspite of their konservative korporate kounterparts who are objecting to the marketing plans.

Bob Parsons, Go Daddy chief executive officer, announced the company’s advertising intentions in his blog Tuesday. He had blogged in August that the company was considering spending on other opportunities, citing the success of its Indianapolis 500 broadcast sponsorship.

But Go Daddy’s share of the domain-name market went from 16 percent before its 2005 Super Bowl ad to 25 percent in weeks and months after the game, Parsons said. Market share rose further to 32 percent after the 2006 ad and now stands at 42 percent, he said.

“If you look at the historical payoff, we came to the conclusion we can’t afford not to do it,” he said Tuesday in explaining the decision to buy at least one Super Bowl spot.

…that reminds me. I have a doman with GoDaddy I have to re-register and soon!!

Brigadier General Keith Kerr challenges the GOP Debates on Don’t Ask / Don’t Tellhousefly

It’s obvious the “gay-military” issue is a boondoggle for the Republican party. They championed this bill under Clinton and tried to screw him with it and now it’s coming home to roost.

In today’s world, the GOP dives for cover under the United States military for advice on the issue as an excuse.

Republican Presidential Panty-Waist: “OH GAWD! I dunno? Gays and Lesbians handling the file cabinets? Oh crap!! I mean… They’re the ones who will have to decide to respect a fellow-American who’s in charge of “civil-engineering” the US military base’s commissary produce contracts!!

Watch Mitt Romney get booed. Watch John McCain salute the General!!

But best of all; watch Anderson Cooper recover after CNN staffers screw up the General’s microphone and his original message become obsolete within a matter of seconds.

Suburban Mom tells it like it should beFruitFly 6

Mrs. Hughes will discuss her son Scooter, Howard be Thy name and feeling personally responsible for Global Warming because of her own personal hot flashes.