The, ehem, “Lighter Side” of Conservative Republicans

Just a short photo-blog of what these “patriotic” conservative Americans think about our President, and our country. I think it will pull a tear out of your eye and compel you to stand up, put your hand over your heart and belt out “The Star Spangled Banner” at the top of your lungs.



Ah yes… Barack Obama and Adolf Hitler: the similarities are uncanny!!

I’m so old,I remember a day when you could disagree with the President of the United States, but you still respected the person and the position.  Does anybody remember a “Nixon, the New Face of Hitler” sign?  I’m trying to remember if I ever saw a sign that said: “The American Taxpayer are the Jews for Kennedy’s Ovens”!Adele: Make You Feel My Love

Republicans are disgusting.  And they still don’t understand why they’ve been booted out of office and their policies are irrelevant.  Go figure!

Lesbian’s Father Running for President of the United States (His Dirty Little Secret)

Maya Marcel-KeyesMaya Keyes probably wouldn’t appreciate that title so much. After all, it was her father on Feb 4, 2005, who kicked her into the streets without any money and no place to live after she came out of the closet as a lesbian. Err…, I meant “liberal queer lesbian“. Two weeks later on Valentines Day, Maya Marcel-Keyes stood in front of GLBT citizens in Annapolis, MD at a “Equality Maryland” rally and said:

“Things just came to a head. Liberal queer plus conservative Republican just doesn’t mesh well,” she said. “That was making my life a little bit turbulent.”

Yes, the picture you’re looking at is Maya who was homeless and penniless only two weeks earlier.

Her father, a Republican (of course), wouldn’t have anything to do with her and said the day before earlier:

“My daughter is an adult, and she is responsible for her own actions. What she chooses to do has nothing to do with my work or political activities.”

In 2004, while on the campaign trail competing for a US Senate seat in Illinois, Alan Keys was interviewed on the radio where he greedily discussed his hatred for homosexuality. Of Mary Cheney, the Vice President’s daughter who is a lesbian, Keyes called her a “selfish hedonist”. He went on with:

Then, without having been asked anything about his own family, [Keyes] volunteered that “if my daughter were a lesbian, I’d look at her and say, ‘That is a relationship that is based on selfish hedonism.’ I would also tell my daughter that it’s a sin and she needs to pray to the Lord God to help her deal with that sin.”

Maya’s coming out shouldn’t have been a surprise to her parents Alan and Jocelyn. They’d found gay newspapers under her bed during her teen years and they berated her about homosexuality. Keyes’ conversation on the radio was all a lie. He already knew his daughter was a lesbian!

Her parents have known that Maya is a lesbian since they found a copy of the Washington Blade, the gay weekly, in her room and confronted her at the end of high school (she went to Oakcrest School for Girls, a Catholic school in McLean run by the church’s highly devout Opus Dei movement.) Ever since, Maya says, her parents have told her that her sexuality is wrong and sinful.

“As long as I was quiet about being gay or my politics, we got along,” she says. “Then I went to the Counterinaugural,” last month’s protests in Washington against President Bush. “My father didn’t like that.”

If you’re really interested in Alan Keyes’ hatred view towards homosexuality, you can explore his “logic” on “Why homosexual couples adopting a child leads towards incest” by watching this:

(It’s truly stunning to see Arrogance, Stupidity and Idiocy all combined inside a suit and tie wrapper.)

Alan Keyes, the stalwart of the Republican Party and the pride of conservative American family values, made an appearance at the GOP Debates in December 2007. Having a podium of his own, it left everybody curious as to why he was even up there! Was he running? Was he serious about running?

Homophobic AssholesThe GOP always has made room for Hatred! There’s no such thing as “too much homophobia”! Of course Alan Keyes is running for president, Silly! Only this time, he’ll have to do it without Maya’s help.

  • Take notice of the cartoon of Bride and Bride getting married on his “official website”.
  • Now take notice of the first bullet line on his website? It’s an attack on Mitt Romney’s alleged direct involvement with gay marriage in Massachusetts.
  • Now the first sentence in the piece quotes Keyes by saying:

“Mitt Romney is single-handedly responsible for instituting same-sex marriage in Massachusetts.”

Using the same logic, Keyes goes on to explain his own stupidity:

“Most people are unaware of the way Massachusetts came to adopt same-sex marriage,” the former Reagan administration diplomat said. “They think the state’s Supreme Judicial Court forced it to happen. That’s incorrect.”

Said Keyes, “The court merely issued an opinion stating that, in its view, the existing marriage law was unconstitutional because it failed to allow persons of the same sex to marry. The court then gave the legislature 180 days to ‘take such action as it may deem appropriate in light of this opinion’ — implicitly telling lawmakers to come up with a new marriage statute.”

Obviously Willard Romney didn’t do enough during that 180-day window of time to fully satisfy the Very Honorable and extraordinarily Pompous Alan Keyes. Keyes completes his stupidity with this comment:

“This action by Mitt Romney is among the most socially-damaging actions by a chief executive in our nation’s history. Because of its far-reaching implications for the future of the traditional family, it threatens to destroy our entire moral and cultural fabric more than any other executive action I can think of.”

And here all these years, I thought it was bad grammar to end a sentence with a preposition.

That Gay Marriage in Massachusetts thing happened in May of 2004. And ya know… I don’t really see it destroying our entire moral and cultural fabric!!! What moral and cultural fabric has been destroyed after four and a half years’ time? If anybody can leave a comment with some ideas on what moral fabric has been destroyed as a direct result of gay marriage, I would certainly appreciate the heads up on that!!!

What do I admire the most about Alan Keyes? It’s the fact that on his MySpace account, he lists himself as a “Proud Parent” in the bio-section. You just can’t get hypocrisy any better than that.

FruitFlyI’m blaming Mark Karlin, Editor and Publisher of BuzzFlash.com for this story. It was his fault that I had to do all this work to write this story. Meanwhile, click on my picture for a cool little campaign song for Alan Keyes and his bid for President of the United States.

This Sucks: Cuban Gays considering to get legal same-sex recognition

The Commies in Havana are considering giving more rights to their same-sex couples than we offer here in the United States. Comparatively speaking; the Republicans have managed to limit almost any rights for gays and lesbians here in the “Land of the Marginally Free and the Not So Brave”.Living in a free world

Which begs the question: Is it better to live in a socialist or even communist state than it is to live in a land dictated by the GOP?

Okay, let’s tally up a review of countries that allow same-sex marriage. A trip over to Wikidom and this is what we find:

  • The Netherlands
  • Spain
  • Canada
  • Belgium

Damned Canadians…

…And the Belgians too!! Have you seen what those Belgian girls look like?!! Ugh!! The Republicans routinely blast the stupid theory that if we allow same-sex marriage; how long before people will be wanting to marry their cow, their dog or perhaps their favorite chicken? Now you have a land famous for waffles, Belgian workhorses and ugly chicks and you throw in same-sex marriages…!? That’s a classic disaster waiting to happen if you’re a Republican. And yet, we’re still waiting to hear someone who’d rather marry their favorite horse in exchange of a fine looking Belgian lass holding a short-stack smothered with real maple syrup. So much for that stupid Republican theory about Man-On-Marmoset Rights thing.

Iran HomosexualsIsrael recognizes same-sex unions performed in other countries too. However it’s still illegal to perform same-sex civil unions (for now). But just you watch; it won’t be long before the Israelis are reminded that the gays and lesbians were murdered and tortured during the Holocaust just as the Jews were. POOF!! The Israeli Knesset will dole out full-blown same-sex civil rights faster than Yentl could slobber down a bowlful of Kreplach soup on any given night during Yom Kippur.

The Canadians and the Spanish both have laws where same-sex marriages have all of the same set of rights as their hetero-coupled neighbors.

…Damned Canadians. Sheeshe!

Civil Unions, Civil partnerships, domestic partnerships, unregistered partnerships or registered partnerships are available in the following countries not controlled or out of reach from control of the GOP:

  • Andorra
  • Columbia
  • Croatia
  • Czech Republic
  • Denmark
  • Finland
  • France
  • Germany
  • Hungary
  • Iceland
  • Israel
  • Luxembourg
  • New Zealand
  • Norway
  • Portugal
  • Slovenia
  • South Africa
  • Sweden
  • Switzerland
  • United Kingdom
  • …Parts of Argentina
  • Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)
  • Mexico
  • Uruguay

Columbia?!! Uruguay?! ..And Argentina? Freakin half of South America gets more rights and respect to their GLBT citizens than they do here!! I have a better chance hooking up with a gaucho from La Paz, Argentina than I have in La Paz, Texas. …And we’d have more rights in Argentina!Giuliani Kerik

Think about it: You can buy a line of blow from a man in Columbia and have a civil-union ceremony with him and have more legal rights than you would if you were in Fucking-Florida. Because if you’re gay in Florida, you can’t even adopt an orphaned child.

Now I had to look up Andorra since I’m not up on my Euro-Trash geography. This country is about the size of an Eisenhower dollar on the border between France and Spain. Andorrans, surprisingly have the longest life expectancy throughout the known world. I can marry my Star Trekkie husband in Andorra and truly “live long and prosper”. And we won’t have any “God Hates Fags” protests marching outside our funeral services. Good bye Republicans…Make room, Andorra!

Here in the United States; the following have registered same-sex partnerships on the books:

  • California
  • Connecticut
  • Hawaii
  • Maine
  • New Hampshire
  • New Jersey
  • Oregon (delays)
  • Vermont
  • Washington
  • District of Columbia

In the land Down Under: Australia’s laws are completely insane. But built-in provisions between states, territories and council areas have same-sex registry systems for:

  • Sydney
  • Melbourne
  • Tasmania
  • Victoria

Unregistered same-sex couples have rights in:

  • Queensland
  • South Australia
  • Northern Territory
  • Norfolk Island
  • Western Australia
  • Australian Capital Territory
  • New South Wales

As far as I’ve heard; there hasn’t been one single marriage request for an Aussie to marry his favorite koala, ostrich or platypus. However, I did hear about some Aussie lesbian who tried to get her freaky on with a kangaroo! She was about 37, dishwater blond hair…smallish boobs…. Face it: That GOP shit about marrying your goat is crap and Americans are stupid enough to believe them.

Same sex-couples in Sweden and Iceland both get nearly everything identical to their heterosexual neighbors enjoy. But there’s an added bonus to be in a gay relationship if you hail from the land of lingonberries and Bjork:

…Partnership laws are short laws that state that wherever the word “marriage” appears in the country’s law will now also be construed to mean “registered partnership” and wherever the word “spouse” appears will now also be construed to mean “registered partner” – thereby transferring the body of marriage laws onto same-sex couples in registered partnerships. In these countries, registered partnerships are generally called marriage in daily speech.

Civil Partnerships in United Kingdom and Civil Unions in New Zealand have identical legal status to (heterosexual) marriages. These same sex-couples enjoy the same rights including tax exemptions, joint property rights as well as next-of-kin status and shared parenting responsibilities. As far as I’ve been told: There have been no immediate spike in the price of lamb chops or mutton since all of these “gay rights” have become available in these countries.

So I’ll ask the question again: Is it better to live in a socialist or even communist state than it is to live in a land dictated by the GOP? Is worrying about some idiot marrying their parakeet really seem that likely to you? Does it seem logical enough for someone who claims to live in a country that brags about “freedom”?FruitFly

Now we can throw in the Commies in Cuba on the list of countries where the gays and lesbians have equal rights and the United States doesn’t. Countries where most folks have never heard of give more respect to their gay and lesbian citizens than we do here in the U.S. And at the mere mention of gay and lesbian civil recognition… and the GOP ‘s Hate Machine goes into full-tilt and fear and loathing is spread throughout the community.

…Damned Cubans. Fucking Republicans…

Update:

Al Gore has just published his “Opinion” on CurrenTV which was picked up on Pams House Blend. Although I loves me some Al Gore, no doubt there’s someone out there who’ll falsely claim Al Gore invented Gay Marriage.

Mitt Romney: Homosexuals are sub-human degenerates

I saw it on Kos… So it must be true.

MittRomney Bigotry

mosquito Why does Romney tolerate bigotry?!?

 

Thoughts about Michele Bachmann and Adolf Hitler

mexican fruit fliesAs you may already know, I have made a few statements about my feelings toward Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN 6th CD) and the rest of her ilk in relation to their homophobia towards gay and lesbian folk. Many of you have made these wild and crazy accusations of what I have said about her. While others have taken what I’ve said wildly out of context.houseflyThis is wrong and each of you should be ashamed of yourself. (Not really…I’m just kidding.)

I have found a way to rectify the situation: I decided to fire my former Chief of Staff. I needed a Chief of Staff who knew how to articulate exactly how I felt about Congresswoman Bachmann over the past year and her tenure as a state senator. Consequently, I’ve hired Ms. Joolee Kwist to be my new Chief of Staff and I’ve asked her to produce a few press statements. Hopefully, this will help understand exactly how I feel about Congresswoman Bachmann and her feelings of hatred towards the GLBT community.

Please remember that if you’re looking for further clarification of my views, you will need to be in contact with my Chief from now on.

Joolee Kwist’s first statement to the public:cockroach

As I stated earlier, in spite of the offense you take at what the Fruit Fly says and believes, you need to be accurate in your accusations, because many people do distinguish between saying a person is “from Hitler” or identifying homophobia as “from Hitler.”

The Fly said, as you quote, “It’s part of Hitler I think to say that this is “homophobic”. It’s anything but homophobic.”

Those words do not say that Bachmann is Hitler, nor do any of the other numerous quotes that you posted.

Hitler, however, is the father of Homophobia.

Joolee Kwist

HUGE improvement from my former Chief of Staff, don’t you think?!

HUGE!Black Garbage Fly

Most articulate in her word-choic… Well, I don’t need to prattle on. Christ knows, if I brag about her being able to exact my feelings about Congresswoman Bachmann’s homophobic attitudes towards gay people, she’ll be expecting a pay raise or something.

I don’t know about you…but I think Kwist is fuckin’ brilliant.

Here’s Ms. Kwist’s second Press Release. It’s even better than her first one. I hope you like it.

I want to set the record “straight” on Fruit Fly’s comments at the 2004 FlyWatch conference that you referred to here. Go back and listen to that again, and you will find that “the Fly” does not say that “being homophobic is like being ‘part of Hitler.’ I have the same tape you have, whoever you are… What Fly is discussing there is the terminology of “homophobia” being used to describe people who are assholes and hate gay people. The Fruit Fly says that the description of hatred-of-gays is “homophobic”, and that hatred is what comes from Hitler.

Get the difference? Homophobes are not from Hitler. Hitler, however, is the father of homophobia.

You may find both statements equally offensive. You need to be accurate, however, in your accusations, because many people do distinguish between saying a person is “from Hitler” or identifying homophobia as “from Hitler.”

I know the Fruit Fly personally, and I will testify to you that “The Fly” harbors no hatred toward Congresswoman Bachmann or to others with whom The Fly has deep differences. Far from it. The Fruit Fly would not make a statement that she or any others with whom she associates are “from Hitler,” much as The Fly would dispute your actions and ideas.

Joolee Kwistmosquito

She’s a treasure, ain’t she?! I mean, how brilliant was all of that?!

If I had to pick, lessee…um, Emily Brontë, Robert Frost and um…Alfred Lord Tennyson or Kwist? Who would you pick? You’d pick Kwist, right? You know it would be Kwist, hands down, no shit. She’s the real-deal.

FruitFlySeriously. I could spend a lifetime looking for a talent like that. On one hand, we have that Writers Strike going on in Los Angeles and finding a good writer is already hard to come by. And here I bump into this little treasure… <sigh> She’s a Keeper!!!

Inspired by dumpBachmann’s latest.

Huckabee Threatens Civilization

Actually, I lied in the title. The real title of today’s Special is:

Huckabee warns gay marriage threatens civilizationSt Huck

Mike Huckabee has already begun to ramp-up the Konservative Kristian Koalition rhetoric with his “Let’s Hate The Gay Families” crap. Now that he’s attracted the attention of the religiously insane, a.k.a. “The Xtians” in his bid for GOP Presidency.

Leave it to the Evangelicals to suck off the scum that settles to the bottom.

Said the Governor:

“You have to have a basic family structure. There’s never been a civilization that has rewritten what marriage and family means and survived.”

Really?! Is that true? Really? Or is that just another religious jihadist tub thumping stupid rhetoric with a penchant for pretending that he’s an “expert” on something while secretly hoping nobody discovers he’s actually a complete buffoon?

…Ooooo!! Here’s a tidbit of “re-writing” the concept of marriage what the word “family” means; Divorce Rate America!! According to them:

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

Now there’s some re-writing of the definition of “marriage” and “family values”!! I sure hope our civilization survives with all of that “re-writing” of marriage and families in divorce courts everywhere!

Huckleberry continues nonchalantly:Huckleberry Hound

“So there is a sense in which, you know, it’s one thing to say if people want to live a different way, that’s their business. But when you want to redefine what family means or what marriage means, then that’s an issue that should require some serious and significant debate in the public square.”

So, if you want to commit adultery or have children out of wedlock, or even pay your male prostitute extra so he’ll pick up some really high grade methamphetamine for your next visit, you can do so in private. But… if I want to be able to legally marry my life-partner, that requires a “serious” and “significant” debate in the public square?!

You know… What seriously needs to be discussed in the public square with some very significant debate is: Why did Governor Mike Huckabee encourage an Arkansas parole board to release serial rapist Wayne Dumond? …Even after several of his victims urged him to move on and ignore the predator! Because after if ever there was an attempt to destroy civilization, it’s when crazed maniacal politicians let bat-shit crazy people out of jail who run out and kill other peoples’ mommies after violently raping them.

huckleberry hound 2He babbles on by proving that he’s full of shit…

Huckabee scoffed at the claim that gay couples need legal recognition to visit one another in hospitals and nursing homes, saying that was achievable through power of attorney documents.

Gov. Mike Huckabee lives in a clueless world. Let me tellya…he’s an idiot. No really, he’s nothing but an idiot. Seriously, he’s an idiot. I’m not kidding! He’s a big fat idiot!

If he had a brain, he’d take the time out to read HRC’s 2007 Healthcare Equality Index. The PDF discusses at length the problems and the successes of GLBT couples involved with hospitalization. But he won’t. He’s far too busy stumping for votes for spiritually-dead voters who’ve been brainwashed in thinking that God hates “the Gays”. (If you encounter these kinds of people, please don’t draw any attention to their What Would Jesus Do?” bracelet… It only makes them nervous and feel a tiny pin-prick of hypocrisy.)

While he’s out there babbling his hatred for gays, gay marriage and the mythical destruction of institutions such as marriage and family… Check out Huckleberry in Des Moines on Tuesday in a conversation about the newly released NIE report that was released the day before.

Kuhn: I don’t know to what extent you have been briefed or been able to take a look at the NIE report that came out yesterday …

Huckabee: I’m sorry?

Kuhn: The NIE report, the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran. Have you been briefed or been able to take a look at it —

Huckabee: No.

Kuhn: Have you heard of the finding?

Huckabee: No.

Kuhn then summarized the NIE finding that Iran had stopped work on a clandestine nuclear program four years ago.

SheepleYup! There’s one very proud candidate to represent sheeple of our society. They’ll follow after drug addicts, suck on the teat of Jewish homophobes, they’ll even hand their children over to pompous religious zealots who will teach them to huddle around cardboard cutouts of George W. Bush and pray they’ll be chosen to go to war for him. Huckleberry will gladly hate the gays and remain clueless on the most recent current events.

It appears that he’s a perfect candidate for the religiously insane!

So where’s the threat to the American family? Is the threat coming from a gay couple who lives at the other end of your block? Perhaps the threat is coming from that lesbian couple who came to visit your church last Sunday?! Perhaps the true threat to civilization is a religious idiot fromFruitFly 6 Arkansas who’s hoping to be the next President of the United States and so he can prove to you how much God hates all of us because we’re not “perfect like him”.

I’m just sayin’.