Into the Political Wilderness…

My favorite Republican propagandist, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, has an interesting piece in today’s Opinion section by prominent Republicans Christine Todd Whitman and Robert M. Bostock. Titled “Republicans fail to hold the center“, it’s the sub-title that has the larger messasge: “The party is locked in the grip of fundamentalists, and it’s in denial about that.”

Four years ago, in the week after the 2004 presidential election, we were working furiously to put the finishing touches on the book we coauthored, “It’s My Party Too: The Battle for the Heart of the GOP and the Future of America.”

Our central thesis was simple: The Republican Party had been taken hostage by “social fundamentalists,” the people who base their votes on such social issues as abortion, gay rights and stem-cell research. Unless the GOP freed itself from their grip, we argued, it would so alienate itself from the broad center of the American electorate that it would become increasingly marginalized and find itself out of power.

Now I know nothing about this book they claim they wrote. Flatly put; “If it came from Republican activists from within their own party, I have very little interest in reading it.” Close minded? Perhaps, but our society has been drowning in Republican ideologue, philosophy and nabobs wagging their fingers at television cameras. Why bother giving them money by buying a book that more than likely will tell me what I already know: “Liberals” = “Bad”, “War on Christmas” = “Fox News”, “Karl Rove” = “Boy Genius”.
But this piece has substance. The authors points out their caution to the Republican Party’s focus on the evangelical voter and essentially kicked out the social moderates.

At the time, this idea was roundly attacked by many who were convinced that holding on to the “base” at all costs was the way to go. A former speechwriter for President Bush, Matthew Scully, who went on to work for the McCain campaign this year, called the book “airy blather” and said its argument fell somewhere between “insufferable snobbery” and “complete cluelessness.” Gary Bauer suggested that the book sounded as if it came from a “Michael Moore radical.” The National Review said its warnings were “at best, counterintuitive,” and Ann Coulter said the book was “based on conventional wisdom that is now known to be false.”

Wow! Ann Coulter was wrong on something?! I always thought she was never wrong on anything! Like, when she couldn’t talk about John Edwards “because you have to go into rehab if you use the word “faggot“, I was actually disappointed when it was revealed he was screwing some woman in a hotel room! Coulter wasn’t wrong, you see. She was just, ummm…Ahh…. Lemme get back to you on that.

The piece throws out some interesting facts:

  1. In seven of the nine states that switched this year from Republican to Democratic, Obama’s vote total exceeded the total won by Bush four years ago. So even if McCain had equaled the president’s numbers from 2004 (and he did not), he still would have lost in Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Nevada, New Mexico, North Carolina and Virginia (81 total electoral votes) — and would have lost the election. McCain didn’t lose those states because he failed to hold the base. He lost them because Obama broadened his base.
  2. Nor did the Republican ticket lose because “values voters” stayed home. On the contrary, according to exit polls, such voters made up a larger proportion of the electorate this year than in 2004 — 26 percent, up from 23 percent. Extrapolating from those data, McCain actually won more votes from self-identified white evangelical/born-again voters than Bush did four years ago — 1.8 million more. But that was not enough to offset the loss of so many moderates.
  3. In the wake of the Democrats’ landslide victory, …many in the GOP are arguing that John McCain was defeated because the social fundamentalists wouldn’t support him. They seem to be suffering from a political strain of Stockholm syndrome. They are identifying with the interests of their political captors and ignoring the views of the larger electorate. This has cost the Republican Party the votes of millions of people who don’t find a willingness to acquiesce to hostage-takers a positive trait in potential leaders.
  4. Unless the Republican Party ends its self-imposed captivity to social fundamentalists, it will spend a long time in the political wilderness. On Nov. 4, the American people very clearly rejected the politics of demonization and division. It’s long past time for the GOP to do the same.

This last point was bulleted by Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama on Meet The Press. Powell complained that the Republican Party wasn’t working to be inclusive of social moderates.

To that endorsement as well as Powell’s complaint about the GOP:

Rush Limbaugh:

“Secretary Powell says his endorsement is not about race… OK, fine. I am now researching his past endorsements to see if I can find all the inexperienced, very liberal, white candidates he has endorsed. I’ll let you know what I come up with.”

Pat Buchanan:

“Alright, we gotta ask a question,” he declared on MSNBC, “look would Colin Powell be endorsing Obama if he were a white liberal Democrat…”

George F. Will:

And I think this adds to my calculation — this is very hard to measure — but it seems to me if we had the tools to measure we’d find that Barack Obama gets two votes because he’s black for every one he loses because he’s black because so much of this country is so eager, a, to feel good about itself by doing this, but more than that to put paid to the whole Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson game of political rhetoric.”

Dan Billings, a prominent Republican and attorney from Maine, went out on a limb:

“If Obama was a white man, Powell would not have made the endorsement.”

When Colin Powell endorsed Obama, the GOP played the racism card, proving their own snobbery and elitism.

To the Goof-Ball Citizenry of the GOP:

Welcome to the Wilderness!

Gay rights needs to be included in the Republican Party, whether they like it or not. Duh! Abortion rights needs to be included in the Republican Party, whether they like it or not! (Continual picking on South Dakota doesn’t seem to be effective – Duh!) Equal pay for women needs to be included in the Republican Party. Duh! Stop shipping jobs to India, Mexico and Canada. Duh! Universal health care with no strings attached! Duh!

But they won’t.

Their party platform has become a blank-slate.

  • Reaganomics is dead. Believing in Reagan’s theory “The Government Isn’t Party of the Problem, The Government Is the Problem!” cost the American people collapsed bridges in Minneapolis, radiator fluid in toothpaste and lead paint on children’s toys.
  • Their political tactic of “Divide and Fear” is dead. What was extremely effective in the 2004 re-election of George W., fell horribly this time around. Their fear mongering this time around was almost comical.
  • The “Family Values” ideology is dead. Playing that card with Obama and his family along with Joe Biden and his family compared to John McCain disgusting story about adultery and his second wife and Sarah Palin’s own illicit affair just didn’t add up.
  • “Deregulation and a “Free Market” system” is dead. When John McCain’s senior level adviser, former Senator Phil Gramm, wrote the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act in 1999, the last and most notorious banking deregulation laws, has cost the American taxpayer $700 Billion.

Put simply: The Republican Party is dead.

Finally.

But I’m not one to gloat.

Well..maybe just a little bit.

Huckleberry and Obama wins: Iowa Caucus Totals Coming In Now

Caucus RoomFrom CNN, 6 minutes ago:

With 76 percent of precincts reporting, Obama had the support of 36 percent of voters, compared to 31 percent for Edwards and 30 percent for Clinton.

With 41 percent of Republican precincts reporting, Huckabee had the support of 31 percent of voters, compared to 23 percent for Mitt Romney. Fred Thompson had 13 percent and John McCain had 12.

Rudy Giuliani, who has turned the focus of his campaign to the February 5 “Super Tuesday” primaries, trailed with 11 percent.

Think Progress is reporting from Politicalticker a survey the notes who’s showing up to vote for Huckleberry Hound:

On the Republican side, “nearly 75 percent are over the age of 45. There are slightly more men than women.” Approximately 60 percent identify themselves as evangelical Christians. Immigration is the top issue.

Why are we not surprised? Republicans are so disgusted, they’re staying home. The nursing homes everywhere throughout Iowa are empty and they’re voting with their Bibles instead of their noggins.

The Democrats are showing up in droves. MSNBC, via Obama’s blog pages are reporting that young people are appearing in stunning numbers.

Senator Barack Obama : 35.09%Clinton Wince
Senator John Edwards : 31.16%
Senator Hillary Clinton : 30.89%
Governor Bill Richardson : 1.78%
Senator Joe Biden : 0.94%
Uncommitted : 0.11%
Senator Chris Dodd : 0.03%
Precincts Reporting: 1247 of 1781

Bill Richardson should go home immediately and begin his election campaign for US Senate to replace Pete Domenici’s vacancy. Biden and Dodd should get a manicure and a haircut and look forward to getting a phone call from Obama or Edwards to run as their Veep.FruitFly

Tim Russert on MSNBC just reported that some 50% of those showing up to caucus for the Democrats were doing it for the first time in their lives. And, an overwhelming amount of those who did show up, when asked if they did because of the “War in Iraq” or for “Change”: an overwhelming majority said they were there because they wanted Change. Russrt also noted that this is the same Iowa who voted for Bush in ’04.

Fruit Fly News: Who is Joey Oglesby?

Laura Bush SmokesHello, and welcome to Fruit Fly News. My name is Frizze McBee.

Today, President Bush has increased troop levels in Iraq to an additional 3 million Americans. Calling it a “surge”, the President has stated; “Defeat is not an option, ‘cut and run’ is also not an option, and since nobody else has come up with a better option; it’s obvious that my ‘surge’ is the only viable option.”

Monkey SurgeDavid Gregory, from a less informative news channel called NBC, corrected the President’s suggestion that nobody else has come up with “a Plan” for Iraq. Mr. Gregory said;

“Mr. President, that’s patently untrue! The Democrats have produced a plan. In fact, Senators Joe Biden and Jack Reed have produced a plan as well as Congressman Jack Murtha! Senator Biden, as a matter of fact, has written extensively on the subject. Have you even looked at their plans?

President Bush cut him off and whined; “But I’m the Decisioner! And if I say there ain’t another plan out there: Then there truly is no other plan.

Joe BooshMr. Gregory, attempting to sound like a professional journalist was about to counter the President’s interruption when Senator Joe Lieberman suddenly appeared from behind President Bush looking disheveled and seemed to try and help the President pull his trousers back up. Senator Leibermann then turned to Mr. Gregory and said;

The other alternatives–the main alternative that the opponents of what the President has done are offering is to simply begin to withdraw. And the theory there is that somehow if you with– I mean some people want to withdraw because they just want to get out. They think the thing–They want to give up. They think the thing is not winnable. I’m afraid they don’t agree with me that the consequences of pulling out would be a disaster for everybody, including most important, us. But some say if you begin to withdraw, then Maliki and the other Iraqis will say ‘Oh, my God, they’re leaving. We got to get our act together. I don’t think so. I think what is more likely is that the Iraqi politicians will begin to hedge their bets, and the militias and the Al Qaeda terrorists will just hold back until the day we’re gone, and then chaos will break out, and unfortunately as McCain says, we’ll probably be back there in a larger war, you know, two, three, four, five years from now. I think this is our chance, so I’d guess I’d say to you in war–There’s a famous old saying that war is a series of catastrophes that ends up in victory for one side, and right now I’d say this plan is the best next step we’ve got. Let’s hope it works, pray it works, and if it doesn’t, then we’ll figure out what we’re gonna do then.

The Senator then dipped behind the President again, this time amid a flurry of kissing sounds.

In other news, the term “faggot” has become a media favorite for conservatives. With origins going back to the time of the witchcraft trials in the early 1200’s in Europe, usage of the derogatory term to reference gay and lesbians has become again for conservative pundits like Glenn Beck on CNN Headline News. In an odd turn of hypocracy, CNN allowed the usage of the derogatory name without hesitation, and yet – when Bill Mahr mentions that Ken Mehlman on Larry King Live, former chairman of the Republican National Convention might be gayCNN edited the transcript, the video which re-aired later in the week, removed the video from YouTube and sent out legal briefs to anybody who carried the uncensored version on their websites.

The word has become popular with “Jesus People” as well! Donnie Davies, a self-described “former homosexual” and “minister”, recently came out with a lively little tune about how much God’s love is regulated only to those who aren’t “a faggot”. According to Davies’ song, God hates faggots, and let’s face it: “It’s only a choice anyway”. Davies recorded the song made a video to go along with the song, and then uploaded it to YouTube, MySpace and Google Video. All three removed the video immediately, while YouTube has many spoofs of the original now posted in its place. Current TV, who’s parent corporation is Google, has run a pod-cast of their take on Donnie Davies, including information that you might not even know!

SimpsonsIn a historic moment heard around the world, Jesus Christ appeared in front of Donnie Davies and kicked his ass. Violence has broke out all over the world as a result, with people buying “What Would Jesus Do” bracelets and then beating up the clerk who rang up the purchase.

Last Saturday (Jan 27, 2007), Goddess-extrodinaire Pam of Pams House Blend discovered that Donnie Davies is not only a homophobe and an idiot, but he’s also an actor from the Dallas/Ft Worth metropolitan area. JoeyJoel Oglesby Oglesby has appeard on stage in shows like “Debbie Does Dallas, the Musical” and a comedy sketch troupe called “Chicken & Pickles Guys”. Obviously, these are shows that promote heterosexual lifestyles as “wonderful” if not a bit “fabulous”. *

On Friday (Jan 26th) the actor Joey Oglesby playing the part of Donnie Davies appeared again on YouTube to point out the pain he’s endured because people have laughed at him for being overweight. The short video opens with him talking excitedly about all of the attention his “God Hates a Fag” video has gotten and complains bitterly that it’s been removed from all of the popular video-websites. He then gets seriously upset because people have made fun of his weight. He finishes with jubilation on the love of Jesus Christ and says; “…But God hates you”.

No word yet whether Jesus Christ has re-appeared to kick his ass all over again.

Since the days of then House Majority Leader Dick Army called Congressman Barney Frank, “Barney Fag” on a radio show in 1995, conservatives have picked up on the word as media-magnet to attract attention to themselves. CNN isn’t alone in the debacle either. MSNBC enjoys the word so much, Chris Matthews pumped-up his penil implant when Ann Coulter said on his show that Al Gore was “a total fag” in July 06. Matthews, with his three inch puptent showing, excitedly promised his viewers to have her on the show again.

Bush and DickExpecting a word of caution to come from “Dr” Laura Schlessinger to point out what happened when she called gays and lesbians a “biological error”, nothing has been heard from her or her Rabbi.

That’s all there is for Fruit Fly News. We thank you for tuning in! My name is Frizzie McBee, good night!

* Fruit Fly News network has tried to contact Pam at Pams House Blend to get her the unedited and uncensored version of the video that hasn’t been ripped down. However, her system requires that we “open an account” to even speak on her blog. Since there are so many accounts created already, one would simply give up and let her find it on her own.