Bartcop Is Wrong: There, I said it!

bartcopper I started reading Bartcop back in 1998. A friend of mine emailed me the link while I was working on a major computer network project at the University of Minnesota. After ten years of Bartcop, I’ll proudly claim my “expert” pin and I’ll have me another Chinaco Anejo thank you very much.

Anybody who’s read Bartcop knows he’s stuck with President Clinton through the thick and the thin. All of us “Bartcoppers” did. We still fail to understand how a sexual encounter with a small town whore warrants impeachment. Especially when President Bush can lie to the American people about Weapons of Mass Destruction, produce counterfeited material to the UN Security Counsel and still manages to get a free pass from the Democrats.

Bart’s been a relentless loyal Clintonite and all of us wish a return to the days of a balanced budget, low unemployment and a $200 Quadrillion budget surplus. And for that alone, I salute him.

But for Bart, it’s an all-or-nothing approach. During this Primary and Caucus Election season, Bart’s been shooting blanks at those who are supporting Barack Obama. And to me, that’s just plain crap. Especially if he’s going to throw out this kind of trash:

GOP Bloggers for Obama

Excerpt:
For the next month or so, the conservative valentines will arrive every day at Obama HQ. His image will be illuminated by the bipartisan aura of admiration from prominent Republican commentators and strategists, as they savor the promise of his victory over Hillary, long the object of their hatred. He may well imagine that they really like him – and surely some of them do, at least for now.

William Kristol wants superdelegates to do “the good deed” of pledging their ballots to him,
George Will urges Democrats to choose him as “the party’s most potentially potent nominee,”
Peggy Noonan promises that he will be “bulletproof” against Republican attack.

Yet somehow, the Obamaniax refuse to address those questions – why?
Why can’t they see the trap the GOP bastards are setting?
Worse, why can’t they see it AFTER we point it out to them?

Answer:
They don’t want to see it, don’t want to hear it – they want to pretend it’s not there.
The “don’t want to see it, don’t want to hear it” Democrats are gambling with America’s future.

Are we OK with that?

LemmingsBart’s making the case that GOP media whores like Bill Kristol, George Will and Peggy Noonan who’ve thrown their support for Barack Obama should be a clear sign that the GOP an obvious trap set. Apparently, Barack Obama supporters are far too stupid for Old Bart because they — “don’t want to see it, don’t want to hear it”. Obamaniax are apparently far too immature to pretend that [the alleged GOP-trap] doesn’t exist. Of course, Obamaniax are simple blind Lemmings who’re willing to “gambling with America’s future“!! …Frittering away the old Red, White and Blue..!

Well, that claim is nothing short of reckless (let alone unwarranted). Because if I had to think of a Republican who uses Fear Tactics to push a politcal agenda, who would come to mind? What famous American uses his State of the Union Speeches to sell Fear and Terrorism in his politics?! Hrmmmm….

If Old Bartcop’s logic held true, wouldn’t supporting the GOP support for Hillary Clinton be a much bigger problem for all of us?Coulter

  • Ann Coulter has endsored Hillary Clinton. The Borg Queen of All Whores endorsement is obvious: Coulter’s sales for her collected works of “Slime and Sludge” are way down. Get the Clinton’s back into the Oval Office so more trees can be chopped down and be turned into four more years of NYT bestsellers for “The Man” Coulter.
  • Rupert Murdoch, CEO of Everything Faux, has held huge fund-raisers for Hillary Clinton. Never mind the ethics behind something like that; but does she really have to snuggle up to that Old Goat for a Sugar Daddy? He endorsed Clinton back in November 06 by the way. If that doesn’t tell you something about the GOP and Hillary being their political “meat puppet”, I don’t know what will!
  • Andrew Sullivan, he’s gay and a long standing ultra-conservative; and even Andy has gone out to call for conservatives to endorse Hillary. Andy in fact, goes out of his way to note that Hillary’s more conservative than any of those on the GOP ticket!
  • The New York Whore Times editorial board has endorsed Hillary. If ever there was a GOP funded editorial board, it’s been the New York Times!! How many times has Bart called the Times “media whores”?!” Can anybody get me that spreadsheet?!

But then comes along Bart’s old and wise “Oracle”: Marc Perkel.

Perkel, claiming to be “The most dangerous minds on the Internet”, is really not much more than a generic blow-hard with a chip on his shoulder about everything except himself (and his best buddy Bart, of course). But Perkel does serve a benefit: He’s not all bad. On the rare occasion he’ll stumble down from “Mount Attitude” looking like a drunken debutante and puke up something like this:

Subject: Some Democrats sound like Republicans

Obama supporters are making a serious mistake talking about the Clintons
the way Republicans talk about them. The last time Democrats talked about the Clintons that way was 1994.

Democrats in Congress were convinced by the news media that the Clintons were poison. The Democrats fell for it and distanced themselves. We all know what happened then. The Democrats lost Congress to the Republicans for the next 12 years.

If Obama supporters keep this up he may win the primary, but he’s not going to win the general election. When Democrats talk like Republicans, Republicans win.

Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.

(Highlights are mind… Lovely, aren’t they?)

Ahh yes. It’s obvious Marc Perkel’s crystal ball is in fine working order! What makes him think that Obama won’t win the General Election? Better question: “Why is Hillary a guaranteed win in the General Election while Obama is apparently a guaranteed loss?”perkel butt-plug

“Hey Perkel; thanks for thinkin’ like a “Liberal Democrat” Dude!!
From now on, when we need an opinion from a Butt-Plug like you; we’ll text-message you!!”
BTE ME A@@HLE!

In fact, the very reason we shouldn’t vote for Hillary is because it’s having an odd affect on the Republican voters out there. The more momentum Barack Obama gets, the less interested the GOP voters are out there who’ll vote against her!

Last Sunday on Meet the Press, Robert Novak of über-media whore fame admitted live on television to writing these words:

“Amid the exciting windup of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination and the mop-up of the Republican contest, the reality is that 2008 shapes up as a very bad year for the GOP. The fact that the Democratic turnout in yesterday’s Virginia primary was double the Republican reflects the larger, more boisterous Democratic rallies from Iowa to the Potomac primaries. The pessimism and gloom in the business community is particularly pronounced.”

“Adding to the dark mood among Republicans is the increasing prospect that they will not be able to bolster their morale by running against the detested Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.). Her unification of Republicans has been one of the few GOP assets going into the campaign. It will take time and effort to work up a passion against the likable Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) no matter how leftist he really is.”

The transcript of the dialogue is available on MSNBC servers here. Highlights are still, fabulously mine.

Novak makes a valid point. The GOP “Hate Machine” has been as well oiled as long as Hillary’s election campaign. They’ve been expecting Hillary and they’ve surmised her every move. GoebblesWhile Hillary was picking her election campaign’s captains and colonels as far back as 2000 and 2004, the GOP was busy grooming their own “Joseph Goebbels” throughout the media empire. Unthinking that there might be an alternate candidate for the Dems, the GOP became severely handicapped: All that grooming was wasted.

Novak isn’t alone in that thinking (so I know I’m my bottle of Anejo isn’t empty, yet). Last Wednesday, the Cincinnati Enquirer wrote a piece called Ohio GOP roots for Hillary:

One of the worst-kept secrets of the Ohio presidential primary is that Republican party leaders have a candidate they are rooting for on the Democratic side.

Her name is Hillary Clinton, and they believe that if she wins the Ohio primary and goes on to become the Democratic nominee, she will be the one who unites their dispirited and divided party and give them their best chance of keeping the White House this fall.

It is a belief that the Clinton campaign says is wrong-headed and they will campaign across the state for the next three weeks making the argument that their battle-tested, experienced candidate is the only one who can go toe-to-toe with John McCain, the presumptive GOP nominee this fall.

The Devil can be found in the third paragraph. The Clinton campaign plays defense for Ohio Republicans hatred toward her! And that makes Bartcop wrong.

Bart whines about stories like these. Even if the Press is supporting Hillary Clinton’s campaign for President. In fact, Bart will grab any lame-brained excuse to whine about Clinton being poorly treated and patently ignores it when the Press unfairly portrays Barack Obama.

Ladies and Gays (and str8 dudes too)!! …I give you Paul Krugman in piece called “Hate Springs Eternal“:

Excerpt:
I won’t try for fake evenhandedness here: most of the venom I see is coming from supporters of Mr. Obama, who want their hero or nobody. I’m not the first to point out that the Obama campaign seems dangerously close to becoming a cult of personality. We’ve already had that from the Bush administration – remember Operation Flight Suit? We really don’t want to go there again.

What’s particularly saddening is the way many Obama supporters seem happy with the application of “Clinton rules” – which means the way some news organization treat any action or statement by the Clintons, no matter how innocuous, as proof of evil intent.

Hmmm, some news organizations?

That would be FOX News, CNN, CBS, NBC, ABC, NYWhore Times, atombomb WaHoPo, DailyKos, Air America Radio, TIME, NEWSWEEK, Meet the Whore, Face the Whore, This Whore, Consortiumnews, Huffingtonpost (I can’t begin to list them all) and most every “liberal” web site.

And he means that “mind-reading” I’ve been talking about.

KOA(Yes, you caught that too? Even though the NY Times has thrown their endorsement into Hillary’s KOA and not into Obama’s, McCain’s or Huckabee’s: Bart will still hate the Times and call them “A Whore”because it’s easy and a cheap-shot. He’ll even whine about those media sources who are friendly to his cause, if it’ll keep Bartcop on the radar-screen.)

Now a look at Charles Krauthammer one week later who ran this piece called “The Audacity of Selling Hope“:

ABC’s Jake Tapper notes the “Helter-Skelter cult-ish qualities” of “Obama worshipers,” what Joel Stein of the Los Angeles Times calls “the Cult of Obama.” Obama’s Super Tuesday victory speech was a classic of the genre. Its effect was electric, eliciting a rhythmic fervor in the audience — to such rhetorical nonsense as “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. (Cheers, applause.) We are the change that we seek.”

That was too much for Time’s Joe Klein. “There was something just a wee bit creepy about the mass messianism,” he wrote. “The message is becoming dangerously self-referential. The Obama campaign all too often is about how wonderful the Obama campaign is.”

You might dismiss as hyperbole the complaint by the New York Times‘s Paul Krugman that “the Obama campaign seems dangerously close to becoming a cult of personality.” Until you hear Chris Matthews, who no longer has the excuse of youth, react to Obama’s Potomac primary victory speech with “My, I felt this thrill going up my leg.” When his MSNBC co-hosts tried to bail him out, he refused to recant. Not surprising for an acolyte who said that Obama “comes along, and he seems to have the answers. This is the New Testament.”

Krauthammer’s last paragraph in the piece:

Democrats are worried that the Obama spell will break between the time of his nomination and the time of the election, and deny them the White House. My guess is that he can maintain the spell just past Inauguration Day. After which will come the awakening. It will be rude.

Calling Obama supporters cult-like is “The New Thing” fresh off the GOP’s propaganda press. (Remember, they’re new to slamming Barack. Slapping Obama supporters and calling them stupid crap is just the beginning. In a few more months, they’ll be talking all kinds of nonsense.) Crooks and Liars caught a CNN piece from their very lameSituation Room” where Carol Costello offers a Fox News imitation of Obama supporters who look like “the Moonies” in a piece titled “creepy”. But where’s Bart is this?

Nowhere!

What does he care? He’ll be front and center if Randi Rhodes and Ed Shultz talks badly about Hillary. But if there’s bad-mouthing to be done on Obama… So freaking what?!Hillary Box

What Bart (and his Goddess in Chief) have failed to do was to recognize that the American public, both Red and Blue, are fed up with what both the Bush and the Clinton camps have left us….all of us: A mess. A disaster.

Let’s be honest here: Those levies in New Orleans were in pretty bad shape before GW Bush took over, and yet nobody has blamed Bill Clinton for not fixing those levvies with that “$200 quadrillion surplus”.

Barack made “Change” from all of this crap we face something that’s front and center of his campaign. And it was a brilliant move politically. “Change” isn’t a change in the Bush Cartel, Obama’s “Change” comes from all of it: Including the Clinton Dynasty, the Reagan Dynasty and the Carter and the Nixon Dynasties. From the beginning of his campaign he published “The Audacity of Hope; Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream“, which was brilliantly titled as well as it was written. Unlike Bill Clinton who admitted to smoking pot, but avoiding “inhaling” it, Barack threw his adolescent drug use out there in his book for all to see and criticize. If you’re a Democrat; “Inhaling” is completely Out and “Honesty” is totally In…Dude.

I love the 90sMeanwhile Hillary Clinton thought she could sing for her supper and she decided on “Aud Lang Syne” as her tune du jour. Clinton’s campaign tour de force includes the same ghostly faces as her husband had at his dispoal; Harold Ickles, Bob Nash, Howard Wolfson… Her campaign is simply a re-hash of the ’90’s. Even Clinton’s last two books screams her campaign platform in their titles alone: “An Invitation to the White House: At Home with History” and “Living History“. It’s a rerun of VH1’s “I Love the 90’s”, but with uglier politicians and sluttier whores.

Both campaigns are brilliant, both extremely competitive. I have a great deal of respect for Senator Clinton and Senator Obama. If Hillary gets the nomination, I would be proud to be an American to cast the first vote for a woman for President of the United States. But since Obama is giving Clinton a serious run for her money, Bart has decided that ripping the crap out of Obama’s campaign will give Hillary that “extra boost” she needs. Even if that crap-ripping is undeserved. And that’s why Bart is wrong.

I don’t think I’m not alone in noting that Hillary’s opportunistic personality causes many Obama supporters concerned about her tenure as a President. From the beginning, Hillary has been making mistakes or acting inappropriately, something I’ve already touched on. And that’s why Bart has concentrated on weeks and weeks of Barack-Bitching.

He’ll ignore her campaign mistakes, gloss over her back-tracking and keep focused on Barack Obama’s skin-color and twitter around..”rationalizing whether or not the Democrats have a “civil war” going on or not.” (Call it poetic, even metaphorical, but don’t forget to call it what it really is: “Really Really Pathetic”.)

Yes We Can!And what about that black vote? Something the Democrats always encourage is for our African-American neighbors to get out and vote. And, to be honest, they rarely do! While Southern white Democrats from Oklahoma (that’s you Bart) all the way to Georgia struggle with their conscious whether they can drag themselves to vote for a black man for president; their hand-wringing days are over: Roll out the African-American vote:

Hillary Clinton‘s black supporters — especially the most prominent ones — hadn’t expected their candidate to be in a dogfight right now. They thought Barack Obama was an election cycle or two away from being serious presidential timber. They thought Bill Clinton‘s presidency and the close relationships the Clintons had forged with African Americans would translate into goo-gobs of votes in ’08. They were wrong.

Remember all the commentator chatter last summer: Is Barack Obama black enough?

Well, he’s black enough now.

We’re all sick of Bush’s Oil War. We’re all fed up with W’s incompetence and his 3rd Grade level of diction for the English language. We’re all pissed as hell by Bush’s Texas-sized “Good Old Boys Club” and we’re sick to death of perverted bathroom-stalking Republicans and spineless whining Democrats.

For the first time, the Democrats have given the GOP something they don’t know how to handle, his name is Barack Obama. The GOP knows how to handle Hillary, but they’re stumped as to what to do about Barack.

DroopyBut who cares about the GOP? Their guy, Johnny Mac, is hated. He’s regarded as a liberal who hangs out with that Liberal Loser Joe “Droopy the Dog” Lieberman. They’re all aware that McCain is severely hot tempered. Mike Huckabee’s GI Josephine action figure, Chuck Norris says that McCain is too old! His message is reviled by the American public; “100 years in Iraq is fine with me!” smacks badly on the US citizens.

While Barack Obama draws crowds of 20,000 who’ve stood in lines that are literally miles long to see him in Minneapolis, their guy Johnny Mac sniffles and slithers in to meet his followers in hotel meeting rooms and tells them he doesn’t know anything about the economy. And while Hillary is speaking to uproarious crowds in Texas about her platform of change, their guy Johnny Mac is whimpering for an endorsement from George Bush’s…”Dad“.

Bart’s wrong to continuously rip on Obama and he’s wrong to suggest that Obama can’t win the general election. And spending hundreds of hours complaining about Obama and whining because his beloved Clinton is staggering in the campaign; well…that’s just sad and pathetic.

FruitFlyWe still love ya Bart! Keep hammerin’! Just don’t think you’re gonna smack Obama without a few of us comin’ back at cha. Don’t be messin’ with my Barack and I won’t mess with your girl Hillary. We’re all family… So come on and let’s kick some GOP arse! We’re all family! You can even bring your little friend “Butt-Plug” along with you!!

The Hypocracy of Blue People

Bush and DickHello and welcome to Fruit Fly News. My name is Frizzie McBee and tonight, we’ll be discussing Ralph Nader’s vile hatred towards Americans.

You may recall, environmentalist and Democrat-Hater Ralph Nader is the political party crasher of the century. Democrats have long despised Mr. Nader’s excuses to ruin their political hopefuls and routinely blame him for their losses. Mr. Nader meanwhile, criticizes the Democrats for what he criticizes a relationship far too cozy with Republican positions.

“You know the two parties are still converging — they don’t even debate the military budget anymore,” Nader said in a 30-minute interview. “I really think there needs to be more competition from outside the two parties.”

Democrats, furious with Nader’s nosey noise-box, blame the loss of the 2000 elections on Nader for splitting the party vote. In August 2006, DailyKos, a popular political website for liberals and progressives, launched the accusation that Ralph Nader was actually being paid by the Republican Party in Pennsylvania in a very heated race between US incumbent Senator Rick Santorum and Democratic hopeful Jim Webb. Ralph Nader’s Green Party candidate for the race, Carl Romanelli, was accused of taking money from Rick Santorum’s GOP party, and producing fake signatures to make sure his name was on the voter’s ballot in the very important election three months later.

In addition, new evidence shows that the GOP and Santorum have entirely funded Romanelli’s operation. With the exception of a $30 check written by Romanelli, himself, prominent Republican donors funneled $66,000 dollars through the Luzerne County Green Party, according to available FEC reports.

Avid fans of the DailyKos went insane with rage against Nader. Complaining that Nader’s party rarely, if ever, wins any elections anyway; but that his efforts are a direct attack upon the election process itself.

Field ReporterIn other news, anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan has her sights sent on running for Congress in 2008! For more on this exciting news, Brock Trentmore has the story. Brock?!

Yes Frizzie and thank you! Liberals and Progressives are very excited to see their favorite activist Cindy Sheehan re-emerge from a twenty-six day vacation full of energy and running a very powerful message against US Speaker of the House Nancy Pilosi.

Ms. Sheehan will be starting a pilgrimage in Atlanta, GA andCindy Sheehan walking all of the way to Washington DC where she hopes to meet with a few of Congress’ most influentional elected people and where she’ll make her promise known to the US Speaker of the House. Ms. Sheehan said in a letter published by the DailyKos:

I was going to announce on July 10th (my 50th birthday) before our Journey for Humanity that I would run against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Ca) if she didn’t put impeachment back on the table before our tour reached DC on July 23rd.

Yes it’s true Frizzie! Popular Air America talk-jock Randi Rhodes put Ms. Sheehan on the radio where she gushed and oozed all over Ms. Sheehan’s anti-war resurrection. Ms. Rhodes played a song in honor of Ms. Sheehan and then the two giggled and snickered about Ms. Sheehan’s threat to run against Pilosi. Said Sheehan live on The Randi Rhodes Show:

…Well, it isn’t a problem for me to buy property in Nancy Pilosi’s district. I’ve sold Camp Casey, and so I have the name recognition and I have over 800,000 signatures of people who are against this war…”

Randi Rhodes, never shy about her hatred for Ralph Nader’s “anti-Democratic” political antics snickered and giggled with Ms. Sheehan. When Sheehan re-iterated her threat to run against the Speaker of the House if Ms Pilosi did not meet her demands, Rhodes gushed:

…Well, I wish I could be there with you. I truly do. I love you. I wish you the best.”

The DailyKos carried Ms. Sheehan’s entire political threat in which she encourages others to follow in her footsteps by running against Democrats and Republicans who have the means.

I hope this challenges other people who desire healthy political change and not temporary band-aids to replace other Democrats and Republicans who do not conform to the beatitudes of peace, sustainability and the rule of law for everybody, not just poor, or marginalized persons.

Back to you, Frizzie!

Laura Bush SmokesThank you Brock. That’s very informative. Ms. Sheehan believes that she can accomplish much more as a freshman Congresswoman than career politician and current US Speaker of the House Nancy Pilosi has accomplished this far. Ms. Sheehan, tired and exhausted just a month ago, said she wanted to go home, be with her family and put her life together. Instead, Ms. Sheehan has decided that ripping up another Democrat is a far more intelligent move than running against a Republican or, even better; stumping for Democratic votes!

As you can plainly see, those who write for and read the DailyKos can be just as much of a bunch of political hypocrits as the Ralph Naders and the Joe Liebermann’s that they vehemently despise.Me

My name is Frizzie McBee and this has been another issue of Fruit Fly news. Good night, and Goddess Bless.

Found on the sidewalk

sidewalk scrap

In the name of the Father, Son and Who the Hell is that?

A man in Portugal was arrested for impersonating a Catholic priest and attempting to baptize a baby.

“When the man said ‘in the name of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit’ police came in and grabbed him,” a member of the church was quoted by local daily Jornal de Noticias as saying.

A spokeswoman for the Portuguese police said the 34-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of impersonating a priest and had several similar arrest warrants to his name.

Said Freida Blumenthal of Lisbon; “Thank Gawd he wasn’t trying to be a Rabbi doing a bris! We woulda had the schmeal all over da place!”

9-11 was an inside job

US Senator John McCain (R-AZ) came to Minnesota for a nice little visit where he was greeted by governor Tim Pawlenty (R) who is the Senator’s “Number One” in getting him elected President of the United States. While the Governor continues to divert his attention towards a higher celebrity status within McCain’s complete disaster as far as a campaign is considered, the Senator continues to swim around in complete lunacy on what’s going on around him.

Case in point: Iraq war critiques also greeted the Senator with posters that said “9-11 was an inside job”. They managed to con Governor Pawlenty to hold the camera and tell Senator McCain with the war critiques holding up their posters to say “Cheese!!” You can cut to the chase and watch the video by clicking here.

Go home Joe!

US Senator Joseph Leibermann (DI-CT) had finally begun toBush Lite piss off the very team who put him back in Washington DC.

The Connecticut for Lieberman Party is calling on Senator Joseph Lieberman to resign from the U.S. Senate following his remarks made Sunday on CBS’ Face the Nation regarding military action against Iran.

Lieberman said on the national television program that, “we’ve got to be prepared to take aggressive military action against the Iranians.”

WTNH, the local television news station did not report anything about the CLP group saying something like: “Well Duh! We never really thought he would be that stupid.”

Gay Mafia continues to terrify all of civilization

The Gay Mafia, as you may already know, exists everywhere and has far more control over our civilization than the Jews, the Italian Mafia and the Russian Mob. Lead by a group of rogue lesbians, this insidious organized crime ring as already begun controlling the the entire Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

A couple of completely innocent Catholic priests attempted to force Massachusetts residents to re-vote on the gay-marriage bill, and it failed miserably. According to Michael Savage, it’s glaringly apparent this was the work of the Gay Mafia, along with a few non-homosexual political figures in Massachusetts who were obviously forced to cooperate with the Homosexuality Liberation Army.

Mr. Savage said:

In Massachusetts, a gang — including the governor, including the Speaker of the House Sal DiMasi, including Senate president Therese Murray, and including Governor Deval Patrick — they did an end-run around the voters. The voters wanted a vote on homosexual marriage. They wanted it to go before the people, and these criminals went behind the voters’ back and shot it down. They won’t even let them vote on it. They said “drop dead” to all of you. “We’re not going to let you vote on it! We control the state!” The gang that answers to the gay mafia controls the state — “You people, you can drop dead, all of you.”

Media Matters, another branch of the gay mafia known as the Homosexual Liberation Army has detailed information on all of Michael Savage’s rantings of craziness and stupidity which you can check out by clicking here. The HLA could not be reached for further comment, however a spokesperson for the Pinko Communist party said:

gomosedi“When Michael Savage is admitted into the Gay Reformation Prison camp, his blasphemous statements against homosexuality will be evaluated, analyzed and appropriate electrolisis will be applied as necessary. Once Mr. Savage has finally become as queer as a three dollar bill, he will be released on work-duty and subjected to constant redicule for these desparaging remarks.”

…Scary, isn’t it?

Me

Fruit Fly News: Who is Joey Oglesby?

Laura Bush SmokesHello, and welcome to Fruit Fly News. My name is Frizze McBee.

Today, President Bush has increased troop levels in Iraq to an additional 3 million Americans. Calling it a “surge”, the President has stated; “Defeat is not an option, ‘cut and run’ is also not an option, and since nobody else has come up with a better option; it’s obvious that my ‘surge’ is the only viable option.”

Monkey SurgeDavid Gregory, from a less informative news channel called NBC, corrected the President’s suggestion that nobody else has come up with “a Plan” for Iraq. Mr. Gregory said;

“Mr. President, that’s patently untrue! The Democrats have produced a plan. In fact, Senators Joe Biden and Jack Reed have produced a plan as well as Congressman Jack Murtha! Senator Biden, as a matter of fact, has written extensively on the subject. Have you even looked at their plans?

President Bush cut him off and whined; “But I’m the Decisioner! And if I say there ain’t another plan out there: Then there truly is no other plan.

Joe BooshMr. Gregory, attempting to sound like a professional journalist was about to counter the President’s interruption when Senator Joe Lieberman suddenly appeared from behind President Bush looking disheveled and seemed to try and help the President pull his trousers back up. Senator Leibermann then turned to Mr. Gregory and said;

The other alternatives–the main alternative that the opponents of what the President has done are offering is to simply begin to withdraw. And the theory there is that somehow if you with– I mean some people want to withdraw because they just want to get out. They think the thing–They want to give up. They think the thing is not winnable. I’m afraid they don’t agree with me that the consequences of pulling out would be a disaster for everybody, including most important, us. But some say if you begin to withdraw, then Maliki and the other Iraqis will say ‘Oh, my God, they’re leaving. We got to get our act together. I don’t think so. I think what is more likely is that the Iraqi politicians will begin to hedge their bets, and the militias and the Al Qaeda terrorists will just hold back until the day we’re gone, and then chaos will break out, and unfortunately as McCain says, we’ll probably be back there in a larger war, you know, two, three, four, five years from now. I think this is our chance, so I’d guess I’d say to you in war–There’s a famous old saying that war is a series of catastrophes that ends up in victory for one side, and right now I’d say this plan is the best next step we’ve got. Let’s hope it works, pray it works, and if it doesn’t, then we’ll figure out what we’re gonna do then.

The Senator then dipped behind the President again, this time amid a flurry of kissing sounds.

In other news, the term “faggot” has become a media favorite for conservatives. With origins going back to the time of the witchcraft trials in the early 1200’s in Europe, usage of the derogatory term to reference gay and lesbians has become again for conservative pundits like Glenn Beck on CNN Headline News. In an odd turn of hypocracy, CNN allowed the usage of the derogatory name without hesitation, and yet – when Bill Mahr mentions that Ken Mehlman on Larry King Live, former chairman of the Republican National Convention might be gayCNN edited the transcript, the video which re-aired later in the week, removed the video from YouTube and sent out legal briefs to anybody who carried the uncensored version on their websites.

The word has become popular with “Jesus People” as well! Donnie Davies, a self-described “former homosexual” and “minister”, recently came out with a lively little tune about how much God’s love is regulated only to those who aren’t “a faggot”. According to Davies’ song, God hates faggots, and let’s face it: “It’s only a choice anyway”. Davies recorded the song made a video to go along with the song, and then uploaded it to YouTube, MySpace and Google Video. All three removed the video immediately, while YouTube has many spoofs of the original now posted in its place. Current TV, who’s parent corporation is Google, has run a pod-cast of their take on Donnie Davies, including information that you might not even know!

SimpsonsIn a historic moment heard around the world, Jesus Christ appeared in front of Donnie Davies and kicked his ass. Violence has broke out all over the world as a result, with people buying “What Would Jesus Do” bracelets and then beating up the clerk who rang up the purchase.

Last Saturday (Jan 27, 2007), Goddess-extrodinaire Pam of Pams House Blend discovered that Donnie Davies is not only a homophobe and an idiot, but he’s also an actor from the Dallas/Ft Worth metropolitan area. JoeyJoel Oglesby Oglesby has appeard on stage in shows like “Debbie Does Dallas, the Musical” and a comedy sketch troupe called “Chicken & Pickles Guys”. Obviously, these are shows that promote heterosexual lifestyles as “wonderful” if not a bit “fabulous”. *

On Friday (Jan 26th) the actor Joey Oglesby playing the part of Donnie Davies appeared again on YouTube to point out the pain he’s endured because people have laughed at him for being overweight. The short video opens with him talking excitedly about all of the attention his “God Hates a Fag” video has gotten and complains bitterly that it’s been removed from all of the popular video-websites. He then gets seriously upset because people have made fun of his weight. He finishes with jubilation on the love of Jesus Christ and says; “…But God hates you”.

No word yet whether Jesus Christ has re-appeared to kick his ass all over again.

Since the days of then House Majority Leader Dick Army called Congressman Barney Frank, “Barney Fag” on a radio show in 1995, conservatives have picked up on the word as media-magnet to attract attention to themselves. CNN isn’t alone in the debacle either. MSNBC enjoys the word so much, Chris Matthews pumped-up his penil implant when Ann Coulter said on his show that Al Gore was “a total fag” in July 06. Matthews, with his three inch puptent showing, excitedly promised his viewers to have her on the show again.

Bush and DickExpecting a word of caution to come from “Dr” Laura Schlessinger to point out what happened when she called gays and lesbians a “biological error”, nothing has been heard from her or her Rabbi.

That’s all there is for Fruit Fly News. We thank you for tuning in! My name is Frizzie McBee, good night!

* Fruit Fly News network has tried to contact Pam at Pams House Blend to get her the unedited and uncensored version of the video that hasn’t been ripped down. However, her system requires that we “open an account” to even speak on her blog. Since there are so many accounts created already, one would simply give up and let her find it on her own.