Found under a wine bottle

bottleRedneck Hospitality

CHICAGO—The White House has turned down a request from the family of President-elect Barack Obama to move into Blair House in early January so that his daughters can start school on Jan. 5.

The Obamas were told that Blair House, where incoming presidents usually stay in the five days before Inauguration Day, is booked in early January, a spokesperson to the Obama transition said. “We explored the idea so that the girls could start school on schedule,’ the spokesperson said. “But, there were previously scheduled events and guests that couldn’t be displaced.”

It remained unclear who on Bushes guest list outranked the incoming President.

I’m going to guess who’s going to be “occupying” the Blair House: The Bush Twins, that’s who. Jenna and Barbara will be pulling off their final and last week-long bender complete with bathtubs converted into giant sized bongs, kitchen hand beaters exchanged with vibrating dildos and the largest pot garden within a 90-miles growing in the Master Bedroom… complete with automated irrigation.

But that’s only a guess.

Ineptitude

Private information at bargain prices. It was a high-tech flub at the McCain-Palin campaign headquarters in Arlington when Fox 5’s Investigative Reporter Tisha Thompson bought a Blackberry device containing confidential campaign information. […]

The hottest item? Blackberry phones at $20 a piece. There were only 10 left. All of the batteries had died. There were no chargers for sale. But people were snatching them up. So, we bought a couple.

And ended up with a lot more than we bargained for.

When we charged them up in the newsroom, we found one of the $20 Blackberry phones contained more than 50 phone numbers for people connected with the McCain-Palin campaign, as well as hundreds of emails from early September until a few days after election night.

petri48cake012Your Daddy drinks too much because you laugh at the GOP.

Hope

The state canvassing board just voted unanimously that absentee ballots that were initially rejected because of clerical errors — and the current estimate from the hearing is that there could be nearly 1,600 of them, based on some extrapolation — should be counted, probably the single biggest issue that the Franken campaign has been hammering ever since this recount began, and which really seemed up in the air going into this hearing.

Crossing my fingers, anticipating Minnesota’s newest Junior Senator might very well be Stewart Smalley always makes me leak a tiny bit of pee in my underpants.

Hypocracy

Angered by the Republican Senate (a.k.a. “Darth Vader’s golfing buddies”), Chris Dodd (D-CT) points out:

  • Worker salaries make up a tiny fraction of the financial challenge facing the automakers.
  • The UAW had already agreed to achieve “compatibility and comparability” by March—a major concession.
  • We still have the opportunity to fix this and the obligation to try.
  • It is “incredible” that the one demand put above all others by Republicans during this negotiation is that workers, who have already been hurt badly by the declining economy, should take another hit.

Yes… As we all know: Republicans are especially patriotic compared to their liberal, labor union and minority middle-class American worker. Watch the Chris Dodd video here.

fruitfly21Leadership

Morgan Johnson, president of the UAW, told General Motors auto workers in Shreveport, LA last Friday:

“I don’t know what Sen. Vitter has against GM or the United Auto Workers or the entire domestic auto industry; whatever it is, whatever he thinks we’ve done, it’s time for him to forgive us, just like Sen. Vitter has asked the citizens of Louisiana to forgive him, ” said Johnson, president of Local 2166. Otherwise, Johnson said of Vitter, it would appear, “He’d rather pay a prostitute than pay auto workers.”

If there’s anybody out there who believes the Republican Party cares anything about the middle class, I have a really nice bridge to sell you cheap. It’s in Brooklyn, NY and it’s purple with pretty red and yellow flowers painted all over it. Seriously! If you’d like to buy it…I can arrange it!

Can anybody tell me – Did Senator David Vitter give his wife Wendy clymidia? Or has that all been cleared up?

The Second American Civil War

Joe Babiasz of Huntington Woods, Mich., launched a Web site, www.boycottalabamanow.com, recently to protest Shelby’s efforts to prevent Congress from passing a package of loans to the U.S. auto industry.

On his Web site, the General Motors retiree takes issue with [Senator Richard] Shelby’s [R-AL] position and claims Shelby’s support of federal grants for Alabama makes the senator a hypocrite. Specifically, the Web site questions grants for Alabama’s fishing industry.

If Big Auto does collapse, the Republican Party can be given credit to damaging the United States far beyond Osama bin Laden’s wildest dreams. If you don’t believe me, wind-up your stress meter by checking this piece out and find out for yourself.FruitFly 6

Even so, statistics from the Center for Automotive Research in Ann Arbor show 239,000 people work in the U.S. for GM, Chrysler and Ford Motor Co. The center, which does research for the auto companies, estimates total job losses would reach 2.5 million if GM failed and 3.5 million if all three auto companies went out of business in 2009.

Predictions are coming through on the GOP throwing Michigan families under the bus just weeks for Christmas will guarantee that Michigan won’t vote Republican for at least one generation of voters. I predict at least three generations.

Pastor Ted Haggard Explains His Gayness: “We Blew It”!

Yes kiddies…! Pastor Ted Haggard’s back again!! Only this time, he’s front and center to explain why his “gay life” was kept in The Closet for all of these years: He was sexually abused as a child.

That’s it! We can all go home now! Everything is A-OK! Nothing to see here! Move on along!! Thanks for your concern! Thanks for stopping!!

Once again we have a conservative Republican, horribly addicted to Meth, addicted to illicit sexual activity with a prostitute and addicted to adult gay porn — Blame all of it on someone else.

I’ve always thought that the first step in any addiction is for the person to fully confront that they have the disease and deal with it one day at a time. I could prattle on all of the remaining eleven steps of sobriety but it’s that first one I’ve always been told what was the most important.

Pastor Ted Haggard, leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, admitted to having a long-term sexual affair with 49-year old male prostitute Mike Jones in Denver, CO. Jones, right before the 2006 elections, dropped the bomb-shell of the century that shattered the NAE, an organization that included over 47,000 churches and over 30 million members nationwide. Jones admitted to providing meth during the weekend-long sexual adventures where they remained perpetually stoned and watched gay porn.

On November 4th, just weeks after the bombshell of a story exploded, the NAE demanded Haggard’s resignation while other prominent homophobic religious zealots scrambled for safety. Uber-Hate Monger, James B. Dobson, president of Focus on the Family, came out swinging with this:

“The possibility that an illicit relationship has occurred is alarming to us and to millions of others,” Dobson said.

“He will continue to be my friend, even if the worst allegations prove accurate,” he continued. “Nevertheless, sexual sin, whether homosexual or heterosexual, has serious consequences.”

While Tony Perkins, chair of the uber-Hate Group “The Family Research Council” came out with:

“In his position as a leader of the evangelical community, this personal tragedy has public ramifications, so we urge that a full accounting of the facts be swift and complete.”

One year later, Mike Jones went on a radio station in Las Vegas and noted that US Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) was also one of his regular clients.

Fast forward another year and 1 week later, and Pastor Ted is blaming an employee of his father’s business for his bizarre attraction towards 49 year old male prostitutes:

Haggard said one of his father’s employees “had a sexual experience with me” when Haggard was 7, according to audio recordings of the sermons posted on the ABC News Web site.

Haggard said he later became “a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things.

“But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in the second grade started to rage in my mind and in my heart,” he said.

So, it was some other sexual pervert that made you gay, is that right Pastor Ted?! Now I see how easy it would be to be finally cured! Once I’m “cured”, does that mean I’ll join a construction crew and whistle lewdly at blond chicks with big racks? You mean, all I have to do is kick out a sketchy story that blames some obscure male figure in my childhood and everything will be okay?

WOW!

To think that something that simple and the world would be plagued with millions of little Junior Fruit Flies!

Pastor Ted then went on to blame everybody else for failing to capitalize on the opportunity to use the event to proseltyze the Word of God through mainstream media.

Haggard said church leaders missed an opportunity to use his scandal to “communicate the gospel worldwide through secular media.”

“We consistently blow it when those opportunities arise”, he said.

“A congressman in trouble, that’s the time. A family member gets himself in horrible trouble, that’s the time. A preacher gets himself in awful trouble, that’s the time,” he said, his voice rising to a near-shout.

Extra Homework Credit: Watch the ABC News Exclusive with Pastor Ted’s Story by clicking here.

Extra-Extra Homework Credit: Someone please tell me that Mrs. Ted Haggard has taken an AIDS test. That goes for all of these Republican wives for God’s Sakes! Larry Craig’s wife Suzanne needs an AIDS test, David Vitter’s (R-LA) wife Wendy needs an AIDS test..! These Republican wives are nothing but depositories of the AIDS virus and nobody seems to be interested in noting the obvious. It would behoove Laura Bush herself get an AIDS test too… Let’s not forget that other Closet Queen, Jeff Gannon who was living in the White House for two years…

Oh dear… I’m preaching to the choir now..! What have I worked myself up to..??! Worrying about Republican wives? Ted Haggard?! Why should I care about these people?!?!

There isn’t a single one of them that gave a flying-fuck about any gay man who died of the AIDS virus from 1978-2008.

Why should I care about any of them?


Oops! Somebody get the Gaffe Machine ready!

I actually like it when the media is buzzing around the GOP about stupid stuff. Americans are far too shallow to understand in-depth thinking and translating it into work-a-day routines! Bring back the buzz about Sarah Palin having an affair outside of her own marriage, and Todd Palin hating American so much that he’s joined some crazy nut-job named Joe Vogler who hates America and wants a re-invention of the Confederate States during the pre-Civil War days! Even Lynette Clark, chairwoman of the Alaskan Independance Party, who considers herself a “kindred spirit” to Governor Palin, hate’s America so much, said publically:

[She says,] “in my heart and mind, I’m an Alaskan. I don’t identify myself as an American.”

I’ll even be happy to discuss Cindy McCain’s drug problem(s), Laura Bush’s DWI driving problems or even Condi Rice’s lesbian affairs! But for God’s sakes! Why does the DNC have to bring up heavy-headed crap like this?!?!

There’s no justice in the world anymore, ya know?!? No justice!! Who’s going to sit around the water-cooler and talk about McCain’s conversation from a year ago while on his dumpy broken-down McStraight Talking McBus discussing what he thinks about campaigns running negative ads?!

Nobody, that’s who!

Here’s Sara Palin doing the keynote to the Alaska Independence Party convention: Not only is she missing a Flag Pin on her lapel, she refuses to acknowledge the United States Constitution while focusing on the (country of) Alaska constitution as her topic du jour!

BORING!!

C’mone DNC-Geeks! Bring us fresh meat!! Live meat if possible!!Can we have another Dick Cheney (fake) heart attack!?!? Please?!?!?

The McCain campaign is handing out gaffes like Halloween candy for chrissakes. I’m willing to bet that John McCain is nothing more than a Democratic trojan-horse whose forced the political arm of the GOP.

Hello!! Is anybody paying attention to how “BADLY” this GOP campaign is running?!?! I feel like a member of the Peace Corps: Who will save the GOP?!!!

What’s that on her shoulder?!

We’ve been watching the Olympics, on and off, for the past three or four days. There’s been these moments when I see one of the USA’s woman’s volleyball team and she’s got this weird black…”thing” all over her right shoulder:

You see it on her right shoulder?! Pictures are hard to find on the ‘Net… From the front:


See it?!!

Most folks out there are asking about her “tatoo”, mistaking the markings as some elaborate skin-art thing.

From a photo blogger’s website entitled: “Photos of George W Bush “Drunk as a Monkey” at the Olympics“, I found this photo:


Here’s a photo that has nothing to do with my topic at hand – but I think it’s worth looking at anyway. Hail the “Leader of the Free World”!! …Drunk again!!

Good looking black man molesting Bush’s hairy man-boob there… Laura Bush, a.k.a. “The Xanax Queen”, getting the hell out of the way… It looks like she’s got that thought: “It’s time for a Misty May-Treanor Menthol light…Now get the Hell out of my way!!

Anyway! The black markings on Kerri Walsh’s shoulder isn’t a tatoo at all! As a matter of fact, it’s medical tape that was developed in Japan called “kinesio tape”.

Apparently, Ms. Walsh had surgery performed on her rotator-cup some time ago. The tape, a cloth-based adhesive, increases circulation and improves muscle performance that are on the mend.

From Mike’s World:

It’s called Kinesio-taping and is usually applied by therapists, not physicians…it’s pretty much voodoo, but some people get some benefits from it.

That is Kinesio Tape, developed in Japan for elastic support of muscles to allow muscles to relax and keep them from spasming. This tape also acts as a support. It is used in conjunction with the anatomy of the muscle and the use of the muscle that needs support.

I had a bad ankle strain last year and my chiro (who uses lots of acupressure techniques) wrapped it with a very light cloth tape and believe me it made such a difference for being something that didn’t feel like anything at all. There’s gotta be a psychological componet to this as well. ie. it “feels” better.”

Personally, I think it’s kind cool! Blues, greens, GLBT Rainbow Flag colors! There are hundreds of great ideas to do with that tape!! To hell with tatoos! Let’s say; A bald eagle wings spread open on printed Kinesio Tape stretched across my shoulders! That would be beautiful! Then, when after I got home after going out shirtless at the local Leather Man’s Night Out at the Eagle on Washington Avenue, all I have to do is rip that shit off and…WHAM!! … I’ve removed the hair from half my back.

It would hurt like hell for a while I suppose. But my muscles would be relaxed and my circulation couldn’t be better!

Hrmm… Wait! It improves circulation?! Do you think the Japanese have discovered an adhesive tape that would replace Viagra?!?!??!?

…Just sayin’.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

President Bush’s newest (dis)-approval numbers

Nazi MickeyDoes anybody remember when ABC (a.k.a. Mickey Mouse Television) aired that show “Path to 9-11” in 2006? There was all of this controversy from within the Democratic National Committee who urged progressives and liberals to write nasty-grams to ABC Chief Robert Iger to keep that piece of propaganda piece off the air. Especially when the movie essentially blamed the Democrats in Congress (?!!) for 9-11. And being a month and a half away from the upcoming election, that really pissed off the Progressives and the Liberals. Everybody screamed and ballyhooed complete with pictures of Mickey Mouse sporting an Adolf Hitler mustache. The propaganda puff-piece didn’t seem to work however: The Dems, of course, gained control of Congress and the Republicans are still bitching and whining about a “liberal media bias”…of course.

Well, now the Mickey Channel has some bad news for the neo-Nazi’s, the likes of Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin:

The latest GW Bush poll numbers from Mickey Mouse tee-vee!!

Nazy Mickey…And trust me folks, it ain’t looking good for King George, his wife Pickles, or for Pluto, Goofy and the Country Bear Jamboree. Although I’m sure it was painful for the producers of the “Path to 9-11” (especially after their stupid propaganda film didn’t do them any good anyway), Americans simply do not like George…nor the neo-Nazi flag that his minions are currently goose stepping and saluting.

Are we ready boys and girls?!

Let’s go!

Job Approval: Just 32 percent of Americans now approve of the way Bush is handling his job, while 66 percent disapprove.

Even with a slight reduction in violence in Iraq:

64 percent say the war was not worth fighting, 2 points from its high.

Republican boys and girls might want to look away… this could get ugly for some.

77 percent in this ABC News/Washington Post poll say the country is headed off on the wrong track — the most since the federal government shut down in a deeply unpopular budget battle in early 1996.

Three post-World War II presidents have gone lower than Bush in overall approval:

    • Jimmy Carter (28 percent)
      • Richard Nixon (24 percent)
      • Harry Truman (22 percent)

          But after three straight years in the doghouse, Bush is just two months away from Truman’s record of 38 months without majority approval — far beyond any other.

          Intensity of sentiment, moreover, remains very heavily against the president.

          Fifty-one percent strongly disapprove of his work overall, while just 16 percent strongly approve — strongly negative by better than a 3-1 ratio.

          On the Economy:

          Economic trouble almost always damages an incumbent president, and it’s been brewing for months. Consumer confidence as measured weekly by ABC News grew worse in each quarter of 2007. In November, 69 percent of Americans said a recession was at least somewhat likely in the next year. And in this poll the economy has surpassed the Iraq War as the most important issue to voters in the 2008 presidential campaign.

          8 percent now approve of how Bush is handling the economy, down 6 points in the last month and down from 40 percent in June.

          But it’s not the housing or credit markets but other economic concerns that Americans cite as their families’ main economic problems:

            • 24 % cite health care costs
              • 23 % rising prices
              • 16% on the price of gasoline
              • 12% on taxes

                Notice that the number one issue is a topic that Republicans completely ignore while the last item is a topic Republicans promote as a “top issue”. The opposite is true of the Democrats: Health care is vitality important to the Democrats platform. Is it any wonder why the Democrats are hauling in loads of cash while the Republicans are starved for it?

                On “Getting Ahead” (no dirty-thoughts please)

                All told, just 21 percent say they’re “getting ahead” financially, while 17 percent say they’re falling behind (actually a bit fewer than the 23 percent who say so in fall 2006). Most, six in 10, say they’re earning just enough to maintain their standard of living.

                That’s Mickey-speak translated as: Over half of Americans say they’re barely hanging on, Baby.

                In a country where getting ahead is the American dream, just holding steady doesn’t do it.

                • Among those who are getting ahead financially, 60 percent say the country is headed in the wrong direction (they have other concerns, including the war).
                • Among those who are just maintaining, far more, 79 percent, say the country’s going the wrong way.
                • And among those falling behind, “wrong direction” peaks at 89 percent.

                On “Iraq” (drum-roll please…)

                  • 30 percent approve of how he’s handling the war in Iraq (2 points from his low, and again strong disapprovers outnumber strong approvers by 3-1.
                  • 54 percent remain skeptical the U.S. is making significant progress restoring civil order there.

                    Of those who support the War in Iraq (those Republicans who are going to vote for McCain, Romney, Huckabee and “Rotten Rudy” Giuliani)

                      • 69 percent approve of Bush’s work in office
                        • 52 percent say the country’s headed down the wrong track

                          Among those who disapprove of the war,

                            • Bush’s approval rating is 12 percent;
                              • “wrong track,” 91 percent.

                                Aye yi yi!! That smarts! Especially when over half the country is skeptical about this war already – 91% think this war is nothing but crap!

                                The effect of an unpopular war on presidential approval has been seen before. Johnson’s approval dropped year-to-year as the nation became enmeshed in Vietnam, from 66 percent in 1965 to 51 percent in 1966 and 42 percent in 1968, when he chose not to run for re-election. Bush’s approval has followed a similar path — just a longer one.

                                Bush v LBJ

                                On the “Party”!! (That’s the “neo-con party” of Nazi’s of course)

                                There’s been political damage beyond the president; his party has suffered as well. After decades of gradual growth, the Republican Party finally achieved parity with the Democrats in 2003, when, on average across the year, precisely equal numbers of Americans identified themselves with either party — 31 percent Democrats, 31 percent Republicans (with the rest independents).

                                But that changed after 2003 — the year the United States invaded Iraq. Since then Republican self-identification has moved back down, to an average of 25 percent across 2007 — its lowest year long average since 1984.

                                Party ID

                                <GASP!> Bush’s Presidency has thrown the GOP back to the early Eighties?! Ronald Ray-gun must be rolling in his grave! This is more terrifying than a ride on the Pirates of the Caribbean..! Can you imagine what the “liberal press” is saying right now?!

                                On Groups:

                                Bush is at career lows in approval in three groups as well as overall — among liberals (9 percent approve of his work), moderates (24 percent) and independents — the center of American politics — among whom just 25 percent approve.

                                His ratings are far higher among his core supporters, Republicans and conservatives, with 68 percent and 55 percent approval, respectively. But even those are well below his career averages in these groups, 86 percent and 71 percent. Beyond liberals, disapproval of Bush peaks among Democrats, African-Americans and strong opponents of the Iraq war.

                                The most interesting statement in the four page report is the last sentence:

                                The president’s low overall ratings fuel one other result, perhaps an obvious one: 79% percent of Americans say his successor should take the nation in a different direction.

                                Obviously this should be of the most important interest to all of the GOP candidates up there. Mitt Romney preaches “change” but doesn’t explain how to define that word. Likewise with Huckabee and “Rotten Rudy” Giuliani; they preach “change” but they’re not defining.

                                Their candidate gaining popularity recently is (POW and tortured) Senator John McCain. He’s the one who compromised with the president by letting Bush continue on torturing Guantanamo detainees which makes him nothing but a stinking hypocrite.  But I digress…again. McCain doesn’t even bother talking about “change”. He promotes staying in Iraq for up to 100 years if necessary and thinks Bush is doing a mighty fine job.

                                If you’d rather read the article with the graph charts, massive amounts of numbered charts and clarifications of what questions were asked (and the demographics of the people polled), you can click the PDF here. The charts on this blog belong to the original ABC report published in the PDF. Otherwise, you can roll a joint, make yourself a JD-n-coke and enjoy what I’ve supplied here. (Just don’t tell the cops about your stash, like I did once. Spent the entire Fourth of July weekend in jail.)

                                FruitFlyNow there’s only one logical conclusion to all of this gibberish: If the Evangelicals believe God Almighty reached down from Heaven and hand-picked George W Bush to be our President, our Commander in Chief… Then we’re in a hell of a lot of trouble.

                                Found in Michele Bachmann’s Diary

                                Dear Diary

                                August 23, 2007

                                Yesterday was the most thrilling day of my life. I had such a wonderful time, I don’t know where to even begin.

                                While Congress was in recess, the Interstate 35W bridge collapsed and killed thirteen non-believers. But that wasn’t the best part. All of us from the Minnesota delegation got word that God’s Blessedly Appointed President of the United States was flying in on His Angel’s Wings to view the wreckage.

                                It so amazing to comprehend the reality that President Bush actually cares about these dead unbelievers! But was even more fantastic was when I realized he might be coming to Minnesota just to see me!kissies

                                I mean, President Bush is so… Oh I don’t know how to describe him…. He’s so handsome! The last time I had been with him here in Minnesota, we let Karl Rove tag along while the two of us got intimate over custard ice-cream at Glaciers Custard and Coffee Café in Wayzata. Now that I think of it, it was almost exactly a year ago! That means, if I would have let George have his way with me back then, God would have blessed us with a child that would be three months old! I wish we could have gotten rid of Rove.

                                So while we’re at the wreckage of the I-35W bridge, Laura Bush kept giving me dirty looks. Scowling at me and I think she mouthed the word “b-i-t-c-h” once while she was hiding behind the Presidential limousine trying to light a cigarette. She’s such a doll! What a sweetie. But if that nasty little cupcake can’t make God’s Anointed sexually happy, it would be a blessing for me to step in her place.

                                kissiesThere he was, standing on the 10th Avenue bridge looking at the wreckage next to the Governor and I couldn’t help myself by checking him out. There was this little breeze and the rear flap of the President’s suit coat flipped up and I have to say; the President has the best looking rump I’ve seen on any man in my life. It looks firm, and so round…and manly! He has those wide manly shoulders and those thick fingers. Marcus has that ugly flat-iron type of rump and his fingers are smooth, like a womans. And Marcus’ lips are full and icky while George’s lips are thin…and manly.

                                Everybody stood around and chatted. Laura returned smelling like a pack of Pall-Malls and she glared at me again, I think. Senator Amy Klobuchar was shaking her head chatting with some non-believers and Senator Norm Coleman kept looking staring at some woman’s breasts, I think it was his wife.

                                All of a sudden, George spotted me and that’s when I leaked akissies little pee in my panties. He pushed Governor Pawlenty out of the way (who almost fell over the railing) and came running after me! He grabbed me in those tree-trunks he calls arms and dipped me really low and kissed me long and deeply. His tongue, wrapped around my tongue, his hands holding me ever so strong. I could feel his bulge pulsing against my thigh. Every muscle in my body simply released, I think I might have even let out one of those silent farts. My entire body simply went limp; I was his and his forever.

                                I mean, I was being kissed by someone God Almighty had selected to be the President of the Free World! The fire of God when through me! I mean, this is what God meant for me when he called me to go Washington: To be put together with George just then, high above the mighty Mississippi, kissing me, loving my body. I was once again, that Fool for Christ.

                                He lifted me up and we stood there nose-to-nose and for one second, we were of one mind, of one intimate though. I was at the brink of loosing it. He smiled at me with those tiny little yellow teeth and I knew then that he really missed me.

                                kissiesHe was about to hug me and kiss me again when Laura broke my gaze. She was glaring at me like a hot Texas fire-brand. George pulled me in for another hug and kiss but I put both hands firmly on his chest and pushed back. He looked shocked, and hurt.

                                He said: “What? You don’t want to embrace?”

                                But I realized that if Laura could find the keys, she’d run me over with any of the parked cars in the area. Quickly, I said;

                                The people of Minnesota love you Mr. President, but I think one kiss was enough.”

                                He suddenly realized we were surrounded by lots and lots of people! He grinned wisely and his hand slid down by back and stopped on my own cute little bottom and I grinned back at him. He smirked as if he understood the same thought, that we could be giving off signals that would make tongues wag. And I think he also understood that one day soon (I hope), the two of us would share the same bed and we would make a passionate love that would make angels cry.

                                The President’s detail interrupted us and he waskissies whisked away. I was singing Jesus’ praises in my heart, and I went back to our limousine. I found Marcus in the front seat next to our driver re-applying his strawberry flavored Chap-stick using the rear-view mirror. I got into the back and Marcus joined me and we took off and that’s when Marcus and I go into a little bit of a fight.

                                I was so flushed with love, I had to tell him that President Bush gave me a little kiss. (I didn’t dare tell my husband the lust I have for the President!!) We were in the back of the limousine and and I’m starting to tell him about meeting President Bush. And when I got to the part where the President kissed me, Marcus interrupted me and said; “He did?! What was it like? Was it like a hard kiss or one of those quick soft kisses?”

                                I said; “Marcus! Don’t interrupted me!” and then I remembered my slightly damp panties and asked him for a tissue out of his purse.

                                And I’m continuing with my story by saying; “…George was about to hug me and I said…” Marcus interrupted me again and said; “Was it a strong hug? Because whenever he hugs me, it’s that wonderful manly-kind of hugs, you know?!”

                                I said; “Marcus! You’ve interrupted me again!”

                                He said; “Just tell me! Was it like a manly, firm, tight…manly kind of hugs?”!

                                That’s when I had heard enough. I said: “If you’re going to keep interrupting me, then I’m not going to tell you.”

                                Well, I hear Marcus downstairs talking to Senator Larry Craig again. I guess I should close here. Marcus’ X-Gay program at his psychiatry firm is going veryFruitFly 6 well! Ever since he converted Pastor Ted Haggard to be one hundred percent heterosexual, he’s been getting lots of calls from Republicans from all over the country! State representative Bob Allen will be staying with us while he’s being treated by Marcus next month and Glenn Murphy will be visiting us in October!

                                Until next time…

                                Mrs. Michele Bush…

                                kissieskissieskissies

                                Australians/South Koreans Agree: Bush is an Idiot

                                bush doorIt’s nothing to be shocked about. Every time Bush goes to Asia, he makes a complete idiot of himself leaving with millions of Asians giggling behind their chopsticks and their rice bowls. In November 2005, the entire world got to see Bush leave the lectern, walk to a wall and try to open it. The Germans had a big laugh at the Texas-sized trailer-trash President with this YouTube here.The White House smugly ignores it while the rest of us hang our head in shame at Bush’s utter stupidity.

                                The APEC summit began with Bush making an ass of himself and the rest of the United States by taking his Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice and introducing her as his “date”. The equivalent of calling the Secretary of State his “cheap whore”. Rice, who accomplishes absolutely nothing, grins and delights in Bush’s fawning over her and goes along with it. Mrs. Bush stayed at home to practice peeling the adhesive papers from Nicotine patches with a pinched nerve in her neck and leaving Bush to travel to Australia stag. Instead, he took his mistress Condoleezza and proudly introduced her to heads of state as his “Girl Friday“. …Can you smell cheap perfume from here?

                                Bush’s entire trip completed with the same disastrous results. Yahoo/AP News couldn’t write a better script for Hollywood executives.

                                “Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit,” Bush said to Australian Prime Minister John Howard.

                                Oops. That would be APEC, the annual meeting of leaders from 21 Pacific Rim nations, not OPEC, the cartel of 12 major oil producers.

                                Bush stupidly tries to explain himself:Bush Dumb

                                Bush quickly corrected himself. “APEC summit,” he said forcefully, joking that Howard had invited him to the OPEC summit next year (for the record, an impossibility, since neither Australia nor the U.S. are OPEC members).

                                BUSTED!! The President of the United States just lied…again!

                                The president’s next goof went uncorrected — by him anyway. Talking about Howard’s visit to Iraq last year to thank his country’s soldiers serving there, Bush called them “Austrian troops.”

                                “Austrian troops?”. Is he drinking the bong-water again? Check out how they corrected this error…

                                That one was fixed for him. Though tapes of the speech clearly show Bush saying “Austrian,” the official text released by the White House switched it to “Australian.”

                                Then, speech done, Bush confidently headed out — the wrong way.

                                Again?! …Again?! This Presidential Idiot couldn’t find his way out of a brown paper-bag with a glass of ice water in his hand!!

                                He strode away from the lectern on a path that would have sent him over a steep drop. Howard and others redirected the president to center stage, where there were steps leading down to the floor of the theater.

                                <sigh> …he walks off the stage in the wrong direction…just like he did in China. He’s such a miserable embarrassment for this country. The Russians even got a laugh at our President in their national broadcast seen (in English!) here.

                                Everywhere POTUS went, he was met with protestors and security concerns or Australian comedians mocking him. (I found a 7-minute YouTube piece for an Australian comedy television program called “The Chaser” that notes the Bush Administration even misspelled the word “Sidney” on it’s documentation related to the APEC summit.) Even his speeches, officiating as the President of the United States, the audience applauds only when he’s left the stage as if to simply say; “Good…you’re finally gone.”

                                Later, Bush gets into a pissing match with South Korea’s President Roh Moo-hyun. Again, Yahoo/AP News:

                                Bush said that during his talks with Roh, he reaffirmed the U.S. position that Washington will consider the war formally over only when North Korean leader Kim Jong Il actually dismantles his nuclear program.

                                Whatever Roh heard Bush say through his translator, it wasn’t good enough.

                                “I think I did not hear President Bush mention the — a declaration to end the Korean War just now,” Roh said as cameras clicked and television cameras rolled.

                                Don’t worry President Roh. You’re translator has a lot of work here… The “Decider in Chief” has the English diction to that of a third grader. He makes up words for Chrissakes. How is a translator expected to translate …”Bushlish”?

                                Americans can’t understand him, we could hardly blame your translator.

                                Bush said he thought he was being clear, but obliged Roh and restated the U.S. position.

                                That wasn’t good enough either. “If you could be a little bit clearer in your message,” Roh said.

                                Bush, now looking irritated, replied: “I can’t make it any more clear, Mr. President. We look forward to the day when we can end the Korean War. That will end — will happen when Kim verifiably gets rid of his weapons programs and his weapons.”

                                And to think Republicans laughed about Bill Clinton’s foreign policies being a complete disaster.

                                The White House immediately downplayed the testy exchange and said the meeting went smoothly.

                                Does anybody need reminding of Bush’s trip to the G8Bush Gropes Merkel Summit last July where he tried to “message” Germany’s Chancellor Angela Merkel? She freaked out and it was quite obvious she’s disgusted by our President. A video of her reaction is here.

                                Bush’s last “big” trip of world leaders was November of last year with the Free Trade Area of the Americas in Argentina. The trip was a complete train-wreck as was this trip to APEC in Sydney. The Argentinian trip was complete with the largest protests in Argentinian history, a bucket-load of gaffs from the President himself and Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez outright mocking Bush by saying:

                                “The government had no evacuation plan. The world’s only superpower is so involved in Iraq …but left its own people adrift,” Chavez said on live TV. “And, that cowboy, the king of vacations, stayed at his ranch and said nothing but, ‘You have to flee’. It’s incredible.”

                                “The king of vacations”?! Dang! That’s brutal! Chavez when on by saying…

                                Chavez even joked to reporters that “he would sneak up on Bush and scare him”.

                                Bush left all of those national leaders three-days early. Embarrassed, dejected and tired of people hating him, Bush left and Chavez got the last dig:

                                “The great loser today was George W. Bush. The man went away wounded. You could see defeat on his face.”

                                Bush returned from the Argentinian summit to stump for an election campaign in Virginia for a guy named Jerry Kilgore. He arrived, much to the embarrassment of the Kilgore campaign, drunk off his ass and he gave the speech anyway. (Kilgore lost the race in a miserable contest giving the Democrat Tom Kain the win.)

                                There’s your POTUS, America!!! In fourteen months and three summits, FruitFly 6Bush has made a mockery of himself and the United States around the world!

                                At the time of writing, we have 499 days left of this stupid goat. I, for one, can’t wait to be rid of him.

                                Found on under a paintcan

                                I’ve been annoying a few fruit bowls in the kitchen and on thePaintcan dining room table lately. Being busy means that your blog sucks, but that’s what happens anyway. In the meantime the world continues to go on with or without you and that’s just the way it goes. So here’s what I found underneath a paintcan; hopefully you’ll be able to live a bigger and heartier life because of it.

                                Yellow Ribbon

                                BILL’O (again)

                                Bill O’Reilly invites a retired USA colonel onto his show to discuss the Iranians who’ve taken British military hostage. Colonel Ann Wright answers his questions as they’re presented to her. BillO immediately jumps at the opportunity to point out that the retired Colonel has an opinion and an answer to the questions, and they’re not the responses he was hoping to hear. Typical of BillO, he attacks the woman verbally, and then he cuts her mike and holds her image muted while he squirms with delight that he gets to have the last word. Please don’t be squeemish: Go on ahead and watch the video, it’s about 3 minutes long and you get the idea that Colonel Wright has been punked.

                                Why anybody would even want to be on televison with BillO? Perhaps Colonel Wright deserves the embarrassment.

                                On the other hand: I do have to admire people like Bill O’Reilly; it’s stunning how well he demostrates his ability to Support Our Troops.

                                Monica-Gate version 2.0

                                Monica Goodling, a US Dept of Justice official is the liason between the Oval Office and US Attorney General’s office. She’s also a product of Regent University, that’s Pat Robertson and the 700 Club. So it’s safe to say that she’s really a liason between all three offices.

                                Two weeks ago, while the Gonzalez Lying to Congress case was just getting altitude in the media, Ms. Goodling was quick to aquire an attorney who was even quicker to tell the media that Ms. Goodling was planning on pleading the 5th Amendment.

                                “The potential for legal jeopardy for Ms. Goodling from even her most truthful and accurate testimony under these circumstances is very real,” said the lawyer, John Dowd.

                                Hrmm…What’s wrong with this picture?! Oh that’s right! Goodling’s attorney forgot! You can’t claim the 5th Amendment right to avoid indicting someone else. You can only plead the 5th to avoid incriminating yourself!(These Regent University students, they’re dumber after they graduate than they were before they were assigned a dorm room!)

                                House Judiciary Chairman John Conyers (D-MI) and Sub-Committee Chairwoman Linda Sanchez (D-CA) had a short meet-n-greet today and fired off a letter explaining the rules to Goodling and her attorney.

                                As McJoan of DailyKos pointed out; the Republicans weren’t always so keen on that option of pleading the 5th. But of course, the 5th Amendment was only included in the US Constitution for the convenience of Republicans!

                                Bush lies to the people of the United States (again)Bush knew

                                Aravosis, quickly becoming on of my favorite people on the Internet points out the obvious. In today’s speech to the U.S., Bush complained bitterly about how the Democrats in Congress shouldn’t be meddling in the affairs of war, giving him a bill filled with “pork”, blah blah blah.

                                But interesting is that Bush stated that the surge in troops was at the request of the generals on the ground in Iraq. And it’s Aravosis who points out that this is a bold-faced lie:

                                Bush just spoke to the nation, trying to convince the public to support his Iraq quagmire, and he claimed again that the surge, the escalation, was the idea of his commanders in the field, and he’s just following their advice.

                                In fact, all of the Joint Chiefs, the heads of the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines, ALL opposed the surge.

                                In fact, everybody from the people in Iraq (including Maliki himself) have expressed their opposition to a surge in troops. The American people voted against anymore of this crap in Iraq, the Iraq Study Group has opposed anymore meddling in this Iraqi Civil War (that Bush started) and Congress have all expressed opposition to any continuance in this war of his.

                                Aravosis nails the last spike into the coffin with this tidbit:

                                And remember, it was just a few months ago, that the commanders on the ground were SO opposed to the surge that Bush came out and said, for the first time, that he WOULDN’T listen to commanders on the ground anymore.

                                Sweedish couple to name their newborn child “Metallica”

                                Michael and Karolina Tomaro are in a fight for their right to name their newborn baby girl “Metallica” after the legendary rock band. The Sweedish government’s tax office has refused to let them name the child with such an ugly moniker.

                                Lower office authorities have backed the couple’s right to name their child anything they want, however the Sweedish National Tax Board has refused to register the name. What’s even more bizarre about the story is that:

                                The couple was backed by the County Administrative Court in Goteborg, which ruled on March 13 that there was no reason to block the name. It also noted that there already is a woman in Sweden with Metallica as a middle name.

                                I love this story so much because I’m thinking about Mr. and Mrs. Frank Zappa naming their kid Moon Unit. In the phone book, you have to look up “Zappa, Moon Unit.” And here comes a listing for “Tomaro Metallica”.

                                I wonder what they’ll name their next kid. “Flock of Seagulls”? “Imperial Drag”? Oh! Oh! Let me!! Let me!

                                ehem: “Barenaked Ladies”!

                                Mormons to Cheney: Even we hate you now

                                Just back in December, I found the article discussing the fact that Southern Methodist University had told the Bush Administration that they will not allow the “Bush Library” to be built on their campus. SMU, Laura (“Pickles”) Bush’s alma matre, has been approached by the White House with the current Adminstration looking for an appropriate place to house massive amounts of quality editions of “My Pet Goat. SMU, not willing to be the embarrassment of academia by allowing the Bush Legacy to be a pox on their campus, has told the White House that they’re certainly not too interested in the prospect.

                                Now, Wonkette points to the fact that yet another religious university has begun to object to Darth Vader, the Vice President of the United States, from visiting their campus.

                                Brigham Young University, the fake college where kids from the Church of Jesus of Latter Day Saints can go to receive their worthless degree without ever having to be exposed to a single idea contrary to their upbringing, has apparently inched itself closer to reality: they know Vice President Dick Cheney is an evil vampire hellbent on conquering the earth and eating our children.

                                To quote Wonkette’s quote who quoted:

                                The private university, which is owned by the Mormon church, has “a heavy emphasis on personal honesty and integrity in all we do,” said Warner Woodworth, a professor at BYU’s business school. “Cheney just doesn’t measure up.”

                                Romney Family PhotoI think the Mormon church has finally shown their trump card: Buying the presidency via Mass Governor Mitt Romney makes it all the more important that they distance themselves from The Bush Co as quickly as possible.

                                It’s fascinating how quickly Jesus can hate you these days. There used to be a time when Jesus loved the Bush Administration. Now they’re treated like .. ehem “a leper”.

                                I think John Smith would probably turn over in his grave if he knew his disciples were acting like ordinary Christians.

                                Me

                                Gossip

                                Gossip 5Ida: There she is… over there.

                                Nora: Mom! Don’t start.

                                Ida: I’m serious! Look at her! Witch…

                                Nora: Mother!

                                Ida: What?! At least I didn’t use the “B” word… witch…..

                                Nora: Mom, I’m going to change my clothes and I’m going home. Tim is working late and I have to pay the babysitter…

                                Ida: “…women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.” First Corinthians 14, versus 34 and 35. And there she goes right across the floor over to that medicine ball excercize.

                                Nora: Mom! Leave Senator Bachmann alone and quit yelling Scripture. Our trainer will hear us. Look, I don’t like her either and I agree, she is repulsive. But, she’s obviously here at the gym getting a nice workout with some honest excercize and work up a sweat. That’s all…now can we leave?

                                Ida: I’m just saying. Michele Bachmann… She’s real quick to tell you that gays can’t have rights in this country, and then she’ll tell you how much she hates our country because she has to pay taxes… “Render unto Ceasear what is Ceasar! Matthew 22:21!! ”

                                Nora: Shhhhhhh! You think they heard you in Milwaukee?! Look, the joke is on her. She gets up in front of the church congregation, gets the minister to endorse her as his selection to vote, and now the church is under investigation to remove it’s non-profit status. I actually thought it was funny when it was noted in the news that neither the minister of the church nor the church itself are within Michele Bachmann’s 6th Congressional district.

                                Ida: <chuckeling> …Witch. Remember that campaign ad she had just a few weeks ago: “And I’ll work to reduce government regulations…” I should have sent her a bag of California leaf spinach and a recipe for fried E-coli.

                                Nora: <giggling> I’m still laughing about that YouTube video where she gets wide-eyed and yells “I’M A FOOL FOR GOD!” Did you see that?

                                Ida: <choking on a drink from her water-bottle and laughing> And she says: “Ah’m Hot for Jesus!

                                Nora: <giggling louder> Shh! She’s looking at us, shush…

                                Ida: <cackling loudly and rudely> …And to think; she’s a former tax-attorney for the IRS.

                                Nora: Mother! Shush! <snickering>

                                Ida: <giggeling modestly> I’m just saying Darling… She brings her Bible into her politics and demands your brother Michael do without the rights to have a marriage with his life partner while she slops around in front of church congregations yelling “I’m on fire for God!!”. How can she preach her religion in our law-books about homosexuality when she gets up in church services begging for votes and her own Bible says Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says!!!?
                                Nora: Okay, now that time I’m sure she heard you. <giggling> Did you talk to Michael and Mike yesterday?

                                Ida: Of course she heard me, did you see that weird look she just gave us? And, don’t change the subject. Your brother and brother-not-in-law are both fine. Mike’s on a new medication and the doctor warned him it was his last of the three cocktail drugs. Oh! Didn’t tell you; Michael’s getting that promotion at work! Thank the Good Lord above that his job comes with domestic partnership benefits.

                                Nora: You think she’ll beat Patty Wetterling?

                                Bush on XanaxIda: I doubt it. Rumor has it that Hillary Rodham Clinton’s coming here to help Patty, and Laura Bush is coming here to help out … the Witch. Humph… The First Lady Xanax Queen is coming to Minnesota to stump for the Grand Old Hypocrit.

                                Nora: <gasp> Mother!

                                Ida: <grinning> I was reading Norwegianity after lunch today, and I got all upset all over again. It’s just way too much fun what the bloggers are saying about her. Did you see that Michele Bachmann landed her face on that MSNBC Keith Olbermann show as “Worst Person in the World“?! Unbelievable, one of our own state senators can get her mugshot on Keith Olbermann’s “worst person” list for that “come to Jesus and I’m on fire for God!” speech last week at that Living Word church.Habeus Corpse

                                Nora: Olbermann blasted the Republicans with that piece the other day about Habeus Corpus. Did you see that?

                                Ida: Michael emailed me the YouTube clip. Congress belly-ups the United States Constitution and Habeus Corpus while sitting comfortably their behinds watching ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. Oh look…there she goes talking to Trudy at the cash register…Let me guess, she’s going to tell Trudy that she’s a “…Fool for Jesus!

                                Nora: Lower your voice Mother. <sigh> Well, you can eavesdrop on her all you want. I still have a babysitter at home who’s waiting to clean out my wallet.

                                Ida: <grabbing her arm> No, wait Darling.. Look, Bible-thumping Bachmann is headed on over to stationary bicycles. You think we can get her some training-wheels?

                                Nora: <giggling> Mother, your encouragable. You can despise that woman all you want, it isn’t going to matter anyway. Besides, you’re one to talk about Bible versus and ignoring that one that says you should love your enemies.

                                Ida: Oh phhhh-you. <grinning> It also says to “suffer the little children, for they are precious”. Did you see whatEphelba Michele Bachmann said after the news broke about that disgusting pedophile Congressman Mark Foley? Patty Wetterling blew a gasket and immediate condemned that pervert’s actions against that little boy and paid for an advertisement stating so that aired everywhere the following day. Michele Bachmann? She was quoted in the press to say, how did that go? Oh! I remember, the Wicked Witch of the East said; “Wetterling’s focus on the issue has been opportunistic and called the ad “a rush to judgment.” It’s disgusting. Michele Bachmann would ignore the life of that teenage boy and the horror Foley put him through and ask for caution in jumping to conclusions on judgeing one of her own sick-kind. The minute I heard how Bachmann said that we shouldn’t be so quick to judge Congressman Foley, I thought to myself; “Oh Lord….and she brags openly on the fact that she and her husband have been foster parents to over 20 children during their marriage…how much caution to judge would she have if it was one of her own children?”

                                Nora: I almost vomited when they said Foley emailed that boy and asked him to measure his genitalia and take photos of himself. What kind of monsters have been living in our hallowed halls of Congress?

                                Ida: <pointing to Michele Bachmann> It’s those kinds of monsters!

                                Minnesota RallyNora: It’s stunning, actually. And quit making a scene.

                                Ida: What is Darling?

                                Bachmann closeNora: That she can get elected to the State Senate and act the way she has towards gay and lesbian people. According to her; same-sex marriage threatens our Constitutional liberties. Michael said that he and Mike were the ones who took that photo of Michele Bachmann hiding behind the bushes peek-a-booing the GLBT Lobby Days celebrations on the capitol lawns two years ago. And then Michele Bachmann made up that huge lie about getting trapped in the ladies room at a restaurant and a couple of “lesbians harassed her”.

                                Ida: I still don’t understand why she wasn’t cited for that.

                                Nora: For what?

                                Ladies RoomIda: For that incident! She said she went into the ladies room where two lesbians accosted her and harassed her for her position on gay marriage. Then she went home and filed a complaint with the Washington County Sheriff’s office. Then the following day, demanded that the Capitol Police give her a body guard because of the alleged incident. Isn’t there some kind of crime for filing a false police report? LIAR!!

                                Nora: Mother! Quit yelling. I’m heading home. You and Daddy coming over tomorrow evening for dinner with Michael, Mike, Tim and the kids? …I’m making you favorite! Lasagna.

                                Ida: Of course we’ll be there Darling. I’ll bring a pumpkin pie. Are you still going with me Thursday evening to the DL meeting?

                                Nora: DL?

                                Ida: DL! Sure! Drinking Liberally! Remember I told you? Last week I went for the first time…and I got to meet the woman who put up that website “Dump Michele Bachmann dot com“.

                                Nora: No! You didn’t tell me Mother. You’re saying that you and Daddy actually went to a bar? ..and you were drinking?!?!

                                Ida: Oh no no no Darling… Daddy didn’t go with me! I went by myself!!

                                Fruit Fly