Baptist Pastor Practice (It’s a Gay Fest Without the Drag-Queens)

I had to take some “time-out” time with Jesus’ General and catch up on what that liberal-Communist has been posting on his very heterosexual blog-site.  It’s been a tough-week.

Fortunately for me; I usually don  a crucifix around my neck before my visitations with The General.  Also typical, I leave with a scalding hot shower complete with sulphuric acid bath,  and a quick rinse of glycerin purchased from plastic surgeons selling human fat-tissue in the back ally-ways of Malibu, California.

Check out his “Baptist Pastor” series.

This “Holy Dipshit” is so anti-abortion and so “pro-life” that not only will he kick the ass of any false profit from his living room, he’ll actually finish up his 2-minute sermon with a prayer to God Almighty to kill any false-prophet and send that person’s soul to a permenant damnation in Hell.  (…Because God is Love, and Jesus was a pascifist, of course!  That’s just how his “Holy Trinity” rolls!)

Here’s another Baptist-preacher (freak).  This dude is upset because Pepsi Co., (No More Wire Hangars-Joan Crawford of Mommy Dearest Fame) has donated money to GLAD (Gay, Lesbian Against Defimation).

Pepsi is for queers?  Stop drinking Pepsi because the the company donated $500,000 to a non-profit group?.

Look – you add some vodka to that can of Pepsi and that pissed off Baptist-preacher will have his Underoos pulled down around his ankles  faster than Miss Piggy could find a can of Vasaline and Kermit could pop a handful of Cialis.  The whole image is so gay, I’m expecting someone to show up in the camera-shot and offer me a brown-paper bag to stowe my clothes and join the homo-orgy.

Even the crazy-voices behind the camera exuberate homo-eroticsm. It’s a testosterone overdoes of Crazy.

And finally, a photo that was obviously posted by Senator John McCain (R-AZ) sometime around last-Mothers Day that bears mentioning:

I love it!  “Mom and Rubbers”!

Cucumbers and dill.

Basil and tomato.

Pizza and Beer.

Mom and Condoms.

Who really needed to go there?  Seriously.

Fox News: Mark Sanford is a “Democrat”!

Talk about sloppy journalism…  Those folks over at Fox – check it out!


They put a “D” behind his name!!!

You know – it seems like this happens at Fox News a lot!  They keep bungling up the “crawl” and putting a “D” behind the Republican’s name trying to pretend it was an innocent mistake!

Remember this?

Or this little gem from February 2008, when McCain still was hated Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and the rest of the Republican Thugs:

Brad Friedman said:

Fox “News”, of course, tells Newser (re: the Foley Flubbed-Photo) that “this was gross incompetence by a producer — nothing more.” In the Foley matter, they said “it was an honest mistake,” and thus never bothered to issue an on-air correction or apology.

Here’s one where Fox News mis-identifies Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) as a Republican and Lincoln Chaffe (R-R.I.) as a Democrat.

With these repeated mistakes, one would think that an intelligent news agency would simply terminate the employ of incompetancy like this.  There’s an obvious track-record of screwing up the political party identity – perhaps someone over at Fox News’ Human Resources should step in and restore Fox News’ good name as a professional news source!

fruitfly21Of course; Fox News could admit to being an amateur news agency.  Much better appeal than acting like they’re  being managed by junior high children who are more concerned with acne medication than they are with any sort of professional journalism with a story to tell its audience.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Good Riddance

Denny Hasterts Resignation LetterIt goes into effect 10:59PM CST Tonight. We won’t miss him.

Illinois’ biggest embarrassment took the Speaker of the House position in Januay 1999, he’s made a mockery of it and the rest of the U.S.

“Fat” Denny’s credit goes towards in “international foreign policy”. Four months after his ascension as Speaker of the House, Hastert said:

At the same time Congress was attaching human rights conditions to U.S. security assistance programs and negotiating a formal end-use monitoring agreement with the Colombian defense ministry, other lawmakers were secretly assuring Colombian officials that they felt such restrictions were unwarranted, and would work to either remove the conditions or limit their effectiveness.

One example of this was a congressional delegation led by Rep. Dennis Hastert (R-IL) which met with Colombian military officials, promising to “remove conditions on assistance” and complaining about “leftist-dominated” U.S. congresses of years past that “used human rights as an excuse to aid the left in other countries.” Hastert said he would to correct this situation and expedite aid to countries allied in the war on drugs and also encouraged Colombian military officials to “bypass the U.S. executive branch and communicate directly with Congress.

Ah yes. Speaker of the House Denny Hastert is telling Columbia and everybody else: “You all ignore the President of the United States from now on. You have a problem – you come directly to me.” Does this sound like a Republican coup d’état to you? One has to wonder: If Nancy Pilosi would have said anything remotely like this to say…”Iraq” – do you think the Republicans in this country would simply shrug it off, ignore it and move on along?

After Hurrican Katrina wiped out New Orleans, Denny Hastert decided that it didn’t make any sense to rebuild the city (after all, it was King George who kept the money allocated to replace and repair New Orleans’ levee and spent it on his Iraqi (Oil) War in spite of the many warnings of that disaster). Hastert said:

“It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed,” the Illinois Republican said in an interview Wednesday with the Daily Herald of Arlington Heights, Ill.

That’s Fat Denny’s “Domestic Agenda”!Fat Denny

Hastert was told one year prior to the Mark Foley page scandal, and yet he told nobody on the left of the Congressional aisle. Mark Foley (R-FL) was allowed his sexual predatory behavior towards minors in the page program and Hastert did nothing about it. One former aid, Kirk Fordham said in an interview that he notified Hastert’s office three years prior to the scandal breaking out! The ethics panel investigated the case, (having no power over Foley because he bailed out of Congress) resulted in saying:

The committee found that there was “a disconcerting unwillingness to take responsibility for resolving issues regarding Representative Foley’s conduct.” Those in the chain of command, the report said, “did far too little, while attempting to pass the responsibility for acting to others.”

But never fear, the panel said that Denny Hastert may have been negligent, but:

But the panel also concluded that neither Mr. Hastert nor other officers of the House had violated any House rules, and recommended no sanctions for their failure to stop Mr. Foley’s conduct.

It’s been people like Denny Hastert and the Republican leadership in both the WhiteFruitFly House and Congress that explains why they lost Congress to the Democrats in 2006. Did I tell you that Denny Hastert also took $100,000 in donations from Jack Abramoff and his lobbying firm? I didn’t? Sorry.

Good bye Denny Hastert! Return to the sewer from wherever you came!! You were an embarrassment to your state and to the United States!! We won’t miss you!! We promise!

 

Another Republican Cockroach Avoiding the 2008 Congressional Bug-Bomb

Fat DennyDennis Hastert (a.k.a. “Fat Denny”) has just announced he’s planning on resigning his position from the United States House of Representatives before the end of 2007.

Hastert initially planned to make an announcement Thursday, but has since scrapped that decision, according to one GOP aide. The former US Speaker, who announced his plans to retire over the summer, is still expected to leave the House some time in December, but the date of his departure – as well as his announcement – remains unclear.

cockroachHastert, best known for his failure to find anything wrong with Republican colleague and alleged pedophile, Mark Foley (R-FL) in spite of the overwhelming evidence, becomes the 17th Republican to cut and run from their responsibilities as an elected official. Hastert’s departure marks the second Congressman and Republican from Illinois to announce their departure. On September 21, Jerry Weller (R-IL) announcedFruitFly 6 his departure from the US House of Representatives, speculating the mounting list of investigations he’s been buried under. Howie over at DownWithTyranny predicts that Don Manzullo (IL-16, Rockford and the extreme NW of the state) will be the 18th GOP to ditch leave their post.

The End of Another “GOP Jesus Cartel”??!

mexican fruit flies

This is a blog entry to discuss the modern day Pharisees and Sadducees. There’s a story in the New Testament where Jesus enters the Temple to pray and He’s mobbed by these “Holy Retailers” demanding He pay them outrageous amounts of money for the phoniest religious lies and preying on His fears that God won’t love him unless He forks over the $$$-Cash. They gang-up on The Christ and try to pressure Him into thinking that God’s Love can be purchased by buying fatter lambs to sacrifice and try to con Him into paying for these stupid useless trinkets.

Christ goes a little berzerk and He busts down their “shopping areas” and He probably threw a few punches during the scene. These Pharisees and Sadducees were people who yelled and preached to the sinners entering the Temple of the Lord that God would not love them if they didn’t spend all of their money on the trinkets and fattest animals that they had available for sacrifice.

They took the poor people’s money out of fear and sold them bag of lies. And they lived gluttonous and greedy lives.

In this blog entry, let’s see if you can pick out the modern day Pharisees and Sadducees. I’ll try to leave you a few little hints along the way, so keep an eye peeled out for them. For these are the people that Jesus Christ would show up, destroy their market-places and violently stomp on their trinkets and probably throw a few punches during the scene.

Trivial Pursuit! Who said:

“We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit … is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion.”

Trivial PursuitIf you guessed “Ri¢hard (a.k.a. The Di¢k) Robert$”, you may help yourself to a Blue Pie piece and place it inside of your pie (hole).

But before we get into it, let’s take a stroll back in time…a little over a year and a half to be exact.

In January 3, 2006, Lonnie Latham, senior pastor of the $outh Tul$a Bapti$t ¢hur¢h was arrested for public lewdness from an undercovered male police officer in the parking lot of The Habana Inn, an area well known for chance same-sex encounters. Latham, who was serving as an executive on the $outhern Bapti$st ¢onvention at the time,Lonnie Latham complained that he was being harassed by police (for his religion) and that he was only missionarying to the “Heathens” in the area. Said Latham:

“I was involved in a prayer ministry in that area, and I had a dialogue with police,” he said, according to the website of the Daily Oklahoman newspaper. “The officer made many suggestions.”

haggard the horribleObviously, the police report disagreed with Latham’s version and said he offered more than prayer. He offered to pay for a hotel room and a great night of man-on-man action.

Latham plead not guilty a month later and in front of a non-jury. “Activist” Special Judge Roma McElwee, who said her ruling was based on the evidence and not on the issue of the constitutionality of the law in question, dropped the charges against Latham. (Hint: He was issued a traffic citation a year before at the same “no-tell Motel” address for failing to stop at a stop sign. Apparently, he offers “prayer services” more than we need to know!)

GOPBut this was a problem for the Tulsa Je$u$ ¢artel and Ri¢hard Robert$. Latham’s arrest was too close to Robert$’ back-yard and it was a problem for him and his own Plutarchy at Oral Robert$ Univer$ity. So the ORU Pre$ident tapped a professor at Oral Robert$ Univer$ity to rally some students to guarantee Robert$ would have his own puppet as Tulsa’s mayor.

Thirteen days after Latham’s arrest, ORU Professor Tim Brooker produced an email message addressed a few hundred students, faculty and administrators encouraging them to help with Republican Randi Miller’s campaign for Tulsa mayor. To read the original email, you can click here.

From now one, Robert$ would be able to protect his buddies at the Grand Ole’ Pervert as they came through Tulsa. You’ll never hear a Larry Craig story coming out of Tulsa! With his control over the city, he had successfully created his own Je$u$-¢entered military junta.

Someone filed an IRS complaint against ORU for campaigning for a politician as a non-profit entity. Robert$ ran to his patsy, Dr Tim Brooker, and demanded that he be the “fall guy” in a press release. Robert$ hoped to sweep the IRS investigation quickly under the table. Brooker refused, and it pissed off the “Sheriff of Nottingham” and things began to boil.

Brooker and his wife had managed to rouse up a total of 50 students, faculty and ORU to campaign for Randi Miller.

Enter the newest crook: $tephanie Cante$e. She an employee of Oral Roberts Ministries, part-time real estate agent and sister to Lind$ay Robert$, approached one of those student campaign workers and said something like this:

“Ummm…I’m far too Sanctified in Jesus’ Love to find my way to a Geek Squad office at Best Buy and have my laptop computer fix. Ummm…would you fix it for me?! My sister Lindsay was right…You **are** cute! Turn around, let me see your ass. Ohhh…you’re a hottie – do you have a girlfriend?! Can I be your girlfriend? Turn around again, let me see that hot little ass of yours. Ohhhh… So can yo fix my laptop or not?!?”

The student obliged. And being a damned good computer-jock, he backed-up her hard drive to another machine and resolved the problem. While pushing the backed up files to their original hard drive, the student comes across a report that disturbs the shit out of him. He prints a copy and takes it to his professor: Dr. Tim Brooker.astonished

Here’s where you need to play a scary-music chord in your head.

DUM -DA – DUUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Brooker, his wife Paulita and Dr John Swails, professor and chair and of the History, Humanities and Government Department at ORU sat down with the Cante$e report and had a very long talk. Later, Brooker told reporters:

The report “poses a real grave threat to the university,” Brooker said. “. . . I fear for ORU’s survival, and if they don’t make some very significant changes administratively, there won’t be an ORU.”

Brooker, his wife and Swails approached ORU’s Administration where they produced the report and explained where it came from and expressed their concern about the overall well being of ORU and the students who bust their ass to get a good education and a respectable diploma. Paulita Brooker and Swails were both summarily fired in a matter of a few days, and Swails states that Dr. Brooker was squeezed out of his job within a few weeks.

So much for those pesky “Whistleblower Laws”!

For the life of me, I can not find why $tephanie Cante$e wrote the report, nor why she had it on her laptop in the first place. But what was on the report makes Ri¢hard Robert$ original comment about “intimidation, extortion and blackmail” a whopper of a joke. Because what he said was true: The lawsuit is based on these things, but it’s him and his wife who are guilty of the intimidation, extortion and the blackmail.

Lind$ey Robert$, the University’s favorite mattress, has taken extortion to an all time high. Including billing ORU for cell-phones she handed out to her own underaged boy-toys and text-messaging them continually, sitting up until 3:00AM.

The report lists the following:Dunce

One of Ri¢hard and Lind$ay Robert$’ children vandalized and removed athletic department equipment from ORU property.

University and ministries employees regularly do the homework of the Robert$’ children.

On this note, I would think the US Dept of Ed would remove ORU’s accreditation. But think about this for a second: “Mom!! I want to go shopping!!” “Did you finish your homework?!” “I don’t wanna do my homework, I wanna go shopping!!” <sigh> “Let me call your professor and make him come over and do your homework for you…Do you need the keys to the Land Rover?!”

ORU paid $29,411 for one Robert$ daughter to vacation with friends in Florida and the Bahamas and use the ORU jet for transportation.

“Mom!!!! I want a party in the Bahamas!” “Did you do your homework?!” “I don’t want to do my homework…I want a party and I want it in the Bahamas!” <sigh> “Let me call your professors so they can do your homework and let me see if the Lear is available! …Have you seen the keys to the Land Rover?!?!?”

Lind$ay Robert$ routinely uses ministries security personnel during personal vacations.

Lind$ay Robert$ awarded 13 non-need-based scholarships to friends of her children, two of whom had test scores below ORU’s admission requirement; and more.

Another reason the US Dept of Ed should be removing ORU’s Accredidation. Not only are her children not getting an education because their professors are simply giving them a free-pass – but her children are hanging out with other people’s children who are too fucking stupid to pass the ORU entrance exams!

Pam Spaulding writes for the Pandagon that includes other complaints:

A longtime maintenance employee was fired so that an underage male friend of Mrs. Robert$ could have his position.

Lind$ay Robert$ has a very weird connection going on with under-aged boys… Is there a connection between her and Mark Foley (R-FL)?!

Mrs. Robert$ spent more than $39,000 at one Chico’s clothing store alone in less than a year, and had other accounts in Texas and California. $he also repeatedly said, “As long as I wear it once on TV, we can charge it off.” The document cites inconsistencies in clothing purchases and actual usage on TV.

“Oooh….You’re so clever Lindsey. And here all this time, thought you had “a Gay” that was picking out your couture! But shopping at Chico’s **and** getting a tax write-off!!?!? That’s just super-fabulous!!!”

Mrs. Robert$ was given a white Lexus SUV and a red Mercedes convertible by ministry donors.

“Ministry Doners” is code for “your grandmother and grandfather who are in nursing homes giving these charlatans your inheritance because you haven’t visited them in over a year”.

The university and ministry maintain a stable of horses for exclusive use by the Robert$’ children.

“Mom! I wanna go out to the barns and ride horses!” “Have you finished your homework?!” “No. Can’t you just call my professor and have him come over and do my homework for me?” <sigh> “RICHARD! The girls want to go ride horses! Can you call their professors to finish their homework?!” “Mom!! Let’s go!” “RICHARD!! Have you seen the keys to the Land Rover?!”

The Robert$’ home has been remodeled 11 times in the past 14 years.

KOTV News (Tulsa, OK) has their story on the reaction from the students, who are obviously scared about the future of their alma mater. I found a PDF for the original lawsuit against the ORU/Robert$ Klan here. A video of KOTV’s original airing can be found here.

In a story that shadows ORU, Dr. John Swains and the National GOP: Blogger sleuth “Batesline” shows that the GOP was impressed with ORU students in being able to get the (GOP) vote out. Batesline shows that as far back as 2002, the National Republican Convention was recruiting ORU students to board buses and worked on hotly contested campaigns in Denver and for Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi.

Body SnatchersOther Regents for ORU include tele-evangelists such as: Kenneth ¢opeland, ¢reflo Dollar, Jerry $avelle, Benny Hinn, John Hagee, Marilyn Hi¢key, Je$$e Duplanti$. Which of course means, positively nothing will happen to the Robert$e$.

Those named in the lawsuit include: Oral Robert$ University, Ri¢hard Robert$, Provost Mark Lewandow$ki, Dean Wendy $hirk and Vice Provost Jeff Ogle (who once had a sexual harassment complaint filed against him).

Ri¢hard Robert$ said: “We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit … is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion.” and he was absolutely correct.  The Robert$ blackmailed the professors, tried to intimidate them, and they extorted their ORU students and their religious “TV viewing” audience to pad their lives wanton gluttony.  They’ve preached hatred against gay men and women, preached lies about what God’s Word said and they’ve terrorized their followers into giving them money so they could wear fine clothes, let their children cheat, and have intimate relationships with under aged boys at the school.  These are the modern day Pharisees and Sadducees.

Of all of the researched conducted on this blog, I found one redeemable soul who is a Baptist Minister from the Oklahoma area that’s worth the read. He’s obviously heart-broken by this debacle, but he makes a note worth recognizing:

He said:FruitFly 6

In regards to the ORU lawsuit, we can only hope that it will purify the university and the Robertses without creating a huge burden on all other non-profits as a result. Remember, Richard, it’s all God’s money. When a “ministry” becomes more about money than missions, you have a mess that embarrasses all Christians, because much of the population doesn’t distinguish between the prosperity gospelizers and those of us trying to preach the historical Christian faith. Sad.

“Sad” is an understatement.

Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville”

Rita SkeeterA few years ago, Minneapolis Star-Tribune hired a “conservative” voice for the paper – what they ended up with was a dolt. Katherine Kersten’s writings are poorly researched, her facts are dubious at best and her conservative values forces her into the Land of Hypocrisies. I remember one of her earliest columns where she finger-wagged her critics that picking on her because of her religion was strictly off-base. Yet, since the Imams story broke last year, Kersten routinely ridicules and/or marginalizes the Muslim faith. If there’s an update on the lawsuit the Imams have filed, Kersten’s on top of it. Did I already complain about her lack of factual information? Oh good, I did.

Because today’s column is no different. In her piece: “PlentyBlack Garbage Fly of surprises in Ghost Town of political moderates“, she writes…an allegory(?) about moderate Republicans who are leaving Congress and it reminds her of a “ghost town”. It’s a really stupid column that’s factually flawed but packed with complaints about liberal blogs like DailyKos, liberal groups like Move-On and the DLC. She notes that Minnesota’s 3rd CD Jim Ramstad’s departure reminds her of a ghost town and finishes with this paragraph:

Today, there’s a regular stampede of moderates running for office. But they are more likely to wear a red Republican R brand than a blue D

Huh?! What does this have to do with a ghost town? And the facts are once again; completely wrong.

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #1: There is a stampede going on — And the stamped is Republicans switching to become Democrats. Most recently in Texas, Represenative Kirk England of Grand Prairie announced his leaving the Republican Party and will caucus for Democrats from now on. England said with his middle finger in the air:

“After one session in the House, I found that the Republican leadership in Austin had no tolerance for the values and priorities of the folks I represent.

Note to Katherine Kersten: This is a quote from a Texan!

Last October, The Washington Post wrote a story that nine Republicans in Kansas have switched to the Democrat Party. In the piece entitled “Moderates in Kansas Decide They’re Not in GOP Anymore“, it noted that Mark Parkinson, the former Chair of the Kansas GOP has walked out of the party and ran for Lieutenant Governor with Kathleen Sebelius as a Democrat. And guess what – he won. The former GOP chairman of Kansas runs as a Democrat for Lt Governor and wins?!?!? He won?!?

We can’t even paint Kansas a deep-purple Red anymore…It’s Bluer than my Ben Franklin Purple-heart pin!!!

Last August 3, 2006, a rumor started that State Senatormosquito Nancy Riley of Oklahoma was trading her big red “R” brand for a shiny blue “D” brand because she was sick of the way the GOP had been treating her. By the end of the day, she switched and said this:

Riley says she was completely ignored by the Republican caucus during this year’s legislative session. She believes her treatment is because of her moderate views and because she’s a woman.

Note to Katherine Kersten:

Watch out Honey!! With the number of moderate Republicans stampeding to wear a big Blue “D” brand, you’re likely to get run over!!

Update #3: The term “RINO”, or “Republican In Name Only” shows up on ABC’s “Brothers and Sisters” program in Episode #25. The Walker family is heading to San Diego to reclaim a family-member and Kitty Walker (Republican-Calista Flockhart insists on tuning in the family car auto to a Konservative Radio Talk-Jock who makes animal noises when describing Ms. Walker’s fiance’. When asked about the noises, Kitty says; “It’s a rhinoceros” and her gay brother says: “I get it…RINO…”Republican In Name Only”.)

Updated #2: In Fairfax, VA, State Senator Jeannemarie Devolites Davis (R) is now running around calling herself a “RINO“: Republican In Name Only. In a district that’s regarded the most affluent in the state, Republicans watch it turning Blue and their state senator knows she can’t win on a Republican ticket.

Voters backed Democrats in the past two gubernatorial elections and went for U.S. Sen. Jim Webb last November.

JIm Hovland

Update #1: Ohhhhh…SNAP!! Big E from MnBlue just slapped me with a Comment. Apparently, Edina, MN mayor Jim Hovland is another “moderate Republican” who just might run for Ramstad’s Congressional seat… As a Democrat! How could I have missed that one?!?! I…Why I must have had a “Kersten-Sized brain-fart and forgot to do my research!”

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #2: Kersten said:

Rep. Jim Ramstad of the Third Congressional District, who recently announced his retirement, is the latest to star in this tragic/heroic role.

Wrong. If Kersten bothered fact-checking herself, she would have discovered that the Star-Tribune reported Ramstad’s departure was on the 17th of September. One Friday Setember 21st, Jerry Weller (R-IL) of th 11th Congressional District announced he will not be seeking a re-election, making Congress Weller the latest star that is “stampeding” out of Congress. To make the fact even more painful, Weller’s stepping down is in a large part because of the amount of investigations and allegations against him.

mosquito…In fact: A watchdog group has declared Weller one of the most corrupt members of Congress, there’s a subpoena in a former colleague’s bribery trial and criticism from not revealing to Congress the extent of Nicaraguan land purchases.

Other Republicans “stampeding” out of Congress so far includes Conservative Republican John Warner of Virginia and Moderate Republican Chuck Hagel of Nebraska.

Now what about this allegory of a “Ghost Town” of moderate Republicans? What would Katherine Kersten’s thriving little “Republicanville” town look like?

houseflyRep. Ken Calvert (R-CA) ,Rep. John T. Doolittle (R-CA), Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), Rep. Doc Hastings (R-WA), Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA), Rep. Gary G. Miller (R-CA), Rep. Timothy F. Murphy (R-PA), Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM), Rep. Rick Renzi (R-AZ), Rep Harold Rogers (R-KY), Rep Don Young (R-AK), Rep Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-CA), Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) and Rep. Heather A. Wilson (R-NM) would be headed to jail and/or under investigation by the local town sheriff. This includes both of Alaska’s Republican US Senators Ted Stevens and Lisa Murkowski, Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Kentucky’s Republican Senator Mitch McConnell.

Oklahoma Co Sheriff Republicanville would be jam-packed with Preachers who love the town whores. Preachers like Ted Haggard, Lonnie Latham and Coy Privette all enjoying adultery while finger-wagging the townsfolk all about the sins listed in the Bible. The only town’s preacher who isn’t sleeping with a prostitute is the town drunk who’s wearing a skirt and urinating against the local theater. And the sheriff arrested him once and the preacher offered fellatio on the sheriff and his deputy.

In fact, prostitution would seem to be the only industry inhousefly Kersten’s Republicanville that thrives!

Shoot! You can even get a discount from one of the Local Madam’s whores just by mentioning David Vitter’s (R-LA) name! In Republicanville, even the lone outhouse is haunted by State Represenative Bob Allen (R-FL) offering the men needing to use the toilet a shiny $20 gold-coin if they’ll give him the privilege to perform fellatio on them while Larry Craig (R-ID) is offering fellatio on the inside for free!

FoleyKersten’s perfect bustling town would have one radio station who’s only talk-show host is an over-weight drug addict who flies to tropical paradise islands where boy-prostitution is legal with an erectile dysfunction prescription filled out to somebody else. And while we’re talking about molesting little boys, let’s make sure we don’t forget Repupublicanville’s favored son Mark Foley (R-FL) who can molest your son faster than Kersten can write more bullshit in her next column.

Shucks Katherine, I completely forgot! Former United States Speaker of the House “Fat” Denny Hastert (R-IL) has decided to leave Congress faster than he could drum up an Exit Sign after deciding Mark Foley did no-wrong.

mosquitoBy the way: If your kid isn’t getting molested in Republicanville, he’s probably being raped in his sleep by the chair of the National Young Republicans Federation. If you have a daughter, she would be getting raped by the local National Young Republicans and then run around telling everybody that she deserved it.

Bush plays guitar

One time, the town had a flood that could have been easily prevented, but Republicanville’s Mayor ignored the town and decided instead hang on in a sing-along with a no-name musician named Mark Willis. When a bridge fell down in the town, 13 people died and Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville” thought the mayor fingers crossedwould come through for them. He didn’t of course and he won’t! He has the diction of a third grader, but they’re still crossing their fingers he’s gonna come through on that bridge re-building thing!!

housefly

Katherine Kersten has no wiggle room in criticizing anybody for anything in relation to politics or religion. Kersten’s conservative Christian views are flawed and those who share in her conservative Christian views are morally, ethically, politically and spiritually bankrupt. Kersten throws her Star-Tribune weight around to belittle and demean anything outside of the scope of her narrow dime-sized world. She’ll criticize gays, Muslims, academia, Democrats – anything that isn’t holding a Bible and carrying a crucifix and wearing a big “red Republican R brand on their chest.”

In exchange, the backdrop to Kersten’s stage is covered in a vile filth unlikeFruitFly 6 anything in American history. And yet, she continues to draw a paycheck! The Star Tribune finds her “valuable”, and I have a sneaky suspicion they’re keep this very stupid columnist on the payroll because so many of us love to hate her.