Baptist Pastor Practice (It’s a Gay Fest Without the Drag-Queens)

I had to take some “time-out” time with Jesus’ General and catch up on what that liberal-Communist has been posting on his very heterosexual blog-site.  It’s been a tough-week.

Fortunately for me; I usually don  a crucifix around my neck before my visitations with The General.  Also typical, I leave with a scalding hot shower complete with sulphuric acid bath,  and a quick rinse of glycerin purchased from plastic surgeons selling human fat-tissue in the back ally-ways of Malibu, California.

Check out his “Baptist Pastor” series.

This “Holy Dipshit” is so anti-abortion and so “pro-life” that not only will he kick the ass of any false profit from his living room, he’ll actually finish up his 2-minute sermon with a prayer to God Almighty to kill any false-prophet and send that person’s soul to a permenant damnation in Hell.  (…Because God is Love, and Jesus was a pascifist, of course!  That’s just how his “Holy Trinity” rolls!)

Here’s another Baptist-preacher (freak).  This dude is upset because Pepsi Co., (No More Wire Hangars-Joan Crawford of Mommy Dearest Fame) has donated money to GLAD (Gay, Lesbian Against Defimation).

Pepsi is for queers?  Stop drinking Pepsi because the the company donated $500,000 to a non-profit group?.

Look – you add some vodka to that can of Pepsi and that pissed off Baptist-preacher will have his Underoos pulled down around his ankles  faster than Miss Piggy could find a can of Vasaline and Kermit could pop a handful of Cialis.  The whole image is so gay, I’m expecting someone to show up in the camera-shot and offer me a brown-paper bag to stowe my clothes and join the homo-orgy.

Even the crazy-voices behind the camera exuberate homo-eroticsm. It’s a testosterone overdoes of Crazy.

And finally, a photo that was obviously posted by Senator John McCain (R-AZ) sometime around last-Mothers Day that bears mentioning:

I love it!  “Mom and Rubbers”!

Cucumbers and dill.

Basil and tomato.

Pizza and Beer.

Mom and Condoms.

Who really needed to go there?  Seriously.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Governor Gridlock: Is He Worse for the MN GOP Than We Thought?!

Pawlentys Meddling KidsGawds, do I love that nickname for Pawlenty: “Governor Gridlock. ” All that blustery show-offy crap while he whips out his “Veto Pen” and <pooof!>, he’s lost all of his friends.

That veto-pen wave may have been for his audition tape for “America’s Next Vice President.” But the governor will not be Sen. John McCain’s running mate. Here are some facts to help him get his mind back on his day job…

I had dinner with my folks last week. They’re both ultra-ultra-right wingers. Needless to say, it’s always an interesting conversation when politics are brought up.

Wayne Cox is the man I wished had joined me for that dinner.

• He brings zero promise of electoral votes to the ticket. Minnesota has not voted in favor of a Republican presidential candidate in 36 years.

• Pawlenty has helped turn Minnesota decidedly anti-Republican. When he took office, Republicans held 60 percent of the seats in the Minnesota House. They now hold 36 percent.

Hear Hear!!! That last election, he also lost all of the elected state officers chairs who were Republicans. i.e. That crazy wretch the Minn GOP loved so much named Mary Kiffmeyer. She was a trip without luggage. I thought she had to go when she tried to run off those college kids to keep them from voting and I thought: “There’s a good Nazi for you.”

• Pawlenty is turning suburban Republican legislators into an endangered species. How many more times can Gov. Gridlock ask the few remaining to vote against jobs and education and transportation solutions?

Mr. Cox; Governor Gridlock will have all of the fan-fare available to him as long as he thinks he’s popular. You have to remember, these are Republicans!! They are blameless! You can’t tell a Republican they’re “wrong”! They’re never “wrong”. How silly can you be?!?

saddle shoesThe Minnesota GOP gets all giggly-eyed when they talk about Pawlenty and they rock back and forth in their saddle shoes trying to convince themselves of the stupidest stuff about him.

My favorite: Since he’s national chair of the “Oldest Man in American History to Run for President” campaign, Pawlenty will be introducing the DC Republican “Politburo” to Minnesota cuisine like…”White Castle Hot Dish” and “Tater Tot Casserole”.

But Mr. Cox isn’t finished with “Governor Gridlock”:

The longer Pawlenty serves, the fewer Republican legislators serve with him. Prof. Larry Jacobs has described Pawlenty as “Clintonian” in his appeal: “It just drives Democrats crazy.” Actually, it just drives Democrats to the bank. Pawlenty is the gift that keeps on giving.

DFLers are now only five votes away from veto-proof majorities in both houses. In 2005, national political analyst Stuart Rothenberg was asked whether Pawlenty was a vice presidential possibility. He said: not after the state’s legislative election results.

That’s EXACTLY what I was saying to my folks last week! Pawlenty is the worst politician in Minnesota running right now. Thankfully, he’s a Republican and their arrogance knows no bounds.

Channeling Wayne

• But didn’t Pawlenty’s reelection in 2006 show he knows how to win in a Democratic year?

What he did was not exceptional at all. Thirteen Republican governors ran for reelection. Twelve won. While incumbent governors rarely lose, Pawlenty barely won. A third-party candidate siphoned off enough votes from solidly DFL districts to allow Pawlenty to squeak through. He is the only two-term Minnesota governor in 100 years to never win a majority.

If Pawlenty was as good as the GOP gushes, Pawlenty should have won handidly. Pawlenty’s didn’t run a good campaign, Mike Hatch ran a crappy one! (Like that running-mate of Hatch’s, Judi Dutcher who went blabbering on about how she didn’t know anything about ethenol. Duh! The next thing to come out of Judi Dutcher’s mouth was: “When I go to college, I want to be a veterinarian because I love children…”)

• But isn’t Pawlenty popular?

He is, but he can’t deliver votes for McCain. In the Minnesota caucuses, Mitt Romney trounced McCain, and the Obama tsunami outpolled McCain 10 to 1. If Pawlenty can’t get votes for McCain in Minnesota, where can he?

That’s a “No-Brainer”. And Pawlenty couldn’t get votes out to elect one of his own State Senator in Northfield either!

• Couldn’t Pawlenty just say, “Minnesota is a great state and I’m the guy who leads it”?

Minnesota is a great state. But by most measures it has become less great since Pawlenty took office. He is the only Minnesota governor in recent history to see the state’s unemployment rate go above the national average.

No kidding! …And he’s the only Minnesota governor to let his citizens be killed by an inept Transportation Commissioner who runs MN DOT with bubble-gum wrapper and a paper-clip dispenser!

• McCain needs to shore up support from the right. Wouldn’t anti-tax Pawlenty fill the bill?

No. The Huckabee holdouts are evangelicals. If McCain uses the running-mate spot to draw them in, he has to name someone from their camp.

huckleberry-hound-cartoons.jpgThis is another no-brainer. Huckleberry Hound is going to stay in the race all the way up to the Convention in St Paul if he can. Huckleberry, as he said the other day on Meet the Press: “I didn’t major in mathematics, I majored in miracles!” And that’s why Huckleberry Hound is staying in this race: He’s waiting for archangels to come flying out of his ass!

Most speculation points to a Southern governor or senator. The Southern governor who has appeared on TV standing at McCain’s shoulder the nights of his recent primary victories, Charlie Crist of Florida, best fits the bill. Crist has already helped McCain win the Florida primary. He is a young, congenial moderate who works well with his Legislature and gets things done. Just this month, his property tax reform referendum was approved by voters by the 60 percent margin needed. He’s an achiever who helps his party win. Pawlenty is a roadblock who helps his party lose.

I would probably disagree with Crist as a running mate for McCain. There are tons of speculation about Crists’ homosexuality and he’s virtually unknown in American public politics. The Governor of Mississippi, Haley Barbour (R-MS), comes to my mind as a person who’s a much better candidate. He’s part of George W. Bush’s Good Ole Boy network and the’ve recovered from Hurricane Katrina quite nicely!

FruitFlyWayne Cox’s last paragraph:

What should Pawlenty do? [TERMINATE CAROL MOLNAU IMMEDIATELY!!] There’s always 2012. He should follow the lead of successful Republican governors like Crist and build a record of results. Start this session by signing into law those solutions that would help put Minnesota on track and help take Minnesota Republican lawmakers off the endangered species list.

Bartcop Is Wrong: There, I said it!

bartcopper I started reading Bartcop back in 1998. A friend of mine emailed me the link while I was working on a major computer network project at the University of Minnesota. After ten years of Bartcop, I’ll proudly claim my “expert” pin and I’ll have me another Chinaco Anejo thank you very much.

Anybody who’s read Bartcop knows he’s stuck with President Clinton through the thick and the thin. All of us “Bartcoppers” did. We still fail to understand how a sexual encounter with a small town whore warrants impeachment. Especially when President Bush can lie to the American people about Weapons of Mass Destruction, produce counterfeited material to the UN Security Counsel and still manages to get a free pass from the Democrats.

Bart’s been a relentless loyal Clintonite and all of us wish a return to the days of a balanced budget, low unemployment and a $200 Quadrillion budget surplus. And for that alone, I salute him.

But for Bart, it’s an all-or-nothing approach. During this Primary and Caucus Election season, Bart’s been shooting blanks at those who are supporting Barack Obama. And to me, that’s just plain crap. Especially if he’s going to throw out this kind of trash:

GOP Bloggers for Obama

Excerpt:
For the next month or so, the conservative valentines will arrive every day at Obama HQ. His image will be illuminated by the bipartisan aura of admiration from prominent Republican commentators and strategists, as they savor the promise of his victory over Hillary, long the object of their hatred. He may well imagine that they really like him – and surely some of them do, at least for now.

William Kristol wants superdelegates to do “the good deed” of pledging their ballots to him,
George Will urges Democrats to choose him as “the party’s most potentially potent nominee,”
Peggy Noonan promises that he will be “bulletproof” against Republican attack.

Yet somehow, the Obamaniax refuse to address those questions – why?
Why can’t they see the trap the GOP bastards are setting?
Worse, why can’t they see it AFTER we point it out to them?

Answer:
They don’t want to see it, don’t want to hear it – they want to pretend it’s not there.
The “don’t want to see it, don’t want to hear it” Democrats are gambling with America’s future.

Are we OK with that?

LemmingsBart’s making the case that GOP media whores like Bill Kristol, George Will and Peggy Noonan who’ve thrown their support for Barack Obama should be a clear sign that the GOP an obvious trap set. Apparently, Barack Obama supporters are far too stupid for Old Bart because they — “don’t want to see it, don’t want to hear it”. Obamaniax are apparently far too immature to pretend that [the alleged GOP-trap] doesn’t exist. Of course, Obamaniax are simple blind Lemmings who’re willing to “gambling with America’s future“!! …Frittering away the old Red, White and Blue..!

Well, that claim is nothing short of reckless (let alone unwarranted). Because if I had to think of a Republican who uses Fear Tactics to push a politcal agenda, who would come to mind? What famous American uses his State of the Union Speeches to sell Fear and Terrorism in his politics?! Hrmmmm….

If Old Bartcop’s logic held true, wouldn’t supporting the GOP support for Hillary Clinton be a much bigger problem for all of us?Coulter

  • Ann Coulter has endsored Hillary Clinton. The Borg Queen of All Whores endorsement is obvious: Coulter’s sales for her collected works of “Slime and Sludge” are way down. Get the Clinton’s back into the Oval Office so more trees can be chopped down and be turned into four more years of NYT bestsellers for “The Man” Coulter.
  • Rupert Murdoch, CEO of Everything Faux, has held huge fund-raisers for Hillary Clinton. Never mind the ethics behind something like that; but does she really have to snuggle up to that Old Goat for a Sugar Daddy? He endorsed Clinton back in November 06 by the way. If that doesn’t tell you something about the GOP and Hillary being their political “meat puppet”, I don’t know what will!
  • Andrew Sullivan, he’s gay and a long standing ultra-conservative; and even Andy has gone out to call for conservatives to endorse Hillary. Andy in fact, goes out of his way to note that Hillary’s more conservative than any of those on the GOP ticket!
  • The New York Whore Times editorial board has endorsed Hillary. If ever there was a GOP funded editorial board, it’s been the New York Times!! How many times has Bart called the Times “media whores”?!” Can anybody get me that spreadsheet?!

But then comes along Bart’s old and wise “Oracle”: Marc Perkel.

Perkel, claiming to be “The most dangerous minds on the Internet”, is really not much more than a generic blow-hard with a chip on his shoulder about everything except himself (and his best buddy Bart, of course). But Perkel does serve a benefit: He’s not all bad. On the rare occasion he’ll stumble down from “Mount Attitude” looking like a drunken debutante and puke up something like this:

Subject: Some Democrats sound like Republicans

Obama supporters are making a serious mistake talking about the Clintons
the way Republicans talk about them. The last time Democrats talked about the Clintons that way was 1994.

Democrats in Congress were convinced by the news media that the Clintons were poison. The Democrats fell for it and distanced themselves. We all know what happened then. The Democrats lost Congress to the Republicans for the next 12 years.

If Obama supporters keep this up he may win the primary, but he’s not going to win the general election. When Democrats talk like Republicans, Republicans win.

Marc Perkel
San Bruno, CA.

(Highlights are mind… Lovely, aren’t they?)

Ahh yes. It’s obvious Marc Perkel’s crystal ball is in fine working order! What makes him think that Obama won’t win the General Election? Better question: “Why is Hillary a guaranteed win in the General Election while Obama is apparently a guaranteed loss?”perkel butt-plug

“Hey Perkel; thanks for thinkin’ like a “Liberal Democrat” Dude!!
From now on, when we need an opinion from a Butt-Plug like you; we’ll text-message you!!”
BTE ME A@@HLE!

In fact, the very reason we shouldn’t vote for Hillary is because it’s having an odd affect on the Republican voters out there. The more momentum Barack Obama gets, the less interested the GOP voters are out there who’ll vote against her!

Last Sunday on Meet the Press, Robert Novak of über-media whore fame admitted live on television to writing these words:

“Amid the exciting windup of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination and the mop-up of the Republican contest, the reality is that 2008 shapes up as a very bad year for the GOP. The fact that the Democratic turnout in yesterday’s Virginia primary was double the Republican reflects the larger, more boisterous Democratic rallies from Iowa to the Potomac primaries. The pessimism and gloom in the business community is particularly pronounced.”

“Adding to the dark mood among Republicans is the increasing prospect that they will not be able to bolster their morale by running against the detested Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.). Her unification of Republicans has been one of the few GOP assets going into the campaign. It will take time and effort to work up a passion against the likable Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) no matter how leftist he really is.”

The transcript of the dialogue is available on MSNBC servers here. Highlights are still, fabulously mine.

Novak makes a valid point. The GOP “Hate Machine” has been as well oiled as long as Hillary’s election campaign. They’ve been expecting Hillary and they’ve surmised her every move. GoebblesWhile Hillary was picking her election campaign’s captains and colonels as far back as 2000 and 2004, the GOP was busy grooming their own “Joseph Goebbels” throughout the media empire. Unthinking that there might be an alternate candidate for the Dems, the GOP became severely handicapped: All that grooming was wasted.

Novak isn’t alone in that thinking (so I know I’m my bottle of Anejo isn’t empty, yet). Last Wednesday, the Cincinnati Enquirer wrote a piece called Ohio GOP roots for Hillary:

One of the worst-kept secrets of the Ohio presidential primary is that Republican party leaders have a candidate they are rooting for on the Democratic side.

Her name is Hillary Clinton, and they believe that if she wins the Ohio primary and goes on to become the Democratic nominee, she will be the one who unites their dispirited and divided party and give them their best chance of keeping the White House this fall.

It is a belief that the Clinton campaign says is wrong-headed and they will campaign across the state for the next three weeks making the argument that their battle-tested, experienced candidate is the only one who can go toe-to-toe with John McCain, the presumptive GOP nominee this fall.

The Devil can be found in the third paragraph. The Clinton campaign plays defense for Ohio Republicans hatred toward her! And that makes Bartcop wrong.

Bart whines about stories like these. Even if the Press is supporting Hillary Clinton’s campaign for President. In fact, Bart will grab any lame-brained excuse to whine about Clinton being poorly treated and patently ignores it when the Press unfairly portrays Barack Obama.

Ladies and Gays (and str8 dudes too)!! …I give you Paul Krugman in piece called “Hate Springs Eternal“:

Excerpt:
I won’t try for fake evenhandedness here: most of the venom I see is coming from supporters of Mr. Obama, who want their hero or nobody. I’m not the first to point out that the Obama campaign seems dangerously close to becoming a cult of personality. We’ve already had that from the Bush administration – remember Operation Flight Suit? We really don’t want to go there again.

What’s particularly saddening is the way many Obama supporters seem happy with the application of “Clinton rules” – which means the way some news organization treat any action or statement by the Clintons, no matter how innocuous, as proof of evil intent.

Hmmm, some news organizations?

That would be FOX News, CNN, CBS, NBC, ABC, NYWhore Times, atombomb WaHoPo, DailyKos, Air America Radio, TIME, NEWSWEEK, Meet the Whore, Face the Whore, This Whore, Consortiumnews, Huffingtonpost (I can’t begin to list them all) and most every “liberal” web site.

And he means that “mind-reading” I’ve been talking about.

KOA(Yes, you caught that too? Even though the NY Times has thrown their endorsement into Hillary’s KOA and not into Obama’s, McCain’s or Huckabee’s: Bart will still hate the Times and call them “A Whore”because it’s easy and a cheap-shot. He’ll even whine about those media sources who are friendly to his cause, if it’ll keep Bartcop on the radar-screen.)

Now a look at Charles Krauthammer one week later who ran this piece called “The Audacity of Selling Hope“:

ABC’s Jake Tapper notes the “Helter-Skelter cult-ish qualities” of “Obama worshipers,” what Joel Stein of the Los Angeles Times calls “the Cult of Obama.” Obama’s Super Tuesday victory speech was a classic of the genre. Its effect was electric, eliciting a rhythmic fervor in the audience — to such rhetorical nonsense as “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. (Cheers, applause.) We are the change that we seek.”

That was too much for Time’s Joe Klein. “There was something just a wee bit creepy about the mass messianism,” he wrote. “The message is becoming dangerously self-referential. The Obama campaign all too often is about how wonderful the Obama campaign is.”

You might dismiss as hyperbole the complaint by the New York Times‘s Paul Krugman that “the Obama campaign seems dangerously close to becoming a cult of personality.” Until you hear Chris Matthews, who no longer has the excuse of youth, react to Obama’s Potomac primary victory speech with “My, I felt this thrill going up my leg.” When his MSNBC co-hosts tried to bail him out, he refused to recant. Not surprising for an acolyte who said that Obama “comes along, and he seems to have the answers. This is the New Testament.”

Krauthammer’s last paragraph in the piece:

Democrats are worried that the Obama spell will break between the time of his nomination and the time of the election, and deny them the White House. My guess is that he can maintain the spell just past Inauguration Day. After which will come the awakening. It will be rude.

Calling Obama supporters cult-like is “The New Thing” fresh off the GOP’s propaganda press. (Remember, they’re new to slamming Barack. Slapping Obama supporters and calling them stupid crap is just the beginning. In a few more months, they’ll be talking all kinds of nonsense.) Crooks and Liars caught a CNN piece from their very lameSituation Room” where Carol Costello offers a Fox News imitation of Obama supporters who look like “the Moonies” in a piece titled “creepy”. But where’s Bart is this?

Nowhere!

What does he care? He’ll be front and center if Randi Rhodes and Ed Shultz talks badly about Hillary. But if there’s bad-mouthing to be done on Obama… So freaking what?!Hillary Box

What Bart (and his Goddess in Chief) have failed to do was to recognize that the American public, both Red and Blue, are fed up with what both the Bush and the Clinton camps have left us….all of us: A mess. A disaster.

Let’s be honest here: Those levies in New Orleans were in pretty bad shape before GW Bush took over, and yet nobody has blamed Bill Clinton for not fixing those levvies with that “$200 quadrillion surplus”.

Barack made “Change” from all of this crap we face something that’s front and center of his campaign. And it was a brilliant move politically. “Change” isn’t a change in the Bush Cartel, Obama’s “Change” comes from all of it: Including the Clinton Dynasty, the Reagan Dynasty and the Carter and the Nixon Dynasties. From the beginning of his campaign he published “The Audacity of Hope; Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream“, which was brilliantly titled as well as it was written. Unlike Bill Clinton who admitted to smoking pot, but avoiding “inhaling” it, Barack threw his adolescent drug use out there in his book for all to see and criticize. If you’re a Democrat; “Inhaling” is completely Out and “Honesty” is totally In…Dude.

I love the 90sMeanwhile Hillary Clinton thought she could sing for her supper and she decided on “Aud Lang Syne” as her tune du jour. Clinton’s campaign tour de force includes the same ghostly faces as her husband had at his dispoal; Harold Ickles, Bob Nash, Howard Wolfson… Her campaign is simply a re-hash of the ’90’s. Even Clinton’s last two books screams her campaign platform in their titles alone: “An Invitation to the White House: At Home with History” and “Living History“. It’s a rerun of VH1’s “I Love the 90’s”, but with uglier politicians and sluttier whores.

Both campaigns are brilliant, both extremely competitive. I have a great deal of respect for Senator Clinton and Senator Obama. If Hillary gets the nomination, I would be proud to be an American to cast the first vote for a woman for President of the United States. But since Obama is giving Clinton a serious run for her money, Bart has decided that ripping the crap out of Obama’s campaign will give Hillary that “extra boost” she needs. Even if that crap-ripping is undeserved. And that’s why Bart is wrong.

I don’t think I’m not alone in noting that Hillary’s opportunistic personality causes many Obama supporters concerned about her tenure as a President. From the beginning, Hillary has been making mistakes or acting inappropriately, something I’ve already touched on. And that’s why Bart has concentrated on weeks and weeks of Barack-Bitching.

He’ll ignore her campaign mistakes, gloss over her back-tracking and keep focused on Barack Obama’s skin-color and twitter around..”rationalizing whether or not the Democrats have a “civil war” going on or not.” (Call it poetic, even metaphorical, but don’t forget to call it what it really is: “Really Really Pathetic”.)

Yes We Can!And what about that black vote? Something the Democrats always encourage is for our African-American neighbors to get out and vote. And, to be honest, they rarely do! While Southern white Democrats from Oklahoma (that’s you Bart) all the way to Georgia struggle with their conscious whether they can drag themselves to vote for a black man for president; their hand-wringing days are over: Roll out the African-American vote:

Hillary Clinton‘s black supporters — especially the most prominent ones — hadn’t expected their candidate to be in a dogfight right now. They thought Barack Obama was an election cycle or two away from being serious presidential timber. They thought Bill Clinton‘s presidency and the close relationships the Clintons had forged with African Americans would translate into goo-gobs of votes in ’08. They were wrong.

Remember all the commentator chatter last summer: Is Barack Obama black enough?

Well, he’s black enough now.

We’re all sick of Bush’s Oil War. We’re all fed up with W’s incompetence and his 3rd Grade level of diction for the English language. We’re all pissed as hell by Bush’s Texas-sized “Good Old Boys Club” and we’re sick to death of perverted bathroom-stalking Republicans and spineless whining Democrats.

For the first time, the Democrats have given the GOP something they don’t know how to handle, his name is Barack Obama. The GOP knows how to handle Hillary, but they’re stumped as to what to do about Barack.

DroopyBut who cares about the GOP? Their guy, Johnny Mac, is hated. He’s regarded as a liberal who hangs out with that Liberal Loser Joe “Droopy the Dog” Lieberman. They’re all aware that McCain is severely hot tempered. Mike Huckabee’s GI Josephine action figure, Chuck Norris says that McCain is too old! His message is reviled by the American public; “100 years in Iraq is fine with me!” smacks badly on the US citizens.

While Barack Obama draws crowds of 20,000 who’ve stood in lines that are literally miles long to see him in Minneapolis, their guy Johnny Mac sniffles and slithers in to meet his followers in hotel meeting rooms and tells them he doesn’t know anything about the economy. And while Hillary is speaking to uproarious crowds in Texas about her platform of change, their guy Johnny Mac is whimpering for an endorsement from George Bush’s…”Dad“.

Bart’s wrong to continuously rip on Obama and he’s wrong to suggest that Obama can’t win the general election. And spending hundreds of hours complaining about Obama and whining because his beloved Clinton is staggering in the campaign; well…that’s just sad and pathetic.

FruitFlyWe still love ya Bart! Keep hammerin’! Just don’t think you’re gonna smack Obama without a few of us comin’ back at cha. Don’t be messin’ with my Barack and I won’t mess with your girl Hillary. We’re all family… So come on and let’s kick some GOP arse! We’re all family! You can even bring your little friend “Butt-Plug” along with you!!

Huckabee Compares “Running for Office” to “Being Waterboarded”

Black Garbage FlyFrom Think Progress:

This morning, CNN ran a story “tracking the strain furious campaigning puts on the human body” for the presidential candidates. During the segment, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee joked that his campaign schedule is not providing enough time to sleep and that, for him, is “like being waterboarded”:

HUCKABEE: I’m finding just out how long I can go sleep deprived. You know, running for office is sort of like being waterboarded, I think.

Watch it:

Can we waterboard Mike Huckabee so he can make more objective comparison?

houseflyHuckabee is quickly racking up more gaffs than Dan Quayle, the previous crowned “Republican Idiot In Political Office” before George W. Bush. Let’s never forget how the GOPFruitFly howled with laughter at the expected stupidity of Bill Clinton as governor of Arkansas. In hysterics, thanks in large part to Rush Limbaugh, they painted Clinton with the mental image of Huck Finn. Now it appears the jokes on them, because Mike Huckabee is the paradoxical reality of everything they thought was Bill Clinton. Let’s wait for him to go to Latin American and reminisce about wish he’d taken more “Latin” when he was in school…

The Democrats vs The GOP: How We Doin’ So Far?

corn flakesFriends from all over the United States have told me, either on the phone or via email that the Democrats have been showing up in droves. When we went to vote, traffic was so horribly backed up, people simply pulled over on the shoulder and abandoned their vehicles. We found a back road behind a parking lot which was filling up and did the same. I’ve seen news media everywhere saying that Democrats have been showing up twice, if not three times to that of our Republican counter-parts.

But is that really true?

I spent an hour this morning swimming out there in “Dataville” and I couldn’t find anybody who’ll tell me the ratio of voting Dems to Repukes on this year’s Primaries/Caucuses.

This morning on Meet The Press, Tim Russert practically shoved Huckleberry Hound off the set after Holy Mike explained he was praying for a “Jesus sized Miracle” to win. But by the time Holy Mike got to twanging away about frying squirrels on a popcorn popper in college, the real “Jesus Miracle” was the number people who were still watching the show.

Following that fiasco of total air time, Russert pooled his buddies together to discuss the elections and how they’re going for both the Dems and the ‘Pukes. Gwen Ifle, David Brody, Chuck Todd and Dave Broder (the token GOP Whore) all had an intriguing conversation about the Obama v Clinton delegate count.

Then these words were said on MTP:

MR. RUSSERT: …And if you look at the vote count thus far in these primaries, here it is: Republicans have gotten 12.9 million votes, Democrats have gotten 19.2 votes.

It shows a little more intensity and enthusiasm for one party over another, Chuck Todd.

MR. TODD: It’s a huge problem for the Republicans. I mean, they look at these numbers, and they’re very, very nervous.

Are they really that nervous? Is Karl Rove really pulling out the remaining strands of hair from his balding scalp?

day crow crowdHow much of an effect can a 30% approval rating for a sitting US President have on primary caucuses in an election year?

  • A good friend of mine, a liberal Democrat in Atlanta: “Twice as many Dems showed up to vote as Republicans!!”
  • Another friend of mine in Montgomery, AL: “You wouldn’t believe it! Dems were everywhere voting…you couldn’t find a Republican anywhere!”
  • A friend of mine from Los Angeles: “Dude, it’s incredible. You wouldn’t believe it. EVERYBODY is voting Dem out here. It’s so knarley, ya know?!”
  • Last Friday, my best friend, a Catholic priest in southern Lousiana said while chewing on some fresh crawfish: “I think dat Hillary’s going to win Louisiana, but who dat Obama say he goin’ a-win?!” (Obama won of course; pass the hot sauce, thank you very much.)
  • Here in Minnesota, my State Senator Ann Rest said that they were expecting three times DFL’ers to show up to vote over the Minnesota GOP.

Is this all true?

It was -30F wind chill last night. Little Otis is upset because he’s bored out of his skull for lack of anything related to the outdoors and withdrawl symptoms from his addiction to squirrel poop. What a better time to give the dog a rawhide bone and get my mouse surfing?

I gave up screwing around with local Secretary of State offices. If the SOS is a Republican, you can’t find the vote-count results anywhere. If it’s a Dem, the SOS is so overly “datafied” and the research became ridiculous. Huge *.PDF files with breakdowns of precinct percentages broken down by “voters under 35” and “household incomes less than fifty dollars”.

Ugh!

I caved in and went worshiping at the Throne of Mass Media: CNN.

I tallied up all of the votes between Democrats and Republicans, regardless of which candidate they voted for, even if they were simply “undecided”.

The numbers are astounding. Including some states you’d never think. I’ve highlighted states to match the color of the party with the higher turnout. The rare GOP turn out might surprise you, or it may not.

Please note that Maine finished their primary today, and the CNN data was less than 8 minutes old when I was tallying up those totals. States where one party is TWICE or THREE TIMES the turnout as their counter-parts are highlighted in yellow. Which attracts the most of my attention.

Voter Totals are valid as of 2/11/04 (i.e. Expect updates…)

ALABAMA:
DEM: 539,743
2,672 (Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 563,822
1,252 (Uncommitted Included)

ARIZONA:
DEM: 397,642
GOP: 480,351

ARKANSAS:
DEM: 298,338
GOP: 218,897
(944 Uncommitted Included)

texansInteresting: More people from the “Old Geezer” State showed up to vote for their guy John McCain (the ultimate old geezer) than Mike Huckabee could draw from his own Hillbilly State. Perhaps the GOP voters in Arkansas decided that bribing the Huckabee’s to leave the Governors Mansion in Little Rock with that gift registry at Target and Dillards was enough. God knows what the Huckabee’s will do to take a bribe to leave the White House in four years.

CALIFORNIA:
DEM: 4,541,,082
GOP: 2,293,212

COLORADO:
DEM: 119,184
(1253 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 55,845

CONNECTICUT:
DEM: 350,595
GOP: 150,159

DC (District of Columibia):
DEM: 113,157
GOP: 5,711

Note: Only GOP congressional staffers bothered to show up to vote here. I can imagine the GOP Polling “Holes” were vacant with an occasional voter strolling in every other hour or so… This GOP turnout was pathetic!

DELAWARE:
DEM: 95,979
GOP: 50,062

FLORIDA:
DEM: 1,684,390
GOP: 1,864,350

I found Florida interesting. Floridians knew their delegates were banned by the DNC. Yet, they went out and voted anyway. And they still ran short by about 180,000 Republicans.

GEORGIA:
DEM: 1,046,485
GOP: 954,462

HAWAI’I: updated3
DEM: 37,247
(65 Uncommitted)
GOP: The Repukes hold their Primary on 5/18 (like we cared).

IDAHO:
DEM: 21,224
(552 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: The Repukes hold their Primary on 5/27 (like we care).

ILLINOIS:
DEM: 2,958,268
GOP: 885,009

KANSAS:
DEM: 36,695
(8 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 19,133
(84 Uncommitted Included)

LOUISIANA:
DEM: 357,547
GOP: 156,101

Noted: Most all of the Southern states, the Dems seem to have found their voice! Louisiana, rare to be twice that of the turnout to that of the ‘Pukes, but not uncommon to be such a high turnout!

MAINE: (To be updated, obviously)
DEM: 3,200
(17 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 2,410

MARYLAND:
DEM: 723,407
GOP: 277,162

MASSACHUSETTS:
DEM: 1,244,133
(7,766 “No Preference” Included)
GOP: 496,171
(1875 “No Preference” Included)

MICHIGAN:
DEM: 593,837
(237,762 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 867,271
(18106 Uncommitted Included)

Ralph NaderAnother interesting voter turnout. Michigan’s delegates were also banned and yet the Dems showed up anyway; 273,000 less than their Repuke neighbors.

MINNESOTA:
DFL: 213,249
GOP: 62,857
Constitution Party: 82

Interesting note for Minnesota: The Greens and the Independents didn’t vote. They either voted for a Dem or a ‘Puke, but there’s no votes cast for an Independent or a Greenie. (See ya later Ralphie!!!)

UPDATE: Grace Kelly over at MnBlue politely informed me that the Greenies and the Indies don’t vote until later. I stand corrected but there’s no damned way I’m pullin’ down my digi-graphic of Ralphie. He’s so HOT!!

(Please read the COMMENTS for more information.)

MISSOURI:
DEM: 823,376
(3,133 Uncommitted Votes Included)
GOP: 433,749
(2,083 Uncommitted Votes Included)
LIB: 2056
(963 Uncommitted Votes Included)

NEBRASKA:
DEM: 38,481
(99 Uncommitted Votes Included)
GOP: The ‘Pukes hold their Primary on 5/13 (like we care).

NEVADA:
DEM: 10,560
(31 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 44,324

AND FOR CHRISSAKES! IT’S PRONOUNCED: NE-VA-DA!!

I’m sick and tired of y’all mispronouncing it!

NEW HAMPHSIRE:
DEM: 284,104
GOP: 233,381

NEW JERSEY:
DEM: 1,109,369
GOP: 556,855

Vote! Or we’ll call Tony Soprano on ya.

NEW MEXICO: (What’s up with Gov. Bill Richardson’s backyard in Counting Votes, anyway?)
DEM: 139,869
(413 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: (The Repukes have their Primary on June 8…Like we care)

NEW YORK:
DEM: 1,721,265
GOP: 602,747
(18,566 voting for Rotten Rudy Giuliani Included)

Like Huckabee, New Yorkers ignoring Rudy like that was a crushing embarrassment. Not only did New Yorkers say to Rudy; “No!”, they said “HELL F%$#$ NO!”

NORTH DAKOTA:
DEM: 18,856
GOP: 9,743

Not quite twice the number of Dems! But; “Ooooh..! So close!” As conservative as NoDaks tend to be, this is a remarkable turnout.

OKLAHOMA:
DEM: 401,230
GOP: 329,843

SOUTH CAROLINA:
DEM: 530,322
GOP: 442,918

TENNESSEE:
DEM:
614,096
(3,123 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 547,614
(1812 Uncommitted Included)

UTAH:
DEM: 122,617
GOP: 283,759

VIRGINIA:
DEM: 964,701
GOP: 479,644

WASHINGTON:
DEM: 31,984
(363 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 13,475
(1729 Uncommitted Included)

WISCONSIN: updated3
DEM: 1,099,624
(860 Uninstructed Included)
GOP: 403,437
(850 Uninstructed Included)

I counted 22 states in which the more voters showed up for the Dems than for the ‘Pukes. I would say the Dems are doing pretty well this year. And as we progress our final year of the Village Idiot sitting in the Oval Office and Dick Cheney keeps burning down restrooms, in the Vice Presidents office and government offices all over Washington DC, more of us are going to be fed up with the GOP’s “Disaster Platform”.

I would tend to believe Chuck Todd in the fact that the GOP is extremely nervous. The NRCC, the financial spinal-column for the upcoming GOP election, is bracing for the news of many years of financial looting going back many many years. As well as they should be:

The NRCC’s accounting problems were discussed during two high-level conference calls between senior GOP lawmakers on Friday and Monday night, according to Republicans briefed on the calls.

“There is a sense that this could be very damaging to the committee,” said a Republican insider close to the GOP leadership.

The precise details of the suspected accounting irregularities and their possible fallout are not entirely clear. NRCC officials and top GOP leaders are being tight-lipped in large part because the FBI is investigating the matter. An outside lawyer advising members and staff has warned everyone at the committee to keep quiet.

FruitFly 6Do I think we’re doing better than the ‘Pukes?! Definitely! Even in spite of the growing debate within the DNC about Super Delegates and Obama v Clinton is a whole lot better than what the GOP is facing. The DNC isn’t broke, under investigations, rife with scandals and filled with corruption. The GOP could only pray for a complex issue like a brokered convention.

President Bush’s newest (dis)-approval numbers

Nazi MickeyDoes anybody remember when ABC (a.k.a. Mickey Mouse Television) aired that show “Path to 9-11” in 2006? There was all of this controversy from within the Democratic National Committee who urged progressives and liberals to write nasty-grams to ABC Chief Robert Iger to keep that piece of propaganda piece off the air. Especially when the movie essentially blamed the Democrats in Congress (?!!) for 9-11. And being a month and a half away from the upcoming election, that really pissed off the Progressives and the Liberals. Everybody screamed and ballyhooed complete with pictures of Mickey Mouse sporting an Adolf Hitler mustache. The propaganda puff-piece didn’t seem to work however: The Dems, of course, gained control of Congress and the Republicans are still bitching and whining about a “liberal media bias”…of course.

Well, now the Mickey Channel has some bad news for the neo-Nazi’s, the likes of Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin:

The latest GW Bush poll numbers from Mickey Mouse tee-vee!!

Nazy Mickey…And trust me folks, it ain’t looking good for King George, his wife Pickles, or for Pluto, Goofy and the Country Bear Jamboree. Although I’m sure it was painful for the producers of the “Path to 9-11” (especially after their stupid propaganda film didn’t do them any good anyway), Americans simply do not like George…nor the neo-Nazi flag that his minions are currently goose stepping and saluting.

Are we ready boys and girls?!

Let’s go!

Job Approval: Just 32 percent of Americans now approve of the way Bush is handling his job, while 66 percent disapprove.

Even with a slight reduction in violence in Iraq:

64 percent say the war was not worth fighting, 2 points from its high.

Republican boys and girls might want to look away… this could get ugly for some.

77 percent in this ABC News/Washington Post poll say the country is headed off on the wrong track — the most since the federal government shut down in a deeply unpopular budget battle in early 1996.

Three post-World War II presidents have gone lower than Bush in overall approval:

    • Jimmy Carter (28 percent)
      • Richard Nixon (24 percent)
      • Harry Truman (22 percent)

          But after three straight years in the doghouse, Bush is just two months away from Truman’s record of 38 months without majority approval — far beyond any other.

          Intensity of sentiment, moreover, remains very heavily against the president.

          Fifty-one percent strongly disapprove of his work overall, while just 16 percent strongly approve — strongly negative by better than a 3-1 ratio.

          On the Economy:

          Economic trouble almost always damages an incumbent president, and it’s been brewing for months. Consumer confidence as measured weekly by ABC News grew worse in each quarter of 2007. In November, 69 percent of Americans said a recession was at least somewhat likely in the next year. And in this poll the economy has surpassed the Iraq War as the most important issue to voters in the 2008 presidential campaign.

          8 percent now approve of how Bush is handling the economy, down 6 points in the last month and down from 40 percent in June.

          But it’s not the housing or credit markets but other economic concerns that Americans cite as their families’ main economic problems:

            • 24 % cite health care costs
              • 23 % rising prices
              • 16% on the price of gasoline
              • 12% on taxes

                Notice that the number one issue is a topic that Republicans completely ignore while the last item is a topic Republicans promote as a “top issue”. The opposite is true of the Democrats: Health care is vitality important to the Democrats platform. Is it any wonder why the Democrats are hauling in loads of cash while the Republicans are starved for it?

                On “Getting Ahead” (no dirty-thoughts please)

                All told, just 21 percent say they’re “getting ahead” financially, while 17 percent say they’re falling behind (actually a bit fewer than the 23 percent who say so in fall 2006). Most, six in 10, say they’re earning just enough to maintain their standard of living.

                That’s Mickey-speak translated as: Over half of Americans say they’re barely hanging on, Baby.

                In a country where getting ahead is the American dream, just holding steady doesn’t do it.

                • Among those who are getting ahead financially, 60 percent say the country is headed in the wrong direction (they have other concerns, including the war).
                • Among those who are just maintaining, far more, 79 percent, say the country’s going the wrong way.
                • And among those falling behind, “wrong direction” peaks at 89 percent.

                On “Iraq” (drum-roll please…)

                  • 30 percent approve of how he’s handling the war in Iraq (2 points from his low, and again strong disapprovers outnumber strong approvers by 3-1.
                  • 54 percent remain skeptical the U.S. is making significant progress restoring civil order there.

                    Of those who support the War in Iraq (those Republicans who are going to vote for McCain, Romney, Huckabee and “Rotten Rudy” Giuliani)

                      • 69 percent approve of Bush’s work in office
                        • 52 percent say the country’s headed down the wrong track

                          Among those who disapprove of the war,

                            • Bush’s approval rating is 12 percent;
                              • “wrong track,” 91 percent.

                                Aye yi yi!! That smarts! Especially when over half the country is skeptical about this war already – 91% think this war is nothing but crap!

                                The effect of an unpopular war on presidential approval has been seen before. Johnson’s approval dropped year-to-year as the nation became enmeshed in Vietnam, from 66 percent in 1965 to 51 percent in 1966 and 42 percent in 1968, when he chose not to run for re-election. Bush’s approval has followed a similar path — just a longer one.

                                Bush v LBJ

                                On the “Party”!! (That’s the “neo-con party” of Nazi’s of course)

                                There’s been political damage beyond the president; his party has suffered as well. After decades of gradual growth, the Republican Party finally achieved parity with the Democrats in 2003, when, on average across the year, precisely equal numbers of Americans identified themselves with either party — 31 percent Democrats, 31 percent Republicans (with the rest independents).

                                But that changed after 2003 — the year the United States invaded Iraq. Since then Republican self-identification has moved back down, to an average of 25 percent across 2007 — its lowest year long average since 1984.

                                Party ID

                                <GASP!> Bush’s Presidency has thrown the GOP back to the early Eighties?! Ronald Ray-gun must be rolling in his grave! This is more terrifying than a ride on the Pirates of the Caribbean..! Can you imagine what the “liberal press” is saying right now?!

                                On Groups:

                                Bush is at career lows in approval in three groups as well as overall — among liberals (9 percent approve of his work), moderates (24 percent) and independents — the center of American politics — among whom just 25 percent approve.

                                His ratings are far higher among his core supporters, Republicans and conservatives, with 68 percent and 55 percent approval, respectively. But even those are well below his career averages in these groups, 86 percent and 71 percent. Beyond liberals, disapproval of Bush peaks among Democrats, African-Americans and strong opponents of the Iraq war.

                                The most interesting statement in the four page report is the last sentence:

                                The president’s low overall ratings fuel one other result, perhaps an obvious one: 79% percent of Americans say his successor should take the nation in a different direction.

                                Obviously this should be of the most important interest to all of the GOP candidates up there. Mitt Romney preaches “change” but doesn’t explain how to define that word. Likewise with Huckabee and “Rotten Rudy” Giuliani; they preach “change” but they’re not defining.

                                Their candidate gaining popularity recently is (POW and tortured) Senator John McCain. He’s the one who compromised with the president by letting Bush continue on torturing Guantanamo detainees which makes him nothing but a stinking hypocrite.  But I digress…again. McCain doesn’t even bother talking about “change”. He promotes staying in Iraq for up to 100 years if necessary and thinks Bush is doing a mighty fine job.

                                If you’d rather read the article with the graph charts, massive amounts of numbered charts and clarifications of what questions were asked (and the demographics of the people polled), you can click the PDF here. The charts on this blog belong to the original ABC report published in the PDF. Otherwise, you can roll a joint, make yourself a JD-n-coke and enjoy what I’ve supplied here. (Just don’t tell the cops about your stash, like I did once. Spent the entire Fourth of July weekend in jail.)

                                FruitFlyNow there’s only one logical conclusion to all of this gibberish: If the Evangelicals believe God Almighty reached down from Heaven and hand-picked George W Bush to be our President, our Commander in Chief… Then we’re in a hell of a lot of trouble.