The Daily Show Welcomes the RNC to the Twin Cities

Nice job, Stewie!! I have to run on down there this coming weekend to look for this billboard…

Crooks and Liars is mis-reporting that the sign is hanging over I-94. The original source states that it’s on I-494 outside of MSP.

Egads…that is funnier than Hell…

Oh, and by the way… Tonights video selection (click the Fly, Silly) was deliberate!!

Who’s contributing to McCain’s campaign? Errr: Who isn’t?

I was cruising along Buzzflash, reading their headlines, and I noticed this:

Few House GOP donate to McCain 7/18

Now that has to be the shortest headline Buzz has ever published. Typically, a Buzzflash headline is twelve pages long and may contain footnotes and Cliff Notes. But the story was also interesting; Not a lot of GOPers in the House and the Senate who are giving to McCain’s campaign!

Only 21 House Republicans have given to McCain from their personal campaign accounts since he became the presumptive GOP nominee four and a half months ago, according to an analysis of House fundraising reports made public Wednesday.

In addition, eleven House Republicans who did not give from their personal campaign accounts this year contributed from their leadership political action committees (PACs), according to fundraising reports covering the election cycle through the end of May.

So while nearly half the Senate GOP conference has given to McCain, less than 20 percent of House Republicans have pitched in.

Several of the highest-ranking Republicans in the House have yet to give to McCain. Republican Whip Roy Blunt (Mo.) and Republican Conference Chairman Adam Putnam (Fla.) have not given anything, according to the most recent fundraising reports.

That’s kinda strange, don’t you think? You’d think they’d all be out there front and center supporting “The McCain Machine”!

But, why bother trying to find the Flock Faithful and have contributed to McSame, perhaps the better question is – Who hasn’t?

Open Secrets reports:

  • Michele (The Ding Bat) Bachmann (R-MN 6th) – $0.00 in contributing to anything. She hasn’t sprouted one red penny to anything. Of course, she’s probably groping and molesting George W. Bush right now, …At this very moment, she’s dry-humping GWB’s leg while trying desperately to shove her tongue down GW’s throat.
  • John Kline (R-MN 2nd) – $0.00 in contributing to anything. Only two Kline’s are listed, one from MInneapolis contributing to Ciresi and one in Wayzata contributing to Norm Coleman (R-Rubber Puppet).
  • Jim Ramstad (R-MN 3rd) – $2,500 was given to John McCain’s campaign in mid-May 2008. Good for Congressman Ramstad! We have someone in Minnesota who at least tries to support McSame. The Republicans “Golden Boy” supports McCain – and he’s the one jetting out of his office. (…out of embarrassment, I’m sure.)
  • Tim Pawlenty (R-MN Governor) – $0.00 in contributing anything. Tim Pawlenty doesn’t donate to jack-diddly-do. Nada. McCain’s National Campaign Chair and he doesn’t donate anything himself?!? Pretty cheesy there, don’t you think?
  • Norm Coleman (R-MN Rubber Puppet) – $0.00 in contributing anything. Nothing. Since Bush’s name is attached, Coleman isn’t paying attention to it anything.
  • Ron Carey – (R-MN GOP Chair) – $0.00 He ain’t donated anything. In fact, all of the Carey’s listed in Open Secrets have donated heavily to Democrats. (Still no word on that investigation Ron Carey’s under for overcharging the state of Minnesota…)
  • Ron Eibensteiner – (R-MN former GOP Chair) – $2,300 was donated to John McSame back in June 2007. He also donated $2,300 to the Rubber Puppet in January 2008.

I got to thinking…

  • Joe Soucheray, that Republican tool job on KSTP: $0.00. Nothing.
  • David Senjem (R-MN Minority Leader in the Senate): $0.00 Nothing.
  • Marty Seifert (R-MN Minority Leader in the House): $0.00 Nothing.

For all of the prominent Republicans from Minnesota, you’d think John McCain could have raised more than $4,800. To earn extra-credit, I ran these names against The Huffington Post‘s Fund Race and I got the same results. (Which probably means Huffington Post is using OpenSecrets.org database to extrapolate the exact same data…)

…Just sayin’.

John McCain: The Welfare Candidate

This is Gay Pride Week. I’ve been so busy this week with GPW activities I could just scream. My husband partner is no exception; he’s complaining about his Gay Recruiting class size. This year, he has well over fifty heterosexual men who’ve decided they want to be gay, and he’s just swamped. And then there’s the night-classes for the Catholic priests he’s teaching too. Every night he has over 100 Catholic priests that he has to teach on “The Art of Seducing Alter Boys”. That Catholic church has really ramped up their battle against us, so even enticing those alter boys can be rather dicey.

It was just a week or so ago, there was a dust-up over at the John McCain campaign on the subject of Campaign Financing. McCain, according to the DNC is illegally flip-flopping on the subject by accepting those funds and then spending more than is allowed by law.

The DNC has issued:

In order to receive matching funds, John McCain signed a binding agreement with the FEC to accept spending limits and to abide by the conditions of receiving those funds. The FEC requires that any request to withdraw from the agreement must be granted by the FEC. FEC Chairman David Mason made this clear in a letter to McCain advising him that the law requires the FEC to approve his request to withdraw from his contract – a move McCain ignored and cost Mason his job.

According to past Commission rulings, the McCain campaign would not be allowed to withdraw from matching funds because it already violated a key condition for being let out of the program – pledging matching funds as collateral for a private loan.

Typical for Bush and his own private junta against justice in this country; Bush fires the FEC Chair who simply did his job. It wasn’t as if the Chair was a former attorney for the International Arabian Horse Association, screwed the pooch on that job and so Bush appointed him to be head of FEMA. Two times, Bush put David Mason up as his pick for the FEC Chair position and when Mason does his job – and Bush just fires the guy.

But I’m digressing.

What Barack Obama has done is brilliant: He’s opted out of taking $85 Million because he’s confident enough he’ll raise $300 Million before November!

There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

Obama — at a time when Hillary Clinton was the inevitable juggernaut rolling back to the White House — said he would stay in the federal public financing system if he did win the primary fight, as long as his GOP opponent did the same. McCain agreed immediately. The system gives candidates $85 million, funded by the $3 check-off fewer and fewer taxpayers choose to pay on IRS forms. But that’s the only money candidates who take the funding can spend after the nominating conventions. They can’t use campaign contributions from private donors. Now, awash in private contributions, Obama and his strategists are beginning to back away from his pledge to rely solely on public money.

So, McCain agrees: “We’ll take the public tax payer’s money and stay within the $85 Million as prescribed by law.”

[Handshake] …and “Deal”.

Now Obama doesn’t need the funds – so “screw ’em” he says. “I can raise my own money and not limit myself to the $80-odd Million the FEC mandates.”

McCain isn’t out of the woods:

McCain, meanwhile, took out a loan last fall that saved his campaign, giving him the money he needed for a last-ditch effort to win New Hampshire. He also declared himself eligible for a different public-financing program that gives candidates matching funds, keyed to the level of their private fundraising, for primary campaigns — and imposes strict spending caps in the process. Now that his financial picture has improved, he’s announced he won’t take the primary matching funds. But the head of the Federal Election Commission (a longtime critic of McCain’s campaign finance reforms) said last week that McCain may still be locked into taking the matching funds anyway.

Ooops.

But hold the phone here… Does anybody smell the rotting fish in this story?

Let me try it this a-way:

His (Obama’s) decision makes him the first major-party candidate to opt out of the public structure for the general election campaign since it was created after the Watergate scandal more than 30 years ago. Republican John McCain, after initially saying he would consider opting out as well, said this evening he would take taxpayer financing for his campaign.

Does that help?

The hypocrisies of the GOP is far too often ignored. Take your average John Q. Dolt who proudly hails himself as a Republican and talk about the poor on the welfare system in this country. You’ll get a thirty minute lecture on the laziness of these welfare recipients. And you’ll get an extra thirty minute lecture on the black woman’s status as “welfare queens” who are producing babies just to draw bigger welfare checks.

Where was James Cayne, Pesident and CEO of Bear Stearns, during the week before that company collapsed? Cayne is a champion bridge player. On the week while his giant-sized company was on the verge of collapse; Cayne was at a Bridge Tournament in Detroit.

The US Treasury secretary Henry Paulson said about bailing out Bear Stearns:

Paulson also sought to send a calming message that the administration of President George W. Bush is on top of the turbulent situation. “The government is prepared to do what it takes” to ease turmoil in the financial system and minimize any damage to the U.S. economy, Paulson said during a series of broadcast interviews. The Fed’s intervention “was not a difficult decision. It was the right decision.

It was the “right decision”.

Corporate welfare is rampant, and the Republicans put up a presidential nominee who’s sucking on the government’s teat and yet they won’t stop bitching about Barack Obama who does – exactly what a Republican preaches: He’ll raise his own funds, thank you very much!

Now let me get back to my responsibilities over at Gay Pride. I have some new recruits that I need to gather up from behind the roadside rests and the public toilets at the Minneapolis/St Paul International Airport. The Lesbian Liberation Army has promised my a special word on my behalf to the Supreme Bitch. I’m all excited and wonder how we’ll be rewarded for all of our hard work.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Minnesota Republicans Exposed

MNGOP3

MNGOP2US Senator Norm Coleman (R-MN) spotted at bar drinking at MSP airport – probably drunk

I have it on a very reliable source deep within the Republican party that Norm Coleman is not only a drunk, he’s a mean drunk too. MRE source said while waiting forty minutes for his flight to take off, he watched the Senator slam seven Fuzzy Navels and six Cuervo shooters while swearing loudly at the waitress and yelling obscenities at her. At one point, Colement grabbed his briefcase and hurled it at an elderly passenger carrying a very nervous looking poodle.

Said the MRE source:

That guy’s drinking is completely out of control. He walked into the bar on the C Concourse and just walked around to all of the tables and emptied all of the peanut dishes into his suit pocket. He made a meal out of them while he sat and got completely #%$%-faced! I don’t even think the Senator had a flight he was waiting for! He just hangs out there and gets drunk!

The bar waitress also complained that he didn’t even leave a tip.

Please check back to Minnesota Republicans Exposed soon for photos of Norm Coleman passed out drunk in an alley sleeping in his own vomit.

by FruitFly | 0 Comments »

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN) failed math test in grammar school. Parents committed her to psychiatric treatment

The phone calls won’t stop here at Minnesota Republicans Exposed headquarters. Hundreds of GOP tattle-tales have left voice mail messages who remember Michele as a young girl living in Anoka. She also failed at Phys Ed in the sixth grade. Everybody seems shocked she even managed to graduated high school before giving birth to her third child.

One phone message said:

I’m not surprised Bachmann hates the gays so much. In high school, the gays were the only ones who wouldn’t have sex with her. Our 10th grade geometry teacher, Mr. Simms once called on Michele to answer a question and accidentally called her “Miss Thang”. He apologized and all…but everybody was laughing anyway.

Please check back to Minnesota Republicans Exposed soon for a thorough exam of the entire Bachmann clan.

by FruitFly | 0 Comments »

Norm Coleman (R-MN) has already launched attack ads on Al Franken. Everybody in the GOP agree: Norm Coleman is an *$%hole

Mike Ciresi has a new campaign out. It’s tasteful, powerful and it reminds Minnesota that he’s been here working for all of us. Al Franken meanwhile, has two videos out already. One is a cute ad that includes his grade school teacher, while the other features his neighborhood in St. Louis Park and just as tasteful.

Also noted has been Norm Coleman’s first ad of the political season. It’s a hate ad that attacks Al Franken for jokes he’s told about gays and abortion in the 70’s. Since rumors are already out about the Senator’s closeted homosexuality, the ads wreak of hypocracy.

Please check back to Minnesota Republicans Exposed soon on more Norm Coleman’s hate campaign ads and his latest on his DWI case

by FruitFly | 0 Comments »

Ron Carey, MN GOP Chairman refused to submit to drug testing.

I had lunch with a young aspiring GOP activist who’s demanded the results of Mr. Carey’s urinalysis test. Over iced-tea sans a lemon-wedge, the MRE source who’s initials are “A.A.” and hails from Blaine, MN told me he’s actually sold marijuana to Mr. Carey during the Pretenders/The Who concert last winter.

Please check back to Minnesota Republicans Exposed soon for an update on Ron Carey’s drug addiction problem.

by FruitFly | 0 Comments »

Still furious about losing Minn SB 25 to Kevin Dahle (DFL), Ray Cox and John Kline have formed an underground FIGHT CLUB in a network of church basements throughout the district. Jim Ramstad expected to heal just fine, and still not running for re-election

MRE has been told under the strictest confidence that the Republicans are still really mad about their loss in the SB25 election. MN GOP Chairman Ron Carey blamed John Kline’s religious nut-ball activists while Michele Bachmann has blamed the closeted homosexuals everywhere throughout the district.

Ray Cox told our MRE source:

“I’m not running for office as a Republican anymore. Those dudes are @$$holes. I don’t care what anybody says. Screw them.”

Evangelical churches have begun holding Fight Club “prayer meetings” in the basements everywhere throughout the district. Piles of cherry flavored Kool-Aid jugs are brought in along with ingenious cream-of-mushroom soup hot dish concoctions and are served generously with rolls and green Jello-O molds in between fights.

Bachmann, volunteering to be the half-naked chick who holds up the poster-signs declaring the match numbers has been met by boos and jeers from the GOP audience. Bachmann reportedly returns the boos and jeers by hissing at them, giving them the finger and in some cases, throwing the posters at them.

…Northfield police have busted four fights in the area and two churches have had to post bail to get their ministers out of jail.FruitFly 6

Please check back to Minnesota Republicans Exposed soon for an update on Fight Clubs and hot-dish casseroles being passed around the SB25 district.

by FruitFly | 8,925 Comments »