Larry Craig: Caught in the Bathroom again! (Well, sort of…)

larry craig stallThis deserves no explanation – the joke writes itself. From The Hill:

While reporters were hovering outside a Capitol Hill conclave of the Michigan and Florida delegations last Wednesday night, Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-Hawaii) just happened to come by to use the restroom, which he did.housefly

But when he emerged, flashing lights surprised him as several cameramen pointed their lenses at Abercrombie. They had been given instructions to shoot any live bodies they could see.

Being from Hawaii, Abercrombie doesn’t have a dog in the Michigan-Florida delegation fight, but there he was, caught in the glare of the cameras like the proverbial deer in the headlights.

Momentarily stunned by the three cameras staring him in the face, Abercrombie decided to have a little Aloha State fun when he looked back toward the restroom and shouted:

“Come on, Larry, it’s all over!”FruitFly

To be clear, there was no one else in the restroom at the time, including Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) — the obvious Larry in question.

Summer Intern “Jobs” Available: Only GOP College Students Need to Apply

Larry Craig ad

WASHINGTON DC: Idaho Senator Larry Craig is currently seeking naked male summer interns for the summer term which runs from summer to fall. The deadline for the position ends on March 15th, however extensions will be offered if applicants are willing to meet the Senator in any designated restrooms for the asking. Preference is given to Idaho male applicants attending Idaho schools who are in their junior or senior years of college (including graduating seniors and football quarterbacks).

“Interns have the chance to be an essential part of a working congressional orgy office,” said Craig. “They participate in the legislative process as well as ensure that constituent services run smoothly. For those interested in politics, it is an incredible opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look at how our government functions while serving the people of Idaho.”

Interns are paired with other hot staff members based on package size, body build, over all hotness and discretion experience and interests, in order to best utilize their sexual talents. They are also expected to fulfill the Senator’s sexual appetite some administrative duties such as answering phones, sorting email and greeting constituents.

Applications are more information about the internship program are available on Craig’s website at http://www.youporn.com or at any of Craig’s six regional offices in Coeur d’Alene, Lewiston, Boise, Twin Falls, Pocatello and Idaho Falls. It is recommended that applications be delivered personally to the regional offices for obvious reasons. Applications can be mailed, but delays are likely due to heightened security measures for Senate mail. Mailed applications should be directed to:

Office of Senator Larry Craig

Attn: Internship Program

United States Senate

Washington, DC 20510-1203

(202) 224-2752

[30]

FruitFly

Oh Dear God: More GOP Corruption and Another Pervert Case…

mexican fruit fliesCongressional Quarterly is reporting that the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) has asked the FBI to investigate looting from inside the organization. The NRCC is the funding-arm for the GOP, politicians who sit down together and strategize which Congressional and/or US Senatorial races need a boost during election cycles. I suspect solving the case should be easy: Simply look at which Republican incumbents who are desperate Michele enough to keep their Bachmann seat in Congress. NRCC Chair, Tom Cole (R-OK) has asked for the investigation and sent a written release saying:

“As part of our ongoing efforts to institute and strengthen financial controls at the National Republican Congressional Committee, we learned earlier this week of irregularities in our financial audit process”

“Since these irregularities may include fraud, we have notified the appropriate law enforcement authorities. We are aggressively and thoroughly investigating the matter and, while we determine the details, we have terminated our relationship with a former employee who was engaged as an outside vendor.”

houseflyThis isn’t the first time the NRCC has reported financial woes. This causes me to believe the looting of Republican funds has been going on for sometime. In November of 2007, NRCC was $4 million in debt and had a parse $1.6 million on-hand. The NRCC hasn’t seen this extreme in financial problems since Michele Bachmann was elected for Minnesota’s 6th CD.

Another strange coincidence? When the bill was brought up to fund security for the city of St Paul and the upcoming GOP 2008 Presidential campaign, everyone of Minnesota’s Congressional delegates voted for those funds, except for Bachmann.

Let’s have a serious talk about the perverts. Perversion and Larceny are, after all, the Flora and the Fauna of the GOP.

Do you remember a company called “Clean Flix”? It was the “GOP Darling” among the Evangelical wing in the early Depression Bush II Years. Clean Flix was a company organized that would “sterilize” Hollywood film from anything they deemed “sinful” for personal distribution grade DVD’s. The Utah-based, Mormon owned company wanted to distribute their movie version and rent them in direct competition to Blockbuster video and Netflix. (Get it? “Flix”? They’re so god damned creative, they even ripped off part of the fucking name from someone else!)Black Garbage Fly

Lawsuits filed in 2002 shut the company down in 2006. Hollywood greatest directors including Spielberg, Redford and Scorsese along with the studios of Disney, Sony, Universal, Paramount and Twentieth Century Fox wrote up a copyright lawsuit so huge, God couldn’t buy an attorney to bail them out. Clean Flix planned to appeal and whipped out a Biblical analogy:

“We’re disappointed,” CleanFlicks CEO Ray Lines said. “This is a typical case of David vs. Goliath, but in this case, Hollywood rewrote the ending. We’re going to continue to fight.”

If you erpped a little bit of vomit in the back of your throat; I share your taste. They look at themselves as “David” who’s trying to steal, plagiarize, sanitize and re-distribute “Goliath’s” art work. So far I don’t think Michele Bachman has had anything to do with this lawsuit.

Thompson LifferthThe company’s CEO’s, both Latter Day Saints (a.k.a. “Mitt Romney Voters”), decided an alternative route: Re-open the store, with the Sin-Free videos and claim them “education material”. It could have worked, if Daniel D. Thompson (31 yrs) and Isaac Liefferth (24 yrs) hadn’t been messing around with the students.

Two 14-year old girls and a 16 year old girl worked their text messaging phones and easily found Thompson and Liefferth who gladly paid them plenty in exchange for oral sex. Yes, I was relieved to learn they were heterosexual perverts too. Because if it was 14 year old boys – “The Gays” would have taken the rap as Thompson and Leifferth were proof that “The Gays” were simply “recruiting”. Since it’s a heterosexual pervert story, there’s no fucking “Gay Agenda” bullshit to worry about.sharpie

It was the 16-year olds Mom who was the sharpie. She noticed the stash of $20’s in the kid’s bedroom and pried the whole god damn story out of her.

The booking documents state Thompson told the 14-year-olds that his film sanitizing business was a cover for a pornography studio. He asked the girls if they would participate in making a porn movie, but they refused, the documents state.

Police found a “large quantity” of pornographic movies inside the business, along with a keg of beer, painkillers and two cameras hooked up to a television. Thompson told police he didn’t know the teenagers were under 18 or that they were paid for sex. He said pornography found at the business was for “personal use,” according to the documents.

Thompson was released Friday after posting $30,000 bail. Lifferth remained in the Utah County jail late Friday, with bail set at $30,000.

Formal charges have not been filed against either man. Calls to Thompson’s phone number went unanswered Friday.

mosquitoNow let’s pull off the fucking buggy-wheels on this baby carriage and look at the fun parts of this story. Peter T. Chattaway notes in Arts and Faith blog the disparaging twist in who is the actual owners of CleanFlix. In his own blog “FilmChat“, he spotted the judge’s ruling in the original lawsuit, Deseret Morning News declaring both Ray Lines and Daniel D. Thompson as CleanFlix CEO/owners. Since Mr. Thompson and Mr. Liefferth’s arrest, CleanFlix has developed severe heartburn over that fucking “CEO” term and has filed a one million dollar lawsuit against Thompson. Mr. Ray Lines goes out of his way to denying any relationship with Mr. Pervert Thompson or his fucking illegal activities with minors in his CleanFlix stores relating to any god damned minors.

“We want everyone to see that we stand for the antithesis of everything with which we have been erroneously linked in recent reports,” said Ray Lines, whom CleanFlicks says is the true founder of their company.

Christianity Today, also one of many media outlets that made the mistake on the whole “CEO/Owner” thing. Other media outlets included Salt Lake Tribune, Provo Daily Herald as well as the local CBS affiliate so at least Christian Today was in fairly good company. Embarrassed by the mix-up, Christianity Today had to ask CleanFlix about the confusion. (They’re Christians for fuck’s sake, they don’t make mistakes!) David Politis, CleanFlix’s publicist explained it very well. After all, not knowing who’s a CEO and who’s an “Owner” can be a wee-bit confusing. Said Politis:

CleanFlicks used to run a number of brick-and-mortar dealerships in Utah, but when they decided to become exclusively an online DVD rental business in 2002, they sold the stores to individuals. Thompson’s father apparently bought three of the stores, and later hired his son, Daniel, to manage one of them. CleanFlicks later required all of the brick-and-mortar stores to cease using the CleanFlicks name.

Apparently, Daniel isn’t a CEO/Owner afterall. He’s a manager while his Daddy is the real “CEO/Owner”. But “Junior” is the one being sued for millions of dollars for infringing on the trademark of a fine quality corporation that infringes on professional grade film and art.housefly

Also worth noting: While stupidly not doing their homework the first time when the original broke, Christianity Today decided to include something CleanFlix’s discovered about Thompson:

Meanwhile, CleanFlicks had also learned that Daniel Thompson had served time in the Utah County Jail for various indictments on securities fraud, money laundering, and theft. (Documents from the Fourth District Court in Provo confirm this.) At that time, CleanFlicks told Thompson’s father that they would no longer do business with his son.

No god damned background checks at the CleanFlix corporation to “run” and manage your fucking brick-and-mortar outlet’s Mr. Lines? Christianity Today, along with a half-dozen other media outlets can’t the time to do a little research before going to print?

Extra credit for homework on this story includes:CleanFlix Founder Ray Lines

CBS KUTF-2: Wrongfully accused Clean Flix wants to clear its name

CBS KUTV-2: Hollywood threats force film sanitizing services out of business

YouTube user “CleanFlix” appears with an upload of the band U2 receiving an award. The video includes the customized tag at the beginning and the end with “www.righteousbuckles.com“. That tag line on your Mozilla Firefox window will say: “Uplifting Belt Buckle (Christian Mormon)” and they encourage you to “CTR”. It’s code for: “Chose The Right”. “CleanFlix” joined YouTube on June 7, 2006, five days after the Courts shut the CleanFlix business down.

Salon: Editing out Julia Roberts’ role as a prostitute in “Pretty Woman” proves to be difficult for Mormons who would love to rent the DVD.FruitFly

FlowTV:Huntsman v. Soderbergh and Copyright Law – A case study on the subject of CleanFlix product.

Mormon News: In defense of CleanFlix’s copyright violations and demand that Latter Day Saints (Mitt Romney Voters) be allowed to enjoy “sterilized” videos produced from their Pervert Party members. (Dated; Feb ’01)

Another GOP Sex Scandal: Norm Coleman Campaign Donor

HA! Pams House Blend picked it up from 365Gay.com on the newest sex scandal within the GOP. This one is out of Texas (why not?!) and is just as tawdry and hypocritical as the rest of that sleazy dirty-minded bunch.

RosenthalCharles (Chuck) Rosenthal, Houston, TX was the famous attorney who blew it (no pun intended) for all of those stupid Sodomy Laws throughout the country. Rosenthal argued that homosexuality, along with adultry was not protected under any form of privacy because it cough cough it didn’t protect the American families and preserve marriage and reproduce.

The 2003 case was notably called “Johnson v Texas“.

His argument was taken all the way up to the US Supreme Court where the entire Sodomy Law “concept” fell down for all of the states. Finally; states had to devise a new and improve ways to harass the gays and lesbians.

Rosenthal said:

“I think that this Court having determined that there are certain kinds of conduct that it will accept and certain kinds of conduct it will not accept may draw the line at the bedroom door of the heterosexual married couple because of the interest that this Court has that this Nation has and certainly that the State of Texas has for the preservation of marriage, families and the procreation of children.”

…Chuck went on to say:hypocrisy

Even if you infer that various States acting through their legislative process have repealed sodomy laws, there is no protected right to engage in extrasexual – extramarital sexual relations, again, that can trace their roots to history or the traditions of this nation.”

Well, now that’s all thrown out the window. All of that “protected privacy” crap disappeared when Rosenthal’s office PC ended up in a civil lawsuit. It turns out that his hard drive revealed that he’s been having an affair with his executive secretary (assumed a female “sexitary”<?>). To make matters worse, the drive revealed that in addition to his love for racist jokes (and which GOP’er doesn’t love a good racist joke now and again), but he loves to check out sex videos during his spare time (dirty old man). Even though his election term runs out this November, Harris County might fire him for “official misconduct”. (Let’s hope someone cleans that keyboard before it gets adopted by somebody else!)

HA! …I love the smell of a fried Republican hypocrites in the morning!

So I trekked off to see who this guy’s contributed to which GOP and I find out that September 19, 2006 he dontated $500 to … drum roll please: NORM COLEMAN!!!

ColemanOh NOOOO!!! Say it ain’t so Norman!! You aren’t taking money from adulterers and porn kings, are you?!! Plastic surgeries, taking money from perverts… Shoot! You can bitch about liberal Hollywood types but you’re more Hollywood than any of them!

In 2008, Norm continues on as the Republican ideology known as “Hate Politics”. He’s rarely cared about what Minnesotans want, or expects out of our Federal Government. Instead, he’s spent six years listening to what King George wants, what Big Corrupt Corporations wants, and what high-profile homophobes want.FruitFly

If Norm is going to take campaign money from hate mongers, then it’s time he justifies it. Paul Wellstone wouldn’t hesitate one second to explain each and every nickel and dime he took for his own campaigns. Why should Hollywood Norm get a free pass for taking cash from perverts from Texas?

Larry Craig Wastes more Minnesota Taxpayer’s Money

Larry Craig FunniesHow much time and money does the Minnesota taxpayer have to waste on Republican Larry Craig’s “Adventures in Potty Land?” His legal team has filed yet another appeals in the Minnesota courts system hoping they’ll eventually get a Pawlenty R-Gov MN) appointed judge. Craig’s team has decided to split pubic hairs with Minnesota law:

An appeals brief filed Tuesday contends that Minnesota’s disorderly conduct law “requires that the conduct at issue have a tendency to alarm or anger ‘others'” — underscoring the plural nature of the term.

Craig’s brief goes on to cite other convictions that were overturned because the multiple-victim test wasn’t met. His lawyers apply the same logic to his case.

His attorneys have also argued that Craig’s actions only affected the police officer (who of course, is irrelevant in this case). And since the statute requires to offend others, Craig’s actions shouldn’t be considered a crime.

“Appellant’s alleged conduct in this case affected only a single individual — Sergeant Karsnia,” the Craig brief says. “It did not — and could not affect ‘others’ as the disorderly conduct statute requires, and therefore, does not satisfy that element of the statute.”

But wait! There’s more!

Sergeant Karsnia doesn’t count as a party to the crime that would be regarded as “offended”.

You might say; “You’re kidding Fruit! Why?”

…Let me tell you why!!

The brief also argues that Karsnia himself could not have been offended by the alleged conduct because “he invited it.” The alleged conduct, Craig’s lawyers added, doesn’t rise to the level of being “offensive, obscene, abusive, boisterous or noisy.”

You’d probably say: “That’s stupid! That’s an insult to our own ‘Boys in Blue!’ How dare this Idaho Pervert insult our officers here in Minnesota!!?!”

But wait! There’s more!

What about that hand-gesture underneath the stall’s separating wall? He reaches over with his left hand under the wall on his right-hand side and holds his hand out hoping to masturbate his bathroom neighbor? It turns out – that’s now considered “free speech”!!free speech

Besides attacking the law he was prosecuted under, Craig’s legal team argues that the hand signal allegedly used to communicate a desire to engage in sexual conduct would be constitutionally protected speech. They also say the plea is technically flawed because it lacked a judicial signature.

Huh!! Ain’t that sumpin’?! All these years, I’ve been told that burning the American flag was protected free speech! And to think all of those times I got arrested slutting on Bare-Assed Beach along the Mississippi River…All I had to do is tell the judge that I was exercising my Constitutionally protected free speach!

FruitFly 6All of this puzzles me why Minnesota Republicans aren’t bitching about the wasted taxpayer spending here in Minnesota. They didn’t say much when they wasted $57 million investigating Clinton either!

One day Suzanne Craig will get smart and have an AIDS test too.