Found, Wrapped around Fish

42-15704992Liberal Media

Kevin Diaz, of the Minneapolis Star Tribune, has a column published in today’s press entitled “Pawlenty cool to stiumulus proposals.” Diaz, apparently the Scoop Sleuth of “liberal media” here in Minnesota, was sent to Washington DC to the recent Governors Conference and the best he could do was to write about Pawlenty’s skepticism on Obama’s proposals.

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, meeting Tuesday with President-elect Barack Obama, distanced himself from a bipartisan group of governors pressing for federal funds to alleviate state budget shortfalls and boost local economies.

Nice, huh? An entire column that talks about Pawlenty bitching and whining about Obama’s proposals and filled with nay saying jibberish.

I have a couple problems with this:

  • Forgive my amnesia, but I don’t recall one single column Mr. Diaz ever wrote on some Democrat criticizing the Buish Administration on anything. For eight very long years, this country has been subjected to the rule of a President who has the diction equal to that of a third grader, and the IQ equivalent to that of a grapefruit. Banks have failed, the US Auto Industry has failed, anti-trust laws broken everywhere, and not one drop of ink spent on a Democrat criticizing the Bush Administration. Not one!
  • Exactly how does Governor Pawlenty rate as any political ghuru when it comes to governing anything anyway? Does the Governor propose more bridge crashing, tunnel caving and coal mine collapsing as a viable alternative? Why does Kevin Diaz write all of this crap about what Sour Puss Pawlenty have to say about anything? There’s nothing Pawlenty has to offer in the piece – except criticism. Exactly what we all need at a time like this!!

In the same newspaper, published in the very same issue, the very same Governor Pawlenty gets hawkish on our own Minnesota budget by hinting that he plans to cut more spending. In a piece entitled “Pawlenty to propose cuts with new budget, Pawlenty belches:

While Pawlenty declined to quantify the near-term deficit, he said he expects it to be “noteworthy” but not “unmanageably large.”

The Republican governor said he aims to work with the DFLers who control the Legislature to identify spending that can be pulled back within the next few weeks. He said he could also make cuts on his own through an executive power called unallotment.

I’ll let you dissect that second paragraph there anyway you see fit. But I’m translating that statement as a clear signal Pawlenty has already concluded that he

  1. Won’t work with the DFL on anything – but demand the DFL work with him and he’ll plan on bitching and whining because they won’t, and…
  2. Goes rogue and pull rabbits out of his Magic Hat by engaging in bizarre and under-utilized terms such as “unallotments”.

He’s going to sit back and criticize Obama’s plan to give money to local and state governments, and yet he’ll scratch his balls and complain about cutting Minnesota’s budget.

It’s clear people: Not enough bridges have fallen in Minnesota for Pawlenty’s liking. There’ll be more! And Minnesotan’s will continue to pay attention to a Republican that cares nothing about them. …And the Star Tribune will continue to print “Right Wing Philosophies” and ignore Democrats because it’s worked so well for us in the past! (err…That was sarcasm, okay?!)

Karl Rove: “Political Genius”

CNN is reporting that Karl Rove, “The Boy Wonder” of the failed Republican Party has gone out to hint that Governor Sarah Palin will be the ultimate subject in a marketplace of ideas.

That liberal “Clinton News Network” has published a piece entitled: Rove says ‘marketplace of ideas’ will decide Palin’s fate:

“Republicans believe in markets, so the marketplace of ideas will decide what the answer [to her future] is,” Rove told NBC Tuesday. “These people are going to get out there, campaign, offer their ideas, offer themselves.”

That’s right – Republicans believe in Markets more than they believe in our troops sitting in their own feces and urine at Walter Reed Hospital. They believe in markets just like they believe in no-bid contracts to the Vice President’s former companies like Haliburton and Bechtel.

Why isn’t Karl Rove in jail? Isn’t he AWOL from two congressional subpoenas or something? Oh nevermind; He’s a Republican. I forgot. If you’re a Republican, you’re above the law. Liberals and Progressives…We’d be in jail faster than a three twitches from a beaver’s tail.

But the best part of the article is the second comment left by someone called “In The Know” who said simply:

Palin who???

My sentiments exactly. “Palin who?!?!” They must be referencing that governor from Alaska who ends every sentence with a prepositional phrase and who’s sentences have ninety-five words or more in them and then are free then there to ramble on with no point at all whatsoever and where she rules from a land that can see Russia from her state and who was called a “Diva” from the John McCain campaign and who helped McCain lose the election there and type things like that. That “Palin”?! Oh, now I know who Karl Rove was talking about…

Ryan Evans: Arclight Zero – It’s not just his IQ level anymore

I have a number of favorite Republican blogs I like to read. Mostly for the entertainment value found in them. Some folks like the Sunday funny pages, I like Republican bloggers! Roger Ailes, CEO of Fox News Television, being my all time favorite. But I digress.

Evans is a blogger in a small town over in Chedderville Wisconsin who spends a great deal of his time pontificating on Republican ideology. (As if any Republican alive today would be willing to take credit for the financial debacle we’re currently in right now, makes pontificating anything on Republican Ideology nothing short of stupid. Yes, I said it: “Stupid”. Arclight Zero pontificates on really Stupid Stuff. There, I said it again.)

Mr. Evans blogs a piece that bitches from his side of the St Croix and Mississippi River about those of us in Minnesota and our smoking bans in bars and restaurants. In his piece “Smoking Bans: Learning from Mistakes“, Evans says:

Well, it would seem that the Minnesota smoking ban is doing exactly what it was predicted to do; it is making the anti-smoking crowd feel empowered and driving small bars out of business. Is this what should be considered a success story? I guess if the goal was to stomp out small business in the name of “public health,” sure, let’s call it a success. I’m not rightly sure what else has been gained; of course if you ask the anti’s, they carry a different opinion.

He grabs a “headliner” from that ultra-conservative CBS affiliate WCCO here in the Twin Cities who’s ran a story about a bar that’s closing in Detroit Lakes, and the bar owner is blaming statewide law that bans smoking in bars and restaurants.

WCCO doesn’t take a look into the bar’s finances … Perhaps the bar has closed because the bar was a crap-hole in the first place? Or, perhaps it became a haven exclusively to the smoking crowd because the non-smokers couldn’t and wouldn’t sit and drink in a cloud of toxic smog? These conversations are never taken into consideration. Never! And as long as the Conservative Republicans run and control our media, they never will.

Evans crabs about the anti-smoker crowd and laments the crappy bar owner in Detroit Lakes as a “poor small business owner” by noting the issue of public health:

They don’t even address the issue, which tells me that they feel that they are above this issue. To them, the issue ends at public health. Everything else is just trivial. I guess they just consider it to be collateral damage that comes with forcing their cause upon the rest of us.

In a country where our health care is for shit already, and people don’t have universal health care, what is the state expected to do? How else is the state going to reduce the number of people rotting in our Emergency Rooms dying from lung cancer because they worked in a toxic cloud as a bartender and a restaurant server.

But, Republicans couldn’t give a crap about “public health” in America, nor could they care about the common worker here in America. If it’s bad for business – Then let’s criticize it! Let’s ridicule it!

Do you remember S-CHIP? When they could offer health care for children, the Republicans felt it would be bad for business and they voted against it! Children, for Christ sakes! They’d rather see children go without health care for the benefit of “business owners”.

Hey, Mr. Evens – Something to be said about our bars and restaurants…

“You can come over here, enjoy a beer or two, and you won’t go home smelling like an ashtray! Because there’s no way I’m going to any bar or restaurant over there in Chedderville if that’s what I’m going to smell like when I leave.

Oh…and by the way… I’m a bartender.”

Sincerely,

Fruit F. Fly

Republicans need to think in different terminologies. The Smoking Ban has lost a lot of customers who smoke. Forcing them outside has inconvenienced them so much that they’d rather stay home and smoke than to hang out with their buddies and have a beer. Bartenders and bar owners have the unique opportunity to be even more competitive in their business without overflowing ashtrays on their tables and bars. But, “competition” and “creativity” are terms that Republicans aren’t willing to explore. They’re lazy. And I’m willing to bet, they are just as lazy as that bar owner up there in Detroit Lakes.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Peeking in on Roger Ailes’ Blog…

Lord VoldemortI love snooping in on Right Wing crazies to find out what’s inside their brains. Most of the time, I come up empty, but I try not to seem to stunned by the fact.

Fox News CEO, Roger Ailes, has a personal blog and I found his entry on Easter Sunday rather amusing:

Happy Easter

Or, as John McCain calls it, the Jewish Custer’s Last Stand.

The Senator has no campaign events scheduled for today, as he will spend theFruitFly entire holiday hunting, unsuccessfully, for the Easter eggs he hid last night.

Now there’s a miserable Republican voter!

Hillary’s Follies and Foibles? (I’m Not One to Gloat!)

HClinton I’m ready to fully support Hillary Clinton as the new President of the United States! It’s way past due we have a woman as President of the United States. However, I’m not sure Hillary is that woman! Besides, I see in my crystal ball that these tiny little goof-ups are going to catch up with her soon. And I’ve promised myself that I wouldn’t be one to gloat when it does.

Hillary’s latest staff change has apparently upset a potentially large voting block in the upcoming Texas primary. Removing Patti Solis Doyle as Clinton’s campaign manager has blown it for one Super Delegate; Steven Ybarra of California.

Heading the voting rights league of the DNC Hispanic Caucus, Ybarra has fired off an angry email to fellow Latina delegates within hours after the campaign announced Solis Doyle was being replaced by Maggie Williams who is of African-American decent.

Ybarra told The Post yesterday that the loss of Solis Doyle, a child of Mexican immigrants, just weeks before the Texas primary, where 36 percent of the population is Hispanic, was “dumb as a stump.”

Solis Doyle has rushed to defend the move by noting she was still an active adviser on the Clinton campaign and that the change was amiable. She dismissed allegations that her position be replaced was not under hostile conditions.

Ybarra, pointing to Senator Clinton’s pledged loyalty to the Hispanic voters everywhere said angrily in his email:

The e-mail noted that Clinton, who is looking to Latino voters for a boost in the Texas and Ohio primaries on March 4, scored heavily with Hispanics in her California win.

“Apparently, loyalty is not a two-way street,” he wrote. “Latino superdelegates like myself . . . will have cause to pause.”

With Texas and Ohio’s primaries coming up in two weeks, it’ll be a matter of timing to turn those Hispanic votes into loyal Obama followers.

I would mark this as Clinton’s 4th political mistake made in her campaign so far.

  1. Teachers Union endorsing Clinton filed a lawsuit against the Culinary Union for supporting Barack Obama. Clinton mistake was evident: While on Meet the Press with Tim Russert, Clinton seemed apathetic and explained she felt it was better for the courts to decide. The smart political move would have been to tell Russert that she’s disappointed by the lawsuit and would talk to the Teachers Union to find a simpler solution to work out their differences.
  2. After Clinton, Obama and the entire Presidential delegation signed promises to certain rules for this upcoming election campaign, Clinton patently broke her sworn signature by sitting in Florida’s primaries complaining about their lack of delegates. She appeared hypocritical while she whined that these Florida votes couldn’t be counted and that alluded that she was embattling the very DNC who’s rules she signed-off and promised to cooperate with. A real political professional would be to appeal to Howard Dean and the DNC from her home state in New York and urge for an amicable resolution to benefit everybody.
  3. Clinton’s decision to go ahead with the debate on Fox News. After they all promised not to appear on Fox News, CEO Roger Ailes eventually said (stupidly):

“The candidates that can’t face Fox, can’t face Al Qaeda,”

Now Clinton has accepted the invitation to have a debate on Fox, with or without Barack Obama.

There is an enormous interest in these debates an clamoring on the part of the Democratic Party for them,” said Clinton’s spokesperson Howard Wolfson. “We have not had a large number in which two people have participated. We’ve had multi-candidate debates… the fact is Senator Clinton has enjoyed the opportunity to debate and get her message out. Certainly as we move to the next exciting day of this nomination calendar, voters want the opportunity to see these two candidates compete against each other.”

hindenburgHer time on Fox will go down like a The Hindenburg with the No Smoking signs turned off. Especially without Barack Obama being there to share in the debate. And Obama certainly has no interest in raising any advertising revenue for Roger Ailes.

Obama’s clean sweep tonight through the Potomac is going to hurt the Clinton campaign…and severely.

NBC reported tonight that Clinton had no schedule to appear in Wisconsin before the next race and is sending former President BillFruitFly 6 Clinton and their daughter Chelsea instead. That will make Hillary Clinton’s fifth mistake in this campaign.

Thankfully, I’m not gloating. Because if I was gloating, I would come off as “cheap” and “tawdry”. And everybody knows that I’m not “tawdry”.