Who’s contributing to McCain’s campaign? Errr: Who isn’t?

I was cruising along Buzzflash, reading their headlines, and I noticed this:

Few House GOP donate to McCain 7/18

Now that has to be the shortest headline Buzz has ever published. Typically, a Buzzflash headline is twelve pages long and may contain footnotes and Cliff Notes. But the story was also interesting; Not a lot of GOPers in the House and the Senate who are giving to McCain’s campaign!

Only 21 House Republicans have given to McCain from their personal campaign accounts since he became the presumptive GOP nominee four and a half months ago, according to an analysis of House fundraising reports made public Wednesday.

In addition, eleven House Republicans who did not give from their personal campaign accounts this year contributed from their leadership political action committees (PACs), according to fundraising reports covering the election cycle through the end of May.

So while nearly half the Senate GOP conference has given to McCain, less than 20 percent of House Republicans have pitched in.

Several of the highest-ranking Republicans in the House have yet to give to McCain. Republican Whip Roy Blunt (Mo.) and Republican Conference Chairman Adam Putnam (Fla.) have not given anything, according to the most recent fundraising reports.

That’s kinda strange, don’t you think? You’d think they’d all be out there front and center supporting “The McCain Machine”!

But, why bother trying to find the Flock Faithful and have contributed to McSame, perhaps the better question is – Who hasn’t?

Open Secrets reports:

  • Michele (The Ding Bat) Bachmann (R-MN 6th) – $0.00 in contributing to anything. She hasn’t sprouted one red penny to anything. Of course, she’s probably groping and molesting George W. Bush right now, …At this very moment, she’s dry-humping GWB’s leg while trying desperately to shove her tongue down GW’s throat.
  • John Kline (R-MN 2nd) – $0.00 in contributing to anything. Only two Kline’s are listed, one from MInneapolis contributing to Ciresi and one in Wayzata contributing to Norm Coleman (R-Rubber Puppet).
  • Jim Ramstad (R-MN 3rd) – $2,500 was given to John McCain’s campaign in mid-May 2008. Good for Congressman Ramstad! We have someone in Minnesota who at least tries to support McSame. The Republicans “Golden Boy” supports McCain – and he’s the one jetting out of his office. (…out of embarrassment, I’m sure.)
  • Tim Pawlenty (R-MN Governor) – $0.00 in contributing anything. Tim Pawlenty doesn’t donate to jack-diddly-do. Nada. McCain’s National Campaign Chair and he doesn’t donate anything himself?!? Pretty cheesy there, don’t you think?
  • Norm Coleman (R-MN Rubber Puppet) – $0.00 in contributing anything. Nothing. Since Bush’s name is attached, Coleman isn’t paying attention to it anything.
  • Ron Carey – (R-MN GOP Chair) – $0.00 He ain’t donated anything. In fact, all of the Carey’s listed in Open Secrets have donated heavily to Democrats. (Still no word on that investigation Ron Carey’s under for overcharging the state of Minnesota…)
  • Ron Eibensteiner – (R-MN former GOP Chair) – $2,300 was donated to John McSame back in June 2007. He also donated $2,300 to the Rubber Puppet in January 2008.

I got to thinking…

  • Joe Soucheray, that Republican tool job on KSTP: $0.00. Nothing.
  • David Senjem (R-MN Minority Leader in the Senate): $0.00 Nothing.
  • Marty Seifert (R-MN Minority Leader in the House): $0.00 Nothing.

For all of the prominent Republicans from Minnesota, you’d think John McCain could have raised more than $4,800. To earn extra-credit, I ran these names against The Huffington Post‘s Fund Race and I got the same results. (Which probably means Huffington Post is using OpenSecrets.org database to extrapolate the exact same data…)

…Just sayin’.

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Carol Molnau Gets The Hatchet on Thursday: Large Crowds Expected for Excecution

HatchetFrom the Minneapolis Star-Trubune

DFLers may fire Molnau Thursday, Senate leaders say

Senate DFLers are planning to vote as early as tomorrow to reject Carol Molnau as the state Transportation Commissioner, according to Senate leaders.

Senate Minority Leader Dave Senjem, R-Rochester, said he was told by Senate Majority Leader Larry Pogemiller that the vote would occur Thursday.

In an interview, Pogemiller, DFL-Minneapolis, wouldn’t say when the vote will take place, but he said the votes are there to deny her confirmation in the transportation commissioner post. He said discussions were continuing today on when to hold the vote and how to do it “in a dignified manner.”

While Pogemiller would not say when the vote would occur, Senjem said Pogemiller has been clear to him that the vote is scheduled for Thursday.

“I don’t think they are going to enter into the debate a lot. I think they are doing it on a day when the news is going to be dominated by the budget and so this issue will be somewhat secondary,” Senjem said. “We’re prepared here for tomorrow. You don’t have to plan real far ahead to do this.”

Senate DFLers caucused today on the issue, Senjem said he was told. The Senate would only need a simple majority to vote down Molnau’s confirmation and Pogemiller said today it was clear the votes were there to reject her.

Hrmm… It would seem that the DFL here in Minnesota stuffed their hands into bloomers and found – Lo and Behold! They found some cajones!

I’ll betcha Minn GOP Chair Lord Voldemort Ron Carey starts to cry. No! No! It’ll be Governor Timmeh who cries, Lord Voldemort will say:

“Kerfuffle, Kerfuffle,FruitFly 6 Kerfuffle, Kerfuffle, Kerfuffle!!”

crybabyI’ll bet Michael B. Brodkorb cries too. He’s a crybaby. He’ll blubber on for about it for a week or so. His titles will go from <H3> to <H1> and he’ll start bleeding from his eyes. Watch all of the GOP do this: “GASP! How rude!! These DFL’ers are such savages!!”

Republican GOP Pawlenty Stunt makes veto-proof DFL Senate

The WallNovember 27, 2007 – Governor Tim Pawlenty (R) appointed State Senator Tom Neuville (R-Northfield) to serve as a judge in the 3rd District (in Rice County). In exchange for a replacement, he declared a special election (Jan 3rd 2008) to fill the vacant seat. All expectations were that a Republican would win in a landslide. It was a logical expectation. The area is, afterall, in the heart of the Congressional 1st District.

In 2006, Republicans were convinced that some obscure high school wrestling football coach named Tim Walz being elected to Congress was freakishly weird and they were positive it would be impossible to ever happen again.

Put simply: This area is GOP property and they insist the DFL keep their dirty hands off.

Last July, Pawlenty appointed Representative Steve Sviggum (R-HD 28B) as Commissioner of Labor and Industry. Sviggum, from the same geographical, was his first pick and it was a gamble. But it was a gamble he was willing to play because it was in the heart of the Republican party: south and east of the Twin Cities. Needless to say, it was a safe (political) bet. And the bet paid off: Republican Steve Drazkowski defeated DFL candidate Linda Pfeilsticker 52.9 to 46.9.

Ron Carey, Minnesota’s GOP Chair, threaded his thumbs under the lapels of his suit coat after that win, belched twice and proudly:

…characterized Drazkowski’s win as signaling “growing Republican momentum as we head into 2008,” the GOP should be cautious to read too much into this race. District 28B has voted overwhelmingly for Republican candidates in recent years.

But Pawlenty’s second gambled proved Carey wrong.

Pawlenty didn’t expect anybody would want to go out and vote in the dead of winter, especially with the distractions of the Iowa Caucuses going on. So the Governor arbitrarily decided January 3rd as a special election day just for those in the 3rd District. The stakes of second gamble was bigger than the first, and nobody, including Ron Carey, paid any attention.

Ray CoxOn November 27th, word was official that Ray Cox would run in the race to replace Neuville. Mary Lahammer of the MN Public Television’s Almanac excitedly explained that Cox was the favored son to win. On November 27th, Lahammer gushed over Cox like a cheerleader over the quarterback:

I think you’re hearing it here first, former State Representative Ray Cox just told me, “yes, I do plan to run” for the seat Sen. Tom Neuville is expected to vacate today. Cox told me he had coffee this morning with Sen. Neuville and he encouraged Cox to attend Gov. Pawlenty’s announcement at 1:00 in Faribault where the governor will appoint a new judge to the Rice County bench.

The only group that worried about a special election in the dead of winter was the League of Women Voters who sent a letter to all of the newspapers in the district saying:

To the Editor:

To fill the District 25 state senate seat vacated by Sen. Tom Neuville, whom Governor Pawlenty appointed to a judgeship, the governor has called a special election on January 3rd and a primary election on December 18th.

The League of Women Voters believes that eligible voters have the right to be informed about candidates’ positions, the right to vote, and the right to have their vote counted. Scheduling an election immediately after a major holiday season protects none of these rights for many voters.

There is a real possibility that it may be difficult if not impossible for significant numbers of absentee voters to obtain and return absentee ballots by mail in time for them to be counted.

Still, nobody’s paying any attention. It’s a perfect set-up. Pawlenty, Ron Carey…They’re all very… very comfortable with the “Electoral hood-wink of 2008.”

Exactly one month later, December 27, Mpls Star Tribune endorsed Cox and complained that while Dahle was a good man, he simply lacked any experience as a politician. Ray Cox, the Trib claimed, although a Republican, was a moderate in his politics. They cited his stand on environmental issues among other things. (Thanks to Northfield blogger site Locally Grown.)

The entire GOP was happy. No need to call the Minneapolis Star-Tribune a “liberal media outlet” this time. True to the demands of the Star-Trib’s corporate heads of boards and cheating editorial chief; the Strib did it’s job in supporting the GOP. And so the party went back to their Holiday Spirits and roasted their nuts by warm fire light.MomMorph

Pretty arrogant of the GOP, don’t you think? They have an election going on, called by their own party, and they don’t do jack-squat about it. They’d even get the state’s largest newspaper to endorse their guy and they don’t give a whit! They’d rather stay home and count how many knuckles they can stuff up their nose on one finger.

Yesterday..:January 3rd: The good citizens of the 25th district went out, stomped through the cold and voted en mass for DFL candidate Kevin Dahle, sans GOP electoral efforts.

Minnesota Secretary of State’s reports that Kevin Dahle won in an easy landslide:

  • Independant Vance Norgaard 296 votes 2.40%
  • Republican Ray Cox 5225 votes 42.37%
  • DFL Kevin Dahle 6802 votes 55.15%
  • Write-In 10 votes 0.08%

The Minnesota GOP has since, become unglued:Brodkorb with Al Franken

Michael B. Brodcorb of Minnesota Democrats Exposed, went stumping for votes by going door to door on Wednesday (1/2/8). But the following day, the day of the election, he decided to sit at home and bitch in his blog that Minnesota’s Secretary of State Mark Ritchie (DFL) buried the news that there was a special election.

(Yes Mr. Brodcorb… Since the GOP didn’t do their job in notifying their constituents that there was such an election, it’s time to once again bitch at the DFL Secretary of State for not doing a good enough job to you satisfaction. …Because everybody knows that each and every GOP voter checks the S.O.S.’s website daily for updated information on issues such as elections, and …”licensing fees”. We all agree: “You’ve been horribly wronged, and we sympathize.”)

What an embarrassing Bawl Baby.

Meanwhile, Drew Emmer of Wright County Republican, complained bitterly about the loss. For Emmer, it wasn’t DFL Mark Ritchie’s fault at all. No, it was the fault of Al Franken and Rep Tim Walz (DFL MN CD-1) who stumped hard through the cold and the snow for voters to turn out for Kevin Dahle. Blame that damned Al Franken and that freaky football coach for the GOP’s woes. In fact, Emmer’s entire blog entry reaks of a third grader who’s just had his juice-box stolen:

Local politics is finite math. The DFL found victory in coy manipulation of same-day registration and what is reported as a higher than expected student turnout in Northfield proper. There was no credible rallying alarm for the conservative base to respond to. That was largely because many in the conservative base felt somewhat excluded by the process whereby Neuville anointed Cox without the benefit of a grassroots vetting of the GOP endorsement.

To be honest, Emmer’s gripe is valid. The GOP arrogantly assumed it was an easy win for Cox from the beginning. (Considering the district is historically “moderately” conservative.) Pawlenty made the appointment because everybody was on the hay-wagon for this sleazy deal from the beginning, right?!

No. Brodkorb was pissed off. Fingers still frostbitten from Tuesdays doorbell smashing, he unleashed a butt-load of whoop-ass on his GOP com padres:

Drew, I consider you a friend and I tip my hat to you. You did nothing to help out with the SD 25 special election, yet by quickly pointing out this morning how everyone else stumbled, you win the first-ever Minnesota Democrats Exposed Man Not In The Arena Award.

Drew’s prize is the opportunity to come on tomorrow’s radio show and tell the listeners of NARN “The Final Word” how we all could have done a better job. The number is (651) 289-4488 and I look forward to Drew’s collecting his prize anytime after 3:45 p.m. Congrats Drew!

It’s more fun than watching midget-wrestling, don’t you think?!

Bush Evil The knee-jerk is to lash out and throw fiery barbs at your friends by giving them “Dunce Awards” hoping that, when Der Fuher shows up at the Xcel Energy Center this fall, he’ll decide who’s to blame for this disaster. (Hopefully he’ll blame Emmer!! Oh please! Oh please! Let it be Emmer!!)

Brokorb isn’t finished either. Mitch Berg, of “Shot in the Dark” also was pissed off at the loss, and blogged about it. Brodkorb offered a stupid “Runner-Up Dunce Cap” award:

My NARN colleague (and friend) Mitch Berg wins “honorable mention” by regurgitating Drew’s post and adding his own “analysis” on why the Republican effort came up short in SD 25. I’ll will be asking Mitch to stay in the studio tomorrow (NARN II ends right before NARN III begins) to claim his “honorable mention” award. Congrats Mitch!

The Minnesota DFL has check-mated the Republican governor.

Pawlenty’s lost the Minnesota Senate to the DFL with a veto-proof majority and in 2006, he lost all of the State’s elected Officers to the DFL. We’re down to 1 Republican US Senator in Norm Coleman (Lame Flip-Flopper), Michele (Jesus) Bachmann in the 6th (Wack-Job), John Kline in the 2nd CD (Iraqi War whore) and the GOP’s only respected elected official, Jim Ramstad (R-Stepping Down Maybe) in the third.

The biggest applause belongs to Kevin Dahle and his wife Beth. “Welcome to the DFL and to political ground-swell movement of Change Senator Dahle! We’re weird, we’re nutty, and occasionally we’re bitFruitFly 6 kookie. But we’re always pleased that you’re there to represent us.”

My humble thanks to Zack over at MNPublius, who deserves all of the credit for all of the information on this subject. If I didn’t have my “Zack” over at MN Publius, nothing in this blog entry would make any sense at all.

Found on a Doorstep

doorstephouseflyMSNBC’s Kieth Olbermann is AFK (away from keyboard) because he’s now missing his appendix. It means we’ll be stuck with that blond girl for the next day or so.

houseflySec of State Condi Rice is now officially a lesbian. Well, sort of… She shares ownership of a home in Palo Alto with a liberal progressive documentary film maker. The woman is single, never been married and is considered Dr. Rice’s closest friend. Oh…and the woman’s lasts name is “Bean”. Obviously, the home’s mailbox proudly says; “Rice and Bean’s“.

houseflySenators John Kerry (D-MA) and John McCain (R-AZ) were on Meet the Press on Sunday. When the fight was over, McCain had a broken arm, a wrenched back a bloody-lip and one tooth was missing. Kerry walked away as the declared winner with only a black-eye.

houseflyThe Flying Nun has a foul mouth – But thankfully, FOX was there to protected us from the profanity. Click here if you want to hear the uncensored version, but remember: Jesus will hate you for it.

houseflyMinneapolis’ famous bridge remains collapsed. No money has been received from the feds, no agreements on rebuilding the bridge, no contracts to the bridge and the Mayor leaves for US Conference of Mayors embarrassed and ashamed. Said Minnesota’s Republican Governor Tim Pawlenty: “So what? The mayor has plenty of other roads available! Why are these Democrats such jerks! Gimme Gimme Gimme! That’s all they whine about…!!!”

Update: Another bridge in Minneapolis has been closed. It’s been discovered that the foundation, built in 1905, has shifted about eleven inches from it’s original position. The decking of the bridge was last replaced in 1958. Note: MN DOT isn’t doing anything about this bridge – it’s a county project and the Governor kept making “whiny” noise-imitations when he was told about this bridge closing.

houseflyThe Chinese have generously given Hawai’i a boat load of poisonous spiders, which they didn’t want in the first place. US Customs officials, understaffed and under paid aren’t sure of what to do about it. Perhaps killing them would be appropriate? Said one Customs official: “Thankfully, al Queda hasn’t figured out the shipping industry yet.”

houseflyRepublican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney uses St Vincent’s Hospital in New York City to explain why Hillary Clinton’s health care plan is stupid and how much the Mormon church hates sick mommies and daddies. St Vincent’s Hospital objected to being used as a prop for political reasons, and Romney’s team shot back: “Who cares what St Vincent’s thinks?”

houseflyCurentTV’s Super News has a new issue out that’s fun. It accurately depicts the Republican Party’s young people in a timeless episode spoofing the movie “The Hills“.

houseflyJim Ramstad (R-MN 3rd CD) has just announced (less than an hour ago) that he will not be running for re-election in 2008. When asked why he said; “Two reasons! One ..! Because Michele Bachmann keeps hitting on me and whining that her husband is gay. Two..! Because I don’t wantFruitFly 6 to be representing the minority party in Congress for the next twenty years!”

Update: Minnesota’s GOP Chair, Ron Carey, has announced that auditions for Congressman Ramstad’s Republican replacement will be held at a Mens Room at the Minneapolis/St Paul Airport…which is now a tourist trap.

Prostitution and the GOP 2008 Convention

Old FruitfliesIt’s no secret that the Republican party has been embroiled in a series of scandals involving prostitution in the past few years. With the upcoming GOP 2008 Convention in St Paul/Minneapolis, there’s been a shortage of available prostitutes. Minnesota GOP chair, Ron Carey, has publicly announce they will begin recruiting whores and prostitutes through venues such as Craigs List.

Said Mr. Carey, about the recruiting: “John Harrington, asManwhore you know, has done and excellent job at cleaning up the streets of St Paul! Look around the Xcel Energy Center and up along 7th Street and you can’t find a whore anywhere! With the GOP’s insatiable desire for an occasional “piece of tail” outside of their own marriage, we’re having to go to a more unorthodox style of recruiting whores and prostitutes.”

Bob Allen R-Florida (Prostitute/Racist)While we might think recruiting “whores and prostitutes” relates to the importation of females. However, this GOP 2008 Convention will be demanding the services of male prostitutes as well. Bob Allen, (R-FL) who was the co-chair of John McCain Presidential campaign in FL has stated he he looking forward to sight-seeing St Paul’s public parks and interacting with St Paul’s African-American male population.

HookersSaid Allen: “Someone said I should go check out ‘Rice Park‘. Is this a nice place? Is it a great place to hang out? How are the restrooms? Are the rest rooms clean? Should I bring a towel or are there paper towel dispensers that are checked regularly? Are there a lot of scary looking black guys that hang out at that park?! I don’t want to be a statistic or anything, but if are any scary looking black guys who’d be interested in a $20-bill…Oooo…..I just can’t wait to get to St Paul. I’ve been asked to be a delegate this year you know!! The GOP has been so great!”

Coy Privette, another GOP delegate out of North CarolinaCoy Privette who will be present for the GOP 2008 Convention, has stated that he prefers the GOP “Luscious Ladies” instead of the GOP “Studs” which will be provided. Said Coy in an interview at his home in Kannapolis, NC: “I ain’t never had any Yankee ‘poontang’ b’fore! But I sure ain’t gonna turn it down if they let me have my pick!! Now I got one question before I accept this generous offer by the GOP: Can I write a check for her services?!”

GOP Chairman Ron Carey has since announced that personal checks will not be honored. All GOP-recruited prostitutes have been instructed that cash-only paid in full is the rule and untraceable small-bills are preferred.

Glenn Murphy?!?Glenn Murphy, former National Chair of the Young Republican National Federation, has been told he will not be allowed to be a delegate at the GOP 2008 Convention. But he has been asked to help withYRNF the decorations inside of the Xcel Energy Center. Murphy, who was caught performing oral sex on a 22-year old Young Republican National Federation candidate while he was sleeping, was ecstatic for the opportunity.

Murphy said smugly and shyly: “I’ve been asked to blow up the balloons.”

David Vitter is a homosexual?David Vitter, Louisiana’s favorite GOP Senator, has stated publicly stating that he will not be enlisting the services of any Yankee whore. Instead, Senator Vitter has insisted on bringing his own “Cajun Tail”. FEMA has dispatched a fleet of school buses to collect the entire stable of New Orleans whores and ship them up to the Twin Cities.

One FEMA official was upset because she was given five casesOld Bay Seasoning of Old Bay seasoning and asked to hand out one can to each hooker as she climbed onto the buss.

“I axed him; “Whaddya want me to do with the Ol’Bay?!” said the FEMA official. “I told him that Old Bay was good for crabs! … and shrimps! And da man said while he was winking at me — he says; ‘You know…’suck the heads…pinch the tails’!”

The GOP’s “Moral Majority” 2008 Campaign wouldn’t be complete without their trusty “Choir Boys”. Chairman Carey grins when he uses the term, but he’s really referring to the heavy-handed religious branch of the Grand Old Party. “We haven’t forgotten the ‘choir boys” and Carey chuckles all over Pros Wantedagain. “Ted Haggard has been panhandling his former flock in Colorado Springs hoping to raise enough money to attend the GOP 2008 Convention. Pastor Ted told me he’ll show up packing enough meth to blow up Canada.”

Said Carey: “Pastor Ted is a very tough customer too. He’s like a rabbit. He bounces from one seedy motel to another. I don’t know how we’re going tohaggard and bush be able to provide enough 49-year old male prostiutes to satisfy Pastor Ted! He gets that meth up his nose and he’s like a machine!!”

Tommy Tester, a Baptist minister will be coming to the Twin Cities too. Driving his pick-up truck from Bristol, VA, Pastor Tester plans on bringing his own case of vodka andTommy Tester his own bottle of oxycodone along the way. Out of respect for his love of singing gospel music on his radio show on WZAP, Ron Carey has asked Pastor Tester to sing the National Anthem in the opening ceremonies.

“We’ve reminded Pastor Tester” Carey said, “that he is not allowed to solicit sexual favors to the St Paul Police Department. We’ve told him that while the Bristol Police Department might decide to ignore such infidelities, we’ve checked with Chief Hamilton and Pastor Tester is strictly forbidden to propose oral sex on the male police officer corps.”Swaggart

Ron Carey added: “We will let Pastor Tester wear his skirt however. He was pretty upset by Chief Hamilton’s rule so we told him he could wear his skirt on stage while singing the National Anthem.”

Jeff Gannon4The GOP has also announced that has requested that Jeff Gannon to be present at the GOP 2008 Convention. Jeff Gannon, made famous by bloggers at Americablog and The Daily Kos, was found for staying for up to four days in the White House with no record of leaving. Mr. Gannon was famous for dressing up in a US Marine Corps uniform and escorting his client and providing “companionship”.

Ron Carey half-heartedly expected that phone call at anytime. The White House has enjoyed a close and personal relationship with Mr. Gannon ever since he started his USMC website paid for by his own business Bedrock Corp. Gannon, frequently posing nude on porn sites such as “Meetlocalmen.com” and “workingboys.net” using the moniker “Bulldog”. Gannon’s solicitous tag line on his prostitution websites was:Jeff Gannon2

Big SPORTS Fan: Will go to the game with you, then take you home and….

“AGGRESIVE, VERBAL, DOMINANT TOP”
I DON’T LEAVE MARKS….ONLY IMPRESSIONS

While the White House will argue whether Jeff Gannon is theJeff Gannon 3 “domintant top” as he claims, they are none too excited to get Gannon “top-billing” and tell the GOP how great it’s been to “serve at the pleasure of the President”.

Senator Lautenburg had sent a letter requesting Jeff Gannon’s press pass credentials two and a half years ago where his credentials were summarily revoked. Whereas the upcoming GOP 2008 Convention, Gannon will have his press-pass creditials returned and be allowed to continue his “Talon News” agency all over again.

Ron Carey explained: “It’s not a big mystery that Jeff Gannon is President Bush’s favorite whore. I mean, they wouldn’t come out and directly admit it – why should they? ButJeff Gannon Gannon had a temporary White House press pass, and remember that President Bush called on him by name. With an obscure temporary press pass in the White House Press Room, do you think the President would even know who he was if there wasn’t some kind of hanky-panky going on? Yeah..Gannon is definetely Bush’s whore. Nobody else gets to play with Gannon except for the President.”

Ron Carey was also quick to point out that they’re not really too sure how to handle all of these Republicans sexual appetites for the upcoming GOP convention. “We’re talking about an awful lot of clients with tons of tax-free money!” he said.

prostituteWe’ve begun a recruiting campaign by soliciting the use of outlets such as Craigs List, and Family Watch Dog.com.

When asked why they would use a sexual predator website to look for prostitutes, Ron Carey replied: “Because we need every hooker, prostitute and whore, male or female to be ready at a moment’s notice. This isn’t some gumshoe low-key event here, you know! We will be needing a lot of freaky and disease free prostitutes! Did I mention that all of this money is tax-free? Remember; the GOP is sensitive to the small business woman and business man. We know how hard it is to build a business and since prostitution is the oldest profession – we want to recognize them too. We’ll take any kind of sexual pervert regardless of race, sex or even sexual orientation. In fact, if your a gay whore — Please think of soliciting at the upcoming GOP 2008 Convention!”

We also spent a few minutes talking to the local whores to get their reaction about next years GOP 2008 Convention and we got a surprising reaction. Almost all of the prostitutes we spoke with have plans on inviting their friends.

One girl, who identified herself as “Gina” that we interviewedProstitute explained it this way: “Look. How many Republicans have you f*#$@ ? …How many people can make that claim?! Not a lot of people will ever be able to say that they’ve truly had a chance to F*$#@ a Republican…and get paid to do it?!!

That Ron Carey dude was talking to my good friend Shandra and begging her to stay in downtown and she said the same thing! You know that one Republican dude… Umm… What’s his name? Norm Coleman? His daddy picked me up on the east side of 7th over there by the Lafayette Bridge and and he wanted me to s*$% him off and all of a sudden – the cops was everywhere. So I say; “Bring your freekie-deekie on!”

So with their Bibles thumping and their peckers burning, the GOP will be sinking a great deal of money into the Twin Cities economy. The hotel industry is already limited in availability, but the seedier motel chains throughout the Twin Cities is expected to be extremely limited.

MeMinnesota State Highway Patrol have beefed up patrols around and behind the roadside rests. Minneapolis and St Paul police departments along with the surrounding suburbs have plans on beefing up security at all of the city parks. Shopping mall managers have been notified by city officials to check their public mens restrooms and repair any glory holes that might be seen in the toilet stalls.

*** UPDATE ***

Republican and chairman of St. Bernard Parish Council, Joey DiFatta has announced he will be arriving to Minneapolis/St Paul to attend the GOP festivities. He has put together aJoey DiFatta syllabus and will be conducting workshops called “Toe Tapping if Fun: How to meet that special One”.

Said DiFatta: “Everything is in there! My workshops include “Making Glory Holes”, “Talking Dirty In The Can”, I even have a course called “Toilet Toe Tapping: Beyond the Morse Code”. I’ll teach you about payment options for your anonymous sexual encounter, how to tell if they’re a cop or not, I can even teach you my secrets to cruising rest stops along the Interstates! If you can’t get someone to fool around with in the men’s room or porn shops after taking my course, you’re either stupid or dumb!”

 

Feeding Time: Rotting Minnesota GOP Fruit

The Minnesota GOP is quickly collapsing in on themselves in the face of the upcoming Republican Presidential Campaign ’08. Luckily for the DFL, the media is going to be watching these new developments as they unfold throughout the summer months. And let’s remember that (Republican) Governor Tim Pawlently has recently vetoed some budget items that were earmarked for that same campaign.

Front page, lower right hand corner of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Sunday issue bears the headline: Internal complaints roil state GOP office. mexican fruit flies

The fast breakdown is easy: Dwight Tostenson and Larissa Presho have resigned their positions with the party itself. Mr. Tostenson, the party finance director and Ms. Presho, a finance assistant made their concerns known which were ignored and so they’ve left.

Let’s tackle the simpler portion of the story first; Ms. Presho.

Individual retirement accounts for MN GOP staffers have not seen their employer’s contributions into their accounts as directed by state and federal law. That is, depending on who you’re talking to of course. Ms. Presho’s situation gets even more strange by noting that she was offered $5,000 by the MN GOP Deputy Treasurer Marina Taubenberger to marry an illegal immigrant from Columbia.

Presho also wrote that she refused an offer of $5,000 from Taubenberger to marry a Colombian living illegally in the U.S., so that he could remain in the country.

Ms. Taubenberger, who seems to be rather liberal with GOP contributions, paying herself $64,000 between March ’03 and December ’03 and sits as the committee chair for the super-wealthy North Oaks community tennis club throws money around like a drunken-Mexican Irish Catholic. And she’s found enough money to bribe sub-ordinates to marry illegal immigrants from Columbia. This, I tell you, is the model of “American family values”.

But isn’t the first time Ms. Presho has been slighted by her GOP employer. The Minnesota GOP has tried to shut her up on her views in other areas of concern: a.) She’s favors gay marriage, to which her Party tried to keep her quiet about and b.) she’s apparently told GOP officials that she’s an athiest and told to be quiet and tell no one.

I used to work for the Republican Party of MN as a tele-fundraiser. The money was good, but I quit because the political dissonance was far too painfull.

I heard from my then-girlfriend (who also worked in the phone bank) that a woman we worked with, Larissa Presho, was running for the State House, District 58B. She said that Larissa was an atheist, and party officials advised her to keep that little factoid to herself. Of course, this is second- or third-hand information.

Marina Taubenberg’s behavior is suspect in other areas as well.

The newspaper (Star Tribune) obtained a copy of Presho’s e-mailed memo. In it, she said that Taubenberger had encouraged her to mislead state revenue auditors and also encouraged her and another employee to mislead insurance auditors.

I’ll assume Lori Swanson is on top of this story and paying attention. She’s a DFL’er, you know.

Dwight Tostenson’s whining about the GOP is a little more tangled up Presho’s. Although Tostenson hasn’t been offered Five Grand to marry an illegal immigrant from some South American third-world country, he has been complaining about the direction of the MN GOP for some time.

Tostenson has had complaints against Mr. Carey going back to Dec ’05 when they booted their former director out for legal problems and replaced him with Ron Carey. Tostenson’s muttered his grievances like:

At issue is whether members of the Minnesota Autism Center’s board of directors with autistic children pressured staff psychologists to provide treatments, at state expense, that were no longer medically necessary.

The matter is politically sensitive because Hatch is a Democratic-Farmer-Labor candidate for governor, and the chairman of the autism center’s board of directors is state Republican Party Chairman Ron Carey.

(The emphasis was mine of course.)

It’s always those Republicans who are screaming about mis-uses of tax-payer money. This abuse of tax-payer money runs a story itself from Dec 2005 through April 2007 when the Autism Center’s billing practices were published on NBC affiliate KARE-11 here in Minneapolis/St Paul. One of the board members, Kathryn Marshall, who has a child who’s treated at the Autism Center, charged Minnesota tax payers for a trip to Disney World with her kid and a therapist. The case has landed on the lap of MN US Attorney Rachel Poulose’s desk where she’s decided to not say anything, nor do anything about it. In fact, the attorney who represents Ms. Marshall, the Minnesota Austism Center along with MN GOP Chairman Ron Carey said:

Doug Kelley, who represents Carey, Marshall and the center, said, “I believe my client billed appropriately under controlling law, and pursuant to the individual treatment plans that they sent to the Department of Human Services.

Kelley said he has been in talks with the U.S. attorney’s office and is hoping to reach a settlement. “There has not been a single hint of any criminal investigation,” he said.

Rachel Poulose hasn’t done anything towards investigating this case because it involves Republicans in high places within Minnesota politics. She’s the US Attorney who has been hand selected by US Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez and knee-deep in the current US Attorney investigation in Congresss. She’s running such a horrible disaster, her senior staffers have walked out on her and left her with a substitute nanny to sit on her and pay attention what’s going on in Minnesota.

Liberals love Poulose, mostly for the fact that she’s horribly inexperienced compared to her predicessor Tom Hefflefinger, and it’s loads of fun to make her look like an idiot…which she is, in my humble opinion.

The U.S. attorney’s office in Minnesota demonstrates the havoc that ensues when the Bush administration places politics over justice. Four top staffers to Rachel Paulose, the U.S. attorney in Minnesota, have voluntarily demoted themselves in protest of Paulose’s “highly dictatorial style” of managing. Paulose has also “earned a reputation for quoting Bible verses and dressing down underlings.”

Ron Carey has apparently, become fed up with Tostenson’s constant whining. Carey asked Tostenson to shut up about the matter until after the November elections, hoping no memos or rumors would leak to the public. But, after the elections, Carey let Tostenson send his complaints to the Party’s legal staff which resulted in the MN GOP cutting Tostenson’s salary by 40%. Perhaps Whistleblower Laws don’t apply in political arenas.Me

After the November election, he said, Carey gave him permission to send documents to the party attorney supporting his claims. Two weeks later Carey told Tostenson that they were cutting his pay by 40 percent, which Tostenson believed was retaliation.

Again, the emphasis is mine. You get your paycheck cut by 40%… do you think there’s retaliation involved here?!

It would appear that the stage being set for this upcoming GOP Primary Election in ’08 is going to be an absolute disaster blast. DFL, liberal and progressive bloggers in Minnesota should reap HUGE rewards in the horrors of the GOP with this campaign. Bush sized “Texas Trailer Park Trash” is showing up everywhere within United States society; care for a rotted piece of Fruit?