Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Larry Craig Wastes more Minnesota Taxpayer’s Money

Larry Craig FunniesHow much time and money does the Minnesota taxpayer have to waste on Republican Larry Craig’s “Adventures in Potty Land?” His legal team has filed yet another appeals in the Minnesota courts system hoping they’ll eventually get a Pawlenty R-Gov MN) appointed judge. Craig’s team has decided to split pubic hairs with Minnesota law:

An appeals brief filed Tuesday contends that Minnesota’s disorderly conduct law “requires that the conduct at issue have a tendency to alarm or anger ‘others'” — underscoring the plural nature of the term.

Craig’s brief goes on to cite other convictions that were overturned because the multiple-victim test wasn’t met. His lawyers apply the same logic to his case.

His attorneys have also argued that Craig’s actions only affected the police officer (who of course, is irrelevant in this case). And since the statute requires to offend others, Craig’s actions shouldn’t be considered a crime.

“Appellant’s alleged conduct in this case affected only a single individual — Sergeant Karsnia,” the Craig brief says. “It did not — and could not affect ‘others’ as the disorderly conduct statute requires, and therefore, does not satisfy that element of the statute.”

But wait! There’s more!

Sergeant Karsnia doesn’t count as a party to the crime that would be regarded as “offended”.

You might say; “You’re kidding Fruit! Why?”

…Let me tell you why!!

The brief also argues that Karsnia himself could not have been offended by the alleged conduct because “he invited it.” The alleged conduct, Craig’s lawyers added, doesn’t rise to the level of being “offensive, obscene, abusive, boisterous or noisy.”

You’d probably say: “That’s stupid! That’s an insult to our own ‘Boys in Blue!’ How dare this Idaho Pervert insult our officers here in Minnesota!!?!”

But wait! There’s more!

What about that hand-gesture underneath the stall’s separating wall? He reaches over with his left hand under the wall on his right-hand side and holds his hand out hoping to masturbate his bathroom neighbor? It turns out – that’s now considered “free speech”!!free speech

Besides attacking the law he was prosecuted under, Craig’s legal team argues that the hand signal allegedly used to communicate a desire to engage in sexual conduct would be constitutionally protected speech. They also say the plea is technically flawed because it lacked a judicial signature.

Huh!! Ain’t that sumpin’?! All these years, I’ve been told that burning the American flag was protected free speech! And to think all of those times I got arrested slutting on Bare-Assed Beach along the Mississippi River…All I had to do is tell the judge that I was exercising my Constitutionally protected free speach!

FruitFly 6All of this puzzles me why Minnesota Republicans aren’t bitching about the wasted taxpayer spending here in Minnesota. They didn’t say much when they wasted $57 million investigating Clinton either!

One day Suzanne Craig will get smart and have an AIDS test too.

Another Larry Craig video: Complete with painted toe-nails

No SenatorsMike Rogers (BlogActive) spotted this one. It’s a great satire on the Matt Lauer interview with Larry Craig and his wife Suzanne. On a scale of 1 to 10 on my “That’s Pretty Damned Funny” meter – I’d give it an 8.

(Watch it by being “Staff Only” and go on in to the Mens Room.)