Now Republicans are Name-Calling: Obama’s a “Cream-Puff”!

The GOP

The GOP

It’s bad enough, listening to their conspiracies (Obama’s not an American) and their rhetoric on why Obama’s isn’t “Republican” enough for them.  But to listen to them resort to name-calling only ensures that fewer voters are going to check off the “Red Names” on next year’s ballot-box.  Who needs them?!

Does anybody remember when Tom DeLay was getting kicked out for being too nasty in his relationship with the likes of Jack Abramoff and sweatshops in Saipan?   Tom DeLay loved the idea of exploiting endentured servants and he called the sweatshops “a free market success“!!  You see, that’s when Republicans were in control and you didn’t hear them whining about anything — unless it was related to gays, the middle class, equal pay for women or repealing the tax-cuts for the ultra-rich!

Now, they’re name calling Obama…again.  Michele Bachmann, Minnesota’s greatest embarrassment, giggled in delight when stupid things came tumbling out of her mouth and called him “The Community Organizer in Chief“.  But that wasn’t good enough – because now Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) calls the president a “cream-puff”!

Would it be disrespectfu if someone called Dana Rohrabacher a douche bag?  I wonder how many of those Somali pirates would agree with Congressman Rohrabacher?

Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

David Huckabee: Is he gay or just a sleazy “businessman”?

Dear God… It’s a Sleazy Family Christmas for the Huckleberry Hound family. The more we look at these Arkansas hillbillies, the more tawdry and pathetic they appear. That’s “Super Chunk” David in the middle. That’s his sister on his left and his other brother “Mega Chunk” John Mark (who’s middle name is “Matthew Luke”). Dave here seems to be nothing more than a giant sized asshole who’s never seen an empty can of Slim Fast.

Huxmas

Yeah I can tell. You’re thinking exactly what I’m thinking: “The verticle stripes are so slimming!!” Or were you noticing the deer-hunting outfits the girls are wearing?!

My husband life-partner said when he saw the picture: “Dear God, we need the ASPCA to rescue that dog!”Candyland

Cheezus… Those boys never played a friendly game of Candyland when they were little….They ate it!

In April 2007, David walks into the Little Rock airport packing a loaded Glock (and forty-two dozen Hostess Ho-Ho’s) stuffed in his carry-on baggage. Once the X-Ray machine alerted the TSA:

“I removed the bag and asked Mr. Huckabee if he knew what he had in the bag,” Little Rock police officer Arthur Nugent wrote in a report after being summoned to a security checkpoint. “He replied he did now.”

Yeah… He knew and he didn’t give a fuck. Like the Bush Twins, he’s another Republican spoiled brat who couldn’t give a shit about anybody but himself. They always say that the PK’s are the worse too. But when you’re the PK and your daddy’s a prominent Republican, it gives you the right to just walk on into an airport, stroll on through the security detail with a loaded Glock and nobody will ever call you a terrorist. And when he’s asked if he knew he had it – he just shrugs and says; “Yeah…so what? Big deal. What’s you’re problem with that?”

Baby HueyIn December 2001, Baby Huey here was slapped for running a business in Jonesboro (Arkansas State University) without a license. Ordered to march his ass over to the city collector’s office and paid the $62.50 fine. So he goes and pays the fee with a bag full of 6,250 pennies.

When asked if he wanted to comment to The Herald, a visibly dissatisfied Huckabee said, “I don’t think so.”

While Huckabee would not discuss the payment with the press, he did tell city employees of his disgust with the media treatment of the situation.

Huckabee also voiced concern over the attention he was receiving.

“Obviously, there is nothing better to cover on campus than me licensing my company,” Huckabee said. “You’d think they would realize no one even reads that paper, or even takes them seriously yet here they are.”

Well Asshole, it would appear that everybody is reading that newspaper these days!

musketeers Did you notice the reporter explain this arrogant prick’s mouth?

While Huckabee would not discuss the payment with the press, he did tell city employees of his disgust with the media treatment of the situation.

He stomps his lard-ass up the steps of city hall carrying a bag of 6,250 pennies. Sweating profusely from the exertion of the seven steps from the curb, he huffs and puffs down the hallway…an exhausting thirteen feet. Red faced and severely deprived of desperately needed oxygen, he slams the bag on the counter and pulls out a Mars bar. While he’s pulling out the endless supply of saturated fats, he impatiently glares at the clerk who has to count each and every damned penny. Grover Welch, the author of this article, asked him if he had any comment and Huckabee didn’t. Instead, he belches six times, whips out a giant-sized bag of M&M’s and bitches at the city employees about his disappointment with the media’s attention.

What a disgusting and pathetic little boy…

…All because he tried to avoid paying a licensing fee to the city.

He paid the fine because a month earlier, the Arkansas State University Herald ran a story on Baby Huey, saying he was running illegals businesses on campus selling bullshit to the students. Crap like ball-point pens and promotional concessional trash to the Student Activities Board. At the time, he “owned” two businesses; “H & K Enterprises” and “Pyro-Erectus”.

Pyro-Erectus?! Flaming hard-on? Hot cock? Dick that shoots flames?! Who names a business “pyro-erectus”? If that isn’t “gay”, or at least “wanna-be” gay… I don’t know what is!!

David Huckabee is a doucheBut Super Chunk thinks he can avoid paying the $62 licensing fee by bullshitting his way out of it.

H & K Enterprises and Pyro-Erectus are not businesses, but partnerships, said Huckabee, a senior speech communications and political science major of Little Rock.

According to Ken Saddler spokesman for the City Clerk’s Office, neither H & K Enterprises nor Pyro-Erectus are licensed as businesses to operate within Jonesboro. According to Saddler, this is illegal no matter the amount of money being made by a business.

marsYou see…It’s all all okay now. Partnerships are free and clear to do whatever he feels like or eats. He goes on, let’s see if you can see the “spoiled-rotten part” in this arrogant Republican asshole.

“They are not technically businesses, per se. I am a person who has a partner and we have a joint checking account, is basically what it is,” Huckabee said. “I understand what they [the city clerk’s office] think because it is portrayed to them that this is a business operation. But it’s not a business. It’s me operating with a partner ­ who have a joint checking account with a different name on it.

“That’s why my business doesn’t file taxes. We each file our own individual taxes because the partnership is just basically a checking account. The business is a joint checking account.”

What’s with all the bullshit about his “partner”? Is he trying to come out of the closet or what?!

Huckabee compared his companies to a kid who mows lawns for his neighbors.

He’s not going to go register his business with the city clerk’s office, because he cuts his next-door- neighbors-on-either-side’s grass. Even though that is a legitimate business,” he said. “It’s completely legitimate that I provide a service.

I don’t have a business; I provide services that I can do. I called my tax attorneys. He said, basically, you don’t have a business, you have a partnership.”

TwixYeah… He has a “tax attorney” like my little brother has H&R Block.  You can plug your nose and repeat that last paragraph out loud and you probably would sound like the arrogant asshole too. And what’s with the over-extended explanation of his “partner”. He goes on and on, bloviating about his “partnerships” all in the effort to avoid having to pay a licensing fee.

Who’s the partner?! We can offer him a Tic-tac for that soured cream-filling smell on his breath, but pray tell who is that “partner” of his?

And he pulls the “poor pity me” thing too. This is a favorite for both Republicans and “conservative Christians”: “They’re always hating me because I’m a Republican!” Or it’s like Scarborough said about Tom DeLay: He’s persecuted because he’s a Christian.

…No, it’s because they’re total jerks.

Fluff This is Super Chunk’s excuse:

“Trust me, when you have a last name that people like to attack on a regular basis, you make sure that what you do is legal. So, yes, my business, or the things or the services that I provide, are legal to operate,” Huckabee said.

Aww yeah… He’s such a celebrity there in Jonesboro. He’s got that Britney Gucci look, and the chicks all want to run their hands up and down the flabby folds of his body and get their groove on with him. When Baby Huey thunders on past, all the girls stop and stare with an animal-like lust in their eye… But it’s bittersweet, you know?! When you’re that damned popular…you just have to learn to be harassed.

He’s busted for running unlicensed businesses and all he had to do is pay $62.50. Instead, he shows up a month later with a fucking bag full of pennies and stands there bitching at the clerk because the media ran the story. What a pathetic fuck.

Jesus loves you but everybody else thinks you’re an asshole!

FruitFly(This blog entry was brought to you “Douche” perfume. Scroll up and click on the Douche’s picture to learn how you too can smell like total Douche. It even comes with its own Douche bag!!)

 

 

 

Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville”

Rita SkeeterA few years ago, Minneapolis Star-Tribune hired a “conservative” voice for the paper – what they ended up with was a dolt. Katherine Kersten’s writings are poorly researched, her facts are dubious at best and her conservative values forces her into the Land of Hypocrisies. I remember one of her earliest columns where she finger-wagged her critics that picking on her because of her religion was strictly off-base. Yet, since the Imams story broke last year, Kersten routinely ridicules and/or marginalizes the Muslim faith. If there’s an update on the lawsuit the Imams have filed, Kersten’s on top of it. Did I already complain about her lack of factual information? Oh good, I did.

Because today’s column is no different. In her piece: “PlentyBlack Garbage Fly of surprises in Ghost Town of political moderates“, she writes…an allegory(?) about moderate Republicans who are leaving Congress and it reminds her of a “ghost town”. It’s a really stupid column that’s factually flawed but packed with complaints about liberal blogs like DailyKos, liberal groups like Move-On and the DLC. She notes that Minnesota’s 3rd CD Jim Ramstad’s departure reminds her of a ghost town and finishes with this paragraph:

Today, there’s a regular stampede of moderates running for office. But they are more likely to wear a red Republican R brand than a blue D

Huh?! What does this have to do with a ghost town? And the facts are once again; completely wrong.

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #1: There is a stampede going on — And the stamped is Republicans switching to become Democrats. Most recently in Texas, Represenative Kirk England of Grand Prairie announced his leaving the Republican Party and will caucus for Democrats from now on. England said with his middle finger in the air:

“After one session in the House, I found that the Republican leadership in Austin had no tolerance for the values and priorities of the folks I represent.

Note to Katherine Kersten: This is a quote from a Texan!

Last October, The Washington Post wrote a story that nine Republicans in Kansas have switched to the Democrat Party. In the piece entitled “Moderates in Kansas Decide They’re Not in GOP Anymore“, it noted that Mark Parkinson, the former Chair of the Kansas GOP has walked out of the party and ran for Lieutenant Governor with Kathleen Sebelius as a Democrat. And guess what – he won. The former GOP chairman of Kansas runs as a Democrat for Lt Governor and wins?!?!? He won?!?

We can’t even paint Kansas a deep-purple Red anymore…It’s Bluer than my Ben Franklin Purple-heart pin!!!

Last August 3, 2006, a rumor started that State Senatormosquito Nancy Riley of Oklahoma was trading her big red “R” brand for a shiny blue “D” brand because she was sick of the way the GOP had been treating her. By the end of the day, she switched and said this:

Riley says she was completely ignored by the Republican caucus during this year’s legislative session. She believes her treatment is because of her moderate views and because she’s a woman.

Note to Katherine Kersten:

Watch out Honey!! With the number of moderate Republicans stampeding to wear a big Blue “D” brand, you’re likely to get run over!!

Update #3: The term “RINO”, or “Republican In Name Only” shows up on ABC’s “Brothers and Sisters” program in Episode #25. The Walker family is heading to San Diego to reclaim a family-member and Kitty Walker (Republican-Calista Flockhart insists on tuning in the family car auto to a Konservative Radio Talk-Jock who makes animal noises when describing Ms. Walker’s fiance’. When asked about the noises, Kitty says; “It’s a rhinoceros” and her gay brother says: “I get it…RINO…”Republican In Name Only”.)

Updated #2: In Fairfax, VA, State Senator Jeannemarie Devolites Davis (R) is now running around calling herself a “RINO“: Republican In Name Only. In a district that’s regarded the most affluent in the state, Republicans watch it turning Blue and their state senator knows she can’t win on a Republican ticket.

Voters backed Democrats in the past two gubernatorial elections and went for U.S. Sen. Jim Webb last November.

JIm Hovland

Update #1: Ohhhhh…SNAP!! Big E from MnBlue just slapped me with a Comment. Apparently, Edina, MN mayor Jim Hovland is another “moderate Republican” who just might run for Ramstad’s Congressional seat… As a Democrat! How could I have missed that one?!?! I…Why I must have had a “Kersten-Sized brain-fart and forgot to do my research!”

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #2: Kersten said:

Rep. Jim Ramstad of the Third Congressional District, who recently announced his retirement, is the latest to star in this tragic/heroic role.

Wrong. If Kersten bothered fact-checking herself, she would have discovered that the Star-Tribune reported Ramstad’s departure was on the 17th of September. One Friday Setember 21st, Jerry Weller (R-IL) of th 11th Congressional District announced he will not be seeking a re-election, making Congress Weller the latest star that is “stampeding” out of Congress. To make the fact even more painful, Weller’s stepping down is in a large part because of the amount of investigations and allegations against him.

mosquito…In fact: A watchdog group has declared Weller one of the most corrupt members of Congress, there’s a subpoena in a former colleague’s bribery trial and criticism from not revealing to Congress the extent of Nicaraguan land purchases.

Other Republicans “stampeding” out of Congress so far includes Conservative Republican John Warner of Virginia and Moderate Republican Chuck Hagel of Nebraska.

Now what about this allegory of a “Ghost Town” of moderate Republicans? What would Katherine Kersten’s thriving little “Republicanville” town look like?

houseflyRep. Ken Calvert (R-CA) ,Rep. John T. Doolittle (R-CA), Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), Rep. Doc Hastings (R-WA), Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA), Rep. Gary G. Miller (R-CA), Rep. Timothy F. Murphy (R-PA), Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM), Rep. Rick Renzi (R-AZ), Rep Harold Rogers (R-KY), Rep Don Young (R-AK), Rep Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-CA), Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) and Rep. Heather A. Wilson (R-NM) would be headed to jail and/or under investigation by the local town sheriff. This includes both of Alaska’s Republican US Senators Ted Stevens and Lisa Murkowski, Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Kentucky’s Republican Senator Mitch McConnell.

Oklahoma Co Sheriff Republicanville would be jam-packed with Preachers who love the town whores. Preachers like Ted Haggard, Lonnie Latham and Coy Privette all enjoying adultery while finger-wagging the townsfolk all about the sins listed in the Bible. The only town’s preacher who isn’t sleeping with a prostitute is the town drunk who’s wearing a skirt and urinating against the local theater. And the sheriff arrested him once and the preacher offered fellatio on the sheriff and his deputy.

In fact, prostitution would seem to be the only industry inhousefly Kersten’s Republicanville that thrives!

Shoot! You can even get a discount from one of the Local Madam’s whores just by mentioning David Vitter’s (R-LA) name! In Republicanville, even the lone outhouse is haunted by State Represenative Bob Allen (R-FL) offering the men needing to use the toilet a shiny $20 gold-coin if they’ll give him the privilege to perform fellatio on them while Larry Craig (R-ID) is offering fellatio on the inside for free!

FoleyKersten’s perfect bustling town would have one radio station who’s only talk-show host is an over-weight drug addict who flies to tropical paradise islands where boy-prostitution is legal with an erectile dysfunction prescription filled out to somebody else. And while we’re talking about molesting little boys, let’s make sure we don’t forget Repupublicanville’s favored son Mark Foley (R-FL) who can molest your son faster than Kersten can write more bullshit in her next column.

Shucks Katherine, I completely forgot! Former United States Speaker of the House “Fat” Denny Hastert (R-IL) has decided to leave Congress faster than he could drum up an Exit Sign after deciding Mark Foley did no-wrong.

mosquitoBy the way: If your kid isn’t getting molested in Republicanville, he’s probably being raped in his sleep by the chair of the National Young Republicans Federation. If you have a daughter, she would be getting raped by the local National Young Republicans and then run around telling everybody that she deserved it.

Bush plays guitar

One time, the town had a flood that could have been easily prevented, but Republicanville’s Mayor ignored the town and decided instead hang on in a sing-along with a no-name musician named Mark Willis. When a bridge fell down in the town, 13 people died and Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville” thought the mayor fingers crossedwould come through for them. He didn’t of course and he won’t! He has the diction of a third grader, but they’re still crossing their fingers he’s gonna come through on that bridge re-building thing!!

housefly

Katherine Kersten has no wiggle room in criticizing anybody for anything in relation to politics or religion. Kersten’s conservative Christian views are flawed and those who share in her conservative Christian views are morally, ethically, politically and spiritually bankrupt. Kersten throws her Star-Tribune weight around to belittle and demean anything outside of the scope of her narrow dime-sized world. She’ll criticize gays, Muslims, academia, Democrats – anything that isn’t holding a Bible and carrying a crucifix and wearing a big “red Republican R brand on their chest.”

In exchange, the backdrop to Kersten’s stage is covered in a vile filth unlikeFruitFly 6 anything in American history. And yet, she continues to draw a paycheck! The Star Tribune finds her “valuable”, and I have a sneaky suspicion they’re keep this very stupid columnist on the payroll because so many of us love to hate her.