Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Elephant Slide

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.FruitFly

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville”

Rita SkeeterA few years ago, Minneapolis Star-Tribune hired a “conservative” voice for the paper – what they ended up with was a dolt. Katherine Kersten’s writings are poorly researched, her facts are dubious at best and her conservative values forces her into the Land of Hypocrisies. I remember one of her earliest columns where she finger-wagged her critics that picking on her because of her religion was strictly off-base. Yet, since the Imams story broke last year, Kersten routinely ridicules and/or marginalizes the Muslim faith. If there’s an update on the lawsuit the Imams have filed, Kersten’s on top of it. Did I already complain about her lack of factual information? Oh good, I did.

Because today’s column is no different. In her piece: “PlentyBlack Garbage Fly of surprises in Ghost Town of political moderates“, she writes…an allegory(?) about moderate Republicans who are leaving Congress and it reminds her of a “ghost town”. It’s a really stupid column that’s factually flawed but packed with complaints about liberal blogs like DailyKos, liberal groups like Move-On and the DLC. She notes that Minnesota’s 3rd CD Jim Ramstad’s departure reminds her of a ghost town and finishes with this paragraph:

Today, there’s a regular stampede of moderates running for office. But they are more likely to wear a red Republican R brand than a blue D

Huh?! What does this have to do with a ghost town? And the facts are once again; completely wrong.

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #1: There is a stampede going on — And the stamped is Republicans switching to become Democrats. Most recently in Texas, Represenative Kirk England of Grand Prairie announced his leaving the Republican Party and will caucus for Democrats from now on. England said with his middle finger in the air:

“After one session in the House, I found that the Republican leadership in Austin had no tolerance for the values and priorities of the folks I represent.

Note to Katherine Kersten: This is a quote from a Texan!

Last October, The Washington Post wrote a story that nine Republicans in Kansas have switched to the Democrat Party. In the piece entitled “Moderates in Kansas Decide They’re Not in GOP Anymore“, it noted that Mark Parkinson, the former Chair of the Kansas GOP has walked out of the party and ran for Lieutenant Governor with Kathleen Sebelius as a Democrat. And guess what – he won. The former GOP chairman of Kansas runs as a Democrat for Lt Governor and wins?!?!? He won?!?

We can’t even paint Kansas a deep-purple Red anymore…It’s Bluer than my Ben Franklin Purple-heart pin!!!

Last August 3, 2006, a rumor started that State Senatormosquito Nancy Riley of Oklahoma was trading her big red “R” brand for a shiny blue “D” brand because she was sick of the way the GOP had been treating her. By the end of the day, she switched and said this:

Riley says she was completely ignored by the Republican caucus during this year’s legislative session. She believes her treatment is because of her moderate views and because she’s a woman.

Note to Katherine Kersten:

Watch out Honey!! With the number of moderate Republicans stampeding to wear a big Blue “D” brand, you’re likely to get run over!!

Update #3: The term “RINO”, or “Republican In Name Only” shows up on ABC’s “Brothers and Sisters” program in Episode #25. The Walker family is heading to San Diego to reclaim a family-member and Kitty Walker (Republican-Calista Flockhart insists on tuning in the family car auto to a Konservative Radio Talk-Jock who makes animal noises when describing Ms. Walker’s fiance’. When asked about the noises, Kitty says; “It’s a rhinoceros” and her gay brother says: “I get it…RINO…”Republican In Name Only”.)

Updated #2: In Fairfax, VA, State Senator Jeannemarie Devolites Davis (R) is now running around calling herself a “RINO“: Republican In Name Only. In a district that’s regarded the most affluent in the state, Republicans watch it turning Blue and their state senator knows she can’t win on a Republican ticket.

Voters backed Democrats in the past two gubernatorial elections and went for U.S. Sen. Jim Webb last November.

JIm Hovland

Update #1: Ohhhhh…SNAP!! Big E from MnBlue just slapped me with a Comment. Apparently, Edina, MN mayor Jim Hovland is another “moderate Republican” who just might run for Ramstad’s Congressional seat… As a Democrat! How could I have missed that one?!?! I…Why I must have had a “Kersten-Sized brain-fart and forgot to do my research!”

Deer FlyIncorrect Fact #2: Kersten said:

Rep. Jim Ramstad of the Third Congressional District, who recently announced his retirement, is the latest to star in this tragic/heroic role.

Wrong. If Kersten bothered fact-checking herself, she would have discovered that the Star-Tribune reported Ramstad’s departure was on the 17th of September. One Friday Setember 21st, Jerry Weller (R-IL) of th 11th Congressional District announced he will not be seeking a re-election, making Congress Weller the latest star that is “stampeding” out of Congress. To make the fact even more painful, Weller’s stepping down is in a large part because of the amount of investigations and allegations against him.

mosquito…In fact: A watchdog group has declared Weller one of the most corrupt members of Congress, there’s a subpoena in a former colleague’s bribery trial and criticism from not revealing to Congress the extent of Nicaraguan land purchases.

Other Republicans “stampeding” out of Congress so far includes Conservative Republican John Warner of Virginia and Moderate Republican Chuck Hagel of Nebraska.

Now what about this allegory of a “Ghost Town” of moderate Republicans? What would Katherine Kersten’s thriving little “Republicanville” town look like?

houseflyRep. Ken Calvert (R-CA) ,Rep. John T. Doolittle (R-CA), Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL), Rep. Doc Hastings (R-WA), Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), Rep. Jerry Lewis (R-CA), Rep. Gary G. Miller (R-CA), Rep. Timothy F. Murphy (R-PA), Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM), Rep. Rick Renzi (R-AZ), Rep Harold Rogers (R-KY), Rep Don Young (R-AK), Rep Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-CA), Rep Tom Delay (R-TX) and Rep. Heather A. Wilson (R-NM) would be headed to jail and/or under investigation by the local town sheriff. This includes both of Alaska’s Republican US Senators Ted Stevens and Lisa Murkowski, Pete Domenici (R-NM) and Kentucky’s Republican Senator Mitch McConnell.

Oklahoma Co Sheriff Republicanville would be jam-packed with Preachers who love the town whores. Preachers like Ted Haggard, Lonnie Latham and Coy Privette all enjoying adultery while finger-wagging the townsfolk all about the sins listed in the Bible. The only town’s preacher who isn’t sleeping with a prostitute is the town drunk who’s wearing a skirt and urinating against the local theater. And the sheriff arrested him once and the preacher offered fellatio on the sheriff and his deputy.

In fact, prostitution would seem to be the only industry inhousefly Kersten’s Republicanville that thrives!

Shoot! You can even get a discount from one of the Local Madam’s whores just by mentioning David Vitter’s (R-LA) name! In Republicanville, even the lone outhouse is haunted by State Represenative Bob Allen (R-FL) offering the men needing to use the toilet a shiny $20 gold-coin if they’ll give him the privilege to perform fellatio on them while Larry Craig (R-ID) is offering fellatio on the inside for free!

FoleyKersten’s perfect bustling town would have one radio station who’s only talk-show host is an over-weight drug addict who flies to tropical paradise islands where boy-prostitution is legal with an erectile dysfunction prescription filled out to somebody else. And while we’re talking about molesting little boys, let’s make sure we don’t forget Repupublicanville’s favored son Mark Foley (R-FL) who can molest your son faster than Kersten can write more bullshit in her next column.

Shucks Katherine, I completely forgot! Former United States Speaker of the House “Fat” Denny Hastert (R-IL) has decided to leave Congress faster than he could drum up an Exit Sign after deciding Mark Foley did no-wrong.

mosquitoBy the way: If your kid isn’t getting molested in Republicanville, he’s probably being raped in his sleep by the chair of the National Young Republicans Federation. If you have a daughter, she would be getting raped by the local National Young Republicans and then run around telling everybody that she deserved it.

Bush plays guitar

One time, the town had a flood that could have been easily prevented, but Republicanville’s Mayor ignored the town and decided instead hang on in a sing-along with a no-name musician named Mark Willis. When a bridge fell down in the town, 13 people died and Katherine Kersten’s “Republicanville” thought the mayor fingers crossedwould come through for them. He didn’t of course and he won’t! He has the diction of a third grader, but they’re still crossing their fingers he’s gonna come through on that bridge re-building thing!!

housefly

Katherine Kersten has no wiggle room in criticizing anybody for anything in relation to politics or religion. Kersten’s conservative Christian views are flawed and those who share in her conservative Christian views are morally, ethically, politically and spiritually bankrupt. Kersten throws her Star-Tribune weight around to belittle and demean anything outside of the scope of her narrow dime-sized world. She’ll criticize gays, Muslims, academia, Democrats – anything that isn’t holding a Bible and carrying a crucifix and wearing a big “red Republican R brand on their chest.”

In exchange, the backdrop to Kersten’s stage is covered in a vile filth unlikeFruitFly 6 anything in American history. And yet, she continues to draw a paycheck! The Star Tribune finds her “valuable”, and I have a sneaky suspicion they’re keep this very stupid columnist on the payroll because so many of us love to hate her.

Found in Michele Bachmann’s Diary

Dear Diary

August 23, 2007

Yesterday was the most thrilling day of my life. I had such a wonderful time, I don’t know where to even begin.

While Congress was in recess, the Interstate 35W bridge collapsed and killed thirteen non-believers. But that wasn’t the best part. All of us from the Minnesota delegation got word that God’s Blessedly Appointed President of the United States was flying in on His Angel’s Wings to view the wreckage.

It so amazing to comprehend the reality that President Bush actually cares about these dead unbelievers! But was even more fantastic was when I realized he might be coming to Minnesota just to see me!kissies

I mean, President Bush is so… Oh I don’t know how to describe him…. He’s so handsome! The last time I had been with him here in Minnesota, we let Karl Rove tag along while the two of us got intimate over custard ice-cream at Glaciers Custard and Coffee Café in Wayzata. Now that I think of it, it was almost exactly a year ago! That means, if I would have let George have his way with me back then, God would have blessed us with a child that would be three months old! I wish we could have gotten rid of Rove.

So while we’re at the wreckage of the I-35W bridge, Laura Bush kept giving me dirty looks. Scowling at me and I think she mouthed the word “b-i-t-c-h” once while she was hiding behind the Presidential limousine trying to light a cigarette. She’s such a doll! What a sweetie. But if that nasty little cupcake can’t make God’s Anointed sexually happy, it would be a blessing for me to step in her place.

kissiesThere he was, standing on the 10th Avenue bridge looking at the wreckage next to the Governor and I couldn’t help myself by checking him out. There was this little breeze and the rear flap of the President’s suit coat flipped up and I have to say; the President has the best looking rump I’ve seen on any man in my life. It looks firm, and so round…and manly! He has those wide manly shoulders and those thick fingers. Marcus has that ugly flat-iron type of rump and his fingers are smooth, like a womans. And Marcus’ lips are full and icky while George’s lips are thin…and manly.

Everybody stood around and chatted. Laura returned smelling like a pack of Pall-Malls and she glared at me again, I think. Senator Amy Klobuchar was shaking her head chatting with some non-believers and Senator Norm Coleman kept looking staring at some woman’s breasts, I think it was his wife.

All of a sudden, George spotted me and that’s when I leaked akissies little pee in my panties. He pushed Governor Pawlenty out of the way (who almost fell over the railing) and came running after me! He grabbed me in those tree-trunks he calls arms and dipped me really low and kissed me long and deeply. His tongue, wrapped around my tongue, his hands holding me ever so strong. I could feel his bulge pulsing against my thigh. Every muscle in my body simply released, I think I might have even let out one of those silent farts. My entire body simply went limp; I was his and his forever.

I mean, I was being kissed by someone God Almighty had selected to be the President of the Free World! The fire of God when through me! I mean, this is what God meant for me when he called me to go Washington: To be put together with George just then, high above the mighty Mississippi, kissing me, loving my body. I was once again, that Fool for Christ.

He lifted me up and we stood there nose-to-nose and for one second, we were of one mind, of one intimate though. I was at the brink of loosing it. He smiled at me with those tiny little yellow teeth and I knew then that he really missed me.

kissiesHe was about to hug me and kiss me again when Laura broke my gaze. She was glaring at me like a hot Texas fire-brand. George pulled me in for another hug and kiss but I put both hands firmly on his chest and pushed back. He looked shocked, and hurt.

He said: “What? You don’t want to embrace?”

But I realized that if Laura could find the keys, she’d run me over with any of the parked cars in the area. Quickly, I said;

The people of Minnesota love you Mr. President, but I think one kiss was enough.”

He suddenly realized we were surrounded by lots and lots of people! He grinned wisely and his hand slid down by back and stopped on my own cute little bottom and I grinned back at him. He smirked as if he understood the same thought, that we could be giving off signals that would make tongues wag. And I think he also understood that one day soon (I hope), the two of us would share the same bed and we would make a passionate love that would make angels cry.

The President’s detail interrupted us and he waskissies whisked away. I was singing Jesus’ praises in my heart, and I went back to our limousine. I found Marcus in the front seat next to our driver re-applying his strawberry flavored Chap-stick using the rear-view mirror. I got into the back and Marcus joined me and we took off and that’s when Marcus and I go into a little bit of a fight.

I was so flushed with love, I had to tell him that President Bush gave me a little kiss. (I didn’t dare tell my husband the lust I have for the President!!) We were in the back of the limousine and and I’m starting to tell him about meeting President Bush. And when I got to the part where the President kissed me, Marcus interrupted me and said; “He did?! What was it like? Was it like a hard kiss or one of those quick soft kisses?”

I said; “Marcus! Don’t interrupted me!” and then I remembered my slightly damp panties and asked him for a tissue out of his purse.

And I’m continuing with my story by saying; “…George was about to hug me and I said…” Marcus interrupted me again and said; “Was it a strong hug? Because whenever he hugs me, it’s that wonderful manly-kind of hugs, you know?!”

I said; “Marcus! You’ve interrupted me again!”

He said; “Just tell me! Was it like a manly, firm, tight…manly kind of hugs?”!

That’s when I had heard enough. I said: “If you’re going to keep interrupting me, then I’m not going to tell you.”

Well, I hear Marcus downstairs talking to Senator Larry Craig again. I guess I should close here. Marcus’ X-Gay program at his psychiatry firm is going veryFruitFly 6 well! Ever since he converted Pastor Ted Haggard to be one hundred percent heterosexual, he’s been getting lots of calls from Republicans from all over the country! State representative Bob Allen will be staying with us while he’s being treated by Marcus next month and Glenn Murphy will be visiting us in October!

Until next time…

Mrs. Michele Bush…

kissieskissieskissies

The GOP’s Nazi-KKK PAC Looses in KY to “Wife Power”

The GOP’s political action group called the KKK held a recruiting rally in Lexington, KY only to be met by a bunch of clowns. The KKK, facing diminishing attendance since the beginning of the Bush Administration, needed new recruits for their hate-mongering PAC. Targeting Lexington as their focalYRNF point, Republican anti-Semites and racists came from as far away as Alabama and Illinois. The Nazis joined the KKK demonstrators in full uniform to support “American Families” and “Christian Conservative Values”.

Unfortunately, they were met by the “Anti-Racist Action”, a group that denounces Neo-Nazi values and openly admits to enjoying Matzo Ball soup now and on occasion. Dressed as clowns, the liberal Progressive Democrats made a complete mockery of the Nazis and the KKK protesters and from there, you’ll have read the rest of the story yourself.

Wife Power

Ummm…click the picture and stuff…

The GOP PAC has faced similar acts of mockery in Olympia, WA and in Orlando, FL last year. It’s commonly known thatFruitFly the Mormon Church hates Jesus more than the Jews (allegedly) do. So it’s no surprise that the Mitt Romney campaign hasn’t condemned the actions of these Nazi’s.

I saw it on “dKos“.