I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Big Gay Ice Cream

Big Ol’ dairy-queen Doug Quint says:

“If I weren’t gay, I wouldn’t call it the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck. And if I weren’t happy, I wouldn’t have the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck. It would just be the big crabby ice cream truck.”

Queer as a three-dollar bill and sellin’ ice cream like there’s no tomorrow…  Now that is America.

Maine Ways: A Video About Equality In Lobsterville

Gay Dude Gets Plum Job @ Justice Dept: Who Cares?!

This is boring:

On the same day that  the Justice Department softened its position in a gay-marriage lawsuit, word is emerging that the department has hired a liaison to the gay community.

Matt Nosanchuk, a former adviser to Sen. Bill Nelson (D-Fla.), will join the department as a senior counselor to the assistant attorney general for civil rights, according to an e-mail University of Pennsylvania Professor Tobias Wolff sent to associates Monday night. Wolff was a top LGBT adviser on the Obama campaign. In the e-mail, obtained by POLITICO, Wolff said Nosanchuk “will be the front office point person on LGBT issues for the DOJ Civil Rights Division” among other duties.

The hire looks like yet another effort by the Obama administration to calm the anger of the gay community over a series of perceived slights., including a controversial brief filed in June in a lawsuit over the Defense of Marriage Act

A Justice Department spokeswoman had no immediate comment on the reported hire.

Yellow-highlights are mine – because the attempt is pathetically obvious. That “controversial brief” filed by Obama’s DOJ compared gay-relationships to incest with uncles sleeping with nephews and other disgusting perversions.

I’m still offended.  Mr. Nosanchuk’s service to Mr. Obama is a patronizing puppet show.  Typical for a Democrat to whip out a dummy in order to perform a thesis for a Ph.D. in Vantriloquism.

Did you miss an African-American “liason” to the DOJ?  How about looking for a “Woman” liason?  Need a “Puerto Rican liason”?

Blurring the lines between racism and sexual orientation is a chemistry set. Obama is  simply clueless on what to do with his bunson burners.

Bite me, Barack!  You hate us – we get it.  We were dumb.

Julian Bond of the NAACP supports the GLBT community better than setting up a skinny-white guy to represent us. Thanks for the patsy, Dude-in-Chief.  I’m totally convinced that Mr. Nosanchuk will play any role in your adminstration beyond yuk-yuk-jokes, Uranus-laffs and Faggot-gaffs.

Senator Mel Martinez (R-FL) Resigning Term Early

An easy moderate for Florida, Senator Martinez told staffers this morning in a meeting that he would not be returning to the Senate after the summer recess. The Senator is rumored to pursuit a presidential position at Florida State University which was recently vacated. The Senator has a history of being very gay-friendly in spite of his party’s homophobic attitudes towards the GLBT Community.

His re-election takes place next year and Florida law gives Governor Charlie Crist (R) the opportunity to appoint a caretaker to the vacancy until the Nov. 2010 election. From the L.A. Times:

Crist stuck his head out of the front door of the Governor’s Mansion this morning and told us he hadn’t spoken with Sen. Mel Martinez yet and had no other comment on the reports of his resignation.

It’s important to note that Florida was one of the “13 Bush States” that Barack Obama picked up in last year’s election making the upcoming election a definite toss-up.

The Great Minnesota State Fair: Coming Soon!

For those of you who aren’t so privileged to live in Minnesota, we have the largest State Fair in the country next to the Texas State Fair. If I recall, the Texas State Fair is “bigger” based on geographical size, while Minnesota’s State Fair is the largest based on Visiting/Attendees. However, I could be wrong and the complete opposite of those two could also be true.

So, let’s look at some State Fair Poster Art that was rejected this year, shall we?
Ooooh…who can forget that toothy grin of Rep Bachmann?! That’s what happens in Minnesota when you hate the gays: You’re sentenced to wear a pancake-on-a-stick on your head and you have to dye the hair on your chest lime-green.

How about the food?!  Here are some new suggestions!

Lower in trans-fat, the baked corn-dog shows great promise!

Something those California Hippies are serving in their State Fair:  the Zucchini stuffed dog!

Well, it’s not only kinky, but it’s  delicous too!

Well, I can’t wait!  When the State Fair rolls around, it means all of the screaming kids in our neighborhood will soon be heading back to school and I can finally get my afternoon naps back.  Meanwhile, PASS THE KETCHUP!  LET’S EAT!

Fruit F. Fly at Tickles’ Gay Pride 2009 Pig Roast

…With me on the viewer’s left: Close friends Dave and Mike in the center and our good friend Jim on the right. My partner had to work that day, so he had no choice but be jealous.

Tickles had an awesome pig roast for Gay Pride 2009, so we went cannibal and became pigs ourselves.  The beer was tooth-numbing cold.  There’s nothing better than being with your best friends while celebrating Pride.

And what’s my problem?  I just can’t keep my hands off men!  Look at me! I look like a burping blanket draped all over Dave like I”m about to hump his leg. I swear he was going to pepper-spray me if I climbed into his lap…

The photo came from Lavender magazine.  Some Shutter-Bug asked if he could take our picture, we said Okay and then we all snuggled up to each other to fit in the shot.  I think I was holding it in much more than the others.

Lavender is going to sue me for posting this picture on my blog, I’m sure of it.  So click on the picture and then dial up all of their advertisers and buy as much stuff as you can so I can say it was for a worthy cause.  Otherwise, I’ll just have to take it down and that would kinda suck.  After all, I’m still fabulous!  And I mean it!

I had a great time, Girlfriends!

Love ya tons!

Fruit F. Fly

Same-Sex Marriage Home Party Kit?!

Oh snap!!  I’m getting me one of these things!

A “Same-Sex Marriage Home Party Kit“?!

That is so cool!

I can’t wait to invite my lesbians friends over and they can try out the snap-on dildos, and I’m hoping there’s a rhinstone tiara kit included!

HuH?!  No?!  This is another stupid ruse published by those fake Jesus Loving homophobes over at that NOM (National Organization of Marriage) group?

This trash is getting sold by the “Ruth Institute“, an affiliate for NOM.

These guys are sellling a “same-sex marriage home party kit” — Only they’re packaging it with their propaganda materials (bumper stickers, wristbands, books and audio CD) all focused on the fear-factor based on the concept of same-sex marriage:

• Homos Married – Horror!
• Gay Marriage — Terror!
• Equality under the law — Earthquake!
• Run for your lives!

Why  we shouldn’t have same-sex marriage?!  (Hint:  Massachusetts has been marrying same-sex couples since May 2004…Have you heard any meltdown with those folks over in Beantown lately?  Godzilla busting up Boston Harbor?  …God destroying Worcester, Massachusetts with fire and brimstone at all?)

Because heterosexual marriage is “better”?

Why?

Isn’t that classism?

Why aren’t they selling a “Hetero-Sex Marriage Home Party Kit”?  They could promote baby photos, bassinetts, and gender stereotypical products like aprons for Mom and a 10-piece socket-set for Dad!

Why the deception?  Why all of this drama?!  (A same-sex home party-kit?!)

This is the second time these Homophobic Bigots have been caught peddling fake materials!  NOM (National Organization of Marriage) was caught red-handed by producing a television commericial falsely claiming to use real people to express the horrors of gay marriage when they were actually using actors.

So again – why the deception?

Why can’t they be truthful on what they’re peddling?!

…Because this entire topic about the horrors of same-sex marriage is nothing but deception!!  It’s simply a bully-pulpit by religious bigots!

Trust me; a rhinestone tiara kit and a strap-on dildo will be a hell of a lot more entertaining than this kind of bullshit.

…Throw in free Maybellline lipstick samples, used motor oil and motorcycle accessories (for the butch lesbians) and strawberry cheese-cake for everybody and you’ve got yourself a serious party!

h/t Jeremy at (G.A.Y.) Good on you Girlfriend!  Keep it up!  …and you know what I mean by that!

Bill Clinton Supports Same-Sex Marriage, Four Terms Too Late

The same president who authored DOMA, (Defense of Marriage Act) has reversed his views on same-sex marriage.  While at the Campus Progress National Conference in Washington DC, President Bill Clinton was asked if he supported same-sex marriage.

“Yeah … I personally support people doing what they want to do. I think it’s wrong for someone to stop someone else from doing that [same-sex marriage].”

Perhaps, after finding not a lot of love from the GLBT for DOMA, the Clintons have come a long way to begin shaking our hands in support.  Clinton went on the record to be against California’s Prop 8 bill saying it was unfair and wrong.  On the other hand, he snubbed protestors by crossing the picket lines at San Diego’s Manchester’s Grand Hyatt Hotel to deliver a six figure speech last year.  (It was the hotel’s owner Doug Manchester, who funded Prop 8 by donating $125,000.)

Last May, when confronted with the question about same-sex marriage, Clinton said “his views were evolving.”  Unfortunate: Clinton’s evolutionary clock runs so much slower than everybody elses’.

Shannyn Moore to Gov Sarah Palin: We Got Rid of the Queens, Too

Shannyn Moore, a liberal blogger from Homer, Alaska has been crashing in on Governor Sarah Palin’s (R-AK)  political tea party far too long.  It’s pissed off the Governor so much, she’s now threatening lawsuits against Moore and all of the rest of us liberal bloggers who dare say anything nasty against Her Royal Fucking Majesty.

“”To the extent several websites, most notably liberal Alaska blogger Shannyn Moore, are now claiming as ‘fact’ that Governor Palin resigned because she is ‘under federal investigation’ for embezzlement or other criminal wrongdoing, we will be exploring legal options this week to address such defamation,” Van Flein (Palin’s attorney)  said in

Her Majesty: Queen Sarah I

a statement. “This is to provide notice to Ms. Moore, and those who re-publish the defamation, such as Huffington Post, MSNBC, the New York Times and The Washington Post, that the Palins will not allow them to propagate defamatory material without answering to this in a court of law.”

Do you remember Palin at the GOP Convention in St Paul last year?  Her comment about “…pitbull with lipstick”?!  Well, Shannyn Moore is going to be holding a press conference of her own, and apparently she’s a pitbull that won’t be muzzled:

I’m holding a press conference today at 2pm ADT/6pm EDT in front of Governor Palin’s Anchorage office.  My prepared statement is below.  I will be taking questions.

On the Fourth of July, when Americans everywhere were celebrating our most sacred national holiday with parades and barbeques, Governor Sarah Palin was busy having me, Shannyn Moore, declared an Enemy of the State.

In a rambling quasi-legal letter, the most powerful person in this state accused me of defaming her for pointing out the fact that there have been rumors, -rumors- of corruption, rumors that have been around for years.

When Sarah Palin gave her three-weeks notice to the people of Alaska, aborting her term as Governor, a lot of people wondered why she quit.  Mid-level managers turn-in their notice, not elected public officials.  It didn’t make sense.  It still doesn’t.  People have been trying to guess why she really quit, and everyone in Alaska has been playing the guessing game.  They’re rumors. There are a lot of rumors.  And with all the corruption we’ve had here in Alaska, of course we wonder what’s really behind her resignation.

Governors don’t just quit.  But Governor Palin did.

The governor’s massive overreaction -on the Fourth of July no less- should make any reasonable person wonder what’s wrong with her.  The Lady protests way too much.  Eventually we’ll all find out why she really walked off the job.

Sarah Palin is a coward and a bully.  What kind of politician attacks an ordinary American on the Fourth of July for speaking her mind?  What’s wrong with her?  The First Amendment was designed to protect people like me from the likes of people like her.  Our American Revolution got rid of kings.  And queens, too. Am I jacked-up? You betcha.

Sarah Palin, if you have a problem with me, then sue me.  Shannyn Moore will not be muzzled!

I love it!

Well, I only sort of love it.  When Shannyn Moore is saying that our American Revolution got rid of queens, she’s talking about Royalty, isn’t she?  I hope she’s not talking about all of those gay guys like me!  Where in the hell would we hold our Gay Pride Parades and our Debutant Balls?!  For gods sakes…

Who will arrange your flowers ?!

Think of your children, People!  Who’s going to plan your daughters’ weddings?!

Just to make sure I’m included in that lawsuit: Sarah Palin is a Giant-Sized Boob! Sarah Palin is dumber than a bag full of hammers! Sarah Palin is so full of bullshit, they put her on the end-zones of football games to keep the flies off the Alaskan cheerleaders! Sarah Palin is so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the shit out of the toilet. Sarah Palin is so dumb, she sold her car for gas money. Sarah Palin is so stupid, she got locked in at Matress World and slept on the damned floor.

WBC To Protest “Fag” Michael Jackson Memorial

This is gonna rawk…

In case you’re unaware – Westboro Baptist Chuch is the “God Hates Fags” group out of Kansas.  The church as only 80-odd members, most of whom are related to Fred Phelps in some form or another.  Two, maybe three of his own children have disowned him, the remaining children are all lame-suck attorneys.

The game-plan is always the same for these douche-bags.  If anybody lays a finger on them – their attorneys are filing lawsuits against everybody – including the Jackson family and the Staples Center.

The answer to the situation is simple: Arrest these A-holes before some 200,000 Michael Jackson fans bear down on the entire group and give all of them a colonoscopy with one of their “God Hates Fags” signs.

Watching LAPD underestimate the furor these massive crowds are going to ventilate against this tiny little band of hate mongers would be sweet.  More than likely, none of them would survive to file their lawsuits and we’ll all be the better for it.  I’m not going to advocate murdering these douchebags, although it would be deserved.  I’m just imagining the chaos that would result if someone isn’t paying attention.  Calling Michael Jackson a “Fag” following the Prop 8 aftermath just makes for some really bad mo-jo.

Pam gets the street-creds for spotting it.