Katherine Kersten’s “Fascist America”

The Minneapolis Star Tribune press has Katherine Kersten’s newest column: Is there hope for Minnesota conservatives? There is now.

Kersten shills her entire piece by announcing a new conservative hate group called; “Freedom Foundation of Minnesota” which is headed up by her BFF Annette Meeks. Now everybody knows that Kersten is the laziest columnist on the Star Tribune staff. The research behind her writing is positively deplorable and instead of worrying about the facts, she makes the shit up and lies her ass off to make her point. But I’m digressing. In this piece, Katherine Kersten gushes about how fabulous her BFF is and informs her faithful readers about Meeks’ newest venture called the “Freedom Foundation of Minnesota”.

Nice! It’s an advertising column!

I whipped out my welding goggles, required reading for Kersten’s work, and waded through her piece with a firm grip on my nostrils.

Former Deputy in Chief to US Speaker of the House and philanderer Newt Gingrich, Annette Meeks is kicking off this new …”organization” as a mechanism for everything conservative in Minnesota. It’s really nothing more than another boring watch-dog group for conservatives. Apparently we don’t have enough of those groups here. The Minnesota Tax Payer League as an example, is another boring watch-dog group. But Meeks isn’t president of that organization. She plans on a bigger, better watch-dog group of her own.

Haven’t you heard? Republican chicks rule!

In Kersten’s column, Ms. Meeks gushes:

“Most Minnesotans are happy with our quality of life, but the debate at the Legislature is always about spending more money,” Meeks said. “If you listen to some legislators, you’d think we’re spending down to the level of Mississippi, with services to match.”

Ahhh…. Well thank God the Father, the Son and the Spooky One we have this brand new non-prof here on stand-by!! …Because when it comes to anything remotely related one single penny spent by our extremely Hated Legislature: Meeks will be up in their grill and kicking their political asses!! …And then Minnesotans will be extra super-duper happy with their quality of life!!

<<WHAT?!?!?>>

Kersten points out Meeks’s secret “mission”:

The Freedom Foundation’s mission is to provide intellectual ammunition for center-right ground troops in the war of ideas. It will arm legislators with information about innovative, free-market solutions to problems like crime and traffic congestion.

Skipping past all of the “war rhetoric bullshit”, the highlighted phrase is very important. In case you’re unaware, “Free-market solutions” is code for “privatization”. It’s a huge Libertarian Republican theory running through many Republican policy makers started by Ronald Reagan.

Reagan taught all of us that hating our government is good! Our government is stupid, broken and nothing more than a giant-sized Red Devil sucking the chump-change right from underneath the sofa cushions. And since our government is so horribly broken; Privatization is the obvious answer.

…God bless America!! Go Twins!!

…Our government is BROKEN!!

You see what I mean? It even SOUNDS patriotic!! You hear someone say: “Our Government sucks!!” and Meeks (and Kersten) will be front and center hoping someone whips out a cassette of Neil Diamond’s “We’re coming to America!!”

No wait…That’s a song about immigration. They hate immigrants too.

Privatization solves the financial crises they’re facing when it comes to a low-tax or no-tax political platform. For example; privatizing the police department will result in a pay as you go when it comes to rounding up the team of detectives to find that thief who burglarized your home. And if you’re poor, living in a low-income area in rural or urban Minnesota, don’t even bother calling the cops, you couldn’t afford them anyway.

• Your local fire department has a sale going on right now: “Is the barn burning? We’ll even extinguish your burning woodshed for only $595 extra! Hurry! There’s only two weeks left for this great savings!”
• Your drive up to Grandmas for Christmas next year will be decided on how many toll-booths are on MN 65 compared to US 10. (Nevermind the charges of those tolls of course. WellsFargo owns MN 65, Northwest Airlines owns I-35 and Champion Auto Stores owns US 10, so look for coupons in the Sunday press!!)

This entire effort isn’t new, it’s just been retooled. In 1922 Benito Mussolini coined the original word: fascism.

From ’22 to ’43, Mussolini, Italy’s dictator of WW II, privatized everything in the Italian federal government and all if it thrown under the control of his cronies and their corporations. The citizens of Italy quit paying taxes to their government and began paying instead, everything to corporate CEO’s. Deregulated corporations were beholden only to the “Super CEO” Mussolini and the Italian people were instantly thrown into despot poverty.

Yeah, I know… President Bush calls the insurgents in Iraq and Afghanistan “islamo-fascist” and he’s using that junk-word incorrectly. But when you have a president that has the diction of a third-grader, what more could you expect? (My humble apologies to third-graders everywhere.)

These Republicans are all into it this “privatized” and “free market solutions” crap. Libertarian Republican presidential hopeful Ron Paul is another one.  Paul not only supports disposing of the IRS and privatizing the tax collector, he’s also a huge supporter of ASSS: The Alliance of the Separation of State and Schools. These guys think that if you want your kid to get an education, you should have to pay for it. All of it!! The books, the teachers, the chalk, the toilet paper…you pay everything.

Trust me: I’m sure the any company that’ll educate your kid will not hesitate the opportunity to charge you rent for your kid’s desk too!

And if you’re in a lower income bracket;

…government schools already fail the poor in some of the most spectacular ways — illiteracy, dangerous schools, the worst teachers, low expectations, and the list could go on.

Nice, huh?!

If the government is already “failing” poor kids (which are really your kids), then what the hell is the problem? Never mind the hundreds of thousands of children from low-income homes who graduate and go on to become highly respected doctors, lawyers or maybe even a Mom or a Dad just like you!! All thanks to our public education system!

But think about how much we save in taxes if we abolish education?!?!

After Hurricane Katrina, these fascist neocons got their wish and have privatized virtually the entire New Orleans school system. Currently, living in New Orleans requires the consideration of your income, your skin color or who you are politically connected with if you want your kid to have an education down there.

Bush is the biggest perpetrator of this movement of “free market solutions” with our government. No-bid contracts to private corporations like Halliburton and Bechtel in Iraq. His failed attempt to privatize social security and Medicare. Even his private mercenary army called Blackwater has “mega-bases” in North Carolina and California and now they’re building another one in Illinois. (For an in-depth look into Blackwater, I highly recommend that you spend the time with Bill Moyers and Jeremy Scahill in a two-part video available at PBS. Both parts are 22 minutes each, but you’ll be flabbergasted at what you’ll learn on this form of “free market” privatization.)

In a discussion regarding the privatizing of FEMA as a result of Hurricane Katrina, Ezra Klein writes:

It’s a larger-scale, and significantly more cynical, deployment of the classic starve-the-beast strategy. If government has no tax revenues, it’ll do a bad job. If it does a bad job, people won’t like it. If people don’t like government, they’ll vote Republican. Replace “no tax revenues” with “incompetent leaders appointed through political patronage” and you’ve got this slimy little bastard.

From Wikipedia’s page on fascism:

Fascism in Italy combined elements of corporatism, totalitarianism, nationalism, militarism and anti-Communism. Fascism won support as an alternative to the unpopular liberalism of the time.

Woah! Spooky sounding, huh?! Like, where have we seen this recently?!?

Al Franken said it best:

“These Republicans complain that our government is broken. And then they get elected and prove it!”

How very true is that? Minnesota’s Lt Governor Carol Molnau performs double-duty as Minnesota’s Transportation Commissioner because it saves the Minnesota taxpayers the commissioner’s annual salary. To make sure MnDOT is run on the cheap, they have to hang protective shielding over the sidewalks to keep pedestrians from getting hit by falling cement chunks. I don’t even have to discuss the I-35W bridge collapse, I already did when it fell! Sufficed to say, these fascist neocons will run our government on the cheap, even if it means killing our families and neighbors.

Kersten clarifies the beauty of Meeks’ Freedom Foundation of Minnesota in the twelfth paragraph of her advertisement:

For example, Minnesota ranks No. 2 in the country in the percentage of people under age 65 with private health insurance. But in 2006, we were No. 1 in legislatively imposed health-care mandates, according to the Council for Affordable Health Insurance. That makes insurance more expensive, Meeks says. Flexible, affordable health-care packages, not more spending, may be the key to expanding access even further.

Now, I warned you that Kersten’s writing is nothing short of crap. Does this paragraph look like a pigeon in a flock of mallards? So…if we had more imposed health-care mandates, we’ll be Number 1 in the country who has affordable health care? You see what I mean? It’s crap and it’s 100% Katherine Kersten.

Kersten finishes her advertising column quoting Ms. Meeks:

“We’ve heard for a long time that Ronald Reagan was the conservative movement and he’s dead, so the movement must be dead,” Meeks said. “But these young people have no memory of Ronald Reagan. They’re drawn to conservatism by something else — the power of our ideas.”

Hrmm… Yeah. A friend of mine just zapped me an interesting YouTube. It’s a live recording of that very same Ronald Reagan giving a stump speech for Harry S. Truman in 1948 where he also highly praises a “good Democrat” from Minneapolis called Hubert Humphrey. In the four minute speech, Reagan blasts the Republicans and corporate CEO’s for raising prices and offers pity to lower income Americans who have been stomped by the Republican elite. Do you think this is what Meeks had in mind?!

Worth Noting..!

In Annette Meeks’ “Freedom Foundation of Minnesota’s” website, there’s a section for “issues”. One of them is on the subject of “Transportation” where they cite a white paper published by the Minnesota Chamber of Commerce. Clicking on the italicized “Minnesota Chamber of Commerce” will bring you this:

• The Minnesota Chamber supports the following revenue options for consideration as part of a comprehensive funding package:
  • Trunk Highway Bonding. A portion of the new motor vehicle sales tax dollars should be used for trunk highway bonding to accelerate transportation projects throughout the state.
  • General obligation bonding.
  • Up to a 5-cent fuel tax increase.
  • A change in the vehicle tab fee depreciation schedule designed to raise up to $100 million.
  • Up to $100 million in new operating efficiencies.

<<GASP!!>>

The Minnesota Chamber of Commerce supports up to a 5-cent fuel tax increase in their long term transportation fundingplans in the state!?!!? The MN Chamber of Commerce is proposing political heresy!! Where are the GOP screams? Where’s the gnashing of teeth?! Oh…The Horror!! The HORROR! Why…the Democrats in Minnesota’s 2007 legislature proposed both a 5-cent and a 10-cent gas increase and our GOP governor voted both of them!!

This “Freedom Foundation of Minnesota” non-prof group, Annette Meeks and Katherine Kersten are nothing but two-bit political hacks. They’re a joke and should be regarded as nothing less than the fascist neocons that they are.

Good Riddance

It goes into effect 10:59PM CST Tonight. We won’t miss him.

Illinois’ biggest embarrassment took the Speaker of the House position in Januay 1999, he’s made a mockery of it and the rest of the U.S.

“Fat” Denny’s credit goes towards in “international foreign policy”. Four months after his ascension as Speaker of the House, Hastert said:

At the same time Congress was attaching human rights conditions to U.S. security assistance programs and negotiating a formal end-use monitoring agreement with the Colombian defense ministry, other lawmakers were secretly assuring Colombian officials that they felt such restrictions were unwarranted, and would work to either remove the conditions or limit their effectiveness.

One example of this was a congressional delegation led by Rep. Dennis Hastert (R-IL) which met with Colombian military officials, promising to “remove conditions on assistance” and complaining about “leftist-dominated” U.S. congresses of years past that “used human rights as an excuse to aid the left in other countries.” Hastert said he would to correct this situation and expedite aid to countries allied in the war on drugs and also encouraged Colombian military officials to “bypass the U.S. executive branch and communicate directly with Congress.”

Ah yes. Speaker of the House Denny Hastert is telling Columbia and everybody else: “You all ignore the President of the United States from now on. You have a problem – you come directly to me.” Does this sound like a Republican coup d’état to you? One has to wonder: If Nancy Pilosi would have said anything remotely like this to say…”Iraq” – do you think the Republicans in this country would simply shrug it off, ignore it and move on along?

After Hurrican Katrina wiped out New Orleans, Denny Hastert decided that it didn’t make any sense to rebuild the city (after all, it was King George who kept the money allocated to replace and repair New Orleans’ levee and spent it on his Iraqi (Oil) War in spite of the many warnings of that disaster). Hastert said:

“It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed,” the Illinois Republican said in an interview Wednesday with the Daily Herald of Arlington Heights, Ill.

That’s Fat Denny’s “Domestic Agenda”!

Hastert was told one year prior to the Mark Foley page scandal, and yet he told nobody on the left of the Congressional aisle. Mark Foley (R-FL) was allowed his sexual predatory behavior towards minors in the page program and Hastert did nothing about it. One former aid, Kirk Fordham said in an interview that he notified Hastert’s office three years prior to the scandal breaking out! The ethics panel investigated the case, (having no power over Foley because he bailed out of Congress) resulted in saying:

The committee found that there was “a disconcerting unwillingness to take responsibility for resolving issues regarding Representative Foley’s conduct.” Those in the chain of command, the report said, “did far too little, while attempting to pass the responsibility for acting to others.”

But never fear, the panel said that Denny Hastert may have been negligent, but:

But the panel also concluded that neither Mr. Hastert nor other officers of the House had violated any House rules, and recommended no sanctions for their failure to stop Mr. Foley’s conduct.

It’s been people like Denny Hastert and the Republican leadership in both the White House and Congress that explains why they lost Congress to the Democrats in 2006. Did I tell you that Denny Hastert also took $100,000 in donations from Jack Abramoff and his lobbying firm? I didn’t? Sorry.

Good bye Denny Hastert! Return to the sewer from wherever you came!! You were an embarrassment to your state and to the United States!! We won’t miss you!! We promise!

 

Senator Lott Leaves – Enlists with Lobby-Scum Brigade

Trent Lott (R-MS) has a deadline looming ahead of him: January 1st.

Earlier this year, the Democrats changed the law regulating lobbyists in Congress. There used to be a “time-out” period of one year for a member of Congress to leave and return as a scum-sucking lobbyist. The Democrats changed all of that by extending it to two years, enough time for at least one election cycle to pass through.

A law kicks in on January 1 that forbids lawmakers from lobbying for two years after leaving office. Those who leave by the end of 2007 are covered by the previous law, which demands a wait of only one year.

Lott, known most for his 2002 comments at racist/bigoted Republican Senator Strom Thurmond’s birthday. During the celbration, Lott noted that if Thurmond’s presidential election campaign would have succeeded, “we wouldn’t have had all of problems”; referencing the Civil Rights era, women’s rights and GLBT rights success over the past forty years. Sounds preposterous, I know. But the Senator isn’t the only Republican who feels that way. Michelle Malkin, who is an Asian American her self, ridicules Asian Americans by complaining that they stupidly vote Democrat and they smell like “stinky tofu”. Her foul-mouthed tranny sister Ann Coulter would agree, she believes women are too stupid to know how to vote and they should have their right to vote taken away!

Ahh, bliss. With the racism, sexism and their boiling cauldron of hate, it truly is no wonder why the GOP is so unpopular these days.

Lott, beating out the January 1 deadline, is going to join the ranks of Jack Abramoff as a lobbyist trying to win the hearts and minds of a Democratically controlled Congress in 2009.

Another Larry Craig video: Complete with painted toe-nails

Mike Rogers (BlogActive) spotted this one. It’s a great satire on the Matt Lauer interview with Larry Craig and his wife Suzanne. On a scale of 1 to 10 on my “That’s Pretty Damned Funny” meter – I’d give it an 8.

(Watch it by being “Staff Only” and go on in to the Mens Room.)

Keith Ellison Supports Impeaching the Veep!!!

I just got off the phone with Ellison’s office here in MSP…

Congressman Ellison’s office!

Hi! Umm… I’m like – totally fabulous and stuff! And, Umm…ahh… I was wonderin’….

Yes? What can I help you with?

Ummmmm… So Umm…. Does like …Ahhhh… Congressman Ellison support that ahhhhhhh… Impeaching the Vice Ahhh…President thinga-ma-jiggy dealy-whop?

Yes he does!

Ummm.. ahhhhh…Really?

Yes he really does!

Woahhhh!! That is like Ummm… So totally cool!! Thank you!

Certainly!

Ummm… ahhh..can you give him a message from aaahhh….. me?

Of course I can! What would you like me to tell the Congressman?

Ahhhhhh… Can you ahhh…. Can you tell him that I really like him and I think he’s really cute and …

No. I won’t tell him that. But I will tell him you like his stand on Impeaching the Vice President.

Ahhhh…. Okay. Thank you!!

You’re welcome. Good bye!

Ahhhhh.. Ummmm….Good b<click>

The conversation sort of went like that. But I didn’t say that I thought he was cute and all. I just made that part up.

The Chinese Fortune Cookie: $$$-American

Americans have been introduced to their first steps as citizen-slaves by recognizing rich Chinese economists and business leaders who have kicked the US dollar to new lows. With a flip comment from one Chinese business man, the US Dollar falls even lower.

P.S. King George remains MIA. Typical. King George has been MIA since the Alabama National Guard. (Far too busy spreading “democracy” in nuclear-rich Pakistan.) Let’s not talk about King George’s failing for now.

The euro broke the $1.47 barrier before retreating a little and the pound climbed above $2.10, a value it had not reached 26 years ago. Other currencies also posted gains against the dollar.

Remarks by Cheng Siwei, vice chairman of the National People’s Congress in China — a colossal dollar investor by virtue of its $1.43 trillion in currency reserves, most of which are presumed to be denominated in dollars — helped drive the dollar lower.

“In terms of the structure of our foreign exchange reserves, we should take advantage of the appreciation of strong currencies to offset the depreciation of weak currencies,” Mr. Cheng said, according to Reuters.

While some viewed the statement as out of step with other officials, it highlighted the new power of state-controlled pools of cash to drive buying and selling. Russia and several Middle Eastern countries, flush from oil and natural gas sales, have similar sovereign wealth funds, and their appetite for assets not denominated in dollars appeared to be growing by the day.

Yes it’s true:  While King George fiddles with the Middle East, the Chinese has bought the American Dream.  Now they can do whatever they want with it, regardless of what the harem of Republican whores tell you.  Enjoy your fried rice and cashew beef!

“I” is for “Impeachment”

Okay, I think I’ve figured out what happened.

Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH 10th) Presidential hopeful and Druidic High Priest, entered HR Bill 333 back in April 2007. Everybody snickered and giggle behind his back because as you already know, Kucinich smokes marijuana and gets his Tarot read by famous Hollywood moonbats like Shirley MacLain. Only problem is that High Priestess Nancy Pilosi already told everybody that Impeaching any of the Bush Cartel was off the table. (Pilosi is far too liberal and way too interested in working on the super-secret “Gay Agenda” to be dealing on an Impeachment case.)

Yesterday comes around and Nancy’s sex-slave Steny Hoyer (D-MD 5th) holds the floor and up comes HR Bill 333. Hoyer doesn’t want to deal with this bill and so he puts out the vote to “table it”. In other words: “Let’s ignore this bill like we did in New Orleans.” Now before he can call for a vote to “table” the bill, it has to be read to the full House or Representatives. Out comes a House clerk who’s name was Willow or something and she reads the Articles of Impeachment for Dick “Darth Vader” Cheney.

Now, the dope-smoker ‘s articles of Impeachment are official in the Congressional records. Steny Hoyer thanked Willow and then told the full House that his “Safe Word” was “butt pimple”. He said that it was important that before any sexual activity began during the vote, that everybody knew what everybody else’s “safe word” was. He then repeated his own: “butt pimple”.

The Dems aren’t really interested in the bill; it reaks of mugwort and deep-fried eye-of-newt. Besides, someone had written the bill on hemp paper. The only ones that are interested in the bill are Dems that have their own Druid high priestesses and Dark Arts professors.

The Republicans are definitely not interested in Impeaching their beloved Darth Vader; so being protected on all sides by The Empires’ Storm Troopers, they immediately began voting “Hell YEAH-Let’s Table It”.

House Minority leader John Boehner (R-OH 8th) took some erectile dysfunction tablets made by Pfizer, Inc. and all of a sudden, he had an epiphany: Here was a golden opportunity embarrass High Priestess Pilosi! If they voted against tabling it and let the bill come to the floor for a full debate…

“That little pill creates some mighty big results!” he thought. Here was a brilliant opportunity to make Pilosi look stupid in front of the United States and her “life-partner”!!

With an erection that looked like he had a decent sized pumpkin in his drawers, Boehner began pushing Storm Troopers out of his way and saying; “Get the hell out of my way! I’m John Boehner and I work for the good of The Empire!”. He tagged all of his colleagues by saying “Let’s make fun of Pilosi…this’ll be great. Let’s all vote against tabling this stupid bill and we’ll be able to debate it and make Pilosi look like a Jack-Ass! Get it?! She’s a Democrat so we can make her look like a Jack-Ass!!”

All of the Republicans laughed and said; “Yeah, we get it. That’s really funny…”jackass”. Now what are we supposed to do again?”

Boehner had a very difficult time keeping their attention with that medication “problem” down in his trousers banging into them. But eventually he managed to get his message through. All of the Republicans finally understood and said; “Ooohhh! SNAP!! The Emperor and Darth Vader will be so pleased! You’re right! We can make fun of Pilosi and that stupid Dennis Kucinich too!”

One Republican said to him; “Have you had that…ehm..bulge for more than four hours?” I don’t know: It could have been a physician who asked that, but more than likely it was just another Republican closet-case.

Anyway, Steny left the sacrificial virgin on his pulpit for 15 minutes…and then a little longer…and then a little longer. And he began to realize that not only did he have to take a pee-break, but that the Republicans were are changing their votes from “Yeah Let’s Table It” to “No Way Man, Let’s Have a Debate About It!!”. Steny didn’t know what to think: On one hand, it’d take over a half hour to get all of his leather gear off so he could pee — on the other, he didn’t understand why the Republicans were being such idiots for changing the votes to “NO” and then flipping him the bird.

Steny decided to risk it and take a pee-break and to let the Republicans have all the time they needed. After an hour, the full House had their votes cast and so Steney pushed the sacrificed virgin off his pulpit and called the vote.

170 – 242

(WTOP.com and the NY Times reports that the 162 – 251, but who cares what they have to say anyway.) That means, 170 members said “Yeah..Let’s scrap Kucinich’s HR 333” and 242 who said; “Let’s not table it – Let’s debate it so we can make fun of Nancy Pilosi!!! “

“We’re going to help them out, to explain themselves,” said Rep. Pete Sessions (R-TX 32nd) while pulling the head off an adolescent Ewok. “We’re going to give them their day in court.”

Hoyers’ gavel, a labrys stolen from the High Priestess’ office, banged on the pulpit: “So moved. We’ll open it up to debate the Impeachment.”

Then, reality hit the Republicans like a Jedi knight’s lightsaber through their brain-pans: “What did we just do?!?! Huh?” Someone from some redneck state whimpered nervously; “Did we just vote to open the debate on the Impeachment of Darth Vader?!”

Storm Troopers closed ranks around all of them, Vader immediately grabbed his shotgun and a little bit of pee ran up John Boehner’s leg. The Emperor sent a fleet of Incom T-65 X-Wing star fighters to hover over the House of Representatives and signed another $30 Billion contract with Boba Fett.

Sunshine, a communal-spouse of Harry Waxman (D-CA 30th) suddenly placed her blunt down gingerly and said: “Why don’t we push this off to Committee?!”

Everybody looked up to Steny Hoyer thinking: “Good idea! Let’s push it off to committee!” Patrick McHenry (R-NC 10th) winked at Hoyer and had a Congressional page pass a note up to him that said: “Your leather outfit is turning me on…call me Daddie. Love, Patty-Pat-Pat.”

Steny Hoyer grabbed another virgin, this time a brunette, sacrificed her to in the name of the Goddess Morrigan and held the vote: “Shall We Push Kucinich’s HR 333 Off To Committee?!”

The House voted again. This time:

218 194

(WTOP.com got it figured out that time.) Now the bill is in the hands of John “Big Eagle Winds” Conyers (D-MI 14th) who’s head of the House Judiciary And All Things Wicca.

John Boehner began crying (again) and sobbing: “The Emperor will be so upset with me!! Oh goodness, I just love this country so much… He…he.. He’s just going to kill my family and he’ll boil my head and eat it for lunch!!” Storm Troopers carried Boehner off while he was wailing and begging for mercy.

The bill was originally co-sponsored by House Judiciary Committe members: Tammy (Dew Rain) Baldwin (D-WI 2nd) Keith (Moonbeam) Ellison (D-MN 5th), Sheila (Rainbow) Jackson-Lee (D-TX 18th), Steve (Sunflower) Cohn (D-TN 9th), Maxine (Twilight) Waters (D-CA 35th) and Hank (Sunlight) Johnson (D-GA 4th), none of whom have passed a drug test since the 2nd Grade. Now that they have more power to truly Impeach the Vader, none of them show any interest today.

Representative Conyers, an former rabid hater of the Empire, the Emperor and Darth Vader, whimped out and has decided that he’s too busy to be bothered by all of this Impeachment Bru-Ha-Ha. His sweat lodge found Judiciary spokeswiccan named “Oak Would” (who was in the middle of “The Mysts of Avalon”) and sent her out to say this:

“The committee has a very busy agenda – over the next two weeks, we hope to pass a FISA bill, to vote on contempt of Congress citations, pass legislation on prisoner re-entry, court security and a variety of other very important items. We were surprised that the minority was so ready to move forward with consideration of a matter of such complexity as impeaching the Vice President. The Chairman will discuss today’s vote with the committee members but it would seem evident that the committee staff should continue to consider, as a preliminary matter, the many abuses of this Administration, including the Vice President.” – House Judiciary Committee Spokeswoman wiccan.

High Priestess Nancy Pilosi, the first Speaker of the House to create a blog off the Priestess’ coven, has absolutely NOTHING listed about HR Bill 333.

Whew!! Washington can be such a crazy place!!! Thank the Goddess I had Kagro X @ DailyKos to help me figure all that out!!

The “Purification” of the GOP (The Matzo ball Soup Lunch)

C’mone in! Come on! Oh, don’t worry about your shoes, they’re fine. I’m so glad you came! C’mon sit down! “Take a load off!” as they say. Sit! Sit! I’m in the middle of my lunch; a little bit of smoked Lox and a bowl of Matzo ball soup. You want some?! No? I don’t blame you. I’ve discovered I’m not too much of a fan of the stuff. The Lox is okay but the soup? I dunno. Let’s put it this way: I am no longer curious as to why there aren’t any television shows focusing on Jewish cuisine on that Food Network channel.

The Matzo balls are okay – but the broth is pretty thin – huh? Oh no, no, no…I’m not Jewish. I’m gay, so I have a natural affinity for anything that comes accessorised with balls. You should see my Christmas tree! Oy Vey! I’ve got more swinging balls on my tree than you can count at a gay pride parade!. No, I just thought I’d try it and see what it tastes like…

Here…let me show you something. Check this out:

Gay Republicans come out of the closet

This is the funniest article I’ve read in months. This is a piece written about a gay couple in South Carolina who’s “coming out of the ‘Gay Closet’ and hoping the South Carolina GOP will be welcoming them with open arms.

The article is all about the GOP is being shunned in every aspect of America society. Concerned, more and more Republican gay and lesbian people are joining the Log Cabin Republicans: “Because they’re worried about the party extinction”. I’m paraphrasing, I know. Go ahead and read it yourself. But the real gem is on the third page.

The conversation revolves around this one (minor) hope in the link between Rudy Giulinani and the LCR’s. Guiliani of course, hangs with the Manhattan queens in between marriages, and his very weird attraction for going out in drag. Noel Freeman out of the Houston (Texas) Chapter finds comfort in Giuliani:

“I think it is refreshing to see a prominent Republican who is supportive of our issues doing so well,” said Noel Freeman, who is head of Log Cabin’s Houston chapter.

Gay Republican activists say the party needs to expand its base if it wants to remain relevant by shedding its anti-abortion and anti-gay rights platforms and aiming for the political center on social issues.

But then Freeman drops the bomb on page 3 and I think it’s not only an accurate statement, but a very funny one too:

“I’m afraid that the Republican Party is going to make itself so pure that it will be able to meet in a phone booth,” said Freeman.

LOL! They’re comin’ to the Twin Cities next year to hang out in our PHONE BOOTHS! ALL SEVEN OF THEM!

Oh dear, I just think that’s too funny… Who needs the Xcel Energy center when you can rent a couple of telephone booths and your delegates and call in their votes with a quarter?

…And for a political party who’s idolatry involves capitalism and Mens Restrooms, you’d think they would be looking for voters to buy into their greed and their wars. No. They’re chasing them away. Check out their Great White Princess, Ann Coulter. At 46, she’s the only one who thinks she’s attracting votes with a micro-mini and a mouth that could suck the chrome off a trailer-hitch. We’re seriously running out of groups she hasn’t vented on either. Let’s see; there are the 911 widows, women’s suffrage in general (Coulter doesn’t think women are smart enough to vote) and her newest group: The Jews. Coulter thinks Jews need to be “perfected“. Now that Ann Coulter is sounding an aweful lot like Joseph Goebbels, she is no friend to the GOP. And yet they can’t help but buy her books and give her air-time just to watch her do her best hair-flip.

I’m sorry. I’m being rude. Can I get you some coffee? Tea? Coffee?! Oh good! I have a fresh brew of some of Starbucks beans. I’ll be right back…

…So if they’re not pissing off the Jews, women and the 9-11 widows, who’s next?!! Sugar or cream?! They’ll focus on the Asian Americans of course! Michelle Malkin, a Filipino-American and über-conservative herself, runs out and says…

 

“Hillary campaign contributors” who were “smellier than stinky tofu.”

Honestly: How much hypocrisy are the American voter expected to buy from these … people? Malkin goes on a rant on the topic in her piece entitled:

Spanking Asian-American grievance-mongers again

…where she says:

“If it’s ‘ethnic profiling’ to be extra-careful of Chinatown donors who can’t speak English, live in dilapidated buildings, have never voted, can’t tell Hillary Clinton from Hunan Chicken or simply can’t be found, then ‘ethnic profiling’ should be the standard procedure of every responsible campaign.”

Malkin played her Hypocrite card with that one. She must have been “feeling” her groove while she was out on that field trip visiting the Frost family and terrorizing their neighborhood. Putting the kibosh on the SCHIP for families who can’t afford health insurance for their kids was a HUGE coup d’état for the GOP. Malkin terrorizing the Frost family drew the largest applause from Ebeneezer Scrooge, Blue Cross/Blue Shield and Elphaba Thropp. Her latest in spoofing the Asian-American community by declaring their incompetence proved her willingness to be nothing but a three-dollar whore for the Hate-Party of the GOP.

The GOP’s hatred of children isn’t lost on some “poor” little brats either. Locally here in Minnesota, former state representative Phil Krinkie (now chairman of the Minnesota Tax Payer League) is calling to jettison mentally handicapped and physically challenged children from our local school districts. He thinks they should be shunted into isolated “special schools” where it’ll be easier to defund their education and leave those kids to get their education behind their neighbor’s garbage cans. Krinkie also wants class sizes expanded to 200 to 300 students per class because it more “closely reflects what college life would be like.” (Watch the video here.) Funny, don’t you think? Phil Krinkie wants class sizes at 300 students, but there’s no talk about school teachers getting professor-sized salaries.

And the in-fighting within the party ranks is both witty and delightful. The James Dobson crowd has all but bailed on the entire GOP ticket. The Evangelicals have declared a military junta against the GOP if Giuliani or Romney win the nomination. Holding a debate at a predominantly African-American university, the GOP’s top four most popular candidates simply failed to show up, snubbing the entire African-American community. Their wanna-be website “Redstate” was created to look like the progressive/liberals DailyKos site: a one-stop shopping experience for everything conservative, political and Whitey. They decided to kick out their members who are excited about Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul.

“Effective immediately, new users may *not* shill for Ron Paul in any way shape, form or fashion. Not in comments, not in diaries, nada. If your account is less than 6 months old, you can talk about something else, you can participate in the other threads and be your zany libertarian self all you want, but you cannot pimp Ron Paul. Those with accounts more than six months old may proceed as normal.”

Can we scratch off any expectations that Ron Paul supporters will be showing up in Minneapolis/St Paul next year? We’ve already scratched off the Asians, the Jews, African-Americans, Evangelical Christians and women (especially the 9-11 Widows). OH! I forgot: ..and every American voter making less than $80,000 annually who have children and can’t afford health insurance.

Then there are the parents who have children who are handicapped and any parents who appreciate small class sizes.

To be fair to the Gestapo good folks over a Redstate, they have rescinded the ban on Ron Paul supporters. Andrew Sullivan opened his site on The Dish for the little jihadist geeks to gush over their favorite on his site and Redstate took an offense to it. Andrew Sullivan is gay you see…And well…Redstate well, we all know what Republicans thing about The Gays. But in the meantime; we can all THANK GOD for the Log Cabin Republicans are worried about the extinction of the GOP!! Can you think of anybody else that are worried?

We’re now thinking the 2008 Republican Convention campaign is going to be nothing but a KKK rally high on Red Bull.

Their fighting within the political ranks are becoming more apparent as well as within their own blogospheres. It’s almost like watching championship Halo III tournaments in slow-mo.

Late September, the National Republican Campaign Committee chair Tom Cole (R-OK) was threatening to resign. If he did, then John Boehner (R-OH) was going to have the two most senior positions fired immediately. It’s right here – check it out:

In a recent meeting in the minority leader’s office, Boehner told Cole that he was displeased at how the NRCC is being run. Republican sources say Boehner wants to replace Pete Kirkham, the NRCC’s executive director, and Terry Carmack, its political director, with more “aggressive” people with a more “realistic” view on next year’s elections, sources said.

But that wasn’t the end of the story. After Boehner slaps Cole around like a butcher with a slab of beef, Cole starts yelling at his employees in German saying…here…right here:

After the meeting, an angry Cole called together the NRCC staff and told them [in perfect German] that if they were not happy working at the committee, they might want to consider leaving immediately, said several GOP insiders. That Cole outburst occurred last Monday, said the sources.

But the fight going on isn’t with staffing and leadership at all. The real in-fighting is coming out of a really stressed out Republican party. Because all you have to do is let your be-jeweled finger scroll down the piece and find the magic bullet …there:

The NRCC has raised $34.6 million this cycle, compared with $43.6 million by the DCCC, although the big difference is cash-on-hand, where Democrats have a huge advantage: $22 million in cash, compared with the NRCC’s $1.6 million.

The NRCC also has $4 million in outstanding debt left over from the 2005-06 cycle, down from nearly $11 million at the beginning of the year, according to its latest filing with the Federal Election Commission. The Democrats’ debt is $3.1 million.

Now that I’m thinking about it, let me call St Paul mayor Chris Coleman and make sure these itchy Republican parasites have enough to pay for their GOP Presidential campaign election!

They’ve already begun to eat their own. Larry Craig wanted to attend a GOP NRSC fundraiser in the sunshiny resort area of Sea Island, GA. NRSC staffers had to call Craig’s office to let him know that he wasn’t invited even though he circled “YES” on the RSVP. The NRSC chair, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) has been blasting Craig’s behavior and everybody realizes that the Party Pervert is a huge drag on fund-raising.

Look, it’s like Martin Niemoeller said:

In Germany they came first for the commmunists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Niemoeller was wrong. You’ll always have Noel Freeman and a handful of Log Cabin Republicans who’ll speak up for you. They’ll go to any mile, any length to save the GOP. The more the GOP hates them, the greater the appeal. And when everybody in America hates these GOP parasites, they’ll always have the gays and lesbians who’ll worry about them.

Are you sure about that soup? I can get you a cup if you’d prefer. Do you want to take some home with you? I can get a “go cup” and you can just heat it up in the microwave. How about some Lox?!