The Great Minnesota State Fair: Coming Soon!

For those of you who aren’t so privileged to live in Minnesota, we have the largest State Fair in the country next to the Texas State Fair. If I recall, the Texas State Fair is “bigger” based on geographical size, while Minnesota’s State Fair is the largest based on Visiting/Attendees. However, I could be wrong and the complete opposite of those two could also be true.

So, let’s look at some State Fair Poster Art that was rejected this year, shall we?
fair artworkmichele fairOoooh…who can forget that toothy grin of Rep Bachmann?! That’s what happens in Minnesota when you hate the gays: You’re sentenced to wear a pancake-on-a-stick on your head and you have to dye the hair on your chest lime-green.

How about the food?!  Here are some new suggestions!

fair baked dogLower in trans-fat, the baked corn-dog shows great promise!

fair fried zucchiniSomething those California Hippies are serving in their State Fair:  the Zucchini stuffed dog!

fair potato dogWell, it’s not only kinky, but it’s  delicous too!

Well, I can’t wait!  When the State Fair rolls around, it means all of the screaming kids in our neighborhood will soon be heading back to school and I can finally get my afternoon naps back.  Meanwhile, PASS THE KETCHUP!  LET’S EAT!

Health Care Reform: Tweet Your Senator, Now!

President Barack Obama’s 140-character message just broadcasted this little gem:

Are you calling & writing members of congress re: health insurance reform? Now you can tweet them too: http://bit.ly/vIe0J

The link brings you to a very cool animated web-page that pops-up all of the people who are also Tweeting their Senator for health care reform.  If you put in your zip code, it’ll automate a script sent directly to Al Franken and/or Amy Klobuchar.  (…whoever those two people are, I dunno…)

I took a great delight in Tweeting Al Franken about 900 million times with my zip code in here in the western-burbs of Minneapolis..  Poor guy, his email is going to be jammed tomorro…Oh wait!  Al Franken doesn’t seem to have a Twitter account!  I just sent 900 million empty-Tweets!

Give it a try – it’s a hoot!

Brass Rail Lounge Won’t Open Until Labor Day

Peter Hafiz must be pulling his hair out by now and the City of Minneapolis isn’t helping. By my calendar, the earliest he’s going to be able to open the Brass Rail Lounge will be September 1st.

In early May, he told me he had plans to open June 19th, provided the City signed off on his liquor license. He was hoping for a big Doo-Rah in time for Gay Pride 2009 at the end of the month. That was really quick, beings the personal tour he gave me and my fellow bartenders, the restrooms in the back were totally gutted.

Gay Pride 2009 came and went. He told me and my husband life-partner, and our friends on Gay Pride Sunday that he had hopes to open July 15th. His words; “…Hopefully by mid-July, the first of August at the latest.” Again, the conversation rotated on whether the City Council would sign his liquor license or not.

Since the City only deals with licensing issues on the third week of the month, he’s lost the window for that early August opening. From last Wednesday’s City Council meetings:

1. License Applications:

Grant Licenses recommended for approval.

(See separate Licenses Agenda – Not available in electronic format)

Action Taken: Approved.

2. Centre Village Shop (700 5th Av S):

Approve License Settlement Conference recommendations relating to Off-Sale Beer License.

Staff report: Centre Village Shop LSC

Action Taken: Approved.

3. Stub & Herbs (227 Oak St SE):

Approve License Settlement Conference recommendations relating to On-Sale Liquor Class C-1 with Sunday Sales License.

Staff report: Stub and Herbs LSC

Action Taken: Approved.

4. Zipp’s Liquor (2618 E Franklin Av):

Approve License Settlement Conference recommendations relating to Off-Sale Liquor License.

Staff report: Zipps Liquor LSC

Action Taken: Approved.

As you can see, Centre Village, Stub & Herbs and Zipp’s Liquor were the lucky few that managed to get their license signed off. That being said, the city won’t re-adress the licensing issue until the third week of August.

In my email this morning from a fellow-bartender, Peter Hafiz emailed him saying this:

From: Peter Hafiz <XXXX@yahoo.com>
Date: July 24, 2009 9:22:11 PM CDT
To: Brad XXXX <XXXX@blahblah.com>
Subject: Re: Checking in…..

Hey Brad nice hearing from you again, were hoping for a Quick signing from the city, which means in about 3 to 4 weeks, as you may know we went ahead and renovated the bathrooms which are taking some time, so keep in touch,
Thanks,Peter

Work your index finger on your Gregorian calendar and that coincides with the first of September.

The GOP: It’s the Fornicators’ Party! Get Your STD’s There!!

I Corinthians 6:18:

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Wow!  Is this the Year of the Fornicator or what?!!  Can anybody find me an elected Republican that isn’t schtooping out on their wives?!  This one is State Senator Paul Stanely from Tennessee: Proud defender of “Hate the Homos, Love the Sanctity of Marriage”.
fruitfly21Author of the state’s best anti-gay adoption laws, Stanley drafted a bill that would require parents wishing to adopt to be married.  Get it?

“If we have a state constitutional amendment declaring hetero-sex marriage only…His law would ban gay adoption by proxy!”

Check out this “Fornicator“:

“Unfortunately, I am the victim and a witness to a crime in an ongoing investigation. At this time, I have been advised by authorities and the District Attorney’s office not to comment. There is already misinformation being inferred regarding this matter which I look forward to clearing up at the appropriate time,” Stanley said in a statement.

Yeah, he’s a victim… Oh Dear God in Heaven..

“A Victim of what, Fruit?!  What’s he complain’ about?”

I’m thrilled you asked:

Today, we learned that Stanley was the victim of an extortion attempt by the boyfriend of a women, a legislative intern, who is alleged to have had a sexual relationship with the Senator. The relationship has not been proven, of course, and the Senator has not confessed — but he hasn’t denied a relationship either.

Instead he has hid behind the TBI investigation to avoid saying anything one way or another.

Nice, huh? Once again we find a Republican with a wardrobe malfunction: He can’t keep his trousers zipped up!

…And he claims that he’s a victim.   Could the legislative aide be a victim?  Do you think her boyfriend felt a little violated himself?   Aren’t there sexual harassment laws in Tennessee that ban this kind of conduct?

What’s fascinating is Stanley’s argument for his failed “pseudo-Adoption Bill” in Tennessee.  He explains the marriage requirement before they can adopt this way:

“Our responsibility is to put these children in the best homes in the ideal environment. It’s not always the perfect environment. The ideal environment is a married couple that are able to bring them up in a great home life. And, if they’re not married, a lot of times there’s just not the commitment to one another. Now, there’s exceptions to that as there is a lot of things, but over the course a lot of relationships, that’s definitely the case.”

What kind of “ideal environment” would this Senator make if he had adopted children?!

FruitFly 6I’m just wondering how many of these  “Morality Police Officers” running around in our sacred halls of government are carrying around venereal diseases, herpes blisters and AIDS viruses?  How many of them are giving their wives The Clap and shelling out more parasitic crabs than a Red Lobster franchise? These guys are always bragging about those “Good Family Values” and this is how they demonstrate them?!

h/t Joe.My.God

Caribou Barbie Caught Looting!

Here’s a trophy governor for ya!fruitfly21

The Associated Press is reporting that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who is to resign Sunday, may have violated ethics rules by accepting donations to rebut several ethics complaints.

AP writes that a July 14 report by an investigator for the state Personnel Board alleges that Palin is securing unwarranted benefits and receiving improper gifts through the Alaska Fund Trust, set up by supporters.

The investigator says there is probable cause to believe Palin used or attempted to use her official position for personal gain because she authorized the creation of the trust as the “official” legal defense fund. Palin says she owes more than $500,000 in legal bills.

Maybe she’s talking the money because she needs new clothes! Maybe she’s taking that cash because her current hairdresser wasn’t nearly as good as the one the GOP hired for her!

The Wasilla Hillbillies are moving out of Alaska’s Governors mansion and I’m guessing they’ll take the furniture, the blinds, the rugs and the china with them. What isn’t nailed down, will be gone.

…They’ll leave the silverware because that needs polished once in a while. Besides, who needs to work when there’s more looting to be done?

Fox News re: Bowe Bergdahl: Save Us The Headache, Let The Taliban Kill Him

While admitting to not knowing all of the facts, Fox News political pundit Ralph Peters goes into full attack mode by accusing Private Bergdahl for everything including”colluding with the enemy” and “abandoning his post” (AWOL).  vomitAt the end, not willing to leave well enough alone, Peters makes his final point by saying the Taliban should save us the legal expenses and do us a favor (and execute him).

Keeping it classy, huh Fox?  You wave that Red, White and Blue flag that proudly?

There used to be something about “innocent until proven guilty”.  But that was old school.  Now, we’ve got Fox!

h/t From the Left

My Tweeting Around

I opened a Twitter account under the name Fruit_F_Fly.  I’m enjoying it, I think.  It’s kinda fun.  You get to feel like you’re Jesus Christ and other Twitterers follow you around like they’re your desciples.  I just got a note saying Michele Bachmann is one of my “desciples” now.  Wretched thing.  Now she’s going to be my Judas Iscariot.

I should just blast her for the lying that she’s been sayin’ lately.  If I called her a bunch of nasty names publically, I’ll bet she’ll quit following me faster than Palin can pack up Grandma on the Model T and drive away from the  governors mansion.

My Twittering can be seen on the right-hand column just below the Calender.  Now I feel like I’m talking in cyber-stereo or something!