What’s your Christmas tradition?

Perhaps the better question might be: “What really weird thing does your family do for Christmas?” Something that’s just plain odd.

We have a “vagrant” joining us for Christmas Eve for our personal Christmas. My husband life-partner Bruce, was against the “invasion”, jealously wishing we could be by ourselves. Jim, our good friend, is all alone this year with his ‘Rents in Florida and his siblings in Michigan. His usual haunt is to be with another group of friends who throw a huge dinner party (it’s all very gay of course) . There’s usually about six courses in the entire meal and Jim’s tired of all that.

“It’s boring!” he whines. “I only know two people and that’s it! I don’t want to hang around with people I don’t even know. I end up sitting by myself working on how many knuckles I can fit up my nose with one finger! And besides, the last three years they’ve had str8 people there. It’s ridiculous! Who wants to chat with some str8 girl and listen to her talking about her fucking kids and how well soccer practice went last Thursday.”

My husband life-partner and I just listen with polite smiles on our face. Until this year, Jim went on his own micro-sized war on Christmas by declaring that he wasn’t going to this party anymore.

“Screw it!” he said sometime last month over beer at Dan Kellys in downtown Minneapolis. “I’m not going this year and I told them. I’m just over it…”

But over the course of time, he started hinting that we should invite him to join the two of us.

“What are you two doing?!” He’d say.

“Well” I said. “Like always, I’m home alone on Christmas Eve because my family are all insane. Bruce goes with his family and I don’t go to that. On Christmas Day, we have our private Christmas time typically in the morning and then we split up and go to our families and have Christmas with them.”

“I’m not exactly interested this year, either.” I went on. “I’d like to beat the crap out of my jerk-wad of a brother and the only reason I go is for the sake of my ‘Rents.”

Jim gets this pleading look in his eye and mutters. “Well…I’m not doing anything.” and begins peeling off the label on his beer bottle.

Bruce and and I both felt a little bad for him. Jim has battled cancer for over a year now and his radiation therapy has made him a little bit depressed lately. (He’s winning, by the way! He has to take these x-rays every so many months, but by in large…he’s winning!) On the other hand, it’s really his own thing to simply hang out at the dinner party he’s always attended. I mean, sometimes str8 people can be rather annoying. But, what he’s doing certainly won’t solve much.

Overtime, Bruce finally breaks down and says; “I suppose we should have Jim over for our Christmas this year. I mean…well. I guess we should.”  Bruce is sweet in that way.  Unfortunately for all of you, he’s married partnered and I’m horribly selfish.

Coincidentally, Jim calls the next day and wants to meet at TGI Friday’s over here on I-394 in Golden Valley. My mind when into over-drive thinking: “From Jim’s point of view… how weird can we be for a definition of a Christmas tradition?”

He wouldn’t know…what exactly what he’s getting into, you know? It’s the old adage: “Be careful what you wish for…you might just get it.” We could do freaky stuff like swing from the chandelier in our skivvies with lemon-wedges under our lips. How could he anticipate that?

Bruce swung by and picked me up and we headed on over to TGI Fridays. This mental image forming in my brain…

Arriving, we take off our coats and hats and settle into the booth where Jim was already seated. A half-empty beer bottle with some of the label peeled off in front of him. He even smelled lonely.

Bruce went first by saying:

“Well, we talked about it and we’ve decided that we’d love it if you’d join us for our personal Christmas on Christmas Eve.”

Jim lit up like a giant sized Christmas tree trimmed by RuPaul. He beamed, literally. He had that look you’d imagine Lindsey Lohan would have when she drunkenly stumbles into a mirror, a straw and a 36″ line of cocaine.

I took my chance…

Ya know Jim. Everybody has their traditions around the Holiday Season. Bruce and I aren’t any different. And since you’ll be joining us this year, you might like to know what we do.

You see, every Christmas, when we’re ready to open presents, both of us take off all of our clothes and get completely naked. Bruce here, has his special Christmas sock-puppet. And he puts it on his penis and he tells me a Christmas story with…the puppet! And you know, every year, I never guess the ending..it’s always a surprise!

And then I climbed up on the table and leer over onto his side and stare at his crotch real quick and then look at him in the eye with a very weird look look of anticipation on my face and said;

We’re really looking forward to havin’ you join us this year, Buddy…

Jim’s in hysterics and says: “Oh my…Well! One can only imagine the fun you two have on New Years!”

There’ll be a crock-pot full of apple cider with a few sticks of cinnamon on the buffet-table. I’ll have deviled eggs mixed with bacon and shredded cheese in the filling. There’ll be about nine very nice wedges of some fine cheeses. Loads of wine chilled out on the three-season porch and a six-pack of beer can be found in the snowbank outside the back door. Everywhere you look will be platters of home made cookies, candies and pumpkin muffins.

I’m making colossall shrimp scampi and red bell pepper over linguine and Schezuan green beans with toasted sesame seeds. Even the plates will look like Christmas wreaths and those little seeds will look like snowflakes! The house will smell of the cider and I’m making a garlic French baguette. (It’ll be very gay you understand.)

Streisand, Sinatra and Nat King Cole will be armed with their greatest Christmas cuts, digitally aimed at our ears. And we’ll have enough candles lit to land large passenger aircraft in-bound from the North Pole.

Desert is a simple ice-cream Yule log (just to make sure the Pagans won’t hate us too) and we’ll slurp on a couple of Nutty Irishmen for a nightcap before we head to Candle Light Services at Westminster at 10:00PM.

If you’re in the neighborhood, stop on by! We’d love to see you naked!

Ann Coulter ♥’s Mike Huckabee

It’s a Love Fest that knows no bounds with the Gee-o-Pee. This article, typical of Coulter, spins around how fabulous Coulter thinks she is and why she is truly God’s gift to all of humanity. She pontifications liberally about her brilliance and compares her first shitty book “Godless: The Church of Liberalism” as a piece for more intellectually thought than most any Ph.D. in mathetics, physics or any of the sciences. Put plainly, she sounds starved for attention.

Her views on Mike Huckabee is nothing more than a prop in adoration of herself. But, she griddles Huckabee for his views on everything on gay marriage to evolution. I wouldn’t recommend reading the article with out playing the Drinking Game with a bottle Ouzo: Every time she commends herself, follow Angus Young’s command to “Have a drink on me”.

But the best is Coulter’s last two lines:

Huckabee claims he opposes gay marriage and says Scalia is his favorite justice, but he supports a Supreme Court decision denounced by Scalia for paving the way to a “constitutional right” to gay marriage. I guess Huckabee is one of those pro-sodomy, pro-gay marriage, pro-evolution evangelical Christians.

No wonder Huckabee is the evangelical liberals like.

Now go ahead, read the entire article. Once you’ve finished, grabbed a bottle of Ouzo, click on Ann’s picture here and re-read the article and try out my new drinking game: Every time she compliments herself…Go ahead and have a drink on me.

“Suicide Watch” for the GOP has begun

Ouch!! Howie Klein speaks in volumes:

The Republican melee that will determine which one of the pathetic pygmies gets to ask Americans if they want a third term for George Bush has degenerated into a battle about religionism, a clear example of why the Republicans Party is destined to become a small, extremist regional political party for crackpots and loons. As ABC News reports today, “Religion is driving the Republican presidential race in Iowa, with Mike Huckabee taking the lead on the strength of overwhelming support from evangelical voters– and Mitt Romney falling behind over concerns about his Mormon faith.”

Think: “The opaque light-blue bug-shield on your Uncle’s Lincoln Continental”…

No one’s polling numbers will be impacted by racist xenophobe Tom Tancredo’s decision to withdraw from the race today after finding out that the one straw he was grasping at– and endorsement from psychotic Iowa Congressman Steve King (one of the only members of Congress as racist and bigoted as himself)– will not be forthcoming. The King endorsement was his entire Iowa game-plan– outside of the Know Nothing fear mongering. King endorsed another loser, who will also be withdrawing soon, the lazy old man with the devastatingly ambitious young wife, Fred Thompson. As for Ron Paul, the candidate of UFO enthusiasts, the KKK, neo-fascists and conspiracy nuts, he’s made a big decision– he’s keeping the $500 donation from neo-Nazi Stormfront founder Don Black whose motto is “White Pride World Wide.” Catchy. Even some of the most extreme of the far right kooks and loons think Ron Paul is off his rocker and feel uncomfortable that the Republican Party is being publicly identified with Nazis.

Sam Kinison would be proud.

Need We Say More…

They’ll be here in Minneapolis/St Paul in less than a year.

…And the stench is expected to remain for decades.

The Huckabees: Crimes of the Son, Cover-ups of the Father

The story of Mike Huckabee’s youngest is snowballing into a collision course faster than the “No Smoking” sign was extinguished on the Hindenburg. As we learn more and more details about the incident, the story has become so grotesque, that the attempts to cover it all up appears like a pair of headlights for a horrible embarrassment.

Michael Isikoff and Holly Bailey of Newsweek magazine have a detailed story in the upcoming Christmas Eve issue and it doesn’t look good for anybody involved, especially for a Presidential Candidate like Republican Governor Mike Huckabee.

Once the camp had discovered what the boys had done, an anonymous was faxed to Animal Legal Defense Fund. (Kinky Friedman’s Utopia Rescue has the original Action Alert bulletin here.) The Director of the Anti-Cruelty division of the Animal Legal Defense Fund fired a letter of to the Chief Scout Executive, Jere Radcliff complaining about the boy’s behavior and pleaded for justice on behalf of the tortured and eventual murder of the animal. Pamela Frasch, an attorney wrote:

It has come to my attention that David Huckabee and Clayton Friday, two scout counselors, have admitted to the brutal killing of a stray dog at Camp Pioeneer on 7/11/98 and have been protected by the Caddo Area Council as well as Camp Pioneer authorities. The two boys allegedly hung a dog by his/her neck, throwing the body over a railing to a twenty foot drop. After realizing that this did not kill the dog, they slit his/her throat and stoned the dog to death. These disturbing events should have been reported immediately to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office, where a complete investigation of this horrific crime should have taken place. It is my understanding that the boys lost their jobs, which is hardly acceptable punishment for the committing of a violent crime. And it is especially unbelievable that this could happen at a Boys Scout Camp, where young men are supposed to be taught respect and kindness towards the natural world an all its inhabitants. That dog suffered an enormous amount of pain and suffering, and eventual death at the hands of these two youths. This unspeakable, and legal act can not be dismissed with a “boys will be boys’ adage or as anything less than the malicious crime tha ti so understandibly is.

The Isikoff/Bailey story notes that the Arkansas State Police headquarters was bombarded by animal rights groups everywhere demanding an immediate investigation. (Animal Cruelty at best, is a misdemeanor in Arkansas. In a state where marrying your sister will get you a gallon of moonshine and a pair of shoes, it’s no surprise.) The investigation was never launched by state police. However, the director of the state police told Newsweek that:

Governor Huckabee’s chief of staff and personal lawyer both leaned on him to write a letter officially denying the local prosecutor’s request. Bailey, a career officer who had been appointed chief by Huckabee’s Democratic predecessor, said he viewed the lawyer’s intervention as improper and terminated the conversation.

Huckabee and his chief of staff obviously disagree with this part of the story. Especially when:

Seven months later, he was called into Huckabee’s office and fired. “I’ve lost confidence in your ability to do your job,” Bailey says Huckabee told him. One reason Huckabee cited was “I couldn’t get you to help me with my son when I had that problem,” according to Bailey.

The FBI steps up to the plate in defense of Bailey:

“Without question, [Huckabee] was making a conscious attempt to keep the state police from investigating his son,” says I. C. Smith, the former FBI chief in Little Rock, who worked closely with Bailey and called him a “courageous” and “very solid” professional.

Huckabee thinks this is all bullshit by saying:

Huckabee called Bailey’s account “totally untrue” and described him as a “bitter” exemployee. “I asked him to resign because he had so alienated the entire state police,” he said. “It had nothing to do with my son.”

Yeah right. Baily was appointed by the Huckabee’s Democratic predecessor, so it’s because he was a Democrat that made him “bitter”?! But if the FBI is agreeing with the State Police director, Huckabee is the one with the credibility problem of the story. It gets worse for Huckabee’s account when his own staff jump into the story with:

Brenda Turner, Huckabee’s then chief of staff, and Kevin Crass, the Huckabee family lawyer, also disputed Bailey’s account, although both acknowledged talking to him about the dog killing. “I asked him, ‘Is it normal for the state police to … investigate something that happened at a Boy Scout camp?’ ” Turner says. “We wanted the same treatment that anybody else would get.”

And the treatment David Huckabee received?! He was later promoted to Eagle Scout! This story stinks to high heaven and makes a body just want to weep.

Dogs are pack animals. And they identify with their pack-mates solely for survivability. All dogs identify with their human counter-parts as being part of their own pack. This dog’s innocence in hoping to find a pack ended up in hanging, torture and eventual death. All so a Governor’s son could find a few minutes of “entertainment”.

Typical for the Republican Party, nothing is leveled against this boy’s horrific behavior and his high-profile Republican father dismisses it with:

…that his son did not engage in “intentional torture.” “There was a dog that apparently had mange and was absolutely, I guess, emaciated.”

Excellent excuse for a man who’s completely out of touch. If he’s out of touch with his son’s behavior and the brutality of his actions, then he’s out of touch with what’s going on in the world.

Let’s not forget that David Huckabee was 17 years old at the time. Four years later, David Huckabee ends up bullying his way around Jonesboro, AR in front of city employees for paying a required fine for two businesses on campus. This brutal behavior is more than a deep psychological problem that needs to be addressed. Let’s also remember that in 2007, Huckabee once again shows his apathy for others by showing up with a loaded Glock at the Little Rock airport attempting to casually walk through the screening metal detectors. This young man is a disaster waiting to happen. And while Daddy makes up excuses for his behavior, the rest of us should be very scared of both of them.

Found under the Christmas tree

Stop Big Media

Crooks and Liars has a really cool video about the FCC’s attempt to “Super Size” media. It’s well worth the look-see. It’s a product out of stopbigmedia.com.

It’s an extremely important issue that media isn’t discussing at all.

Good Search

There’s a cool new way to surf the ‘Net, especially if you’re an animal lover. GoodSearch is a non-profit using Yahoo as its search-engine. Every time you use it, $.10 goes to charity. It’s quick and complete and customizable for your Internet Explorer or your Firefox. Macintosh geeks aren’t left out either! Use it and make your own charitable donations.

Cindy Sheehan has re-appeared

In Minnesota there’s a saying: “Little flakes, big snow.” Welcome to “little flakes“:

Washington Post reported last week that in September 2002, four members of Congress met in secret for a first look at a unique CIA program designed to wring vital information from reticent terrorism suspects in U.S. custody. For more than an hour, the bipartisan group, which included current House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Democrat Rep. Jane Harman…

Well, Sheehan’s not happy about it and she’s now calling for impeaching Nancy Pilosi:

“Even before becoming Speaker of the House of Representative, she said that impeachment of Bush is out of question. She should be impeached for knowing about torture which dehumanize us all.”

Huckabee look familiar to you?

Here at Fruit Fly Central, we had to take a second look and Huckabee could weirdly look like an fraternal twin of another very famous Republican crook.

Redstate geeks running around, stupidly paranoid

I’m going to cut-n-paste the first few sentences… You’ll see what I mean – Oh.. just read:

Prof. Douglas Kmiec suggests that Hillary Clinton, if elected, could have her husband follow the footsteps of former President Taft by appointing him to the Supreme Court.

Please guys, take a deep breath. You right-wingers are weirdly über-obsessed with Hillary Clinton as a president. Speculating that she’d just throw Bill in as her first pick for US Supreme Court Justice makes you all seem petty and a wee bit stupid. Just a tiny wee.

They continue on:

Taft was, in fact, a very good Chief Justice after being a failure as President, a job for which he never had the talent or desire.

Prof. Kmiec gets right some of the obvious problems with this parallel: Clinton, unlike Taft, has no prior judicial experience and loves politics much more than the law; Clinton, unlike Taft, would presumably not be taking the Chief Justice job; and Taft, unlike Clinton, never had his law license suspended for perjury in a judicial proceeding.

Now; I’m not an English professor: here; but, I think; that last paragraph, might be the longest: run-on sentence I’ve read in decades; let alone, not making any sense: whatsoever.

Colorado kicks out E-Voting Machines

And it’s a Republican who’s deciding:

Colorado’s Republican Secretary of State, Mike Coffman, has announced that a number of Colorado’s e-voting machines have failed state certification testings, and will not be allowed for use in the 2008 election cycle. The announcements came at a news conference in Denver which completely just minutes ago.

Does anybody remember when Walden O’Dell, CEO of Diebold, told a bunch of Republicans in 2003 that he was: “committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year (with is own electronic voting machines)”? Quite a lot of wasted time and money spent, ya think?

BradBlog notes: All Voting Systems by ES&S Completely Decertified; DRE Touch-Screens from Sequoia Banned; Optical-Scan Paper Systems by Hart InterCivic Banned; All Systems by Diebold/Premier Conditionally ALLOWED for Use!

Oops. Nevermind!

Traitors From Within II

I love Bartcop. And then once in a while, I really love Bartcop. Whoever the hell Gerry Fern is, I don’t know. But it’s one hell of a great rant.

<snip>

For six years you just coasted along as the minority party, nothing you could do about anything. Racist judges, you can’t stop them. Inept diplomats, you tried but could not stop them. Suspension of Habeas Corpus, hey most people do not even have an idea what that is. We get a free pass.

Now you are in the majority but Congress is still in control of the minority, because you need a majority of 60 in the Senate. What a farce? What a horrible joke you are playing on millions of people that went out and voted for you and though we might actually see the light at the end of a very long dark tunnel for our country and us. But, OH, that is right you got the big new offices, chairmanships, staff, and private jets. So many new toys you have not yet had time to attend to the business of the people. After all, we are just people, not important millionaires like you folks with important positions.

You have forgotten your oath of office. Your primary responsibility; to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States and its laws. This is not an option, it’s your responsibility. Never mind the promises that you made to us that you will never keep. Caving in again on Iraq war funding, oh really what a surprise? If you see wrongdoing, it is not an option, you have an obligation to investigate and if necessary impeach. Our administration at this point should be impeached and turned over to The Hague for criminal prosecution for crimes against humanity including US citizens. But we would never expect you to do that much. Impeachment would be fine. But you are not willing to that either. You are simply happy shrink from your responsibilities.

That is not acceptable by any standard. If you are not willing to carry out your constitutionally mandated duties you should resign. And for the sake of the country you profess to love, RESIGN NOW.

<unsnip>

The emphasis are all mine. The grammar might be rough, but the passion shines through like a beacon on a dark and foggy night! I highly recommend reading the entire rant.

“Mutiny” has appeared from the foundation of the US Military

via Daily Kos.

This is extremely disturbing. This speaks volumes of what’s going on with our troops over there in Iraq. This should never happen. From the Army Times:

“They called it an act of mutiny,” Cardenas said, still enraged that the men he considered heroes were, in his mind, slandered. “The sergeant major and the battalion commander said we were unprofessional. They said they were disappointed in us and would never forget our actions for the rest of their lives.”

But no judicial action ever came of it.

“Captain Strickland read us our rights,” DeNardi said. “We had 15 yes-or-no questions, and no matter how you answered them, it looked like you disobeyed an order. No one asked what happened. And there’s no record — no article 15. Nothing to show it happened.”

After the members of 2nd Platoon had spent a year fighting for each other and watching their buddies die, battalion leaders began breaking up the platoon. Seven noncommissioned officers were told they were being relieved for cause and moved out of the unit. Three noncommissioned officers stayed at Old Mod. Two, including Sgt. Derrick Jorcke, would remain in Iraq for one month after 2nd Platoon went home in October because they had been moved to different battalions in different areas of Iraq.

“In a way, they were put someplace where they wouldn’t have to go out again,” Johnson said. “But as an NCO, they took these guys’ leaders away and put them with people they didn’t know and trust. You knew 2nd Platoon would die for you without a second’s hesitation. That’s what made them so great. These guys need each other.”

Then, they were all flagged: No promotions. No awards. No favorable actions.

“We had PFCs miss [promotion to] specialist for two months,” DeNardi said. “Bronze Stars and [Army Commendation Medals] were put on hold. You’re talking about heroes like Cardenas. These are guys who save lives and they can’t get awards.”

“I didn’t want to punish them,” Strickland said. “I understood what was going on. But they had to understand you couldn’t do something like that and have nothing happen.”

And things could not continue as they had. Strickland could not operate for three more months with a platoon that refused to go out.

“Within the company, we made some adjustments,” Strickland said. “They needed a fresh start. After looking into it, I didn’t feel the need to punish anybody.” However, he left the flags in place.

“If anything was going to be punishment, that was it,” he said. For at least one soldier, that meant going through a promotion board again. Jorcke lost his promotion table status, but Strickland signed a memo re-establishing it. “I’ve tried to fix those issues. Almost everybody else has been promoted except one guy.” Jorcke made his E-6 on Nov. 1.

Even after the “mutiny,” Strickland said, he had a great deal of admiration for his soldiers.

“I understood why they did what they did,” he said. “Some of the NCOs, I was disappointed in them because they failed to lead their soldiers through difficult times. They let their soldiers influence their decisions. But on a personal level, I applauded their decision because they stood behind their soldiers. I was disappointed, but I thought they had great courage. It was truly a Jekyll/Hyde moment for me.”

And though they were horrified at being torn away from each other, the soldiers themselves were conflicted about the outcome.

“For us being disbanded, now we definitely had unfinished business,” Jorcke said. “If we’d cleared Adhamiya, we could have said, ‘I left Iraq and my buddies didn’t die in vain.

“But in a way, the disbanding was good,” he said. “We — what was left of the platoon — got to come back home alive.”

While the Republicans and Democrats like Senator Amy Klobuchar vote to continue to fund this war and to extend their tours of duty – more of these stories will be leaking out.

What’s it going to take to end this war?!

Why are we still living in a country where our government refuses to listen to us?!

Redstate revolts over Huckabee

Conservative nut-jobs are revolting over the newly discovered Mike Huckabee. “I’d rather vote for Hillary than vote for Huckabee” is the new mantra over at Redstate.

Not that what one blogger thinks matters that much, but if Huckabee gets the nomination, I’m voting Democratic. It’s not just an idle threat; I just won’t vote for him and in fact won’t even vote third party or stay home. I’ll vote for the Democratic candidate, even Hillary.

The Republicans are in so much trouble this time around. Conservative evangelical leader Bob Jones stupidly threw his endorsement to Mitt Romney even though he thinks the Mormon faith is a cult. Now that Huckleberry Hound is “popular”, the Bob Jones crowed are Splitsville. Since the Konservative Khristian Kommunity is getting the jitters over Huck like he’s a shiny new coin, they’re splitting the rest of the GOP.

Meanwhile Huck hasn’t learned his P’s and Q’s as a Republican politician:

• Rule #1: Never..NEVER say anything bad against another Republican.
• Rule #2: Never speak ill of the Bush Crime family.

Yesterday, CNN reported Huck to say about King George:

Republican Mike Huckabee is questioning the Bush administration’s policy on Iraq, criticizing what he calls the White House’s “arrogant bunker mentality.”

tsk tsk tsk…Naughty Naughty! Next thing we’ll hear is Huckleberry being fitted for a brand-new pair of cement shoes!!

Today, Romney on MTP said of Huckleberry’s harsh words against der Führer:

That’s an insult to the president, and Mike Huckabee should apologize to the president.

The guy from Redstate goes on:

If we’re going to have eight years of liberal rule, I’d rather the Democratic Party be governing, so at least they can take the blame.

And, quite frankly, Hillary is to the right of Huckabee on most issues, if only because she’s politically afraid to do the kind of crap Huckabee does and dream of doing at night. She couldn’t afford to be as soft as Iran as Huckabee would.

And I don’t think I’m alone on this.

Nice, huh?!

Some other Wing-Nut adds his own thoughts to the GOP v Huckabee disaster.

I am done voting for Republicans who don’t represent what I believe in, low taxes and small government. Frankly, I think Huckabee just might be worse than Hillary on that score and if we have a Republican President advocating the above and the foreign policy stuff Ace lays out below – I will not enable it.

Hark! I hear the bugles playing..! Wha? What’s that song they’re playing??! It’s Taps!!

David Huckabee: Is he gay or just a sleazy “businessman”?

Dear God… It’s a Sleazy Family Christmas for the Huckleberry Hound family. The more we look at these Arkansas hillbillies, the more tawdry and pathetic they appear. That’s “Super Chunk” David in the middle. That’s his sister on his left and his other brother “Mega Chunk” John Mark (who’s middle name is “Matthew Luke”). Dave here seems to be nothing more than a giant sized asshole who’s never seen an empty can of Slim Fast.

Yeah I can tell. You’re thinking exactly what I’m thinking: “The verticle stripes are so slimming!!” Or were you noticing the deer-hunting outfits the girls are wearing?!

My husband life-partner said when he saw the picture: “Dear God, we need the ASPCA to rescue that dog!”

Cheezus… Those boys never played a friendly game of Candyland when they were little….They ate it!

In April 2007, David walks into the Little Rock airport packing a loaded Glock (and forty-two dozen Hostess Ho-Ho’s) stuffed in his carry-on baggage. Once the X-Ray machine alerted the TSA:

“I removed the bag and asked Mr. Huckabee if he knew what he had in the bag,” Little Rock police officer Arthur Nugent wrote in a report after being summoned to a security checkpoint. “He replied he did now.”

Yeah… He knew and he didn’t give a fuck. Like the Bush Twins, he’s another Republican spoiled brat who couldn’t give a shit about anybody but himself. They always say that the PK’s are the worse too. But when you’re the PK and your daddy’s a prominent Republican, it gives you the right to just walk on into an airport, stroll on through the security detail with a loaded Glock and nobody will ever call you a terrorist. And when he’s asked if he knew he had it – he just shrugs and says; “Yeah…so what? Big deal. What’s you’re problem with that?”

In December 2001, Baby Huey here was slapped for running a business in Jonesboro (Arkansas State University) without a license. Ordered to march his ass over to the city collector’s office and paid the $62.50 fine. So he goes and pays the fee with a bag full of 6,250 pennies.

When asked if he wanted to comment to The Herald, a visibly dissatisfied Huckabee said, “I don’t think so.”

While Huckabee would not discuss the payment with the press, he did tell city employees of his disgust with the media treatment of the situation.

Huckabee also voiced concern over the attention he was receiving.

“Obviously, there is nothing better to cover on campus than me licensing my company,” Huckabee said. “You’d think they would realize no one even reads that paper, or even takes them seriously yet here they are.”

Well Asshole, it would appear that everybody is reading that newspaper these days!

Did you notice the reporter explain this arrogant prick’s mouth?

While Huckabee would not discuss the payment with the press, he did tell city employees of his disgust with the media treatment of the situation.

He stomps his lard-ass up the steps of city hall carrying a bag of 6,250 pennies. Sweating profusely from the exertion of the seven steps from the curb, he huffs and puffs down the hallway…an exhausting thirteen feet. Red faced and severely deprived of desperately needed oxygen, he slams the bag on the counter and pulls out a Mars bar. While he’s pulling out the endless supply of saturated fats, he impatiently glares at the clerk who has to count each and every damned penny. Grover Welch, the author of this article, asked him if he had any comment and Huckabee didn’t. Instead, he belches six times, whips out a giant-sized bag of M&M’s and bitches at the city employees about his disappointment with the media’s attention.

What a disgusting and pathetic little boy…

…All because he tried to avoid paying a licensing fee to the city.

He paid the fine because a month earlier, the Arkansas State University Herald ran a story on Baby Huey, saying he was running illegals businesses on campus selling bullshit to the students. Crap like ball-point pens and promotional concessional trash to the Student Activities Board. At the time, he “owned” two businesses; “H & K Enterprises” and “Pyro-Erectus”.

Pyro-Erectus?! Flaming hard-on? Hot cock? Dick that shoots flames?! Who names a business “pyro-erectus”? If that isn’t “gay”, or at least “wanna-be” gay… I don’t know what is!!

But Super Chunk thinks he can avoid paying the $62 licensing fee by bullshitting his way out of it.

H & K Enterprises and Pyro-Erectus are not businesses, but partnerships, said Huckabee, a senior speech communications and political science major of Little Rock.

According to Ken Saddler spokesman for the City Clerk’s Office, neither H & K Enterprises nor Pyro-Erectus are licensed as businesses to operate within Jonesboro. According to Saddler, this is illegal no matter the amount of money being made by a business.

You see…It’s all all okay now. Partnerships are free and clear to do whatever he feels like or eats. He goes on, let’s see if you can see the “spoiled-rotten part” in this arrogant Republican asshole.

“They are not technically businesses, per se. I am a person who has a partner and we have a joint checking account, is basically what it is,” Huckabee said. “I understand what they [the city clerk’s office] think because it is portrayed to them that this is a business operation. But it’s not a business. It’s me operating with a partner ­ who have a joint checking account with a different name on it.

“That’s why my business doesn’t file taxes. We each file our own individual taxes because the partnership is just basically a checking account. The business is a joint checking account.”

What’s with all the bullshit about his “partner”? Is he trying to come out of the closet or what?!

Huckabee compared his companies to a kid who mows lawns for his neighbors.

He’s not going to go register his business with the city clerk’s office, because he cuts his next-door- neighbors-on-either-side’s grass. Even though that is a legitimate business,” he said. “It’s completely legitimate that I provide a service.

I don’t have a business; I provide services that I can do. I called my tax attorneys. He said, basically, you don’t have a business, you have a partnership.”

Yeah… He has a “tax attorney” like my little brother has H&R Block.  You can plug your nose and repeat that last paragraph out loud and you probably would sound like the arrogant asshole too. And what’s with the over-extended explanation of his “partner”. He goes on and on, bloviating about his “partnerships” all in the effort to avoid having to pay a licensing fee.

Who’s the partner?! We can offer him a Tic-tac for that soured cream-filling smell on his breath, but pray tell who is that “partner” of his?

And he pulls the “poor pity me” thing too. This is a favorite for both Republicans and “conservative Christians”: “They’re always hating me because I’m a Republican!” Or it’s like Scarborough said about Tom DeLay: He’s persecuted because he’s a Christian.

…No, it’s because they’re total jerks.

This is Super Chunk’s excuse:

“Trust me, when you have a last name that people like to attack on a regular basis, you make sure that what you do is legal. So, yes, my business, or the things or the services that I provide, are legal to operate,” Huckabee said.

Aww yeah… He’s such a celebrity there in Jonesboro. He’s got that Britney Gucci look, and the chicks all want to run their hands up and down the flabby folds of his body and get their groove on with him. When Baby Huey thunders on past, all the girls stop and stare with an animal-like lust in their eye… But it’s bittersweet, you know?! When you’re that damned popular…you just have to learn to be harassed.

He’s busted for running unlicensed businesses and all he had to do is pay $62.50. Instead, he shows up a month later with a fucking bag full of pennies and stands there bitching at the clerk because the media ran the story. What a pathetic fuck.

Jesus loves you but everybody else thinks you’re an asshole!

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