Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Found In The Ditch

Mark Cherry has new plans for Desperate Housewives

Openly gay Mark Cherry, creator and producer of the wildly popular television show “Desperate Housewives” has a revolutionary new idea for his show: Add a desperate gay househusband!

Marc Cherry, (right with Teri Hatcher), creator of Desperate Housewives revealed during the ABC Press Tour that Wisteria Lane will become home to its first gay couple in season 4. “We’re going to have the first male desperate housewives,” said Cherry. “They will move into the old Applewhite house and one of the gay men will just have a fractious, hateful relationship with Teri Hatcher. We just started writing the episodes so I probably won’t start casting for another few weeks.”

Will the lucky gay couple have their Massachusetts wedding license framed on the wall as the practice of most legally wed Gay/Lez couples?

Will all of the heterosexual couples’ marriage fall apart as guaranteed by the religiously insane? Oh wait…that’s already happened in seasons 1, 2 and 3, long before the Queers showed up!

It should be a blast to see. I can only hope the gay couple will be protrayed as professional gay people. Because if one of them is a “female impersonator” so some dumb crap like that, I ain’t watching it.

Fred (Fredrick of Hollywood) Thompson’s numbers are extremely low

The Republican Party, extremely disappointed with their current gaggle of Presidential hopeful contenders, have secretly habored a personal hope in Fred Thompson. Thompson however, continues to ride the fence on whether he really wants to run for the Presidency or not. And he seems to have taken a beating with his money laundering raising.

The amount Thompson raised for his committee to “test the waters” of a presidential bid lags the original $5 million goal backers set for June, the first month in which he set out to raise money.

Thompson did, however, collect more than several other Republicans did in their initial fundraising months as prospective candidates. Still, Thompson’s take doesn’t even compare to the stunning $6.5 million haul that Mitt Romney collected on a single day in January as he was exploring a bid.

Let’s recall that Mitt Romney, the GOP’s Golden Boy, has funding problems of his own and has been keeping his campaign floating with his own money.

Thompson apparently doesn’t seem to have enough of his own cash to chip into his campaign otherwise none of us would be seeing these kinds of headlines. Therefore, it’s safe to assume that he wasn’t paid that much when he served as a lobbyist for an abortion rights group. Thompson’s candidacy presents other problems as well: When he announces, all of the Law and Order episodes will have to be pulled off the air, including all of those that are currently in syndication. This move also has an effect on all of those fellow cast members including camera crews, make-up artists, casting directors and walk-on actors who will loose royalties for the more recent episodes.

Minnesota GOP Fund Raising Woes

…And while we’re talking about the financial woes of the GOP, it seems local statewide GOP teams have their own financial problems.

On another note, [ed.] said he got a call from GOP fundraisers for the special election and he refused to give any money because he did not trust the financial stewardship of the state party. And also because the caller was an asshole, he said.

Minnesota’s GOP has problems internally anyway. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (a.k.a. Bagdad Bachmann) has turned out to be even more bat-shit insane than the voters of MN Cong Dist 6 originally realized. Think Progress has a great piece on Congreswoman Bachman’s comparison to visiting Bagdad, Iraq to a trip to Mall of America in Minneapolis.

Eight-term Representative Mark Olson from Big Lake, MN has been dumped by the GOP Caucus after a jury cleared him of battery, but guilty for terrorizing his wife. While the trial was going on, it was revealed that this “GOP American Family Values” man would beat the shit out of his wife with a Holy Bible. In turn, she would defend herself by using her own Holy Bible and beat him with it. Don’t believe me? Check out the audio of his confession…

The best part of this story is that Representative Mark Olson is extremely anti-gay marriage. You can check out a YouTube of him bitching in the Minnesota House yelling about his religious views about gays getting married.

Are you still interested in giving your money to these Minnesota GOP political-hacks?!?

US Senator Ted Stevens’ home raided: Underwear, lubes and Internets discovered

This needs no introduction because the story speaks for itself…

The longest-serving Republican in U.S Senate history, who is known for delivering billions of federal dollars to his home state, Stevens in a statement said: “My attorneys were advised this morning that federal agents wished to search my home in Girdwood in connection with an ongoing investigation.

“I continue to believe this investigation should proceed to its conclusion without any appearance that I have attempted to influence the outcome,” it said.

Has anybody set up a webpage that keeps count of all of these GOP Senators and Congressman who’s lives are being invaded by FBI agents? Oh well – who cares about this one. Let him rot with the salmon spawn up river.

Have you heard about his son Ben Stevens? He’s an Alaskan state senator and he’s also under investigation for all kinds of mischief. It’s all of that “family values” that gets me warm and fuzzy on the inside, you know?!

The nonpartisan Taxpayers for Common Sense is planning on calling Minority Leader Mitch McConnell tomorrow to have Senator Ted Steven’s booted from his commitments to the US Senate while he deals with his legal … ehem… “problems”.

Scary Mary (Poppins) re-cut trailer

Andrew Sullivan found the most horrifying film on the YouTube to date. It’s a remake of Mary Poppins, only four times the scare. I was so terrified, I was peeing in my trash lid full of rotten fruit and I screamed so hard, I scared the neighboring maggots back to pupa-stage.

Found floating in a puddle on a rural dirt road

Props for Stephanie Miller

Stephanie Miller, and her very unfortunate mono-eyebrow problem received props from the Pundits section in The Hill. Miller, my future lesbian-partner, has been on MSNBC every morning all week filling in for the missing Imus. I didn’t see any of it, although I wanted to just to see what the two guys on her show look like. Little has been seen in Cyberville except for this:

Stephanie is a comedienne, radio host and progressive impressario, and it’s great to see her doing cable television.

She’s funny, pointed, provocative, progressive and her time on MSNBC is a mini-breakthrough and I suspect we’ll be seeing more of her.

Congratulations Steph! You and your mono-eyebrow got yourself on a prime-time hour and you flubbed it with President Bush .. ehem “Teddy” bears and arm-pit sweat.

When will Steph dump Chris Lavoie and hire a real “Gay”?

HRC’s Joe Solmonese Interviews Sr VP PETA

On The Agenda, aired on XM Radio 5/8/2007, Joe Solmonese interviewed Dan Matthews, Sr VP of PETA. During the interview, Mr. Matthews made a few claims that simply aren’t true.

Matthews points out that humans are the only species that drinks milk as adults, and humans are the only species that drinks milk from another species. Pretty bold comment, considering Mr. Matthews may have never visited a good old fashioned family dairy farm. If he had, he would have noticed the number of cats that line up and meow relentlessly hoping a cow’s teat would be aimed at them during the milking process.

The other day, I was clumsy and spilt some Grade A 1% on the floor. Our dog Otis was front and center and cleaned up the spill quite promptly.

Perhaps Mr. Matthews would be better served if he pointed out that humans keep cows, goats, sheep and other such mammals in a lactose-state. That if you stop milking a cow, she’ll slow down production until she goes conceives a calf. But if you continue to milk the beast – it’ll continue to give milk. Maybe that’s considered cruel too.

Mr. Matthews also pointed out all people should become vegans like him..because if we’re not vegans – we’re being extra-super cruel to our fine furry friends. Well said, except if you’re an Eskimo. Beating a baby seal over the head might be cruel according to Mr. Matthrews – but it’s survival and nutrition ananlysis for our Eskimo friends up north.

Bunker Blasting

More and more gossip is floating around that GW Bush is caving, mentally. The technical term is “Bunker Blasting“, that point when a person is under so much pressure certain personality traits usually suppressed under normal circumstances escape out. Bipolar behaviors show up at inconvenient times, sudden unprovoked rage and temper tantrums, or perhaps something like this;

Sometimes insider gossip seems to confirm what all us outsiders think we’re seeing, so, for what it’s worth…we’re hearing that some big money players up from Texas recently paid a visit to their friend in the White House. The story goes that they got out exactly one question, and the rest of the meeting consisted of The President in an extended whine, a rant, actually, about no one understands him, the critics are all messed up, if only people would see what he’s doing things would be OK…etc., etc.

This is called a “bunker mentality” and it’s not attractive when a friend does it. When the friend is the President of the United States, it can be downright dangerous. Apparently the Texas friends were suitably appalled, hence the story now in circulation.

Think Progress was “keen and savvy” in their posting the same story with an interesting parallelism with Nixon’s Buster Blasting behavior:

“Bush has apparently taken to whining about how unappreciated he his. As I recall, Nixon started talking the same way, right before he was driven from office. This isn’t encouraging. In fact, if Bush starts wondering what he can do to prove everyone wrong about his greatness, this kind of thinking could get scary.”

You can also see it showing up in the tabloid news as well.

Fred Phelps hates Dick (Cheney)

You can only take so much of the “God Hates Fags” Asshole from Kansas. You watch the YouTube video and Phelps goes on a tear about what kind of demon-seed Dick’s dick has spawned through his lesbian daughter. I laughed for about three minutes before I began to wonder about Kansas law and what defines a person who’s completely insane.

ESPN sports laughs a Republicans

It’s a rare time for ESPN to get involved with the political scene, but you can’t help it when a Republican presidential hopeful flies up to Chedderville and makes a Dan Quayle sized gaff:

The GOP presidential hopeful drew boos and groans Friday at the Wisconsin Republican Party convention when he used a football analogy to talk about the need to focus on families.

“This is fundamental blocking and tackling,” he said. “This is your line in football. If you don’t have a line, how many passes can Peyton Manning complete? Greatest quarterback, maybe, in NFL history.

Corrupt Bastards Club

The Alaskan Daily News has picked up and coined the new cliche for the Republican Party as a whole, specifically now with the Alaskan GOP. Let’s remember that the entire Ohio Republican Party is either already in jail, or are facing jail time – and with Randy Duke Cunningham, Tom DeLay and the rest who are facing jail time…calling the Republican Party the “Corrupt Bastards Club” in the generic sense of the word suits them well.

Included in the search were the offices of four legislators associated with the Corrupt Bastards Club: Stevens, Rep. Pete Kott, R-Eagle River; Sen. John Cowdery, R-Anchorage; and Rep. Vic Kohring, R-Wasilla.

Also searched were the offices of Sen. Donald Olson, D-Nome, and Rep. Bruce Weyhrauch, R-Juneau.

A copy of one of the search warrants, obtained by The Associated Press, links the investigation to the new production tax law signed last month by Murkowski and the natural gas pipeline draft contract Murkowski and the state’s three largest oil companies negotiated.

Do you remember the US Senator Ted Stevens who demanded that a bridge costing $300 million that connect to an uninhabited island? It was the same US Senator who said the Internet was a bunch of “tubes and wires“… Well, even his son, Ben Stevens, a State Senator in Alaska has been included in the same investigation…

Campaign contributions from VECO executives to 11 lawmakers, including Chenault, were detailed in a guest opinion article that ran in the state’s three largest newspapers in March. A 12th lawmaker, Senate President Ben Stevens, the son of U.S. Sen Ted Stevens, was also noted in the article as receiving generous consulting fees from VECO. Stevens has collected more than $240,000 from VECO since 2000.

(a humble piece of rotting fruit in offer to the dailykos.com in thanks)

A Sunday Skewl Teacher named Chino Stripes

Chino came to live up here in Minnesota and had a tough time with our winters, and so he moved back to St Louis. Now he sits and checks out chicks asses and slams members of the “Corrupt Bastards Club” (A.D.D. readers, please re-read and repeat three times!)

If you like to look at chick’s butts and discuss politics – click up there. Otherwise, email me for some nice photographs of some great looking “man ass”!!

I’ve been off-line for a month now. Exhausted and still very pissed off at the Minnesota DFL, the DLC, DNC and especially the GOP. Perhaps US politicians have truly forgotten the voice of the American people. One thing is for certain: We best figure it out fast.