Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

A Fruit Fly Rant: An Excuse For Prosecuting Christians

Conservative Christians have been claiming the “poor persecuted” gripe for years now. And, while they seem to completely empty on pointing out exactly when society actually persecuted them, they milk the mantra completely to death.

When I was a kid, I heard all of them. All of them! Let’s see if I can come up wit… Got it!

There was a time (when exactly is never clarified) when the king (which king?) ruled that Christianity was to be illegal. So this kind sent out his men and persecuted everybody who professed to be a Christian. The Royal decree proclaimed that not only Christians be persecuted, but their Holy Bibles were to be destroyed.

Well, then the king’s were coming to this village and this little old lady heard about the decree and knew her Holy Bible would be destroyed. So the old lady made a pie, and she tucked her precious Holy Bible inside of the pie and filled the rest of the space with her fruit filling.

So, when the men came into her home they searched everywhere for a Holy Bible but couldn’t find one. And the little old lady offered them a piece of her pie which they ate it with relish. Satisfied that the little old lady was not a Christian and she had no Bible, they left her house alone where she prayed and read her Bible in piece.

<yawn>

Complete rubbish. But, the opportunity of the prominent Christians in our society play the cliche at every opportunity.

Jerry Falwell – On the main page of his website you’ll find the phrase describing the contents of his propaganda piece “National Liberty Journal”:

Identify the key religious freedom cases of the day, as people of faith continue to be the most persecuted individuals in America..

Pat Robertson will fall over backward to tell you how horrible it is to be a Christian because they’re so persecuted.

The opposite is the true of course. Reverend Pat Robertson will be the first to push the call for the assasination of Hugo Chavez and US Supreme Court Judges. Oops….My bad. Robertson told his television audience that God told Pat that He would take care of Supreme Court judges on behalf of Pat Robertson. God does Pat’s bidding, you understand.

Tom DeLay. When he was forced to resign his position, he immediately jumped on the “poor persecuted Christian” routine and looked everywhere for support. He even managed to find a conference called “War On Christians” in March 2006.

Rick Scarborough, the convener of the conference said during the gathering:

“I believe the most damaging thing that Tom DeLay has done in his life is take his faith seriously into public office, which made him a target for all those who despise the cause of Christ,” Scarborough said, introducing DeLay on Tuesday. When DeLay finished, the host reminded the politician: “God always does his best work right after a crucifixion.”

The emphasis is mine of course. My question is “Who?”

Who are these people who “despise the cause of Christ”? Will this person please leave a comment and tell me about yourself and your organization?

I want to get to know if these alleged people who “despise the cause of Christ”. Do they have “meetings” and conventions where they scheme new ways to destory Christians? Where? May I sign up and attend such a conference?

…And exactly to what extent of their destruction is necessary? Do these “Christ-hating” people have conventions and conferences to discuss these issues? Could I please have some additional information on this?

How many Christians are there who are tucking their KJV’s into fruit-filled pies? And what kind of persecution are they suffering from? Is it like Bush water-boarding young Iraqi men?

St Pat “The Persecuted” Robertson said to Molly Ivins in 1993:

“Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.”

Saint Pat here claims that Christians are more persecuted that the Jews during the Holocaust! What did I miss? Where are these Christians being funneled into ovens and gassed to death? Where in America can I find that “Dachau” prison system? Is it right outside of St Louis somewhere?If these Christians are being so horribly persecuted, I say that we’re all wasting our time. Let’s “fix” them when they’re young! Face it, we’re obviously spending too much money to gas them in that American Dachau, and to throw them into jail, that costs money too!

Can we neuter this “Christian” trait? Can we identify the very DNA protein that makes them feel persecuted and we’ll be able to cure ourselves from this Christian “disease” garden variety g-nome?

Let’s begin persecuting them like they claim they have been all along! Let’s begin by finding a way to cure the wacked out “Jesus Campers” while in-vitro. If we can find a genetic attribute before the Christian is born, tweak the gene and we can finally quit listening to them bellyaching once and for all! Let’s face it: We’ll be rid of the Gay Male Porn industry if we never had Ted Haggard’s out there yelling and screaming about all of this “persecution”. Lonnie Latham, senior pastor of the South Tulsa Baptist Church and senior executive of the Southern Baptist Convention wouldn’t be persecuted in jail right now if he would have been cured of his Christianity before he was born! Come to think of it, without Jimmy Swaggart, we would put a serious dent into the str8 female prostitution industry as well!

I can’t even be crafty enough to hatch such an idea. However, Reverend R. Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY is crafty enough. The horribly persecuted Christian said exactly:

“If a biological basis is found, and if a prenatal test is then developed, and if a successful treatment to reverse the sexual orientation to heterosexual is ever developed, we would support its use as we should unapologetically support the use of any appropriate means to avoid sexual temptation and the inevitable effects of sin.”

That’s right. Mohler has decided that a.) Homosexuality is no longer a “choice”, but is instead “genetic” and b.) There is currently no “cure” for homosexuality, but when there is one, it should be used on unborn babies and we will once and for all wipe it off the face the Earth. Gay and lesbian people are nothing but God’s genetic flaws. As “Dr” Laura Schlessinger called gays “biological errors“, we can see that even the persecutic conservative Jews agree that homosexuality is genetic.

Dr. Mohler said that he would be “unapologetic”. As well as he shouldn’t be. When we really and truly begin persecuting Christians like we should have been doing all along, we’ll see less and less of this depraved indifference towards each other.

War; What Is It Good For?

A War Of Bullets

Last week, we saw our Decider in Chief tell all of us that he’s already committed 21,000 troops into Baghdad, which confuses me as to the reason behind the presentation in the first place. Isn’t that about the same thing as being stopped at a red light and the guy behind you gets out of his car, walks up to your window and says: “I’ve already committed to the idea of running into your back with my car, please buckle up.”?

A War Of Words

Last October, we witnessed Michael Richards go on some wacked-out tirade against black folks and calling them the “N——” word. Mr. Richards, a Jew, later tries to apologise six ways to Sunday, including phoning in while Jerry Seinfeld was out on the sofa with Jay Leno. (Click the picture of Richards to see the YouTube video if you’re interested in seeing this idiot do it all over again.) Albeit Richards’ meltdown was in the middle of his act, the media was in a frenzie about his word choice…everybody was talking about it.

During that same time, TR Knight of the ABC show “Greys Anatomy” came out of the closet rather quietly. What was going on? Isaiah Washington was talking to some of the cast members and referencing TR by calling him a faggot. Then during the Golden Globe awards, a reporter asked the cast of Greys Anatomy a question to which Isaiah Washington excitedly grabbed the microphone and said; “I did not…call TR Knight a faggot.”

TR Knight, as he reported on Ellen Degeneres’ show “Ellen”, said he was around the corner when Washington let the slur slip out of his mouth the first time. He said little on the show about Washington’s comment on Ellen’s show, however Katherine Heigl who plays Dr Isobel “Izzie” Stephens, was quoted to say (about Washington); “He should just not be allowed to speak in public” [about this topic].

How weird the two incidents, both happening right around the same time frame, that one gets virtually no airtime in comparason.

By the way, if you want to sign an “e-protest” and have your voice heard to have Isaiah Washington fired, you can click here. The best write up argument about this incident came from AfterElton which you can read by clicking here. Another excellent write up on this story comes from Dorothy Surrenders and their peice on “Anatomy of Hate”.

Now tell me something: If Isaiah Washington can call TR Knight a faggot while in the workplace, would it be perfectly acceptable for TR Knight to turn around and say; “F*** off, nigger!” Is there a balance in that?

Perhaps the more honest response is a simple response: “Don’t call us a faggot and we won’t call you.”

A War of Legislation

Brandt Hershman, a state senator from Indiana (a Republican of course), has won the GOP Hypocrit of the week with his newest legislation to prevent gay folks from getting married in the Hoosier State.

The legislator’s ex-wife alleges that in 2000 he drove her to an abortion clinic and he paid for her to have an abortion. Even better, he then filed for divorce a week later. Nice. He said that he didn’t force her to do so, she claimed that he did.

This guy is just as bad as Newt “Newtie” Gingrich, who met his wife in recovery after cancer surgery with his attorney present demanding that she sign his divorce papers.

The most notorious incident in Gingrich’s marriage — first reported by David Osborne in Mother Jones magazine in 1984 — was when he cornered Jackie in her hospital room where she was recovering from uterine cancer surgery and insisted on discussing the terms of the divorce he was seeking.

Shortly after that infamous encounter, Gingrich refused to pay his alimony and child-support payments. The First Baptist Church in his hometown had to take up a collection to support the family Gingrich had deserted.

Let’s also point out that Newtie’s women all had to give him a blow-job because, as he put it, “so I can say that I haven’t slept with you”. He was mighty upset about Clinton’s blow-job act, but for him…It’s okay.

It’s becoming more and more of a stereotype that these neocons are nothing but a Sunday School teacher’s failure with a macaroni , paper and glitter potrait. “The National Sunday School Teacher Association” shouldn’t be blamed… Newtie, Hershman and Bush Co. are the obvious constant.

A War on Church

Bishop Desmond Tutu is at it again, blasting Peter Akinola’s homophobia within the Anglican Church. Just in time before their upcoming big meetings (Anglican Communion) where the fur will fly and homophobes will be screaming about how terrifying gay people aren’t.

I have to hand it to Bishop Tutu – some folks like Billy Graham, some like Jerry Falwell (I don’t know why), while others love Sinead O’Conner as a favorite person of the religious cloth… For me? It’s Bishop Desmond Tutu who has always managed to live his life as a Christian should, and as Christ commanded us.

No wait… That sounded all weird and stuff….!! I take that back!!

A War on Attorneys

The Bush Administration is terminating the services of, or demoting attorneys involved in the Jack Abramoff scandals. When Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez was asked about this activity, Gonzalez went into complete denial claiming that the firing of these attorneys were simply another example of brilliant management-style by the President.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has denied political motivations behind the resignations, recently telling Congress, “Nothing could be further from the truth.” He added that they were a “sign of good management” by the Bush administration.

Meanwhile, a top official in the Pentagon is trying to intimidate law firms that are representating prisoners in Guantanamo. The Pentagon, tried to separate themselves from Charles “Cully” Stimson’s comments by stating emphatically that he doesn’t represent the view of the Bush Administration. Stimson, who seemed to be on a rant, went on to say;

“And I think, quite honestly, when corporate CEOs see that those firms are representing the very terrorists who hit their bottom line back in 2001, those CEOs are going to make those law firms choose between representing terrorists or representing reputable firms,” Stimson said.

Asked who might be paying the law firms to represent Guantanamo detainees, Stimson hinted at wrongdoing for which some explaining should be done.

“It’s not clear, is it? Some will maintain that they’re doing it out of the goodness of their heart — that they’re doing it pro bono, and I suspect they are,” he said. “Others are receiving monies from who knows where and I’d be curious to have them explain that.”

Well boys and girls, if you can’t call this Stalinism or Marxism, when shall we begin?

A War On Racism

In a Virginia newspaper interview relating to Virginia offering an apology to African Americans for its involvement with slavery, Delegate Frank D. Hargrove stated simply:

slavery ended nearly 140 years ago with the Civil War and added that “our black citizens should get over it.”

Mr. Hargrove went on to ask the rhetorical question of whether or not Jews should apologizing for the crucifixition of Christ!

As a proud Yankee, it’s high time we put people like Frank Hargrove on notice by saying we have no plans to apologize for kicking his grand-daddy’s ass in the Civil War. We have no qualms about remindng Mr. Hargrove and his racist buddy Virgil Goode that their grandfathers’ asses were handed to them and we have no intention of ever apologizing for it and we’ll happily do it again!

I wonder how any Republican can be proud to stand up with these neo-nazi scumballs? I mean, don’t they smell bad or something?!

A War on Music

And finally (whew!) there’s the matter of war in music. While I typed all of this and zoomed around picking up links and pictures, I kept humming the same tune in my head… “War..What is it good for? UH! …AAAboslutely nothing! Say it again!!” Of course, thinking about Ewdin Starr’s original 1970 version kept sticking in my brain. Then U2’s Sunday Bloody Sunday song danced around in my head, which was from their WAR album back in 198-something.

But one tune stuck out especially…and I have to admit – the Video they produced was pretty damned cool too. So, if’n ya wanna see my musical interpretation of “war”… Click here: