Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

Friday’s Funnies and Foibles

I, the Great and Amazing Fruitfly, will hand you some yummy bits of rotting fruit for you to share with your friends tonight after work. What could be better? You’re at a TGI Fridays sipping on one of their extra-large glasses of frosty cold beer, all of your friends are sitting around, laughter is everywhere and everybody’s relieved that Friday has finally found fun time. (Is that enough “F” words for you?”!)

Let’s deal with the “Famous FruitFly Foible” first: “Who has the character flaw?”. Why, that would be President George Bush, Number 41 of course! While in Los Angeles to attend an awards ceremony has lunch with Desperate Housewives’s star Teri Hatcher. While they parted ways in the parking lot, GHW Bush gives Ms. Hatcher a wet kissy and then smacks her on the ass. There’s even a short video shot of it if you don’t believe me. So the Friday Foible goes to Ms. Hatcher for even having lunch with the old goat in the first place!

Wonkette‘s piece on this story is the funniest take I’ve seen in ages. (God loves a Wonkette.) Of course, GHWB has already denied the action, but who could blame him for that? Terri Hatcher is much more attractive than waking up next to the Quaker Oats man every morning for sixty-three years.

Pheonix Woman (a.k.a. Mercury Rising) is speculating that Newt Gingrich is going to throw his hat into the ring for Presidential Candidate. Newtie (as his mother affectionally called him) was interview by James Dobson of Focus on the Family where he made his relgious “mea culpa” for his past deeds as a womanizer, wife ditcher and a dead-beat dad. Gingrich said:

Gingrich tells Dobson that he has “gotten on his knees and sought God’s forgiveness” for his personal failings.

With all of the Republican Candidates, I think it’s safest to say that Newtie Gingrich, so far, has the most number and the most horrific skeletons in the closet. Everybody seems to remember the story about Newt demanding divorce papers from his first wife as she was wheeled into the Recovery Room after surgery resulting from cancer. But you really have to sit back in “shock and awe” when you look at the abysmal low the Republican Party will go to even shove Newt Gingrich out there to run for President. My favorite quote so far from Newtie? It’s what he said about his first wife:

“She isn’t young enough or pretty enough to be the President’s wife.”

Is that sound like Presidential material to you? If not, you can swim in the bottom of Pam’s coffee cup and discuss Newtie’s hypocracy in impeaching Clinton while he excuses himself for having an affair at the same time at Pamshouseblend.

But while we’re talking about right wing hypocracy, have you ever checked out Jesus’ General? He is heterosexually thrilled for his favorite fab new television personality Matt Sanchez.

I understand that he’s starred in a number of movies. I haven’t seen any of them, but by the titles, I’d say they must be action movies. Jawbreaker sounds like it might be the story about a cop who enforces the law with his fists. Donkey Dick is certainly a western. Didn’t Ronald Reagan also star in a movie with the same title? I’m not sure what Glory Holes Of Fame 3 or Beat Off Frenzy are about, but they sound like they might be war movies.

If course, if you don’t know about this story, you can click on the pictures of Anne Coulter with Matt or the picture of Sean Hannity with him. WARNING: The website you’ll be visiting does have some of Matt Sanchez’s best work; he’s in the buff! Of course, if you’re a big fan of gay porn, especially of Matt Sanchez (a.k.a. Rod Majors), help yourself by clicking here.

Rudy Giuliani has just been horribly embarrassed by those from his own backyard: The New York City Firefighters. They’ve sent out a letter that says:

“This letter is intended to make all of our members aware of the egregious acts Mayor Giuliani committed against our members, our fallen on 9-11, and our New York City union officers following that horrific day …

“We have heard from some affiliates that Giuliani’s campaign is beginning to reach out to our locals, looking to build support. If you are contacted by the Giuliani campaign we hope you will say not just, “No,” but, “Hell no.”

NYFD was pushed away when Giuliani wanted to destroy evidence clean up the debris from the World Trade Center and allow the big rig equipment to scope up the evidence rubble and sell recycleable evidence material to China. NYFD of course, wasn’t finished trying to find their own, let alone any surivors that might still be inside and they rioted and protested and Giuliani ignored them. Oh!  And I almost forgot to tell you that if you click on the picture of Giuliani there, you’ll be whisked away in a new window to watch Giuliani’s Drag Queen Debute with Donald Trump who did not say, oddly enough, “You’re Fired”!!

Well, that’s about all I have for you today. I’ve spawned about three hundred new eggs with this chunk of melon I have here and I’m about all out of Friday’s Funnies!Did you have enough Funnies?

No?

Then perhaps you can click here and watch Monte Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl and their famous sketch: “The Argument Clinic“.

Until then…

FruitFly Power Forever!!!