Secret Young Republicans training compound located!!

First photos are emerging from behind the enemy lines, where their nefarious indoctrination techniques corrupt the innocent minds of America’s youth and prepare them for a life committed to espousing Republican ideology that runs counter to their own self interests!

We all owe a debt of gratitude to the Democratic operatives that have risked their lives to bring us this first haunting photo:

Here we can obviously see a seemingly innocent piece of playground equipment that has been twisted by the right-wing propaganda masters into some sort of sick political metaphor…

Undercover operatives for the Democratic Party have told us that Republican parents force their unwilling children up the molded plastic stairs into the GOP’s “Indoctrination Machine.” These children remain inside for up to 48 hours until they are fully processed. The children, once they are completely transformed into a smelly mass of waste material, will eventually tumble down the chute behind the Indoctrination Machine fully prepared to carry-on the Neocon Agenda.

Said one Republican mother after her child was expelled from the Indoctrination Machine: “Oh, he’s still the little stinker he always was….” where she snickered and waddled away.

UNICEF, Save the Children and Sally Struthers have begun nationwide media campaigns to save these poor little children before they’ve become indoctrinated into the little GOP shit’s that’s expected of each and every one of them. So please: If you can give anything, please give to Sally Struther’s Christian Children’s Fund. Because Jesus, and only Jesus could love these little Turds.

I found it on Bartcop Nation… So it must be true!

The Democrats vs The GOP: How We Doin’ So Far?

Friends from all over the United States have told me, either on the phone or via email that the Democrats have been showing up in droves. When we went to vote, traffic was so horribly backed up, people simply pulled over on the shoulder and abandoned their vehicles. We found a back road behind a parking lot which was filling up and did the same. I’ve seen news media everywhere saying that Democrats have been showing up twice, if not three times to that of our Republican counter-parts.

But is that really true?

I spent an hour this morning swimming out there in “Dataville” and I couldn’t find anybody who’ll tell me the ratio of voting Dems to Repukes on this year’s Primaries/Caucuses.

This morning on Meet The Press, Tim Russert practically shoved Huckleberry Hound off the set after Holy Mike explained he was praying for a “Jesus sized Miracle” to win. But by the time Holy Mike got to twanging away about frying squirrels on a popcorn popper in college, the real “Jesus Miracle” was the number people who were still watching the show.

Following that fiasco of total air time, Russert pooled his buddies together to discuss the elections and how they’re going for both the Dems and the ‘Pukes. Gwen Ifle, David Brody, Chuck Todd and Dave Broder (the token GOP Whore) all had an intriguing conversation about the Obama v Clinton delegate count.

Then these words were said on MTP:

MR. RUSSERT: …And if you look at the vote count thus far in these primaries, here it is: Republicans have gotten 12.9 million votes, Democrats have gotten 19.2 votes.

It shows a little more intensity and enthusiasm for one party over another, Chuck Todd.

MR. TODD: It’s a huge problem for the Republicans. I mean, they look at these numbers, and they’re very, very nervous.

Are they really that nervous? Is Karl Rove really pulling out the remaining strands of hair from his balding scalp?

How much of an effect can a 30% approval rating for a sitting US President have on primary caucuses in an election year?

• A good friend of mine, a liberal Democrat in Atlanta: “Twice as many Dems showed up to vote as Republicans!!”
• Another friend of mine in Montgomery, AL: “You wouldn’t believe it! Dems were everywhere voting…you couldn’t find a Republican anywhere!”
• A friend of mine from Los Angeles: “Dude, it’s incredible. You wouldn’t believe it. EVERYBODY is voting Dem out here. It’s so knarley, ya know?!”
• Last Friday, my best friend, a Catholic priest in southern Lousiana said while chewing on some fresh crawfish: “I think dat Hillary’s going to win Louisiana, but who dat Obama say he goin’ a-win?!” (Obama won of course; pass the hot sauce, thank you very much.)
• Here in Minnesota, my State Senator Ann Rest said that they were expecting three times DFL’ers to show up to vote over the Minnesota GOP.

Is this all true?

It was -30F wind chill last night. Little Otis is upset because he’s bored out of his skull for lack of anything related to the outdoors and withdrawl symptoms from his addiction to squirrel poop. What a better time to give the dog a rawhide bone and get my mouse surfing?

I gave up screwing around with local Secretary of State offices. If the SOS is a Republican, you can’t find the vote-count results anywhere. If it’s a Dem, the SOS is so overly “datafied” and the research became ridiculous. Huge *.PDF files with breakdowns of precinct percentages broken down by “voters under 35” and “household incomes less than fifty dollars”.

Ugh!

I caved in and went worshiping at the Throne of Mass Media: CNN.

I tallied up all of the votes between Democrats and Republicans, regardless of which candidate they voted for, even if they were simply “undecided”.

The numbers are astounding. Including some states you’d never think. I’ve highlighted states to match the color of the party with the higher turnout. The rare GOP turn out might surprise you, or it may not.

Please note that Maine finished their primary today, and the CNN data was less than 8 minutes old when I was tallying up those totals. States where one party is TWICE or THREE TIMES the turnout as their counter-parts are highlighted in yellow. Which attracts the most of my attention.

Voter Totals are valid as of 2/11/04 (i.e. Expect updates…)

ALABAMA:
DEM: 539,743
2,672 (Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 563,822
1,252 (Uncommitted Included)

ARIZONA:
DEM: 397,642
GOP: 480,351

ARKANSAS:
DEM: 298,338
GOP: 218,897
(944 Uncommitted Included)

Interesting: More people from the “Old Geezer” State showed up to vote for their guy John McCain (the ultimate old geezer) than Mike Huckabee could draw from his own Hillbilly State. Perhaps the GOP voters in Arkansas decided that bribing the Huckabee’s to leave the Governors Mansion in Little Rock with that gift registry at Target and Dillards was enough. God knows what the Huckabee’s will do to take a bribe to leave the White House in four years.

CALIFORNIA:
DEM: 4,541,,082
GOP: 2,293,212

COLORADO:
DEM: 119,184
(1253 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 55,845

CONNECTICUT:
DEM: 350,595
GOP: 150,159

DC (District of Columibia):
DEM: 113,157
GOP: 5,711

Note: Only GOP congressional staffers bothered to show up to vote here. I can imagine the GOP Polling “Holes” were vacant with an occasional voter strolling in every other hour or so… This GOP turnout was pathetic!

DELAWARE:
DEM: 95,979
GOP: 50,062

FLORIDA:
DEM: 1,684,390
GOP: 1,864,350

I found Florida interesting. Floridians knew their delegates were banned by the DNC. Yet, they went out and voted anyway. And they still ran short by about 180,000 Republicans.

GEORGIA:
DEM: 1,046,485
GOP: 954,462

HAWAI’I:
DEM: 37,247
(65 Uncommitted)
GOP: The Repukes hold their Primary on 5/18 (like we cared).

IDAHO:
DEM: 21,224
(552 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: The Repukes hold their Primary on 5/27 (like we care).

ILLINOIS:
DEM: 2,958,268
GOP: 885,009

KANSAS:
DEM: 36,695
(8 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 19,133
(84 Uncommitted Included)

LOUISIANA:
DEM: 357,547
GOP: 156,101

Noted: Most all of the Southern states, the Dems seem to have found their voice! Louisiana, rare to be twice that of the turnout to that of the ‘Pukes, but not uncommon to be such a high turnout!

MAINE: (To be updated, obviously)
DEM: 3,200
(17 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 2,410

MARYLAND:
DEM: 723,407
GOP: 277,162

MASSACHUSETTS:
DEM: 1,244,133
(7,766 “No Preference” Included)
GOP: 496,171
(1875 “No Preference” Included)

MICHIGAN:
DEM: 593,837
(237,762 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 867,271
(18106 Uncommitted Included)

Another interesting voter turnout. Michigan’s delegates were also banned and yet the Dems showed up anyway; 273,000 less than their Repuke neighbors.

MINNESOTA:
DFL: 213,249
GOP: 62,857
Constitution Party: 82

Interesting note for Minnesota: The Greens and the Independents didn’t vote. They either voted for a Dem or a ‘Puke, but there’s no votes cast for an Independent or a Greenie. (See ya later Ralphie!!!)

UPDATE: Grace Kelly over at MnBlue politely informed me that the Greenies and the Indies don’t vote until later. I stand corrected but there’s no damned way I’m pullin’ down my digi-graphic of Ralphie. He’s so HOT!!

(Please read the COMMENTS for more information.)

MISSOURI:
DEM: 823,376
(3,133 Uncommitted Votes Included)
GOP: 433,749
(2,083 Uncommitted Votes Included)
LIB: 2056
(963 Uncommitted Votes Included)

NEBRASKA:
DEM: 38,481
(99 Uncommitted Votes Included)
GOP: The ‘Pukes hold their Primary on 5/13 (like we care).

NEVADA:
DEM: 10,560
(31 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 44,324

AND FOR CHRISSAKES! IT’S PRONOUNCED: NE-VA-DA!!

I’m sick and tired of y’all mispronouncing it!

NEW HAMPHSIRE:
DEM: 284,104
GOP: 233,381

NEW JERSEY:
DEM: 1,109,369
GOP: 556,855

Vote! Or we’ll call Tony Soprano on ya.

NEW MEXICO: (What’s up with Gov. Bill Richardson’s backyard in Counting Votes, anyway?)
DEM: 139,869
(413 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: (The Repukes have their Primary on June 8…Like we care)

NEW YORK:
DEM: 1,721,265
GOP: 602,747
(18,566 voting for Rotten Rudy Giuliani Included)

Like Huckabee, New Yorkers ignoring Rudy like that was a crushing embarrassment. Not only did New Yorkers say to Rudy; “No!”, they said “HELL F%$#$ NO!”

NORTH DAKOTA:
DEM: 18,856
GOP: 9,743

Not quite twice the number of Dems! But; “Ooooh..! So close!” As conservative as NoDaks tend to be, this is a remarkable turnout.

OKLAHOMA:
DEM: 401,230
GOP: 329,843

SOUTH CAROLINA:
DEM: 530,322
GOP: 442,918

TENNESSEE:
DEM: 614,096
(3,123 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 547,614
(1812 Uncommitted Included)

UTAH:
DEM: 122,617
GOP: 283,759

VIRGINIA:
DEM: 964,701
GOP: 479,644

WASHINGTON:
DEM: 31,984
(363 Uncommitted Included)
GOP: 13,475
(1729 Uncommitted Included)

WISCONSIN:
DEM: 1,099,624
(860 Uninstructed Included)
GOP: 403,437
(850 Uninstructed Included)

I counted 22 states in which the more voters showed up for the Dems than for the ‘Pukes. I would say the Dems are doing pretty well this year. And as we progress our final year of the Village Idiot sitting in the Oval Office and Dick Cheney keeps burning down restrooms, in the Vice Presidents office and government offices all over Washington DC, more of us are going to be fed up with the GOP’s “Disaster Platform”.

I would tend to believe Chuck Todd in the fact that the GOP is extremely nervous. The NRCC, the financial spinal-column for the upcoming GOP election, is bracing for the news of many years of financial looting going back many many years. As well as they should be:

The NRCC’s accounting problems were discussed during two high-level conference calls between senior GOP lawmakers on Friday and Monday night, according to Republicans briefed on the calls.

“There is a sense that this could be very damaging to the committee,” said a Republican insider close to the GOP leadership.

The precise details of the suspected accounting irregularities and their possible fallout are not entirely clear. NRCC officials and top GOP leaders are being tight-lipped in large part because the FBI is investigating the matter. An outside lawyer advising members and staff has warned everyone at the committee to keep quiet.

Do I think we’re doing better than the ‘Pukes?! Definitely! Even in spite of the growing debate within the DNC about Super Delegates and Obama v Clinton is a whole lot better than what the GOP is facing. The DNC isn’t broke, under investigations, rife with scandals and filled with corruption. The GOP could only pray for a complex issue like a brokered convention.